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a3hastakenovermylife · 3 years

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Me: *incoherently sobbing in the corner*

(I swear I hate tumblr’s image limit with every single atom of my existence) (I would have uploaded the whole conversation)

GOD

OH MY FRIGGIN GOD

This is literally the opiteme of everything I imagine their friendship to be. Banri, being the punk that he is, is too emotionally frustrated to offer a lending hand in any way that wasn’t disguised as an insult. Juza, even as much as he struggles with social cues, notices the offer and actually ACCEPTS IT.

I am living, I was just an empty husk, an empty soul. This, right here, has given me LIFE.

Banri is right on when he said ‘You seriously gonna say some shit like ‘it’s my job as his brother’?’ I would have expected Juza to be too prideful, or too protective of his brother to be able to accept the veiled offer.

However, not only does Juza notice Banri’s subtle offer HE ACCEPTED IT. Just like that. He just did. More than that, he actually expresses his GRATITUDE in his little comment of “I owe you one.”.

I am so proud.

So friggin’ proud of him.

He’s grown up so much.

Like, AGH *clutches gut and collapses like I’ve been stabbed* MY FEELINGS.

What JUZA DOES HERE, is he shows that he is not only accepting that what Banri said (while he said it way to harshly) might be true, he’s actually acknowledging that fact to Banri himself.

Not that I think that Juza is a bad actor, because he’s not, Banri isn’t better than Juza that’s not what I’m saying. However, Juza is not the kind of person who does best studying just a script, I think. He’s not a natural actor like Banri, and he has to work harder at it. To expect any actor to perform a role based off of only reading the script and maybe participating in a rehearsal or two is insane, not to mention the fact that Juza isn’t exactly that experienced yet. He’s done a few plays, but that’s not exactly an extensive enough of a career to expect that level of skill from someone.

Banri is in fact a natural, and Juza understands, in that moment, that Banri is the more capable person in this particular instance, if only because of the time crunch. Juza is accepting the fact that he has his faults, and that’s ok.

MORE THAN THAT, Juza is trusting Banri to do this well.

After how shitty Banri’s attitude was when he first joined, some people might have held that judgement no matter how much he’s proven himself since then. It’s the kind of thing that’s hard to forget, and some people assume that lazy people will always be lazy. That’s an unfair assumption, but nevertheless an easy one to make.

Here, Juza is showing that he not only believes that Banri can do it better than he could, he’s showing that he trusts Banri to do it well, to actually make the effort, and in doing so, he’s acknowledging that Banri’s changed.

Not only that, but this is a problem that Juza considers his responsibility. This is something that Juza went out of his way to prepare for, that he felt personally responsible for, this is his brother, and he knew that something like this could happen and he considered it his responsibility to prepare for that eventuality.

Juza is trusting Banri to make up for his own brother’s mistakes in his place, not only is he swallowing his pride allowing Banri to do, he is genuinely grateful to Banri for the help, and he SAYS SO.

Banri probably doesn’t think it’s that big of a deal, half the reason he offers is probably to one up Juza. Though the other half is because he’s genuinely fond of acting and this company. He genuinely wants to help and he is able to do so, so why not lend a hand? If he can take a jab at Juza and one up him on the way, then that’s worth bonus points.

He genuinely doesn’t expect Juza to react that way, and it surprises him. He expected to bicker with Juza a bit and let the director decide in the end. Juza seriously threw him off with his gratitude.

Juza almost immediately knocks them back into their routine with a carefully placed insult, and Banri gladly settles back into familiar territory.

(Honestly, the fact that Juza was the one to steer the conversation back into familiar waters warms my heart too. Like omg he’s grown up so much!)

In my opinion though, that insult was a bit weak, I mean the length of his hair??? If you think about the rest of Summer Troupe most of them have medium to longish hair, Banri’s hair definitely isn’t any longer than Yuki’s and I think Kazunari’s is just as long, just styled differently. Muku and Misumi aren’t exactly slouches in the longish hair department either...

