Okay, I knew that Padre Damaso was an asshole, but the fact that he didn't even hide his asshole-ness really drives home the point that he's so full of himself. The guy just lost his father and doesn't know what happened to him and he straight up just angrily told him off about mistaking him as his father's friend? He's not even hiding it

Ngl, the biggest surprise I got from Noli was finding out that Padre Damaso actually has a heart (somewhere)

Bakit?

Isang salita, isang tanong ang gumugulo sa aking isipan. 

Bakit humantong sa ganito ang buhay ko? Bakit ako nag-iisa at nagdurusa? 

Ako ay isinilang na walang alam tungkol sa totoo kong pagkatao, pinuno ng pagmamahal, pinag-aral, tinuruan kung paano maging isang huwarang babae na dapat tularan ng ibang dalaga, at upang maging karapat-dapat na asawa para sa aking nag-iisang mahal. Ang aking irog na si Crisostomo, wala akong hinangad kundi ang makasal sa kanya, maging katuwang niya habang unti-unti niyang tinutupad ang mga pangarap niya para sa bayan, bumuo ng pamilya, at tumandang magkasama. 

Ngunit sa isang iglap, nawala ang lahat…

Tila ang lahat ng iyon ay isang magandang panaginip na naglaho nang ako’y magising sa masakit na katotohanan. Na ako’y hindi bunga ng pagmamahalan ng aking mga magulang, kundi ng pagnanasa ng isang taong itinuring kong pangalawang ama, na ako’y matagal nang bilanggo at pinatatahimik ng mga taong akala ko’y naghahangad lamang ng mabuti para sa akin, na ang mga taong akala ng lahat ay banal na sugo ng Panginoon, ay siya palang mga tunay na mga makasalanan, na siya ring nagwasak at pumaslang kay Crisostomo. 

At ang pinakamasakit ay wala akong nagawa upang sagipin siya. 

Hanggang sa kanyang kamatayan ay pinili kong ingatan ang pagmamahal na inalay ni Ibarra sa akin, ito na lamang ang magagawa ko upang ipaglaban siya at ang aming pag-iibigan. Kung hindi rin siya ang aking magiging kabiyak ay mabuti pang magpakasal na lamang ako sa Panginoon, at igugol ang buhay ko sa paglilingkod sa Kanya kahit na tutol ang tunay kong ama. Hindi ako nagpatinag sa kabila ng kanyang pagmamakaawa, kahit ang kinilala kong ama, at ang tiya Isabel ay wala ring nagawa. Pinili kong manirahan sa tahanan ng Diyos, sa paniniwalang makakamtan ko ang paghilom at katahimikan na aking inaasam sa Kanyang piling. 

Ngunit mali ako, nagkamali ako…

Sapagkat ang lugar na inaasahan kong magiging kaligtasan ko ay siya palang maghahatid sa akin sa impyernong ito! Dahil dito ko nasilayan ang tunay na anyo ng isang demonyo! Wala siyang pangil o sungay, isa siyang taong nagbabanal-banalan, nagmimisa, at nagtuturo ng mga aral ng Diyos. Ngunit ang kanyang ugali at gawi ay taliwas sa sinasabi ng Bibliya, tunay siyang kasuklam-suklam! At habang niyuyurakan niya ang aking dangal, ay sumagi sa isip ko ang aking masaya at tila perkpektong buhay noon, ang aking papá at tiya na nagmahal at nag-aruga sa akin, ang aking mga amiga na lagi kong kasa-kasama mula pagkabata. Si Crisostomo na nag-alay ng dalisay na pagmamahal at paggalang sa akin. At si Klay, ang estrangherang nagturo sa akin na tumayo sa sarili kong mga paa, ang babaeng nagpakita sa akin ng tunay na halaga at kakayahan ng isang babae. Higit sa lahat, ang aking sarili na parang kandilang unti-unting nauupos habang isa-isang binabawi sa akin ang aking kaligayahan, lakas, at natitirang pag-asa.

Akala ko, ang pagkamatay ni Crisostomo ang pinakamasakit na nangyari sa buhay ko. Na akala ko'y naubos na ang natitira kong luha sa pagkawala ng aking pinakamamahal. May mas isasakit pa pala...

At habangbuhay ko itong tatangisan...

Maraming katanungan ang naglalaro sa isip ko, ito ba ay parusa ng langit dahil sa kalapastanganang ginawa ng aking tunay na ama sa aking ina? Ako ba ang naging kabayaran sa lahat ng hinagpis na dinanas ni mamá noong siya ay nabubuhay pa? Ako ba ay kanyang isinumpa dahil sa kanyang matinding galit?

