private before shows meet up ft. nick robinson

he should have listened and gave space, but also he was a bit of a hot head, so awsten quick ran out of the airport managing to figure out where andy was rehearsing and racing over as fast as he possibly could to see the actor. his heterochromic eyes were slighting watery and he looked like he had just been through it. quickly pulling nick aside, holding his hand tightly, but not enough to hurt him. “nick, please.. i..” the musician stopped for a moment trying to catch his breath. from all the running he just didn. “fuck,” he muttered under his breathe before looking at the brunet again, “look.. i know you’re mad, you have the right, take time to forgive me.. but i’m also mad at me too.. okay? i should be in florida for a show tonight but came to see you quick, okay? i’m serious about you..” his voice trailed off, trying to find the right words. “please.. just.. hear me out at least..” // @notnickrobinson​

Title;;  private before show meet ups With;;  awsten knight & nick robinson ( @notnickrobinson ) Where;;  the morning in new mexico where black veil brides are doing pre-show rehearsals - 12/4/2022 Summary;;   not okay with how things went in text, awsten left florida to go see nick in new mexico on tour with andy to talk things out Warnings;;  none Note;;  moved from tumblr to chatzy to finish quicker

RECAP FROM TUMBLR

awsten: he should have listened and gave space, but also he was a bit of a hot head, so awsten quick ran out of the airport managing to figure out where andy was rehearsing and racing over as fast as he possibly could to see the actor. his heterochromic eyes were slighting watery and he looked like he had just been through it. quickly pulling nick aside, holding his hand tightly, but not enough to hurt him. “nick, please.. i..” the musician stopped for a moment trying to catch his breath. from all the running he just didn. “fuck,” he muttered under his breathe before looking at the brunet again, “look.. i know you’re mad, you have the right, take time to forgive me.. but i’m also mad at me too.. okay? i should be in florida for a show tonight but came to see you quick, okay? i’m serious about you..” his voice trailed off, trying to find the right words. “please.. just.. hear me out at least..”

Nick: Seeing Awsten at Andy’s rehearsal, Nick was irritated just at the sight of him. Giving the singer a blank look as he stumbled over his words. “No, Awsten. I don’t want to see you anymore. Please leave.” he said staring at the singer. “I’m not mad, I’m hurt. I’m hurt that you did what you did. You hurt me how no one has ever hurt me before.” Nick said with a quiver in his voice, “I don’t think I can forgive you after that.” He said as he tried to walk past the red headed singer.

awsten: “no!” awsten announced quickly, pulling the actor further away while andy was distracted, not wanting to draw too much attention to them. “you’re hurt? what about me, nicholas? you asked in text and i told you to come ask me in person, you said you would.. what happened?” he asked simply, loosening his hold on nick’s hand, glancing down and just recalling all they’ve been through. “you hurt me too.. you asked so much when i said i wasn’t ready, but i kept you around thinking you’d get it that i liked you too, then when i waited two weeks and got nothing, i moved on.. a bit fast which is why i’m upset with myself but.. it doesn’t change how much i felt..” he let go of the other with a sigh. “though also.. my own fucking fears stopped me.. cause i was..” he choked up some, looking down to the ground, not wanting to be seen as weak. “i was falling in love.. which made when you didn’t come hurt more.. i don’t love easily.. so.. it meant a fuck ton.. like.. i could have married you in a few years easily and not looked back.. but yes.. i’m still an ass, but you’re not innocent either, nick.” sniffling some before looking back up at the taller man. “don’t forgive me never see me.. but.. yet, i forgive you for never coming.. and i forgive you if i miss the show tonight cause i had to see you again..”

Nick: Looking down at the ground, “You know why I didn’t come over that night?” he started, “Because when you didn’t answer me after tour at your place, I thought all I was to you was a quick fuck. When I wanted more or asked for more, you shrugged it off, it seems.” Nick said as the tears rolled down his face, still looking at the ground. “Leave Awsten, it’s not my fault if you miss your show tonight.” he said trying to walk away again. “I don’t want to see you again.” Nick finished, hoping that he made it clear to Awsten how hurt he was. “I won’t forgive you because you forgave me, no one hurt me like you did. I felt lead on, and I can’t forgive you for playing with my feelings like that.” Nick said as more tears rolled down his face.