Really, Banri could easily pass for a baseball player, he definitely has the build for it. Juza’s a bit too muscular to pull it off, in my opinion. Baseball players just usually aren’t that bulky. Plus, Banri could definitely pull off a baseball ponytail or man bun. Though, I’m mostly thinking of American players, though there are still some American baseball teams that require their players to keep their hair short so I’m sure the Japanese teams are even more intense.

(Me who happens to know a decent bit about baseball rambling on about nonsense(the one sport I can actually tolerate watching and actually understand, yippee))

That almost adds to the genuine nature of this scene for me, it’s like, Juza takes a weak shot just to go through the motions and Banri eagerly follows just because he has no idea how else to react, so they keep bickering because that’s all they know how the do.

I loved their dynamic before, but this is BEAUTIFUL.

So, much meaning tacked into one little sentence.

(Imma just mention when I eventually do make that quote list this is going to the TOP)

(Also sorry for the long post)

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give-me-back-my-rhodey · 3 years

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You Jam My Gears

Link: Link to AO3

Title: You Jam my Gears

Creator: Purple_ducky00

For: @TolkienGurl for the @black-characters-matter-fest

Warnings: N/A

Rating: Gen

Pairing: SamRhodey

Summary: Based on the following prompt: Rhodey notices Sam among the new recruits of Avengers that Steve is training. He starts coming to Avengers' trainings to "watch", but he's secretly pining. Sam mistakes Rhodey's stares for critique/dislike and develops an attitude towards Rhodey. Whenever Rhodey and Sam have an opportunity to talk, Rhodey gets awkward and clams up which only reinforces Sam's belief that Rhodey doesn't like him. Rhodey doesn't understand why Sam is so standoffish and is a sad puppy. Eventually they pull their heads out of their asses and get together.

++ READ BELOW THE CUT ++

yOu shOULD gO hElP stEVe. Rhodey mocked Tony in his head. “It will be fun, he said.” He muttered. Today was not fun. He had come to the Avengers facility happy and cheerful; nothing could ruin his day… well, until he walked into the training room and saw the most beautiful man he has ever seen.

Sam Wilson, codename Falcon, was standing in the room talking to Romanov. Seeing him first, she waved at him. “Hey Rhodey! Come here; I want you to meet Sam. Sam, this is…”

“Lieutenant Colonel James Rhodes, I know.” Sam smiled. “He’s one of my heroes.”

Flustered, and totally not ready for this conversation, Rhodey just nodded and stared. After an awkward moment of silence for Rhodey’s dignity, he mumbled something about needing to find Steve and walked away as quickly as he could. Once out of earshot, he grumbled to himself. “Come on Rhodes, you’re smoother than this!”

+++++++++++++

Sam Wilson watched as Rhodes walked off. “Well, that was weird.” He commented.

“I agree.” Natasha eyed Rhodes’ retreating back. “That was extremely odd.”

“I guess I just figured he’d be glad to see me here. Does he want to be the only black guy on the team? Too bad for him because I’m sure as hell not going anywhere.”

Natasha just grinned that stupid sneaky smirk. “No, I don’t think that’s the case.”

“Whatever. It doesn’t matter either way. I’m here, and I’ve got more important things to worry about. Ready to start training?”

“Follow me, Sergeant Wilson.” Nat inclined her head to the training room.

Sam felt Rhodes’ eyes on him the entire time he trained. Rhodes and Steve were up on the balcony watching the training room below. He didn’t say a single word as Steve yelled orders; he just stared. Sam thought grimly that Rhodes was just waiting for him to mess up. Too bad because I’m gonna run this simulation perfectly.

“Sam! That was amazing! Great job!” Steve praised him once training was over. Rhodes was still just watching.

Natasha hip checked him. “Soooo, had to show off today, didn’t you?”

“I’m just showing him that I am damn good at my job. He won’t be able to find a reason to kick me off.”

“I… don’t think you’re seeing what I’m seeing, but think what you must. Now go shower, you stink.”

++++++++++++++++++++

“It’s not funny.” Rhodey grumbled.

