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#or my aunt talk about how she's taking insulin to lose weight
ushiwhacka · 1 year
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i don't mean to be controversial by saying this because, yes, men are the main perpetrators of the patriarchy and body standards. but women also can and do enforce these same standards and uphold the patriarchy. at some point you just have to take some personal responsibility and break thei cycle or else we're always going to be stuck here.
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si-cucumber · 4 years
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So tonight I got fat shamed by my family.
(rant below)
So while we were in the car tonight, my dad had my aunt on speakerphone. She didn’t know I was around and proceeded to tell my dad how fat I was and that I needed to “take better care of myself.” Just out of nowhere. My aunt lives out of state and I see her twice a year. She knows nothing of my health or anything, just how I look. She has decided that because I look fat, I must be disgusting and lazy and unhealthy. 
Here’s the thing. For the first time in my entire 25 years, I am not gaining weight. I am losing and maintaining a constant weight. This was never a possibility for me before. Ever since puberty, my PCOS has caused me to gain weight. Then for about 6 years, I suffered from binge eating disorder and gained even more weight. For the past year and half/two years I have lost weight, stopped binging, and have maintained the same weight. My heart is healthy, my blood pressure and cholesterol are great, my blood sugar is always normal. I am the most active I’ve ever been. Yes, I have problems caused by my other disorders, but for the most part? I’m surprisingly healthy and my weight really doesn’t impact my daily functioning or health all that much.
But a stranger on the street doesn’t see that. My family doesn’t see that progress. They see a person who is big and therefore, something is wrong. Fuck it, everyone in my family is big. It’s just our natural body type. But still, it must be something wrong with me.  My family has been making fun of my weight since I was 4. So much so that I have blocked out most of these incidents from my memory. But it never mattered. All that progress, battling a disease that hinders me from losing weight and fucks with my insulin and hormones, it doesn’t matter to them. They see a fat person, so they make their judgments. 
Maybe it’s my severe self-loathing talking, but it just feels like it’s kinda hopeless. All this progress, all these good things, and I have nothing to show for it because no one will ever see me as more than just someone who is fat. It’s just...really disheartening and I don’t know how to deal with this hopelessness.
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whybodywhy · 2 years
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A list of things I’ve remembered people saying about my body:
1. My father two things. Once in 4th grade I made a noise when I straightened up from bending over while working with him on a project (building an Iroquois structure with bark and twine) and he told me my back hurt because I was obese. When out bowling he said my form was bad because I was so fat my arms couldn’t be straight enough to aim.
2. My uncle bought me diet books, mostly about fasting. He told me I would have much better sex if I were skinny and to lose weight so I could enjoy sleeping with people in my twenties. He died at 50 from diabetes complications, having refused to take insulin because it would make him gain weight.
3. My mother, innumerable comments. She talked about everyone’s body non stop including how much she hated hers which was much smaller than mine. She talked about my aunt. She made me take pictures once immediately after an illness because it was the skinniest id looked. She put out bowls of mnms and told me to eat as many as I wanted to learn my hunger cues, then took away the bowl after 3 days. She locked the pantry door when I was in my tweens. She promised me clothes, trips, whatever I wanted if I lost weight (and made me weigh myself in front of her on a weekly basis).
4. A boy in 3rd grade called me “fat lady in the pink dress.” It had been my favorite dress.
5. A teacher in 8th grade Spanish class (might have been 7th) had us try on various clothes and talk about them with new vocabulary. A vest was way too small on me and I really struggled to get out of it and she apologized to me saying “I thought it would be too big on everybody.”
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nordness · 7 years
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                   [ LITTLE ME by Little Mix softly playing in the background ]
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introducin’ MARGO “ARO” NORDNESS
hola, sky back @ it again with another charrie !! ( i play these nerds: @elvyras​ & @horrcrphile​ ). warning, i love my lil snowflake v much & yeah, ik this is hella long bahEE. ALSO, i'm v nervous abt actually bothering & boring people, so it would be hella appreciated if you came to me for plotties
meet margo nordness, who happens to hate her name, but instead of having her friends call her marg or argo or whatever, they call her A R O. well … that’s surely what they’d call her if she had any. anyway
her parents met during a summer festival, quickly & thoughtlessly engaging in a fling, a fling that turned into a seemingly serious relationship. after only five months of dating, they got married. her mother was a nurse & her father was a mechanic. they were struggling financially, but a bigger problem was her father’s unreasonable jealousy. he’d forbid her mom to wear skirts & dresses, for example. almost exactly a year after their wedding, aro’s mom found out she was pregnant. she shared the news with her husband, hoping he’d be as happy as she was, but no. he ordered her to get an abortion, which she refused. they got into a heated fight, he hit her & then left. later that night he showed up drunk as fuck, packed his bags & just like that he was gone.
they got a divorce & aro’s mom moved back in with aro’s grandparents, who helped her through her pregnancy, along with aro’s uncle & his family ( she has two cousins who are like siblings to her !! )
you think you’ve seen the last of aro’s dad ?? fuck no ! when she was two years old, he showed up & tried to take her away from her mom, become her legal guardian instead
for years the two were fighting over the poor child, who had to go to different psychologist so that they’d figure out her feelings, whether she liked living with her mom, whether she missed her dad and would prefer living with him instead, whether she was depressed & so on. one time they asked her to draw her family & she drew her mom, grandparents, uncle & aunt and the two cousins. no father.
eventually her dad backed the fuck away, but he was allowed to see aro on weekends and such. she hated that. she’d always bawl her eyes out when she had to go see him. she didn’t know why, she simply hated the thought of him.
later they discovered that he never truly wanted aro for himself, that he was solely trying to reach out to her mother by using her as an excuse ?? like, he wanted to get back together with her & didn’t really care about the kid. but anyway, she hasn’t heard anything from him ever since she was 15. he simply vanished, so he’s out of the picture now.
aro’s always been a good kid !! golden !! everyone knew she was THE favourite grandchild among the three, perhaps because she was the youngest & the one who had had the most problems in her life
she’s always been good at school. a straight a student. her social skills, though ? awful. she was that shy, chubby kid who always got good grades. the kind that only hung out with other quiet kids & only during school hours. she had a couple of neighbourhood kids that she played with, however. AT HOME, though, it was like she was a different child. the loudest, happiest.
kids called her fatty & would only talk to her when they wanted to copy her homework ?? she was a complete loser in their eyes, painfully boring. they bullied her so fuckin much, she would always cry alone in her room, but tell her mom that she had the best time in school
that whole thing stuck with her til high school. in high school she was invisible. & while every other girl blossomed, she remained the same. baby face, struggling with weight. dating. while everyone was kissing and losing virginity, she had tragic crushes. her crushes would last for years. in high school, she had a crush on one of the popular guys, but they only talked, like, once. but no. he was perfect in her eyes. nothing ever happened between them, though
she had three best friends in school !! three quiet girls !! they were so different, but everyone viewed them as the same. they’re still best friends, even though they’re going to different colleges.
about the whole weight thing. aro hates food, she used to live on sweet things. she couldn’t understand why she had a bigger tummy & chubby cheeks. she was very insecure. after a series of tragic events ( her grandparents passing & her uncle shockingly dying as well - this is already too long, m not gonna write every lil detail ), she lost her period for four months. after going to 10 doctors, they found out she has hashimoto’s thyroiditis & insulin resistance. LONG STORY SHORT, she’s fine, she just needs to take her meds, exercise a lot, eat healthy ( gross ), avoid SUGAR & use stevia products instead ( which is the worst thing for her ), drink hella water & only a glass of wine now & then and she should be fine. of course, she cheats when it comes to sweets and alcohol, sometimes skips meals. BUT with this new lifestyle, her body started functioning normally & during the summer after high school ended, she got a rocking body & strenghtened mentally
even though her mom ( a nurse ) advised her against it, she’s going to med school now & wants to become a psychiatrist !! she hopes it will help her understand herself, her father’s choices, & help other people live better.
when i said that she wants to understand herself, i meant her slight anxiety issues + she thinks she’s bipolar ?? she thinks. she’s afraid to talk to anyone about it, but the symptoms are there
she’s more sociable now !! hopes people will burn the old images of her from their mind
she’s a demigirl with she/they pronouns & she honestly has no idea what her sexual orientation is ,,, like i said, she’s never been with anyone.
