#ok i went on an unintended tangent. point is i have nothing in my life that works or is good. maybe a couple of things but thats not enough
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#sooooo i really can't stand living like this any longer. i'm going more and more insane each day and im losing hope and the will to live#i hate every single aspect of my life. and that's not just bc im negative or whatever. it's bc i have mental + physical health issues#i have chronic pain. i constantly keep having new health issues. headaches. muscle tensions. racing heart. heavy body and constantly tired#i dont sleep. i sleep 2 hours then wake up. sleep 2 more. repeat. my sisters havent talked to me this entire year. i have no friends#im poor and one by one all my things stops working and i cant afford to get new ones. i cant afford dental care. i have AWFUL posture#spend my whole life in my bed and my soul dies and rots day by day#ok i went on an unintended tangent. point is i have nothing in my life that works or is good. maybe a couple of things but thats not enough#i hate myself sm for being pathetic useless worthless stupid incapabable incompetent lazy avoidant#i cant keep going like this!!! i cant stand it + my mom is talking abt moving (w one of my sisters) so i literally cant keep being like this#my mom's tired of me and tells me to become independent. i hate myself for being 24 and still being a fkn child. but it scares me bc idk#how to be an adult???? i love my mom but she never really taught me how. and i had to be old when i was a kid so now im just stuck#this got too long guess i just needed to vent abt this >.<
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