Tony wiped tears off his face as he giggled. “Yes, it is! James Rhodes, the smoothest motherfucker in all of the science club in MIT, the man who met Whitney Houston and kept his cool, theee War Machine, theeeee Lieutenant Colonel James Rhodes, just froze up like Hammertech when he met Sam Wilson. I find this ridiculously funny.”

“You better watch it, or I’m going to tell Clint what happened the night of August 19th, 1994.”

“Ok, whoa, you don’t have to go that far.” Tony quickly sobered. “So, what are you going to do about it?”

“I don’t know. Try to talk to him? Maybe it will get better each time?”

“Good luck.”

Rhodey didn’t appreciate Tony’s skepticism, but he understood why he would be . Every single time he saw Wilson, he would clam up and look for an escape route if needed.

“Hey, Rhodes. Steve asked me to ask you if you have any tips for flying in these formations? He said you created these systems, and I could use a little help.” Wilson approached him yesterday.

Rhodey had been caught unaware, but he was still able to go through the whole formation with Sam. Fiercely proud and defensive of his formations, Rhodey admitted that he was a bit touchy about improving. The conversation ended with him feeling more frustrated than before. This really was hopeless. Maybe he should quit and go back to being a lone peacekeeper.

++++++++++++++

Sam threw down his jacket as he stormed into his room. “That’s it, I’m done. If he doesn’t respect me, why the hell do I have to respect him?” Then he saw Natasha sitting on his windowsill, filing her nails. “Gah! How did you get in here? Why are you in here?”

“Sounds like Rhodes is getting under your skin.” Natasha mused. “I wonder why.”

“Because he’s treating me like I’m not worthy to be here! I feel like I’m more worthy than he is! Tony Stark basically gave him his suit, and everyone just accepted him! I had to work to be a part of the Falcon program.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“No, I don’t.” Sam wilted. “I still am so amazed with him, like he’s a frickin badass. Like maybe I have a tiny crush on him.” Natasha raised an eyebrow; he amended. “Ok more than a tiny crush, but he acts like I’m beneath him! Like I’m… I just think that if he’s not going to treat me like an equal, I don’t have to hang onto every word he says. I’m going to stand up for myself.”

“Ok.”

“Ok? That’s all you’ve got?”

“That’s all I’ve got.” Natasha grinned evilly. As she walked out, she called over her shoulder. “Now hurry up and shower. We have a loooong night ahead of us. Oh, hi Rhodey. Was gonna get some dinner, want to join?”

Sam didn’t hear Rhodes’ response. He was too busy stripping so he would seem busy if Rhodes decided to knock on his door. Thankfully the other man must have gone with Natasha, so Sam hopped in the shower. After a long, warm, steamy scrubbing, he dried off and dressed… only to find Natasha sitting on his couch. “You’re a piece of shit.” He told her.

“Come on. Let’s watch some Lord of the Rings.” She patted the couch beside her.

“I’m serious. Now he probably thinks we’re fucking or something.”

“I’m a lesbian, Samuel. And Rhodey knows that. “

“Still.”

Nat chose to ignore him as she turned on the TV. As this was his twenty-sixth time watching these movies, Sam could basically see them with his eyes closed. He kept facing the screen even as he thought about why Rhodes wouldn’t like him. What had he done?

++++++++++++++++++

“You gotta help me, man.” Rhodey flopped on Tony’s couch as soon as he walked in the lab.

“More man problems?”

“He yelled at me today! I was trying to talk to him about certain maneuvers, and he asked me why I didn’t think he knew that already. He was like ‘I was in the Air Force too, you know. What is it about me that makes you think I’m inferior?’ Tony, he thinks I don’t like him! And you know, I couldn’t be like ‘Um, actually, I just don’t know how to talk to you because you’re beautiful.’ Like, do you know how lame that sounds? And don’t you laugh, Tony! Don’t you laugh!”

Tony lifted his hands in the air. “Not laughing. See? What do you want me to do about it?”

“I don’t know. Can you talk to him for me?”

“Have you ever done that for me?”

“No.”