WANTED CONNECTIONS:
one or both of her cousins !! they’re both older than her & they all grew up together. they know she’s tiny & fragile, so they’ve always protected her & let her hang out with them and their friends & such. maybe one of them teases her a lot in order to make her stronger. idk
neighbourhood friends: a couple of kids who’d always go out and play hide & seek, play with a ball, run around, be careless together. aro would always forget about her worries when she was around them. perhaps they drifted apart slightly, but reconnecting after a few years would be amazing
kids who bullied her
high school best friends
roommate(s) !!
a guy she was desperately in love with ( or, she was desperately in love with the idea of him ), but they only talked once. mMmmMmm ,, does he remember her now ? did he share her feelings or would he laugh in her face if she confessed everything now ?
a half sibling ? like, maybe her father had that kid before he met her mother
a step sibling ? her mother has a boyfriend now & he has a kid. maybe they are tight af, maybe they hate each other who knows
extremely extroverted friend who drags her to every single party & tries to get her together with their other friends
literal MOM friend. the one who knows about her health issues & always smacks her hand when she tries to eat something sweet. maybe sometimes they feel bad, so they let her, but make her swear that she wouldn’t eat anything else sugary for the rest of the day. someone who reminds her to take her meds.
a person she met online. she likes them a lot. turns out they’re living in the same town. they’re supposed to meet, but aro’s anxious bc she’s too self-conscious. she’s worried she’s not half as entertaining irl.
some smooth motherfucker who’s like ,, aYE sweet mama @aro. 11/10 wants to teach her how to kiss, probably has an ulterior motive
the girl who made her realise she’s hella attracted to girls as well
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casography · 7 years
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i’m so sick and tired of my life
i don’t even know where to begin. my lack of freedom, maybe. i’m stuck out in a shit little town in a moldy disgusting junk-filled house. all i want is to be able to go places and drive myself around but even that’s not okay with my mom. she doesn’t think i’m ready even though i’m 23 goddamn years old. that’s 7 goddamn fucking years i’ve been waiting for freedom, and i just keep waiting.
i’d have a car available to drive if the truck would get fixed. and who’s that up to? my deadbeat disgusting moron of a step-brother who always says he’ll do something and never does. and my tool of a father just wrings his hands and wonders when it’ll get done, but god forbid we take it to a repair shop because we can’t afford it. and we’d get a new car but my father already gripes and whines all the time about us not having enough money. you know why we don’t have enough money you piece of shit? because we have to spend it all on your high-maintenance ass that “needs” 20 different kinds of vitamins, protein powder, and certain types of clothes and foods. just so we can keep you around longer for you to gripe and whine more and make us fucking miserable.
i’d rather have my mom around even if she is controlling. at least she isn’t a baby, no, she just doesn’t take care of herself at all. i can’t count how many times she’s said “this is my wake-up call” to get healthy. when she went on the insulin, when she had fucking cancer, when she fell and broke her shoulder, and so many other times. and still she has not lost the weight she said she would. she doesn’t even test her blood sugar. so now i’m just trying to get used to the thought of life without my mother because that’ll probably be my reality in a few years since she doesn’t give a shit about me enough to take care of herself. 
i’d love to leave but i know i’d wind up homeless. where the fuck am i gonna go? honestly i just want to leave this country and never come back but i’m too afraid of everyone hating me for it. and i couldn’t take my dog with me because i’m pretty sure i wouldn’t make enough to take good care of him. i’m afraid being away from him would send me spiraling and i’d never come back. but my family, for the most part, is shit. most of the people around me are shit. they say how they come into where i work and try to find me but i’ve seen those fake cunts walk right by my desk without even looking. try-to-find-me bullshit. most of those people that do that are my family. they don’t actually give a shit about me. you can’t tell me you can’t find me when my best friend walks right up to the desk or texts me and says “i’m here yo.” my mom does that too (well without the “yo” part) and you know why they do that? because they actually give a shit and they’re some of the only ones who do.
but that’s fine. i don’t want my aunt coming around anyway, seeing as she’s part of the reason my grandmother’s dead now. i don’t want my brother coming around because he’s a fucking bigot and i want to shoot him in the face every time he opens his mouth. he can take his purple hearts and shove them up his ass. i don’t want my step-grandmother coming around because she’s just an asshole plain and simple and it’s a constant reminder that she’ll never actually be my grandmother. god my family used to be so great- back when i was always nice and happy (or pretending to be). but now that i have opinions and i’m not cute and little anymore they find it perfectly fine to ignore me. okay. if i do die at some point in the near future or i kill myself, their sympathy would either be fake or just a mandatory duty. i truly hope ghosts can kill because i wanna kill like ten of them.
i love my job and hate my boss, but i have to act like i’m her best friend. i want to make more money, preferably in another department until she leaves, but last time she straight up blocked me from switching by convincing the store manager that my attitude needed work. i can’t trust anyone there because most of them are loud-mouth shitbags, so i have to complain to my mom and best friend about her. i’d kill her too if i were a ghost.
so yeah, no wonder i might have an ulcer. i’ve been dealing with stressful bullshit all my life, especially in high school. i could go on and on because it still pisses me off, but i’ll just say that very few of them cared either and they mostly just wanted to ignore me. so they did. and i almost killed myself. then once we graduated they whined about how they wished we could keep in touch. more bullshit. i’m not good at starting conversations but they do really well at running their mouths so they could text me at any time or come pick me up where i live but NO ONE IS WILL TO DO THAT. APPARENTLY IT’S TOO FUCKING FAR OUT AND USING A LITTLE BIT MORE GAS (THAT I WILL REIMBURSE THEM FOR ANYWAY) ISN’T WORTH SPENDING TIME WITH ME. DID YOU ALL EVER STOP TO THINK THAT MAYBE I WOULDN’T BE SO FUCKING MISERABLE AND ANGRY IF PEOPLE JUST GAVE A SHIT ABOUT ME? 
oh and online friendships dear god. i love them to death but i’m so sick and tired of tip-toeing on eggshells around...well i’ll just say “her.” it’s been like that for so long and i understand. i understand her problems because some of them are my problems too, but they’re no excuse for how she acts towards me. i try to be nice and i try to keep things civil but i don’t know how much longer i can keep it up so. may not be too much longer now. she can joke around rudely all she wants but the second i do she stops talking to me. fuck. that.
i’m just done and i’m tired and if this makes me lose friends then you’ve missed the point. i never ask for anything. ANYTHING. and i rarely vent. so yeah if this pisses you off, then you’re only thinking about your feelings and not mine.
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knockdiabetes · 5 years
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SUGAR KNOCKER – FIGHT DIABETES NATURALLY
Table of Contents
Why follow a healthy lifestyle?
My diabetes story
My diabetes diagnosis and how it affected me
Researching ayurvedic treatment for diabetes
What is in Sugar Knocker? How does it benefit diabetics?
How to consume Sugar Knocker
Why take Sugar Knocker?
Order Sugar Knocker here.
·       Cinnamon
·       Amla
·       Kala jamun
·       Bitter gourd
·       Tulsi
·       Turmeric
·       Gurmar
·       Banaba
·       Heart-leaved moonseed/Giloy
·       Vijaysar tree
·       Salacia reticulata (Saptarangi)
This post is about how I discovered Sugar Knocker – A natural herbal supplement to treat Diabetes and fight diabetes naturally.
Suppose someone were to ask us if our goal was to live a long healthy and disease-free life where we never had to take any medication, we would naturally say yes and jump with joy.
And suppose you were a diabetic and someone asked you if you wanted to control sugar levels naturally—to treat the root cause instead of just symptoms of diabetes what would you say?
I have type 2 diabetes and when Mr Girish Banvi, the brain behind Sugar Knocker asked me, I said yes. I was keen on doing everything I could to get off my diabetes medicine.
However, to achieve that goal, we would need to consciously follow a healthy lifestyle. This means eating a healthy diet, getting enough sleep and exercise and staying stress free.
Why follow a healthy lifestyle?
I am sure you will agree that sticking to a healthy lifestyle is easier said than done. Given a choice between joining friends for a drink and dinner at the end of a long and tiring day—and catching a healthy dinner and sleep—you know what most of us would pick.
We’re human and often end up making choices that are not so healthy. Life gets hectic and, in our quest to accomplish it all, we neglect our health. But making the pledge to eat smart, exercise daily, monitor our stress levels and quit smoking—sets the stage for a healthy future.
Being in good health also means a good quality life with a stronger immune system and less disease, where we enjoy better relationships and are happier at work.