NEW SHIT FROM CHATZY

awsten: looking at nick for a moment, his sadness quickly changing to anger as he hit the wall next to the actor hard enough to cause a hole. a few of his rings getting damaged, as well as his fingers they were pushed into. “FUCKING STOP, NICHOLAS JOHN ROBINSON!” he yelled for a moment before taking a deep breathe. “no.. it’s cause you’re fucking impatient, it’s because you can’t understand if i wasn’t fucking ready and i actually fucking liked you.. i damn near fell in fucking love with you. chances are, i’d have married you by like christmas, easily.. but you didn’t show up, don’t put that shit on me cause i wasn’t ready, don’t you fucking dare..”  the red-haired musician’s heterochromic eyes started getting watery again as he started to walk away past the other before freezing for a moment. “oh trust me.. you’ll be haunted by me easily.. trying to make me feel worse and not owning your shit too, you won’t forgive because you’re not the guy i was into.. so clearly i dodged a fucking bullet..” the texan spoke with pain laced within his voice, sniffling some while walking away enough to see andy glancing at him curiously, a look of confusion present on the distance musician, before awsten turned back on his heel to nick. “..i dare you to date my friend and think you’ll escape me though.. you sadly won’t, it’s pointless.. i felt bad for moving on, but you never came..”  the singer reminded again, slowly walking up and gently placed something in nick’s pocket. it was a small photo album of pictures of them from tour and name necklaces for them. “..merry early fuckin’ christmas.. i came here willing to miss cause i care, i still feel for you and being hurt is one thing.. but holding shit over my head will make it harder for both of us. i came so we could both move on and start fresh together, nick.. but whatever..” he sat down between the front and backstage areas with a sigh, finally allowing tears to fall. “..it hurt when you didn’t come.. i didn’t say yes when you asked and asked.. i felt so fucking shitty you did so.. i wanted you to come like i asked, i had something for you.. so how are you this hurt or feeling like a fuck.. if you never came to see..” wiping his eyes before closing them with another sigh, knowing more tears might come anyway. “..i had even asked your family how’d they’d feel if i dated and married their son.. i had everything ready for you.. but this is all my fault, huh?”

Nick: Looking at the photo album Awsten put in his pocket, "Why did you get these?" he said in a quivering voice sitting next to the singer. "Fine Awsten, you're right." he admitted as tears rolled down his cheeks. "I'm sorry I didn't come over that night. I just thought that it'd be all glossed over again and I'd be hurt you didn't answer again." looking down at the album and necklaces, "I don't deserve these, take them. If you're not gonna take them both, just take a necklace." the actor said handing him one of them. "Awsten, I fell for you harder than I have anyone else before, and not coming was a hard decision. I didn't want to be hurt more than I already was." wiping his eyes, "Why did you do all of that? Why didn't you come over to ask me? It's a two way street. I'm not perfect, but you could've asked too." As the tears rolled down his face again, "I'm hurt because when I'd ask, you'd want to fuck and never even acknowleged that I asked you to be my boyfriend. I guess it's not completely your fault, some is mine I guess." Nick finished as he wiped the tears from his eyes once again.

awsten: looking up at nick, from where he sat on the ground, sniffling some before managing a slight yet weak little smile, "i wanted to keep our memories.. i cared more than i showed because.. not just not being ready and the newness of men but.. last guy i was with it lasted a summer and it was a bit hard, honestly and.. i knew if anything like that happened with us.. it'd be a lot worse on me and.. maybe you too," he spoke before seeing the actor sitting next to him, gently placing his head on the other's shoulder. moving his hand some to gently take the other's hand within his own, holding it tightly and firmly. "i think.. we both hurt ourselves and couldn't face it but.. maybe not even we were ready for us so maybe.. it's better this way," he spoke, the singer looking briefly towards andy, who was smiling laughing and playing with his band mates. surely he'd be better for nick before looking back to the actor the best he could with his head still on the taller man's shoulder, glancing down at what he gave him, before grabbing the necklaces from him, gently untangling the chains to give nick one that said 'awsten' and keeping the one that said 'nick'. "keep that one and the photo album.. we might not be a couple.. but our connection and story isn't over.. just changed.. for the better, i believe." for a moment, awsten sat silently listening before giving a slow nod, sniffling again and trying not to try yet again not to cry. he hated seeming weak in front of anyone. "i never meant to hurt you.. but that's why i said i forgive you.. you hurt me too and out of probably your own pain.. i deserved it and i came hoping.. we could move past it together with new people.." the red haired male picked his head up from the other, looking at him with hurt in his heterochromic eyes before gently moving in to kiss the younger man's cheek. "i should have but.. it wasn't just fucking to me, it was.. more. everything was. i didn't want to be your boyfriend.. it's why i did more and if you came.. i was going to ask but.. you'll always have my heart nick.. even if we're going to be with others now." taking his hand back finally glancing at the necklace in his hand. "if you're still done with me.. i get it, but i will always love you in some way.. in fact.. if we're single in the next like.. five years, let's say fuck it and elope in vegas."

