The perfect man

Have you ever came across someone so perfect? I mean of course everyone has their flaws, but you don’t see this persons flaws. All you see is the beauty within them (yes men can be beautiful too) you see them for who they truly are. You don’t look at what they do have or don’t have. You could careless about the not so good decisions they’ve made in the past. I have. I came across the most perfect man 10 years ago online. His name is Tre. I really don’t remember what website it was, but I can guarantee that I wasn’t taking anything seriously considering I was only in 9th grade. Here I am, now 23 years old almost 24. I still have regular contact with him. I am still infatuated with him, and I still think he is perfect. How could someone so handsome, and I literally mean handsome be so perfect? I won’t be one to question it though. I remember it like it just happened. It was 9th grade, I would always call his house phone and ask to speak to him. I was head over heels for him. Sometimes we would talk for a while, other times we wouldn’t. It only lasted so long though being that we were both young and miles and hours away. I’m in Nebraska and he is in Texas. We had no way of making it to see one another, so we ended up drifting apart. It was February 2012 before we would get in contact again, but only for a short period of time once again. It was almost 8 months into my then relationship and I message Tre on Facebook saying I need his number because I had gotten a new phone and lost my contacts. I really don’t know what happened after that. I’m sure nothing too much happened because if it did I would have remembered. Fast forward to April 2014. Easter to be exact. I message him on Facebook asking him how he has been and that if he wanted to, he could text me as I sent my phone number in the message as well. “I thought you didn’t want to talk to me since you got married” he said. Well, I wasn’t married, but I was engaged. I replied “Lol I’m not married, and if I didn’t want to talk to you I wouldn’t have messaged you lol”. He asked when this was happening and I told him I wasn’t sure yet. “Must not want it bad enough” he responded. I’m thinking “okay Tre, here we go” I couldn’t expect anything less from him, he is kind of a smart-ass, but that’s good I guess haha. I told him “Yeah I do . I’m just more focused on other things like school right now.” He asked what I was studying and I told him I had recently graduated cosmetology school about a year prior and that I was back into school for nursing. Like always, he never fails to make me smile with the words that fall out of his mouth “whoa” he said. “What?” I asked. He said “smart and beautiful. I blushed, smiling from ear to ear I said “thank you!” We had then took our conversation to Snapchat. Snapping all Easter Day, I knew my fiancée’s family thought something was going on, and so did he. I wasn’t interacting with the family, I wasn’t participating in games or even conversations. My attention was more so focused on Tre. I tried to make it not so obvious, but when a female is looking at her phone smiling from ear to ear and blushing all while ignoring her fiancée and his family, it’s pretty obvious someone else has her attention. I go to grab a plate and I eat my food. After I eat I go lay down, because food always makes me tired. Of course I bring my phone with me so he doesn’t see what is going on and of course waiting for Tre to Snapchat me back. Let’s just say I guess I wasn’t careful enough because Tre had snapped me back but my fiancée took my phone and saw it. He hadn’t told me until later on down the road when we had gotten into an argument that he had saw a Snapchat from a “guy” saying that he wanted to kiss me. I knew who he was talking about. I felt bad but then again I didn’t because I wanted the same thing from Tre. A kiss. I had been waiting on one for 7 years at that point. It was well overdue. Once again, our conversation had only lasted so long, but little did we both know I was going to be seeing him 10 long but short months later. February 2015 came. I was going to Atlanta to the Bronner Brothers hair show with my girls. Let me tell y'all. If y'all are stylists, estheticians, or nail techs. Y'ALL NEED TO GO! I promise you will NOT regret it AT ALL!!! One of the most amazing times I had ever had in my LIFE! I’m not going to lie. While I was there, that’s when I had a feeling that the relationship I was in wasn’t going to last simply for the fact it’s not what I wanted. Although Tre doesn’t live in Georgia, my whole time there I couldn’t get my mind off of him. He took over my mind and my soul. I had to see him I thought. Thank god for credit cards right? I told Latasha that I had to get back home a day early because my second job needed me to come in. That couldn’t been anymore further from the truth. The truth was, I was flying out of Atalanta to Houston to see the man I knew was meant for me, Tre. I tell Tre that I’m heading that way and that I’d be there in a few short hours. As I was getting on the plane I was thinking to myself “this is really happening, I’m finally about to see Tre after 8 years!!!” My plane lands, a lady from the airport gives me a short ride to the hotel down the street from the airport. Tre was already there. Before I could even get checked in my phone vibrated. It was a text message from Tre “I just saw you”. My heart dropped. I looked a wreck! Not all of my clothes would fit in my 2 bags so I had layers upon layers upon layers on, my makeup was all smeared it was just a horrible sight to see. I texted him back once I got to my room and told him to hold on while I freshened up. A few minutes had passed and I texted him the room number. Never in my life had I been so anxious, but yet calm. I already knew what was about to happen. I’m not a fool, and furthermore I was okay with it. I get a knock on the bedroom door “knock knock knock” I