My diabetes story
I lead a reasonably healthy life. No smoking, no alcohol. I am vegetarian and make good food choices. I walk every day. The one area I need to work on is getting enough sleep. And my wake-up call came one day, five years ago, when I went for a full health check-up. I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes.
Now, diabetes runs in my family and I knew I was at risk. Yet, during the months preceding the diagnosis, I was guilty of not paying attention to my diet, stress or sleep. Exercise was out of the question with work deadlines.
I could have easily avoided this, but you know what they say—hindsight is always 20/20 vision.
The diabetes diagnosis changed my life forever. After I went through the initial “why me” misery, I pulled myself together, determined to show it who’s boss. I took stock of my lifestyle and made changes. I learned the risks of diabetes. If ignored, diabetes can lead to other health complications that make life hell.
High blood sugar levels affect the workings of other internal organs like the kidney, heart and liver.  To list just some of the complications of diabetes:
Skin issues
Eye health risks
Nerve damage
Numbness in the feet and hands
Kidney disease
Heart health – risk of stroke
High blood pressure
Can you imagine living with all that? If you are overweight, it is even worse. The visits to the doctor, the expenses and the stress can be depressing.
The good news? With the correct treatment and recommended lifestyle changes, the complications of diabetes can be prevented or delayed.
My diabetes diagnosis and how it affected me
My HbA1c, when I was diagnosed with diabetes, was 11.4. My cholesterol levels were high—I don’t even want to mention the numbers. I knew that if I didn’t take my health seriously and make changes, I would be sabotaging my health. I changed my lifestyle overnight. I roped in my family to motivate me to stick to these changes which were:
Healthy food—plenty of salads, sprouts, vegetables and fruit.
Eliminating processed foods and packaged foods from our diet
A one-hour brisk walk every day
In my case, cut down on coffee
Sleep by 11 pm. (I used to stay up much later than that)
I also cut down on my work commitments to reduce stress levels.
But then, making a plan is not the same as following it. Switching to a healthy lifestyle overnight meant working really hard at it.  My doctor put me on diabetes medication. I wasn’t very happy about that. I wanted to believe that I could achieve normal blood sugar through diet and exercise. I had no choice but to take the medication to prevent diabetes complications.
Of course, there were side effects – stomach troubles. Then the new stress: I stressed over taking the medicine on time. I stressed over eating right. I stressed over losing income after giving up assignments so I could have free time. While my family was extremely supportive, it wasn’t always easy for them to follow my diet. Also, my folks have a sweet tooth and dessert was a part of our meal plan. Fortunately, I am not fond of sweets but still. There were days I wished I just didn’t have to do any of this healthy lifestyle business. It gets tedious.
Researching ayurvedic treatment for diabetes
However, something good came out of it all. I decided to educate myself about diabetes and solutions available. I also started a new blog to post tips that worked for me, because every little change helps.
Read: Understanding Type 2 Diabetes
Here’s the first thing to know: are you at risk for type 2 diabetes?
If you answer yes to one of more of the following questions, you are:
Family history of diabetes
Overweight
Physically inactive
Have high blood pressure or take medication for it
Have low HDL
High Triglycerides
Had gestational diabetes
Have PCOS
Have unhealthy eating habits
Don’t get enough sleep
High stress levels
As I said earlier, you can take control of your health by making a few changes.
You can prevent type 2 diabetes! If you have a family history, just keeping track of blood sugar levels can alert you to prediabetes, the precursor of type 2 diabetes and you can take the necessary steps to control it. In fact, you can even reverse type 2 by managing it properly.
On that positive note, I doubled my efforts to find what treatments were available besides the standard pharmaceutical medications and Insulin therapy.
After all, I come from a family that specializes in home remedies and natural remedies for practically every ailment. Moreover, I was alarmed at the potential side effects for some of these medications such as bloating, dizziness, skin rash, weight gain and kidney disease, which seemed as bad as the diabetes itself.
I also came across a number of natural remedies suggested by trustworthy sources. At this point, I must tell you one thing: there is no such thing as a “diabetes” diet. The diabetes diet is just a healthy diet that is applicable to all those who want to stay disease free.
But there are certain foods that enhance a healthy diet and paying special attention to consuming them definitely helps.
As an informal diabetes health educator, my mission is to share whatever authentic information I discover and what works for me.
I came across several interesting Ayurveda products in the process but was a little wary about trying them as the reviews were not always encouraging. Granted that we are not all the same and our reaction to a condition or medicine is different. Nevertheless, there are some standard parameters we look for: such as whether the treatment option has been through clinical trials, the results experienced by those who tried it, the number of years it has been in the market, the ingredient list, and so on.
One day, while talking to my neighbor, she mentioned Sugar Knocker, a diabetes treatment in ayurveda – an ayurvedic sugar treatment product her aunt was using for managing her diabetes and how well it was working for her. She went on to describe how her aunt had started it, the benefits she was experiencing and how she has now almost reversed her diabetes and was in great health.
Curious, I Googled the product. The results led me to its website. There I viewed the YouTube video of a speech by Dr B M Hegde on diabetes. Very inspiring. I was now eager to learn more about Sugar Knocker.
My main question was: would it work for me?  Would it help me get off my diabetes medication? What would I have to do?
What is in Sugar Knocker? How does it benefit diabetics?
Sugar Knocker is made of a combination of 11 natural herbal supplements for diabetes proven to help manage blood sugar levels. These have been used in traditional Indian Ayurvedic Medicine for Diabetes for decades and considered safe to take even if one is taking prescription medicine for diabetes. In fact, many of these ingredients are already on my kitchen shelf!
Here is a quick overview of the herbal ingredients for diabetes used in Sugar Knocker.
·       Cinnamon
Improves blood sugar and insulin sensitivity, helps with weight control and reduces the risk of heart disease – especially beneficial for people with type-2 diabetes.
·       Amla
Improves the functioning of pancreatic beta cells as well as increasing uptake of glucose by the cells. Is also an anti-ageing tonic and immune-stimulant.
Watch this video – How to use amla for diabetes:
·       Kala jamun
Has a positive effect on the pancreas by checking the conversion of starch into sugar in cases of excessive production of glucose.
·       Bitter gourd
Strengthens the immune system and helps to maintain cholesterol level and triglycerides in liver and blood.
·       Tulsi
Blood purifier, antioxidant, improves heart health, respiratory health and nerve health. Prevents and heals infections, reduces cholesterol levels and emotional stress.
·       Turmeric
Helps reduce blood glucose levels and increases insulin. Prevents oxidative stress and decreases glycosylated hemoglobin, controls diabetic neuropathic pain, heals wounds.
Watch this video: Turmeric for diabetes
·       Gurmar
Regulates appetite, blood glucose levels and triglycerides and pancreatic function.
·       Banaba
Rich in dietary fiber, minerals like zinc and magnesium and vitamins. Improves glucose metabolism and used in diabetes treatment.
·       Heart-leaved moonseed/Giloy
Helps in managing immune system, blood glucose levels and overcoming hypoglycemia.
·       Vijaysar tree
Regulates b cells of pancreas and used as herbal medicine for diabetes.
·       Salacia reticulata (Saptarangi)
Normalizes blood sugar and insulin levels and healthy blood lipids.
I am familiar with almost all of these herbal ingredients for diabetes and was now eager to know even more about ayurvedic sugar treatment – Ayurveda for diabetes.
Let me confess – I wanted to try Sugar Knocker for myself. I called the contact number on the website for more information. I wanted to talk to the CEO of Sushrut Ayurved Industries, Mr. Girish Banvi after I read the story behind Sugar Knocker.
It so happened that Mr Banvi was visiting my city. We made an appointment to meet. It was a most pleasant meeting and I got to hear firsthand about how he developed Sugar Knocker.
He was in the business of supplying medicinal plants to top ayurvedic product manufacturers like Dabur, Zandu, Baidhanath, Himalaya, in the 1990s. During a family function, he noticed many family members and friends taking insulin before food. This and his rich knowledge of herbs inspired him to develop an effective natural diabetes dietary supplement that would not only help control blood sugar levels but also promote overall health.  He then collaborated with industry experts and after intensive research, tests and clinical trials, to arrive at the unique combination of 11 herbs that had the potential to rebuild pancreatic Beta-cells. In 2005 the ayurvedic supplement Sugar Knocker was born.