Nick: Gripping Awstens hand in his, "I guess it's better like this for now." looking down at the necklace that had the singers name engraved on it. Nick now knew that the relationship between them had completely changed. "I guess we're not ready for us, as much as we both wanted it." He put the necklace on, "I'll always wear this, and I'll keep the photo album somewhere safe so I don't lose it." Looking over at the singer, "Once Andy is done with tour, would you and Miley like to go on a double date? My treat, as an 'I'm sorry' for this." Looking over at Andy with his eyes red from crying. "Awsten, you should go. You have a show to do soon. We can catch up after, alright?" Nick said kissing the singer on the cheek and grabbing his hand.

awsten: despite saying he'd miss his show tonight, he didn't want to, so the red haired musician fixed his hair as best he could, adjusted his slightly damaged rings before taking the necklace with the actor's name on it and placing it on his keys with a soft smile on his lips, gently placing his hand on nick's cheek as he looked into the others soft brown eyes all red and puffy from crying but still bringing a sense of joy and pride to the singer. "hey.. we'll be okay.. especially if andy invited you out.. i mean.. he's already better for you than i was," he laughed some before gently standing up with the actor, hand in hand. "okay.. just know.. no matter what happens i want you by my side. award shows, marriage, events, anything.. you're my right hand man.. my soulmate," awsten said gently walking out from backstage to where the band was, letting nick go back to where he was when the waterparks frontman first saw him. "we can double date whenever you two are ready.. maybe next month sometime.. i'll see you soon, alright?" a soft weak smile came to him again before glancing briefly to andy again. "have fun with your new better guy.. i'll try not to make a fool out of my self with miley.. clearly i'm good at fucking up in relationships.." he chuckled again. "i almost proposed to you on a high and now.. i'm thinking to tell her i love her.. i'm lovesick and a bit insane," he muttered, fidgeting with his rings.

Nick: Happy that Awsten came and talked to him, Nick looked at the singer, "I know... I'm sorry I didn't come over that night." He said looking into the singers eyes, "I wouldn't say he's better, but I really like him." He stood up with the singer, "Alright, I can do that for you. Just give me a call and I'll be there as soon as I can." the actor said with a smile. Nick looked at the singer, eyes still red and puffy, "In 5 years? Vegas and eloping, if all else fails us." the actor said with a smile. "I think I can talk Andy into doing a double date. It won't take much." Watching the red head leave the stage area, "I'll see you sooner than you'll expect, bud. But don't say that, you're perfectly amazing in your own right, Awsten. You didn't fuck it up, I did because I should've come over. But that's behind us, right?" Nick asked with a smile. "Do you really love her though, Awsten? If you do, say it, but otherwise, don't. I care about you almost more than anything, and I don't want to see you hurt again." the brown haired actor said as he hugged Awsten goodbye. "Break a leg tonight, I know you'll need it." starting to cry again at the thought of him leaving.

awsten: folding his arms over his chest glancing down for a moment to think over everything said and that had happened between the two. "maybe.. it's possible we weren't ready. i mean.. you seem better with andy and.. who knows if we'd be happy together right now if we rushed into all of that.." he admitted before smiling softly to himself. the thought of miley really did make him smile and his heart race some. "i mean.. it's nice to have a back up but.. let's hope it doesn't come to that.. we moved to fast, felt too fast and this feels right. i think i was on that high with you, we didn't fully know each other to be completely happy together.. with miley.. i know her and i'm really crazy about her.. so just promise you'll get to know andy before getting too serious, alright?" awsten asked with a slight chuckle, looking to the actor before letting out a sigh, glancing down at his boots. "honestly.. i really do love her. we connect well and i'd be lost with out her.. i'm planning to tell her.." the musician hugged his friend back, kissing his cheek again before going to leave so he could make his show that night.