LAY ME DOWN. chapter thirteen excerpt. 293 words. unedited. featuring: fiver, meaning well, tries to talk to pallas about [REDACTED SPOILERS REDACTED] and it going… poorly. some very mild violence. pallas being possibly the most maladjusted person under the sun.

“Are you trying to say,” they make their voice as cold as possible. Clench their fists to hide the shaking. “That it wasn’t my fault?” Fiver blinks. Once. Twice. “Oh. Oh god no. Nothing like that.” He takes a step forward. Pallas takes a step back and curses themself for allowing the weakness, for the fear bubbling like black tar in their throat. Fiver's voice is low and gentle and exhausted, like he’s trying to coax an injured animal, hissing and spitting, from under a cabinet. Every cell in their body sparks with buzzing fight-or-flight warning. Danger! Danger! Trap! “I’m saying that you’re a kid, and it was horrible,” in this light more than ever it’s clear just how much older he is. Pallas had never quite comprehended it before now. It had never mattered before now. “And I am so, so sorry.” Twenty-five is a whole universe away from seventeen. They hate him hate him hate him. They’re going to melt his eyes in their sockets. They’re going to make him bleed. Fiver takes another careful step forward, pausing to see whether Pallas flinches back or not. When they don’t his hand moves slowly through the air, as if to touch them. Pallas promptly bites it. Hard. When he starts backwards, swearing, they don’t even feel a flash of satisfaction.  Why did I do that? They could’ve just moved away. They could’ve just burst his heart and killed him here and now. But he’s torn something loose in them, something feral and small and scared. The space behind their eyes is burning and there’s no hiding the trembling now, the heart hammering frantically in their chest. They need to get out of here. They need to get out of here right now. 

short little thing from a scene i just finished! pour one out for fiver my man is trying SO fucking hard.

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