Sugar Knocker is 14 years old today and regarded as one of the best ayurvedic remedies for diabetes with a user satisfaction ratio of close to 88%, many of whom have reversed diabetes without any side effects.
Here are some testimonials for Sugar Knocker.
How to consume Sugar Knocker
As Sugar Knocker works on the root cause of diabetes and attempts to rejuvenate the pancreatic beta cells, initially it must be taken alongside prescription medication to avoid sudden spikes in blood sugar. After sugar levels stabilize, you can cut down your prescription medicines by at least 50%. Eventually, you can stop your prescription medication and also Sugar Knocker.
A healthy lifestyle, diet and exercise while taking Sugar Knocker speed up the process of achieving normal blood sugar.  Along with my three months of Sugar Knocker, I also received a diet chart detailing what to avoid and what to eat and it looked easy enough as I was following most of it anyway.
Sugar Knocker dosage is designed scientifically to manage and control diabetes.  Here’s the guideline. It is to be taken 15-20 minutes before food.
Sugar LevelCapsules / DayDosage
140-199 mg/dl2 capsules1-0-1
200-250 mg/dl3 capsules1-1-1
300+6 capsules2-2-2
Blood sugar must be checked two hours after meals.
Gradually, as blood sugar levels come under control, prescription medication can be cut by at least 50%, after consulting your physician.
Needless to say, diabetes treatment can be effective provided proper nutrition and exercise are followed along with continuous monitoring of blood sugar levels. Any changes to prescription medication must be done only in consultation with your physician.
Sushrut Ayurved Industries has a range of health supplements such as Amla, Banaba, Berberine, Cinnamon, Curcumin, Fenugreek, Garlic, Kalonji Seed Extracts and Moringa—all of which are proven to promote overall health.
Why take Sugar Knocker?
I have started taking Sugar Knocker because it is made of natural herbal ingredients proven to work for controlling diabetes. It addresses the root cause of diabetes, nudging the pancreas to resume their normal function by generating the beta cells. It helps increase uptake of glucose by cells and exerts an insulin-like action. It also regenerates the lipid mechanism. Besides preventing diabetic retinopathy and oxidative damage it also helps prevent micro-vascular damage. Best of all, there are no side effects, as I have learned after talking to some people who are very happy with their experience.
I am expecting progress in three months and will post an update by December 2019. I am maintaining a chart of my weekly blood sugar levels and will also try to follow the diet chart that came with Sugar Knocker to the best of my ability. I know that if I stick to it strictly, I will see results in three months—if not, a little slower.  I make sure I walk at least one hour every day and stay active. I expect Sugar Knocker will also help me with my overall health because of the ingredients.
If you are struggling with type 2 diabetes, I understand how you feel. I strongly encourage you to invest in your health with a proven natural product.  Allopathic medicines have nasty side effects in the long run. Diabetes is not a lifelong ailment. You can manage it well by making a few lifestyle changes. You deserve to be free from diabetes, just like me. Why not take a holistic approach?
Order Sugar Knocker here.
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robertsmorgan · 7 years
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Psychology of Eating Podcast Episode #181: Letting Go of the Bully Within
For many years, Devorah has fought her body to lose weight. Going on diet after diet, she has the ideal weight in mind and is continually frustrated with how out of reach it has been. Even with her husband’s support and reassurance that she is fine the way she is now, she knows there has always been that little voice inside that says she needs to keep pushing herself to look better and weigh less. In this really important session, Marc David, Founder of the Institute for the Psychology of Eating, walks with Devorah on this journey to discovering where these thoughts and beliefs about herself began. He helps her see how she, the victim of bullying as a child, has become her own worst bully. Listen in as Devorah makes great discoveries about herself, her body, her health, her relationship with her mother, and how to begin healing in a really big way.
Below is a transcript of this podcast episode:
Marc: Welcome, everybody. I’m Marc David, founder of the Institute for the Psychology of Eating. We are back in the Psychology of Eating podcast, and I’m with Devorah today. Welcome, Devorah.
Devorah: Hi, Marc.
Marc: Hey. I’m so glad you’re doing this. And, Devorah, let me just tell new viewers and listeners just kind of how this works. So Devorah and I are just meeting now, and we’re going to have a session together. And we’re going to see if we can just help push the fast forward button on transformation as best as we can and come up with some good ideas.
So, Devorah, for you, if you could wave your magic wand and if you can get whatever you wanted to get from this session, what would that look like for you?
Devorah: Okay. Well, I made a list. Peace, power, no more shame, healing of all my relationships because I think food is symbolic of all relationships. I want to feel more like a victor and less like a victim. I want to feel like I don’t have to apologize for who I am. I’m in a healing profession. I’m a nurse, a registered nurse. And sometimes I feel like a hypocrite because I don’t follow the advice that I give. I want to feel a sense of abundance, and I guess the bottom line is I want to be able to fill that hole that’s inside of me that I seek to fill or that I notice when I’m binging. And it just doesn’t seem to fill up until I’ve eaten till I’m sick to my stomach.
Marc: Got it. Got it. Got it. Okay, that’s a nice, big magic wand wish. I like how you’re going for it. I appreciate that. So let me ask you this question. You started talking a little bit in there about kind of how things show up for you around food and body. Tell me a little bit more about your relationship with food, your relationship with your body.
Devorah: Okay, my relationship with food, I remember being obsessed with food for as far because as my earliest memories go. I remember like having a fight with my mother, may she rest in peace, about… One of my very first memories: I wanted watermelon, and we didn’t have watermelon. We only had cantaloupe. And she kept offering me cantaloupe, and I started crying, “No! I want watermelon!” That was actually one of my first memories.
Also, even if you look at my toddler pictures, I’m like really roly-poly. I was the fat kid in the class even at a time when childhood obesity wasn’t as much of a problem as it is now. And I was always like told I shouldn’t eat so much. I was made fun of. I was bullied for being fat. I was punished for eating things that were forbidden, so they became a “forbidden fruit”. And I learned how to sneak eat. I was very good at it. I was actually very severe—some of my worst punishments were for eating.
My mother, may she rest in peace, was a diabetic, and she took insulin twice a day. She would stick herself and, “You see what happens to you if you don’t stop eating so much?” And I know like trying to get in touch with my own appetite, trying to slow down, and I find I can’t do it. I find I don’t know what my natural appetite is. I’m always in a state of either being on a diet, trying to be on a diet, feeling guilty that I should be on a diet, and then just getting out of control and then hating myself afterwards for it.
I’ve been thin. I’ve gone through various diet programs. I am an OA dropout. I can’t do it anymore, but I have been “abstinent” for a long time. I was the 90-day wonder. When I was doing this program, I was like a perfectionist. But I was never still happy. I always felt that there’s more. Life could send you some curveballs, whether you’re fat or whether you’re thin. It doesn’t make a difference. But I felt like a certain, I don’t know, like, “Ha! I’ve got it. I’m thin. Finally, they’re not going to make fun of me for it, and it’s good.”
I’m like in a way almost like, “I’m better than them now because I’ve achieved it.” But I was always that one bite away that they talk about, and if for any reason I gave into that one bite which I think was inevitable because I don’t think it’s possible to be perfect, perfect forever. I think you could be perfect for a day, a week, a month, even a few years, but I don’t think it’s possible to do it forever, at least not for me.
And I would just do that one little thing extra and forget it. That would be the end, and I just totally lost it. I’ve yo-yoed my whole life. I’m so sick of it, and I know that it’s very unhealthy to gain weight. It’s better to just stay one weight than to gain and lose and gain and lose and gain and lose. And I just don’t want to do that anymore.
Marc: How long has that been happening for you? Like, when did you first start dieting again?
Devorah: I went on my first real, real diet when I was 10 years old in the summer between fifth and sixth grade. And I was getting all sorts of praise and everything. And then, the day before sixth grade my mother passed away, and that was the end of my diet, of course, because she was my biggest cheerleader. And all the beautiful clothes that my aunt had taken me shopping for… She had taken me to Lord & Taylor, Saks 5th Avenue, and I had never been to these stores in my life. And I had these beautiful dresses, and I was so excited. Of course, within like two or three months, that was the end of being able to wear those.
Marc: So who raised you?
Devorah: For four years, my father’s mother raised us, and then my father remarried when I was 14.
Marc: So then you moved back in with your dad and your stepmom?
Devorah: Well, no. My grandmother lived with us.
Marc: I see. But you were living with grandmother, dad, stepmom.