“A part of me wants me to tell you to grow up and solve your own problems, but also, I have never been around him, so I don’t know what he’s like. I’ll think about it.” Tony leaned on the side of the counter.

“It’s just so dumb, because I can talk to everyone. I looked a crazy dude with a gun straight in the eyes and talked him out of shooting everyone in the vicinity before shooting himself. I’ve gotten laid before using only my tongue as foreplay. I’ve delivered speeches in front of millions of people. But talking to Sam Wilson? No can do.”

“Men do become fools when they fall in love.” Tony side-eyed him laughingly. “Now, come here. I need your help on this. Do you see this piece of code? It’s not working right…”

“Yeah, I can take a look at that.” The two spent the rest of the night figuring out code for Tony’s new program.

++++++++++++++++++++

“What did you do to Rhodes?” Natasha swung Sam’s door open.

“Nothing. What are you talking about?”

“Tony wants you to visit him in the Tower today. Sounds like you’re in hot water.”

Sam groaned. “Are you serious? Rhodes can’t take a little backtalk , so he needs Iron Man to step in?” Shaking his head, he tacked on. “Man, I’ll go, but geez.”

A few hours later, Sam landed on the landing deck of Stark Tower. FRIDAY greeted him at the door. Hello, Sergeant Wilson. Boss is in his lab. Take the elevator to the 19th floor.

“Thanks FRIDAY.” Sam was trying to figure out what he’d say when Tony Stark confronted him about Rhodes.

As he walked out of the elevator, Stark’s door whooshed open. No one came out, so Sam took it as an invitation to enter. He stood there awkwardly until Tony looked up from his project due to FRIDAY’s prompting. “Oh, hey Wilson. Sorry, didn’t hear you come in. Come here, take a look at this. Was wondering if it’s something you’d like to have.”

The thing which Tony was talking about, was a small drone, bearing the colors of the Falcon suit. Sam eyed it critically, wondering if it was a bribe. “If I take it, what do you want from me?”

“Steve didn’t tell you?” Tony looked surprised. “I make most of the Avengers armor and outfits, and I like to tech them up. This drone will fit right on your jetpack. He's a learning AI so you can train him how you want.”

“And that’s all you wanted me to come for?”

“…Yeah, pretty much? Was there something else you needed that I forgot? I do that often.”

Sam felt foolish. “No, I just thought you were going to tell me to be nice to Rhodes or something.”

“Oh, well, you’re allowed to have your own opinion about people. I personally don’t see why anyone would be angry with him, but I’m not going to judge you for disliking my Honeybear.”

“Are you two dating?”

“Oh no. Can you imagine? I’d probably love it, but he needs someone more down to earth than me.” Tony laughed. “He’s the best. I love him so much – platonically, you know – and he’s always there for me. You get what I mean, right?"

At that moment, who should walk through the door but Lieutenant Colonel James Rhodes? “Tones.” He said in a strangled voice. “Why is he here?”

“Oh, yeah, he’s the greatest.” Sam turned to Tony dryly. “If you’re still offering the drone, I’ll gladly accept but I don’t want to be here anymore.”

“Wait. I think I see what’s happening here. Both of you, sit down now.” Both men stood still where they were. Tony snapped his fingers. “Sit. Now.” When they complied, he resumed. “First, let this disclaimer be that I am not a licensed therapist, and secondly, you may not use this same method against me at a later time. Now, Sam, why don’t you tell Rhodey how you feel about him?”

Sam muttered. “This is stupid." He took a breath, looked at Rhodes and started "Ok. Rhodes, when I heard you were coming to watch training that first day, I was so excited. You were a big hero of mine, and you piloted an Iron Man suit. You can’t get much cooler than that. Then I meet you, and you basically dismiss me. I brushed it off, thinking you might have been late or something that day. But then time passes, I see that you’re good friends with everyone else at the Compound… except me. And you’re overly critical about every single damn thing I do.”

“Because I’m not halfway in love with anyone else in the Compound!” Rhodes blurted. “Oh shit. See, this is what happens, Tony! Why are you making me talk to him?”

