#or people casually mentioning they live in places with multiple gay clubs and gsas and shit like that | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ankerias · 2 years

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i dont know how to word this in a smarter less whiny way but theres such a specific grief that comes with growing up without friends let alone other gay or trans ones and growing up undesirable to anyone who isnt a chaser thrice your age and unable to transition just For The Foreseeable Future and then finding out people generally get to experience atleast one of them and do not trust you if you havent as well

#doubly when you get like brief chances at meeting people like that & then people dont know how to approach you because of all that #idk god i cant stop thinking about stories of people being met with love at prides because they were alone and looked lost & comparing it #to finally getting to go to one pride and spending the majority of it crying alone because everyone else had their friends #or people casually mentioning they live in places with multiple gay clubs and gsas and shit like that #i don’t know. i wish i had the choice of an ‘embarrassing gsa’ over what ive had to do just to talk to other gay people in this county #& it’s not that i don’t try to make the first move even when it’s a nightmare it’s that people register i’m Actually Weird #And Lonely And Can’t Mask Autism and lose patience #& i don’t know how i’m supposed to convince myself that’s not on me because someone who hasn’t really gotten to have normal conversations #isn’t optimal to talk to even if they’re ‘easy to talk to’#i don’t know. i don’t think about other people like this but i don’t know if that’s also weird if people generally seem to

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