Devorah: Yeah, right after they remarried, then she moved out. My stepmother didn’t really want her staying with us, which I, looking back on, kind of understand it. You’re newly married. You don’t really want your mother-in-law with you. It’s enough taking on your second husband’s children, plus to have a mother-in-law, so then she didn’t live with us anymore.
Marc: Do you live alone now?
Devorah: No, I’m married.
Marc: How long have you been married?
Devorah: I have been married 38+ years.
Marc: And do you have kids?
Devorah: Yes.
Marc: How old?
Devorah: Ranging from 37 to 21.
Marc: Oh, how sweet.
Devorah: Yeah. And grandchildren.
Marc: Let me ask you this question. So I’m going to be bopping all over the place as you can tell, by the way. I’m just kind of gathering up all the information that’s helpful for me. That’s why all these questions that don’t necessarily seem to be related. Do you have a number in your mind about how much you want to weigh?
Devorah: The magic number is always 125.
Marc: Oh, okay. That’s a nice number. 125. How much do you weigh now?
Devorah: Don’t know. Don’t want to look at the scale.
Marc: Mmhmm. That makes sense. Okay. So there’s a magic number for you. And you imagine that when you hit that magic number, what would happen? Like what do you tell yourself?
Devorah: I’ll be able to go to the doctor and get on the scale and not be scared to face the number. I’ll be proud of the number. Other than that, I’ll be able to wear clothes. I won’t feel nervous about going to the store and hating the way I look in clothes and just not wanting to buy anything. I’ll just feel that sense of lighter.
Like I said before, I know that life does not all of a sudden magically change—the sun doesn’t shine any brighter. You don’t win the lotto. Everything doesn’t wonderfully fall into place just because you’re thin. I’m aware of that. But I guess a certain satisfaction almost like, “Look, Ma! I did it!” And all the family members like when we used to go visiting and say, “Ah, look. She got a little fatter. She gained weight.” It’s almost like, “No! I’m finally thin! Finally!”
Marc: I get it. Good for you. You actually have this well thought out, so I like that. How does your husband feel about your body?
Devorah: My husband feels as long as I’m not absolutely obese that he’s okay and I should stop obsessing about it. I should just be a normal person, and I should just eat like a normal person, stop trying to always be on a diet. And if I would just stop being on a diet, then I’ll be able to eat normal things. He’s one of these people who really—he eats to live and doesn’t live to eat. He’s the type of person that if he’s eating cookies, he’ll eat them for a few days or whatever. He’ll have the package, and if there’s three left and he decides he doesn’t want anymore, eh, that’s it. Fine. And it’ll go in the garbage. I’m not like that.
Marc: Sure.
Devorah: And I should cook normal food and just be normal. And he doesn’t understand why I’m so obsessed with this, but he’s lived with me a long time. And he knows that’s the way I am.
Marc: So what do you think, and this is an opinion question. I don’t think there’s any right or wrong, but I want your opinion about you because you know you better than anybody else.
Why do you think it’s been such a challenge for you to get where you want to go in terms of loving your body, being satisfied, feeling empowered, feeling at peace, feeling comfortable in your skin? What do you think holds you back? What gets in the way?
Devorah: What gets in the way? A few things. Number one, again, it’s almost like I have voices in my head, criticizing me and saying, “You see? You see? Look how fat you are. Look how gross. Look how disgusting you look. Look at you. You can’t eat. You’re not eating like a human being. You’re letting yourself go all to your urges, and you’re just eating like an animal.”
And there’s also this thing of like not enough. Financially, we struggle. My husband works. We live in a community that we have certain extra costs. We have to do things. How do I explain this? He likes certain religious dietary requirements that just cost a lot and a certain religious dress code. I can’t just wear jeans and a t-shirt. I have to wear skirts, tops, dress more… These things cost more and just certain things.
There’s almost like that not having enough. I live in a community I didn’t grow up in, and sometimes I just feel like I don’t fit in as much as I would like to. And I don’t know if that has anything to do with my eating, but not living here there’s almost like a certain cognitive dissonance. Like I sometimes feel like I’m in no-man’s land. I don’t belong where I grew up. I don’t 100% belong here. And also, I’m tired. I work night shift, and I can’t go home and go to sleep for seven-and-a-half hours in the daytime. I have too much to do. I worked last night, and I got now like one-and-a-half hours. Part of it’s I was nervous about this session, so I couldn’t sleep well. But I don’t sleep, and sometimes I just come home from work. And I have to unwind, but I know I have to make supper. And I know I have to do this, this, but I really want to sleep. But I can’t. I once heard somebody say, “Either you sleep or you eat. If you can’t sleep, you eat to stay up.” And I do that.
Marc: Got it. Okay. I think I have a good bit of information to just offer some thoughts and some feedback and some advice. So what I like about your situation is that you’re a smart lady and you have a lot of good understandings and distinctions about yourself, maybe even more than you realize.
When I asked you when this all started, oftentimes, oftentimes, not always, but when we’re trying to unwind something that we haven’t been able to fix and unwind for decades, that usually means we’ve got to kind of look at how things began to get a sense of why they’re so difficult to unwind. Because that’s what we have to do sometimes. Sometimes you don’t have to go back to the past. And the story that you shared about your early days and years, that’s pretty intense. That’s pretty intense back then to be the kid that gets picked on about weight and about body size. And to have your parents be so intense around the dieting and the food and the judgment, that is extremely difficult and damaging for the psyche of a young child.
Were your parents mean? Did they hate you? No. They somehow weirdly thought that this is the right thing to do because they love us and they worked on the best information that they had. That’s what they did. They used the best information that they had. Granted, they would probably do it different nowadays, but that’s what they knew to do. And it wasn’t helpful. In fact, it was kind of harmful.
Then when you tell me that kind of the first time you were on a diet at a young age and then your mom passing like at this crucial time in your life, at this crucial age, when we’re young. Nobody wants to lose their mother, their father, or their parents at that age. It’s hard, especially your same sex parent. For a girl, her mom. For a boy, his dad.
So in a lot of ways, what happens is—I’m not saying this is happening for you, but I’m suggesting it is because I’ve seen this—that oftentimes what happens is dieting becomes associated with my mother for a woman. And it’s almost like your connection to her. The body challenges that you’ve gone through, it’s almost like your connection to her.
And I especially believe that because you even said to me, when I said, “What would it look like for you if you got where you wanted to go finally?” And really the first thing you started sharing was you said this other voice in your head, “You see, Mom? I did it. I did it, Mom.”
So in a way, you are still talking to her which is fine. It’s very beautiful. You are communicating. You’re staying connected to your mother through dieting and through being that little girl because that little girl, all of a sudden, her mom is gone.
When we get hurt at a certain age, a part of us stays that age. Now, you became a woman. You became a wife. You became a mother. You became a grandma. You’re a professional. So you’re all these great things. You’re not a kid. And there’s a part of you that’s a kid. There’s a part of me that’s a kid. The part of you that’s a kid is particularly the part that got hurt, wounded, at a young age when your mom died. So there’s a place where certain patterns get locked in there because we’re not able to move forward because there’s a trauma in the system, trauma meaning my mama died.
And I get that you’re still connected to her. You have a special connection with her, and that’s important for you, as it should be.
My parents are deceased; I still feel connected to them. The relationship doesn’t stop. It evolves. We evolve, even though that person we can’t see them and they’re not here. The challenge is you’re still relating to your mother as if you’re that little girl.
And as long as you’re still relating to your mother as if you’re that little girl, you will be dieting. You will be unhappy with your body. You will not be in your power. And you will be trying to finish what you were trying to do 50 years ago. You’re trying to finish that. It makes sense by the way. This makes sense in terms of how the psyche works, how the mind works.
We’re psychological creatures. We operate in a certain way. So I’m just sharing from my view some of the ways that the mind operates. So you’re trying to finish something from 50 years ago that you didn’t get to complete, so that when you finally complete it, you go, “Okay, done! See, Mom, I did it. See? I’m loveable. See? I’m this great little girl. See? You can stop judging me and love me unconditionally. So I can feel good about myself, and now I can launch myself into the world.”
So in a perfect setting, our parents launch us into the world with all kind of love and positive regard and we feel good about who we are because I’ve gotten good messages. “You’re loveable. You’re okay. You don’t have to be taller, shorter, thinner, fatter, richer, whatever.” So that’s ideal. But not all of us get that. Maybe few of us get that.