look through the peephole, open the door and there he was. These big doughy eyes, dark skin with tattoos, big muscles, long curly eyelashes, and dimples. The moment I had been waiting for was finally here. Starring into one another’s eyes for what felt like a lifetime, taking in the moment. I was trying to take it all in. I was amazed. I received the tightest, biggest, longest hug I had ever received in my life from anyone. I loved it. We laid on the bed just talking, I was smiling and blushing. I could feel him just starring at me. “What?” I ask. “Nothing, you’re just so beautiful, I can’t believe you’re here in front of me. It doesn’t seem real” he said. He made me blush even more. Then he spotted my engagement ring. He asked where he was at, and I had said “back home in Kansas City. I don’t want to talk about it. I’m ending it when I get home.” It was quiet. We continued talking about things. He starts kissing me and caressing my body. Looking at it in amazement, telling me how perfect I am and how perfect my body was. He pulls out the condom. “So are we going to use this?” He asked. I had to think. I knew I wanted to, and I knew I was going to end the relationship when I got back home to Kansas City, so I don’t know why I had to think about it. I tell him yes, but that I needed to go to the nearest store or gas station to get some things to freshen up. We went. We got back to the hotel and I took a shower. I was trying to rush because I didn’t want him waiting all night, but the truth is I take very long showers. I always have. An hour passed and I finally get out of the shower. I was sure not to mess up my makeup though. I dry off, and get right in the bed with nothing but a towel on. That’s when it all started. I didn’t regret it. I wish I didn’t have to go back home the next morning but I did. My plane left at like 5 something in the morning so I didn’t get much sleep. As my alarm had woke me up to start getting ready to pack my things to head home I look over and Tre had left me a note. It read “wow, you are truly amazing” he signed his name. I made sure to put that in my wallet and I carried it around with me everywhere I went. Until I lost it. Actually, I think my ex fiancée found it and through it out. I go back home. My fiancée could tell things were different. He asked me if I missed him while I was gone and I said “hell no!” I was serious. He picks me up from the airport and that was the most awkward ride home ever. Nothing but quietness. We get home and I go straight to the bedroom close the door and start texting Tre again and re-reading our snaps. My fiancée barges through the door “Ann, does someone else have your attention?” He asked. I could tell he knew, and I could tell he was hurt. I told him the truth. I said “yes” he closed the bedroom door and went out into the living room to be alone. I honestly didn’t feel bad. I told Tre “I’m ending the relationship, I just need to figure out when will be the right time” he texted me back and said “oh. I hope it’s not because of me.” I replied “No, it’s not. It’s something I need to do.” So I did. It took me a couple of months but I did it. April came, and I put my 2 weeks in at my job without telling my fiancée until after the fact. I came home and said “oh by the way, I put my 2 weeks in and I’m moving back home” and sure enough I did. At first I was sad. I was in that relationship for 4 years. It was hard to let go, but it was something I knew I needed to do deep down inside. I move back home, and it had only been a couple of weeks before I get a text message from a Texas number. I don’t remember exactly what it read all I remember was it was a girl and she had said “is this Annie” I replied with a yes. I got a text back that said “I know you don’t know me and I don’t know you but I do know one thing, and that’s that you, me and Houston all have one thing in common” I knew exactly who she was talking about “but don’t tell Tre I told you” she said. Dummy. Why wouldn’t I tell him? So I screenshot the messages and forward them to Tre going OFF on him. I told him to lose my number. He had told me “I assure you I’m single, but I respect you so much for this. It shows you’re not one to go and ruin another relationship” I’m not, and I won’t. That was the end of that. We stopped talking and I had met someone else 2 months later. Worst relationship of my entire life. That’s a whole other story. Towards the end of that relationship (which only lasted 8 months from June-February) I got a message on instagram from Tre “haha I read over this and started laughing. How have you been Annie?” Tre asked. My then boyfriend didn’t like that so he replied saying “she’s good my dude, I got her.” Tre said “good. She’s great, take care of her. Thanks.” A month or so had gone by after that exhausting, stressful, unhealthy relationship ended and I told Tre everything that went wrong in that relationship. He was happy I got out of it, and honestly so was I. After that we had started to text quite a bit on and off. Then 5 months later, august 2016 was when Tre and I really started hitting it off, and talking constantly everyday all day. My feelings for him grew and grew and grew with every message, every phone call, and every video chat. Constantly telling me how beautiful I am, calling me his queen, talking about kids, a house, marriage, traveling and so much more. Talking about how perfect I am. I could go on. It made me feel beautiful again. It made me smile again. A true smile, a real smile, I wasn't faking it this time. This man had my heart and he knew it, he could tell I was falling for him. October came and that was the first time I had told Tre I love him. I was beyond scared and nervous. I didn’t know how he would react. I tried finding someone to open up the Snapchat for me to see what it said, but nobody came through. I open it. Heart eyes, hearts, hearts with arrows all while saying “I love you