“Wait. You’re… Hold up! There is too much happening all at once. Tony, did you set this up?”

“I plead not guilty. I had no idea Platypus would be coming here. Besides, why would I talk him up when I know he’s in earshot. That’s not something best friends do.”

That earned Tony a bit of a suspicious stare from Sam. “Okayyyy… and Rhodes – Jim – did you just say you are halfway in love with me?”

“Well, I mean. You’re really attractive and like, super badass.” Rhodes stumbled on his words. “And-and you’re so outgoing and friendly, and…”

“Let me step in and save his life and dignity. Rhodey is usually so calm, cool, and collected, no matter the circumstances. The fact that he can barely make a full sentence around you speaks volumes about your effect on him.” Tony interrupted Rhodes’ rant.

Rhodes deflated. “Yeah, what he said.”

“Ok, well then, I’ll make the first move. James Rhodes, would you like to get dinner and a movie with me tomorrow night?” Sam invited.

“I’d like that.”

“Then it’s a date. Thank you, Stark, for helping us figure this all out. Let me know when that bad boy is finished.” He pointed to the drone. “I’m gonna name him Redwing.”

#marvel black characters matter 2021 #samrhodey #misunderstandings #dumbasses #rhodeytony friendship #samnat friendship

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adventuresinwonderlust · 4 years

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Title: Ace and Min: Part 2

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader aka “Ace”

Warnings: Fluff, best friends to lovers, angst like a lot, slight crack, slight smut, abusive speak/language, talks of/and abusive behavior, talks of/toxic relationship

Rating: 18 and over

You wake the following morning, shower, and dress for the day. Your stomach turns and gurgles as the nerves of seeing Yoongi hit you. You can’t help but wonder where his head is at after last night. You wanted so badly to make love to him. When, you wonder, did these feelings for Yoongi sprout? Last night when you said I love you, the words meant so much more than the friendship the two of you shared. Perhaps they have been here all along, tucked away and buried by the foolish romance you carried on with Che. Why oh why had you allowed your stupid guilt for what Che would think soil the beauty of what was last night. “Can’t hide in here forever y/n.” You say aloud whilst looking yourself over in the mirror. You know today is going to be in the 90s so you wore short ripped jean shorts and a white cropped tank. Yoongi had made mention of having plans for the day so you wanted to be comfy.

You emerge from the bedroom and walk out into the living area/kitchen. No sign of Yoongi, could he be in his studio? He promised no work. You head into the kitchen to grab a glass of water and find a note scribbled on notebook paper tacked onto the fridge. ‘Went to the market to grab some essentials. Didn’t want to wake you. Will bring back breakfast. See you soon. Xo. Min.’ You smile to yourself and bring the note to your lips, kissing it gently as your nerves calm. He’s not mad, you think to yourself. “Please don’t eat that paper. I have bagels!” Yoongi laughs, lugging bags into the apartment. You jump up, dropping the note down on the counter. You head over to him and grab some bags from his hands. “You should’ve woken me. I would’ve gone to the market with you.” You tell him. He shrugs, emptying the groceries from their bags. He begins to put the items in their place and you join him, taking items from the bags and handing them to him. “Minmin, are you mad at me?” You ask, unable to help yourself. He chuckles from inside the fridge. “No, should I be?” He stands now and looks you over from head to toe, sending chills across your body. “Uh, no, I don’t know.” You ramble. Yoongi closes the fridge and takes to leaning against it, drinking you in with his intense stare. You feel your nipples begin to harden against their cotton material. He licks his lips watching you squirm. “Something’s up with you Ace. When you’re ready to tell me, I’ll be here to listen.” He nods gently and goes back to putting away the groceries. You quietly release the lustful sigh you were holding onto.