A part of you is still that little girl, and that’s how you’ve been operating. And when I said to you.. Also, I asked you, “So what do you think holds you back?” First thing you said and you were very clear, and I agree with you, you said, “These voices in my head.”
Now, let me translate what people mean by voices in my head because it’s true. We’re not crazy. There’s voices in our head. Why? Because there’s a lot of people up there. You’re a grandmother. That’s a particular voice. That’s a specific role. You’re a wife. That’s a very specific role. You’re a mother. That’s another specific role. You’re a nurse. That’s another very specific role. Those are voices, personalities, personas, people.
I’m a professional. I’m a son. I’m a father. I’m a friend. I’m a scientist. I’m an artist. So each one has a different head space and a different expression. And at any given point, depending on what we’re doing, one of those voices is doing most of the talking. Now, some of the voices in our head we have less control over. So as a for instance, your professional voice, you can probably turn that on and off really easy. You get to work; there you are. Boom. You put on your professional gear, and you’re in that voice and you’re in that role. And then when you come home, like you drop that at the door and you’re you when you come home.
So a part of us goes into—in this case for you, you have that little 10-year-old girl persona. Doesn’t feel good about herself. Doesn’t feel good about her body. Has not gotten the message that you are loveable. What the message she got was “you are not yet loveable” until you, oomph, lose this weight, look like this, and get our blessing. So you’re waiting for that moment.
So what I want to say to you—and by the way, if you were my client, we would be getting to this place that I’m talking to you about right now probably after about four or five months. So I’m cheating. I’m giving you what I think is the goal, is the keys to the kingdom here, because normally we would kind of go through a journey and sort of arrive there together.
So what I think your task is to get where you want to go, to get that magic wand wish that you said, “I want to be at peace.
I want to feel empowered. I want to just be comfortable with this. I want to love who I am. I want to stop all this nonsense,” great. I’m on your side.
I want you to do that too because it hurts me so much that here you are—how old are you? 50? 60?
Devorah: 59, turning 60 next month.
Marc: 59. Okay, so this is your time in life to be a queen. This is your time in life to be sitting on your throne. This is your time in life to feel empowered, not to be burdened by this nonsense. So that hurts me to see you being burdened by this nonsense. Now, I’m not saying that’s your fault because this is how we’re taught.
So nothing you’ve done is your fault. This is how you were brought up. This is how you were taught. And then the world comes right in and says, “Yeah! You need to go to Overeaters Anonymous. You need to be abstinent.” I don’t like Overeaters Anonymous. I don’t like it at all. There’s no such thing as abstinence from food. There’s no such thing as a food addiction; you need food to live.
It’s all about learning how to have a healthy relationship with food, how to encounter food, be with food, not how to be abstinent from it. That’s ridiculous. I’m just telling you right now. That’s why it doesn’t work, and it didn’t work for you. Can it work for some people, sometimes, in certain situations? Sure.
But overall, the philosophy is flawed because food is not the enemy. We’re not trying to be abstinent from alcohol here. You don’t need alcohol to live. You need food to live. So that’s too much of a conundrum for the brain. It makes no sense, and it just causes confusion.
So what I’m saying is that in order for you to get where you want to go, you, personally, need to step into your queen, step into your womanhood more, and be acutely aware every time you let your little girl take over.
Because when you let your little girl take over and drive the car and run the show and run the ship and be the voice in your head that dominates, you’re in trouble. You go back to being a 10-year-old girl, but even though I’m talking to a 59-year-old wonderful lady, I’m really talking to a 10-year-old, which is fine, which is very sweet. Again, we all have that.
Any person I talk to with an eating challenge, at some point I can help identify like, “Oh! Here’s the age that you’re enacting with your eating challenge.” So this is a time when you have to willfully mature yourself. You have to self-initiate. You have to change your religion. And when I say change your religion, you have very strong commandments and beliefs that are religious about how it all works.
Your belief is if I lose this weight and get to where I’m supposed to be and hit that point and show my mother that, look, here I am. And look here I am, everybody. Because it’s not just mom, but you’re also showing off to all the other kids, like, leave me alone. I’m cool now. I’m one of the good people now.
Those people don’t care. They’re gone. Nobody’s waiting for you to do anything in terms of losing weight. There’s no room of judging people going, “Okay. When is she going to do it? We’re waiting for her.” They don’t exist. That’s a made-up religion.
Sure, there might be some people that judge you. There’s always people judging us. Who cares? Leave them alone. Get rid of them. You don’t need people in your life who are judging you. Somebody’s going to judge you for how you look? Great. Cross them off your list.
So you have to change your religion, meaning you have to understand that the strategy that you’ve been trying to use to get where you want to go is not the right strategy. If it was, it would’ve worked. It would’ve worked a long time ago because you’re a smart lady, and you’ve tried and you’ve efforted.
So you get an A+ for effort. You get an A+ for trying. You get an A+ for grit and elbow grease and putting in all that work. And now, we’re going to take all that good energy and put it into strategies that actually are going to take you where you want to go.
Devorah: Sounds good.
Marc: Yeah, so the strategy that I’m talking about—and this is gradual. You’re not going to do this overnight. It’s not like, “Oh, I’m going to take a pill, and I’m going to be all better.” Or, “Oh, I’m going to just do this one, simple thing and I’m going to be better.”
This is a practice like practicing a musical instrument. If you don’t know how to play the piano, this is going to be like you learning how to play the piano. But guess what. You’re going to be young again because you’re going to be fresh, and you’re going to be a beginner. How cool is that?
And what you’re starting at as a beginner is to understand that you are a woman, that you’re a queen, and you have to make sure that she is the one who is driving your life and your experience when it comes to food. Because your queen, mother, woman, mature personality checks out when it comes to food and body for you, and you become that little girl.
So I want you to start to catch yourself. How do I know you can do that? Because you’re unbelievably observant about yourself. You’re smart. You’ve noticed. You know yourself. You know your habits. You know your thoughts. But you haven’t quite known how to spin out of all that information. You haven’t quite known how to put that information together.
So I’m suggesting this is how you put the information together. You notice, “Oh, here I am in this little girl voice. Here I am being a victim because that little girl feels victimized,” because she was. She was a victim. She was an actual victim. She was being bullied. That’s a victim. So victim is not always a bad word. So that girl was harmed emotionally, energetically, spiritually, physically. That’s not nice.
So the good news is that offense is over. You are not that girl anymore. There’s nothing similar. You’re not that little girl anymore.
You’re this whole other person who’s created this whole other life, and you don’t always see that. You’re just seeing all the issues and all the problems. You’re seeing the world oftentimes as if you’re that 10-year-old girl, like, “I don’t have what I want.”
So you have to start to let go of what that 10-year-old girl wants. And you have to talk to her. It’s like talking to a voice in your head. You have to be the good mother that you didn’t have by your side. So whatever you would’ve wanted from your mother, you have to give it to you. It’s called re-parenting. Nobody else could do this for you but you, to re-parent yourself.
So every time that little girl goes, “Aw, I want people to love me. I want to weigh exactly what I want to weigh,” what would a good mother tell that little girl? What would you say to her? “Hey, honey. You’re beautiful as you are. It’s okay. Take a deep breath. You’re perfect. You don’t have to diet. You don’t have to do anything.”
So I want to see you start to live with the body you have right now as if this is it. This is the body you’re going to have for the rest of your life and love it for who it is and what it is for the first time ever, without trying to change it.
Might you want to change it, I don’t know, five months from now? Tweak it? Sure, if that’s what you really want to do. But I’m more interested in you having an experience for a number of months where you ain’t trying to change it. You’re like, “Time out. I’m okay as I am.”
Because if you did that, then you would have to be the new you. You would be saying, “Okay, I am ready now.” Only you could say you are ready. So here’s what happens. The child’s mind in you, the 10-year-old girl in you, goes, “Well, what do I have to do? How do I do this? How do I make this happen?”
And that child’s mind cannot solve the problem because it’s a 10-year-old mind, and it makes no sense to you because you’re just trying to be happy. And all you need to do to be happy is lose this weight and get the approval of parents and get the approval of all the people in the environment who finally say, “You’re acceptable.”
And then your queen, woman, wise person brain needs to come in and go, “Oh, look at me. I’m going into that old thinking. I’m going into 10-year-old girl thinking. That doesn’t work. Why? Because who says I’m acceptable? I do.” You do.