Aking Ina, bakit pinabayaan mo ako't isinadlak sa matinding pagdurusa? Ano’t tila ako ay iyong tinalikuran at kinalimutan? Bakit hinayaan mong danasin ko ang kaparusahang higit pa sa kamatayan? 

Bakit ako Ina? Bakit?

-Ang Hinagpis ni Maria Clara (sa panulat ni: Iris)

Mula sa epilogo ng Noli Me Tangere ni Dr. Jose Rizal na pinagbasehan ng palabas na Maria Clara at Ibarra. Ang dalawang ito naman ang siyang aking naging inspirasyon at basehan upang maisulat ang kathang ito. 

*

A/N: It's my first time writing a 99.99% tagalog fanfic. Mej nag nosebleed lang ako ng very slight but I’m so proud that I was able to write this. Obviously this is more of an expounded version of Maria Clara’s anguish after Padre Salvi violated her (and just before her breakdown), I wish she slit that asshole of a priest’s throat though, like seriously he doesn’t deserve to live. I have watched a video somewhere saying that the epilogue of Noli was based on the ill fate of a nun who was raped by a priest and was seen screaming and crying at the kampanaryo...or something like that. Oh and the "Ina" Maria was referring to on the last part was the Blessed Virgin Mary in case you're wondering.

Anyhoo, I feel sad that this show is going to end in 4 weeks, and idk how they are going to pull-off the story of El Filibusterismo in such a short amount of time, but I’m wishing the whole MCI team the best. 

Not enough chicken in his soup 😔

surprise surprise, les mis letters has got me Thinking about Catholicism again!

Now that I'm having some Noli Me/El Fili brainrot, I'm gonna draw Crisostomo Ibarra and Simoun cause I love my boi here 👉👈💖

I don't know why, but everytime I read Noli Me Tangere I just keep imagining Padre Sibyla as a twink and Padre Damaso as a man that's built like Santa Claus.

Teleseryes, leitmotifs, and my obsession with things happening in the background

Ngayong taon lang ulit ako nagsimulang sumubaybay sa teleserye. Dalawa ang pinapanood ko ngayon: Darna at Maria Clara at Ibarra. Darna has a leitmotif for Valentina, and Maria Clara at Ibarra appears to have one for Padre Salvi—posibleng para sa iba pa, pero distracted pa ako sa ibang details until I just few episodes ago. Ang malinaw sa akin sa ngayon ay gusto kong marinig ang full recording ng themes nila. Napapaisip tuloy ako kung may mga inilalabas bang OST para sa mga teleserye (bukod sa theme songs mismo).

Sa Darna, mukhang si Valentina lang ang meron. Si Darna mismo, meron dapat, kaso ang inconsistent sila e; 'yung opening theme ba dapat ang leitmotif niya, or 'yung Patuloy Lang ang Lipad? I prefer the former as a leitmotif, though, kasi mas pang-superhero talaga 'yun.

Malamang sa malamang, mas pinag-iisipan ko pa itong Darna kaysa mismong si  /ˈdʒeɪ ˈɑːr ˈbiː/, but, eh. Gusto ko lang sabihing dapat may Custodio household leitmotif; pwedeng gamitin 'yung BGM noong unang bumisita si Regina sa bahay ng mga Custodio. And while we're at it, why not have leitmotifs for Narda and Regina? Mainam siguro kung malapit-lapit sa theme music ng alter ego nila, pero distinct enough to be considered a different piece. Meanwhile, gusto kong malaman kung may letmotifs din ang ibang characters sa MCI. Meron naman yata, hindi ko lang napansin pa. I'll check kung mayroon sina Ibarra, Maria Clara, at Damaso. Aabangan ko rin kung mayroon si Elias. Ang sigurado ko lang ay mayroon si Padre Salvi and it's so recognizable. I checked kung shared ba 'yung music na 'yon kay Padre Damaso (making it a prayle letimotif instead), pero mukhang hindi naman. Kung hindi ako nagkakamali, sa episode 10 ng MCI nagsimula ang paggamit sa Salvi letimotif, nang magkita sina Ibarra at Salvi. Another instance na ginamit ito ay sa episode 23 noong "nangumpisal" si Klay kay Salvi. I admit, late kong napansin na may leitmotif si Salvi, sa episode 37 na nang biglang dumalaw si Salvi habang nag-uusap sina Maria Clara at Ibarra tungkol sa gagawing pagtitipon; I believe dito rin pinakamatagal tumugtog ang Salvi letmotif. Kapag nainip ako, babalikan ko ang previous episodes ng MCI to check kung may iba pang leitmotif, at aabangan ko rin kung magkakaroon si Elias. As of writing, hindi ko pa napanood ang episode na base sa Elias at Salome.