back” I was ecstatic. “I got him!!! He is mine” I was thinking to myself. Life was perfect and I couldn’t have asked for anything more other than to be closer to him. That day is coming you guys, that day is coming. This man is like a blessing from above. I can't thank God enough for saving this blessing for me. I thank all the girls in the past for messing up, even though it pisses me off that they hurt him along the way. Them messing up led him to me. Let's be honest though, has had been mine, and I have been his since day 1. Finally, December comes and I finally book my plane flight to go see him for a few days. I’m glad I did. Though we didn’t do a lot, it was the most amazing time of my life I had ever had in a long time. I couldn’t believe I was seeing him again. I was nervous and excited all over again. I tell him my plane has landed. Though he was at work until late at night I kept myself busy until he got to the hotel room. It was close to about 2:00am and he said he was on his way. I told him to tell me when he's almost here. As the time was approaching for him to pull into the parking lot of the hotel I hurry up and scramble around getting out of the bed and quickly running to the door to leave it open a bit so he could just walk right in. I was too nervous to open up the door. I literally run back to the bed pull the covers over me and get back on my phone scrolling through Pinterest listening to music. I heard him walk through the door, but I was too nervous to turn around and see. He threw his keys onto the dresser. That's when I jump up out of the bed, turn around and yell "Treeeeeee!!!!!!" I run towards him getting ready to give him a hug and he says "whoa, I'm dirty I just changed 2 tires on my car so I don't want you touching me. So if it's okay I'm going to use your shower." I said "yes, go ahead towels and everything are in the bathroom." My heart is beating and I’m trying not to smile. I’m just laying on the bed listening to music scrolling down Pinterest as he's taking a shower. He walks out with a towel on. I had the air on so I asked “is it too cold in here” he said “freezing”. I go to turn the air down, as I’m turning the air down I feel his hand grab mine. He turned me around and pulled me in. Another tight, long, big hug. Only this time it was better. I had a smile on my face that lit up the room. He placed my hand on his chest. His heart was beating fast, really fast! He grabs my face and starts kissing me. Kiss after kiss after kiss after kiss. Probably for about a good 5 minutes. I wasn’t complaining though! I loved it! We spent the next 3 days just laying around, talking, laughing and just cuddling. I didn’t want to go home. I was dreading it. I started crying because I didn’t want to go home. I wanted to be there with him. I even called my mom crying telling her I didn't want to come home. I texted my friend Brittni and told her "well, I guess Tre isn't kidnapping me like I wanted him to do." She was happy I was coming back, I wasn't. Everything goes great from there on out, up until around January 8th. Another disturbing message. At this point it’s clear to me I have something a lot of females want, but I was still angry. Again, I went off on Tre. I had bought another plane ticket out there to see him again this month (January 2017), but I canceled it because I was just so disturbed. That’s when everything started to go down hill. A couple nights later I made the worst mistake of my life. It eats me up on the inside. I told Tre I didn’t love him, and that I said those 3 words to early. It’s only been a couple of days since I told him that. I couldn’t be more wrong about something. I do love that man, I do!!!!! The bullshit that was being thrown at me was something I'd never thought would have happened again. It did, and I was upset, hurt, destroyed, let down, angry, sad. I had so many emotions running through my mind I didn't know what to think or how to feel at that point. All I could think was "he lied to me, he doesn't love me. I'm not going to waste my time loving someone who doesn't love me and that is going to lie to me. He's a ho, and that's never going to change." This has been the worst 2 days of my life. Never have I been so disgusted with myself. I feel like I have let Tre down. What can I possibly do to make it up? I know I have something that a lot of females want. They’re not getting him though that’s the thing. We have been placed in one another’s lives the last 10 years for a reason, and I’d be absolutely damned if I let another female take my winning prize. It’s not going down like that. He is my King, all of me belongs to him just like all of him belongs to me. It's my job to hold his heart in my hands, take care of it and mend it from the hurt and pain from the past. I realize as long as I have something another female wants, that I’m gonna deal with some bullshit along the way. If I’m not ready to deal with the bullshit from girls that want my place, then I don’t love Tre. And if I don’t love Tre then I’m a failure. I’m not a failure and I don’t give up. This is my king and I’m staying right here on my thrown next to my king, and I’m not giving up my spot. The day I give up is the day I can officially be called a fool. That is one thing Anastasia is not, a fool! I will fight for us until the day I take my very last breath. Never in my life have I ever wanted someone or something so bad like I do Tre, and I am going to do every little thing in my power to show him that. That's how I know what I said was false feelings and just wrong. This is a love I have never felt before. I love him, I really do love this man. He is truly a blessing from above. How did I get so blessed to be given this blessing. If I could take back what I said I would do it quicker than a heartbeat, because that man is my life. I will forever make sure that he knows that. That is my king, and I am his queen. This is love!