There’s nobody you need to impress at this point. Your husband loves you. Your kids love you. There’s nobody you need to convince of anything. So you have to choose you for the first time. You’re waiting for other people to choose you. You’re waiting for other people to grant you the right to be loveable and acceptable.
It’s kind of like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz at the end. They say, “Hey, you always had the power to click the shoes.” That’s you. You’ve just got to click the shoes. I mean that. I really mean that. I’m not kidding you. We’ve been taught to look outside for the answers. We’ve been taught that you read a book, you take a pill, you do some system, and this is actually what I’m saying is hard work. It’s a different kind of hard work where we have to dig deep within. We have to face ourselves. We have to look at ourselves, and we have to see, “Oh! Here’s where I’ve got to make a little bit more effort.”
What happens is humans can often be very—we can be very motivated when it comes to work. We can be very motivated when we have to push our bodies, and we can be very motivated when we have to push ourselves to make money. Sometimes it’s easy for us to get just spiritually a little more lazy because it’s a harder kind of work. It’s a, oof, you’ve got to get in there. And you have to self-initiate. Again, meaning there’s nobody out there who’s going to do it for you. Nobody. Not me. Not anybody. And you have to get that.
And when you get that, then you are your own woman. Previously, you were not your own woman. There’s moments where you’re your own woman, but then it quickly goes into, “Oh, but this body’s not acceptable. This body’s not okay. What do I have to do to make you invisible, strange people love me and accept me?” And then the slightest bit of evidence that you gather that somebody’s judging you or you’re comparing yourself or you’re not this, you’re not that, the slightest bit of evidence throws you off.
So what I’m saying is that’s because you’ve been trained to give your power away. And now we’re going to go back to the source which is you. And you’re going to say, “Okay.” And this is literally doing like a life review. This is you looking back on your life and going, “Okay. Here’s my journey. It wasn’t easy.” So I’m hearing your story and I’m thinking to myself, “That’s not an easy journey. That’s not an easy start.” If I was you, I’d be sitting here with the same challenges.
So chances are, my guess is, you’ve done phenomenally well, given your start. So I want to say congratulations. All things considered, good for you for creating a beautiful life because you could’ve been a mess. You could’ve been a mess, and you weren’t. You’re quite the opposite. Are things perfect? No, but who are they perfect for. So all things considered, you’ve been a success. And now, you are wisely saying, “Wait a second. Enough.” Because you can’t continue in the same mindset anymore. You can’t. You will start to get very, very, very unhappy.
So you look back on your life and you start to bless your journey and you bless your story. And you say goodbye to that little girl in terms of you’re not going to be running the show anymore. She’s going to be by your side. You’re going to be holding her hand, and you’re going to be talking to her as if she’s your little girl. And you’re going to say the things that she would’ve needed to hear. So it’s almost like you’re pretending you’re the greatest mom you’ve ever had when you need to talk to her and soothe her.
So then you’re invoking the part of you that is indeed the person you want to be. So the person that you want to be you have to bring her forth. You have to bring her forth in actions, in thoughts, in words, in deeds. Then you become that person slowly, as you practice being that person. Just the same way when you first have a child, you’re practicing being a mom. So you’re being in mom role a lot, and it gains momentum. And then all of a sudden, you’re a natural mother. When you start being a nurse after your first few weeks on the job, okay, you’re being in that mindset. And then it starts to take over. Same thing. You’re adopting a new role. You’re adopting a new personality.
And, to your point, yeah, it’s not the victim. It’s the victor. How do you be the victor? You look back on your history, and you go, “Wow. Job well done. All things considered, whoa. Success.” Do we want to improve on some things? Absolutely. But all things considered, wow. And when you start to lapse into being a victim, the woman in you catches it, sees it, notices it, and you don’t let yourself go down that tunnel.
It’s no different than if one of your kids was having a tantrum. At some point, you’re going to stop them if they’re going for hours. Or if they’re going into a dark place, at some point you’re going to, “Hey, how’re you doing? What’s going on?” So you can’t abandon yourself anymore. Part of you got abandoned. You were left. When a parent dies young, we feel a sense of abandonment.
And what happens is that becomes part of our life. So even though your mom has passed, there’s a place where you’re still reliving that abandonment when you abandon you. What does that mean? You abandoning you means you insulting yourself, means you becoming the bully. “Oh, look what you ate. You shouldn’t have eaten that. Look how fat you are.” That’s being a bully. Other people bullied you; now, you’ve taken that on yourself. So that’s what you have to break.
You’ve got to realize, “Oh, wait a second. That’s not a good strategy.” You’ve got to catch yourself. If somebody starting bullying you right now, I hope you would stand up to them.
If somebody started insulting you or insulting one of your loved ones, I hope you’d stand up for them. Same for you. If you start bullying you, I want you to stand up for yourself.
So I’m busy yakking away here. How’s all this landing for you, young lady?
Devorah: It makes sense. It really makes sense. I hate to use this expression. It’s one of those always expressions, but it sounds like simple, but not easy.
Marc: 100%. Brilliant observation. Simple in concept. Another word for simple in concept is it’s exquisitely elegant, obvious. And correct: marriage is simple in concept. Hey, I love you. Hey, I love you. Okay. Let’s get married. And it’s not easy to execute.
Devorah: Oh, no. It takes a lot of work.
Marc: Okay. So that’s what I’m saying. But simple in concept. Two people get together. We love each other. Okay. Let’s make a life together. So that is correct. So the kid in you might protest. Why? Because when you give me a bunch of homework to do, I protest. The kid in me protests. I don’t want to do homework. I want to go out and play. I want to have fun.
So I want you to notice who’s protesting. And follow me here for a moment. You will mount an immune response to what I am saying here, meaning there’s going to be a part of you that’s going to want to reject it because it is going to be a little work. And it isn’t easy; you’re correct. So if it’s not easy, then it’ll be easy for us to go find excuses why we can’t do it. And you’ll want to push it away.
So I’m just giving you a heads up warning because this is what happens when human beings come face to face with the real work that we have to do. I’m just being straight with you. When we come face to face with the difficult work, it’s hard to do. You know people like this. I’m sure you have people in your circle, friends that you know, that you could say, “Okay, I know where this person needs to do a little work in their life, and they’re so resistant.”
It’s natural. It’s just kind of what we do because the work is hard and because we do have to face ourselves. And there will be some pain in there. What’s the pain? The pain is sometimes to see, “Oh, it’s been so hard to live like this. Oh, my God, I wish I would’ve figured this out sooner. Oh, my goodness, I wish it wouldn’t have been so many years doing this.” That’s where I go when I realize, “Oh man, I’ve been thinking a certain way for the longest time, and, oof, was that the wrong direction.”
So we have to contend with a lot inside of us, but we can and that’s the sign of adulthood. It’s the sign for you as a woman of queenhood where we manage the challenges and the conflicts with grace. And we understand that life is short. And we understand that you are not immortal. And we understand that unless you have a clear path, you’re going to keep doing the same thing because you have been.
So your strategies don’t work. The strategies that we collectively use around all this stuff, honestly, not very effective. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be in this conversation. You would’ve done it already, and everybody would be having an easy time when it comes to body image and weight and loving themselves. It’s not easy. The cards are stacked against us because the world is always giving you messages. The world’s always telling you, “Hey, you should look like this. You should look like that.” The movies, the media, the magazines, it’s all reinforcing how bad we are.
And even you said this, “I’ve got to spend all this money dressing a certain way and looking a certain way.” The world often wants that from us even if it’s not living in an orthodox community. It’s like the world has its dress code and its look and its feel and its shape and its weight, and it’s crazy. It’s crazy.
So again, what I’m saying is, yes, you’re right. It’s hard work. What I want you to find in yourself, my wish for you, is that you get to the place where you realize this is the kind of work worth doing.
So you asked me before we got on and I remember exactly the words you said, “So if I listen to you, can you guarantee me that it’s going to work?”
And I wouldn’t say yes because it’s not fair to say that. It wouldn’t be true because I can’t guarantee it. But here’s what I will say that if you grapple with what we’ve talked about and if you take it to heart and if you truly in yourself believe, “Huh, I think this is the right advice for me,” and if you put it into action, I guarantee your life is going to change.
But you have to make the choice that this is right for me or not. You can’t dabble. “Oh, let me try this diet for three days and see if it works. Let me read this book and see…” Those are passive things sometimes. It’s about you making the choice and you putting things into action.