Anyway, hindi talaga ako musically inclined. Malimit lang mag-fixate sa details. Kaya gudlak na lang sa akin sa pag-spot sa mga recurring pieces.

Hello! So today is currently Rizal Day in the Philippines and I wanted to share this little comic I made for our Rizal class a year ago. The prompt was the "ideal filipino woman" based on Rizal's "Letter to the Women of Malolos". For those not in the know, Rizal is the Philippine National Hero.

I took some relevant quotations from that letter and placed it in the perspective of an alternate Pia Alba, a character from Noli Me Tangere.

I took some relevant quotations from that letter and placed it in the perspective of an alternate Pia Alba, a character from Noli Me Tangere. In the original story, she withered away after being taken advantage of by Padre Damaso, inevitably dying after giving birth to Maria Clara. The concept for this comic piece came from me and my boyfriend's conclusion: if the world Pia Alba had lived in prioritized moral good derived from rational thinking and passed that strength onto her child, then maybe things wouldn't have ended as badly as they had.

wow so cool shadow puppetry that showcases filipino culture... WHY DID THEY GIVE PADRE DAMASO BISEXUAL LIGHTING

Canon Padre Damaso description:

Putting this here because literally most artistic renditions of him don't portray him right like I get that he's a horrible dude but he is canonically probably fit/buff since he's said to have a "herculean build".

Heck there is some commentary on how Damaso, who is a disgusting human being and absolute hypocrite, could be seen as somewhat conventionally attractive.

It's actually pretty important in most of Rizal's work to highlight this irony with what society expects vs. the reality of society and constantly portraying Damaso as what is essentially a "fat friar" stereotype takes away on how those with power whether it be actually authoritative in nature like being leaders (whether in politics, religion, or other organizations), or social (whether it be based on race, class, gender, or even just plain attractiveness) take advantage of those who are seen as lesser.

Of course, Padre Damaso is obviously a creep and most people understand that he abused his power as a community leader in order to harm people, but taking away the fact that he was most likely also seen as respectable and astute and just making him "old and fat" doesn't actually help. (Besides the obvious fatphobia here that Rizal genuinely and intentionally did not put in his work).

Maria Clara at Ibarra: Isang Obra

You’ve done it again, GMA. KUDOS. Lemme just say this. I am one full-blooded Kapamilya. But when I was younger, I remember watching and being obsessed with Mulawin, Majika, and especially the original 2006 Encantadia. Feeling ko forte talaga ng GMA ang “Telefantasya” genre. And now, another timely gem has been created. Isang napakagandang proyekto, GMA. Ngayon na lamang muli napakapanood ng serye na likha ninyo, and I’m really glad I did. 🫶🏻

Why I LOVE this teleserye??! Ang paksa ng drama ay napapanahon at edukasyonal para sa ating lahat. Liban sa kilig at mga nakakatuwang hirit, parang isang pagbabalik-tanaw at pagpapaalala sa mga nakalipas na panahon. Also, casting was SPOT ON!!! Barbie was perfect for the role, Klay (sobrang kaaliw! #feminism #notooppression besh). The perfect representation of what a Pinoy youth should be now. Crisostomo Ibarra giving me extra oppa vibez. Sa pagkakatanda ko super crush ko na before si Dennis Trillo sa Majika pero omg, tinatangi ko po kayo ginoo (ipagpatawad mo, Ate Jen hihi). The super talented Julie Ann as Maria Clara was surprising for me. ‘Twas actually unbeknownst to me that she can act like this. I’m amazed! I know she sings, she dances, and she can act too? (sige ipinapaubaya ko na talaga si Rayver ahahaha). Sa totoo lang, nahihirapan na ko pag nakikita ko silang umiiyak ni Barbie. I’m like, unli luha lang mga amiga? 🙌🏼 Also, I am now understanding why David Licauco has everyone in his clutches. (yung kaibigan ko, pipilahan ka talaga eh. see you soon kapag makakapaglamierda kami jan sa maynila hahaha). Fidel, isa kang tunay at tapat na amigo. Talk about character development, right? 🥲

Padre Salvi, Padre Damaso, pinakulo niyo po ang aking dugo, pinabilis ninyo ang tibok ng aking puso sa inis at galit. It’s my first time seeing Juancho Triviño as an actor. I know I knew him from somewhere, so ayun hubby nga pala siya ni Joyce Pring. He fits the role of PS to a tee! The amount of hate and disgust for the character just showed his effective acting. Of course, you would expect greatness with the likes of Mr. Tirso Cruz III, but I must say these younger actors leveled up too.