So that’s why I can’t guarantee because I don’t know your work ethic here. But what I’m saying is if you can get, “Oh, this is the kind of work worth doing that’s going to get me where I want to go,” how could you not get there?
Devorah: I hear it make sense.
Marc: Mmhmm. What’s happening for you right now?
Devorah: What’s happening? I’m absorbing all this that I heard. I’m listening. I’m almost like trying to, as silly as it sounds, picture Queen Elizabeth and I’m picturing this 10-year-old girl. Like what you’re saying about me being the bully, bullying myself, that’s really, really resonating. It’s really, really resonating. And I almost feel like I need to do things that I don’t even know how to do.
Marc: Yeah. But you can learn because you’re smart and because you’ve gotten this far in life and look at all that you’ve learned. You’ve learned how to be a mother, a grandmother, a wife, a professional, a good human being. So you’ve got some talents. Okay? You’ve got some life talents and life skills, and you’ve got great instincts. And honestly, in my opinion, man to woman, you are not fully aware of your own super powers. You have a much lower self-opinion of yourself than you actually deserve.
And I’m not asking you to be arrogant; I’m just wanting you to be able to own yourself more. And I want you to think about that queen image because I like that for you. I want you to think about yourself sitting in a throne because I like that for you. And it’s not like you’re a mean queen. A good queen gives of herself.
Devorah: Oh, yeah.
Marc: A good queen loves her queendom. Everybody in her space is part of her queendom. A good queen delivers wisdom. A good queen grants people her presence with her wisdom, her love, her insights.
A good queen doesn’t sit on her throne and go, “Hey, everybody! Am I skinny enough? Do you love me? Do I need to lose more weight for you to love me as your queen? Because if you do, I’ll go exercise.” You would never follow a queen like that.
Devorah: No.
Marc: No. No. So be the queen that you would want to be with, you would want to follow, you would want others to be around. So it’s you literally stepping into that. And as you step into that, the little girl in you starts to find her rightful place which is this cute thing that’s part of your past that is now healing because you’re bringing in this other part.
So on one level it’s less about fixing what happened, and it’s more about now continuing your evolution and stepping into this new part of you. And, yeah, you’re going to be doing a little bit of tweaking because when that little girl acts up, the queen is going to go, “Oh, I just want to tell you something, honey. You are okay exactly who you are. You don’t have to do anything else.”
Every day I would love for you to make some kind of affirmation where you tell that girl she is loved and she needs to do nothing more to be loved and accepted. So she can get once and for all you are granted the right to exist and to be loveable. And we love you. I guarantee you if I could talk to your mom right now she’s not trying to change you. You think she’s on the other side wishing you were doing something different with your weight or your diet. She couldn’t care less.
Devorah: That’s true.
Marc: She wants you to be happy. You want your kids to be happy. Do you look at your kids going, “Oh, you should lose five pounds”? No, you want your kids to be happy. At the end of the day, you want them to be happy. That’s what she wants for you. She doesn’t want you to diet.
So this is a new way of thinking. And I just want to say from my perspective I’ve thrown a lot at you here. I’ve put a lot in your court. This is not a simple, casual conversation. But I said to you before we started recording, I said, “I’m going to give this my best possible shot.” And I mean that. I really want to see you get where you want to go. I really do. It’ll make me feel better about myself. It’ll make me feel better about the world.
And for me, I find it unacceptable that women and men are being held back in their 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s because of body image, weight nonsense. And we’re not being in our power, and we’re not giving our real gifts to the world. It’s unacceptable to me. So we’ve got to do something about that.
So that’s what this conversation is. It’s us banding together as comrades, as humans, on the journey together. There’s certain things I know more than you. You know more than me. And just sharing, “Hey, here’s what I’ve noticed.”
So that’s where this is coming from. It’s less me as the expert, and it’s more me as the person who just spends a lot of crazy time dissecting these things and analyzing them because that’s what I’m weirdly passionate about. And I’m reporting to you from my neck of the woods, “Here’s what I think is going to move you forward.”
It’s not about believing me. I want you to be really clear about that. This is not about believing me and doing what I said. This is about you seeing does this resonate for me and am I willing to put this into action? So it becomes your choice as opposed to me saying what to do. Because if it’s me telling you what to do, then it’s that little girl again, going, “Oh! Here’s what he told me to do, so I should do that. And if I make him happy, then I’ll be…” No.
Devorah: And that’s my instinct of what I want to do.
Marc: Because your little girl is so strong, and that’s very endearing and very sweet. You have a very child-like quality to you, and I mean that as a compliment. So that’s part of what makes you endearing, but it also gets in your way sometimes. So good. You caught yourself. I caught it too. Okay. So I could already feel you being a good girl, and going, “Oh, he says I should do this.”
Devorah: That’s right. I’m like, “Okay, so give me homework. Give me step-by-step this, do this. What homework you should do.” Even like, “What paper should I write?” And I’m always the A+ student because I have to do everything right and perfect, and I see this is much deeper than that.
Marc: It’s deeper.
Devorah: And this is where I feel like I’m going to completely different waters than anything I’m used to.
Marc: Yeah, exactly. Exactly! And those different waters, completely different, is where you want to be living. And it’s good that you’re noticing it’s completely different because what you said at the beginning in terms of what you want is completely different than what you’ve had. Do you follow me? What you want is completely different from what you’ve had.
So logically when you’re intuiting, “Huh, this is completely different,” it is reasonable to deduce that I’m on the right track here. I meaning you and I in this conversation. We’re on the right track because, “Huh. This is completely different.” You bet it is because what you want, the outcome you want, is something completely different than what you’ve had.
So, based on that, you’re going to be—I would love to give you specifics at this point. You’re going to have to instead kind of come away from this conversation and start to resource yourself and tune in and be the queen.
Because sometimes a queen is given a challenge, and there are things going on. And here’s the situation. Here’s the conditions. What should we do?
And then you make a choice in the moment. You tap into your wisdom. You listen to your inner knowing. It might not come out right away. You might have to think. You might have to meditate a little bit. You might have to marinate a little bit and give yourself time and space to tap in as opposed to, “Okay. Tell me exactly what to do. And what’s the first step? And what’s the second step?”
Yeah, we could do that, and that might be useful for you at some point, quite honestly. But given this relationship right now that we’re not going to be doing this 12 more times, it’s probably a good thing for you because I would love to see you just kind of jump in the water and start to get comfortable and start to resource yourself. Start to tap into your wise woman within. I really mean that. You can be a wise woman, Jewish sage. You’ve just got to let that voice start to come out in you. She’s in there, right? Am I right? Yeah.
Devorah: Yeah.
Marc: Yeah. So it’s you starting to claim that. Because then you’re in the rightful place where you ought to be at this stage of your life which is sitting on your throne not being that lonely little girl trying to lose weight. You’re not her anymore. And now we’re going to just catch up to that.
You have been a very excellent sport here. Excuse the sports’ analogy, but you’ve been very willing. You’ve really shared very openly about yourself, and I feel you haven’t held anything back and have just been very honest about your process. And that’s beautiful to witness. It’s very mature. It means to me you have the right tools to move forward.
And it just reinforces what I’ve been saying to is that you just have way more super powers than you realize. You let that little hurt girl show up so much that it eclipses these other really brilliant parts of you more than it needs to, and you forget that you’re a wise woman. You just forget. So I want you to stay in remembrance more. Then you’ll happier.
Devorah: Mmhmm.
Marc: So, Ms. Devorah, we are at that time. Good job.
Devorah: Thank you.
Marc: Yeah. Great answer. Excellent job. I’m so pleased by this time together for us. I would just love for you to just kind of marinate and consider and just dream on things and watch that you don’t get into your head too much, too much, too much. You can get into your head at some point, but I think it’s really good for you to just kind of feel. Just feel, like you’re doing right now. Make sense?
Devorah: Yes.
Marc: Mmhmm. Great job. Excellent job, and I’m going to wrap us up now because I think this is a good place. And if I have you nice and quiet, then that’s a good thing. That means you’re thinking and that means you’re feeling. So, again, thank you, Devorah, and thank you, everybody, for tuning in. Once again, I’m Marc David on behalf of the Psychology of Eating podcast. Always more to come, my friends. Take care.
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from Robert Morgan Blog http://psychologyofeating.com/the-psychology-of-eating-podcast-episode-181-letting-go-of-the-bully-within/
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