Andrea Torres as Sisa?! Speechless. 👏🏻 Dasurv ng award at recognition sa binigay niya dito. And, it is always a delight to see Rocco Nacino. The perfect Elias. Mahilig talaga ako sa chinito maputi ganyan pero for some reason, I crush you po.🫶🏻 (pasintabi rin kay mareng Mel wew?).

All in all, sobrang naaliw at napasaya ako ng kwentong ito. Sana ay makalikha pa po kayo ng mga proyektong katulad nito. Dinggin niyo kami! ✊🏼😉 Viva Las Filipinas!! 🇵🇭 Sana nga ay tuluyan na tayong makalaya. 🙏🏼

Tawang tawa ako dun sa nagshiship kay maria clara at padre damaso sa live chat e diba magtatay silaaaa 😭😭😭

Taking a brief detour from prompt month into- oH NO AAAAAAAA

[falls off a cliff directly into a new media]

7, 9, 14, 35?

7. favorite verse?

uasdjfbadsjh this one's hard.... hmmmm.... I'll go with It's No Game (Pt. 1) by David Bowie

Documentaries on refugees Couples 'gainst the target You throw a rock against the road And it breaks into pieces Draw the blinds on yesterday And it's all so much scarier Put a bullet in my brain And it makes all the papers

It's also like. the backing track that adds to this. Gonna be honest I love a lot of Bowie songs cause of the guitar

9. favorite chorus?

At pambihira Ang laki mong tanga Ipaghahanda ka pa namin ng tinola Lunurin natin silang lahat

Antidisestablishmentarianism by Dasu

It was a choice between this and Nakakapagpabagabag so I flipped a coin and got this one. I love Dasu songs so much aaadashssdh

If it was Nakakapagpabagabag it would've been

Sinabihan na kitang tumakbo papalayo sa mundong Nakakapagpabagabag Pinilit kong sagipin ang mga naliligaw sa dilim Nakakapagpabagabag

OH and also Curses by The Crane Wives but honestly those two are probs higher up for me. I'm gonna get into The Last Supper from JCS later cause fhasdkjfjd (and also idrk if the apostles' lines are considered chorus? idk)

14. most clever lyric?

Ipaghahanda ka pa namin ng tinola -Antidisestablishmentarianism by Dasu

The song in my interpretation is about corruption and injustice in media/politics and this tinola line is referencing this moment in Noli Me Tangere where Padre Damaso is served Tinola and asijdhidjfufhj

Also kind of just anything from Feast or Famine from the Starkid Black Friday musical. I love critiques on capitalism and consumerism and yes the cut song from the Lorax "Biggering" is also in the same spot

OH WAIT HANG ON JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR. okay so there's parts from Heaven On Their Minds that make me go Fucking Insane and then just. the breaking of the bread and then Jesus's freakout and then the following fight between him and Judas AND THEN ALSO JUST THE APOSTLES IN THE CHORUS and then also Gethsemane cause sahdlf

okay so

And all the good you've done Will soon get swept away. You've begun to matter more Than the things you say. -Heaven on Their Minds

Judas is talking about Jesus and about how his followers care only about heaven and their salvation and not about the teachings AND THIS SONG WAS WRITTEN IN THE SEVENTIES. IT STILL APPLIES TODAY. AND PROBABLY WILL APPLY FOR HOWEVER LONG CHRISTIANITY EXISTS

Then when we retire, we can write the Gospels So they'll still talk about us when we've died. -The Last Supper

It's the last line in the Apostles' verse and it also combines with the slight variation after Jesus and Judas have their little fight

What's that in the bread? It's gone to my head

That line happens a little earlier in the apostles' verse but if you look at the full lyrics/listen to it you'll see what I mean. The song implies that Jesus' followers' motives were more selfish than they portrayed it as and the What's that in the bread its gone to my head line ALSO accentuates this cause the apostles are DRUNK and were told they just ate the flesh and drank the blood of the Son of God

I wanna get more but I am. oufudghug thoughts thoughts thoughts

35. song that made you tear up a bit/gave you the chills/induced any other similar emotional reaction in you when you first listened to it?

Caught A Ghost's version of In The Pines! I found it on spotify while looking for the version that was used in that one SCP Confinement video (link here) and I hpnestly love it??? definitely more but that's the one on my head rn

DEPAYN MARIA CLARA?

In my own words. ni Sistemang Kulot Si Maria Clara ay isa sa mga pangunahing tauhan sa walang kamatayang mga nobela ni Gat Jose Rizal, Ang Noli Me Tangere at El Filibusterismo. Siya ang kasintahan ni Jose Crisostomo Ibarra na kalaonay naging ang mag-aalahas na si Simoun. Siya ang anak ni Padre Damaso at Pia Alba bagamat siya ay kinupkop ni Kapitan Tiyago. History 5, naalala mo pa Ineng at Dong?…

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