“It’s not what you think.” You tell him. “So, there is something.” He strains, placing something in an overhead cabinet. “What kind of bagels did you get?” You swallow nervously, changing the subject. Yoongi sighs, clearly frustrated. “Sesame. We should eat quickly actually. I have a lot planned today.” He reaches for the bag with the bagels and you tug his arm and pull him into an embrace. You breathe in his scent as you bury your head in his neck. “Don’t be mad at me Min. I am just sorting through my shit. Unfortunately, there’s a ton of it.” You whisper into his neck. He slowly runs his hands up your back and pulls you closer to him. “I don’t know if I could ever be mad at you Ace. I just want to be here for you, that’s all. I am good at sorting you know but if you need time to figure everything out on your own, I respect that. Just, promise you’ll tell me what’s going on just as soon as you’re done sorting?” You pull away slightly to come face to face with your best friend. “Promise.” You respond, planting a kiss on his plump cheek. “Ah, ok, enough mushy stuff. Let’s eat.” He whines, turning his attention back to the bagels.

After breakfast you both jump into Yoongi's car and head out. “So, what's on the agenda today?” You ask, turning on your phone for the day. “It's all a surprise Ace. You have to wait and see.” He smiles his wide gummy smile. You can't help but smile as well until the buzz of your phone draws your attention. Che strangely has only sent one message. “I have told you over and over how sorry I am. Please, we must work this out, just answer me. Are you at least alright?” Your heart pains stupidly at the thought that Che may be worried. “I'm fine but I meant what I said. We are over. Please stop contacting me.” You respond. You stare at your phone in anticipation of his response. It doesn't come and soon relief washes over you. “Good news?” Yoongi asks looking over at you and then straight at the road. You shrug, “What do you mean?” He bites his lip, “I don’t know, you sighed just now, like you got good news or something.” He explains. You shrug and shake your head. “No, not really.” You say, putting your phone away. “Still sorting.” He whispers. “Yeah, exactly.” You look out of the window now and realize as Yoongi slows to park where you are. You gasp. “Oh, my goodness! Is this the Grand Central Market?” You squeal. He laughs at your bright eyes and childlike demeanor. “Yes, yes. Food, culture, and….” Yoongi pauses while he rummaged through a bag behind your seat. He pulls out a gift bag and places it in your lap. “Unsuspecting subjects to use as fresh new material. Open it.” He points at the bag. You laugh nervously as you yank tissue paper from the gift bag. “Min, what is this?” You look down into the bag and can barely contain the tears that well up in your eyes. You pull out the brand-new Nikon camera from its shiny gift bag and rest it in your lap as fresh tears flow down your face. “It’s too much. I can’t accept this.” Your lip trembles. “Your old camera is used and a piece of shit honestly. You needed an upgrade. Happy early birthday Ace.” He laughs. You lean over the gear shift and wrap your arms tightly around his neck. “You are so amazing you know that?” You whisper. He laughs with his whole body when you release him. “I am happy you like it.” He comments. You quickly tear the camera out of the confines of its packaging and attach all the parts. “Did you open it?” You ask him, noticing how easy it was to remove. “I charged the battery for you.” He smiles. You squeal as you twist on the camera lens and turn it towards Yoongi. “Smile Min.” You sing song, focusing your camera. He throws his hand up to cover his face. “Ah, it’s for the Market, not me.” He whines.

“It’s my gift and I chose to shoot you first, so, stop being a baby and smile big for me Min.” You scold. He shyly covers his face before leaning back against the window and giving you a tight smile. You chuckle, snapping multiple photos of him. “Ok, change the pose.” He groans, deciding to throw up a peace sign. You drop your camera and instead snap a photo with your cell phone. He sucks his teeth. “What are you doing Ace?” He leans over to view your phone with you. “I am posting this on Instagram.” He groans again shyly. “Why? Che is gonna get upset.” He teases. You simply shrug. “Caption is ‘One of the greatest men in the world and he’s all mine!’ Posted!” You laugh, throwing the camera strap around your head and exiting the car. Yoongi soon follows you and you both enter the Market. The smells of fresh food, spices, and coffee hit your senses. “Hi, I’m y/n, I am a photographer, may I take photos of you guys while you browse?” You ask a young couple. They giggle and agree. “Thanks, just act natural and go about your activities like normal.” You tell them. They nod and begin walking through the market while you trail behind, snapping photos at random. “These look great,” The female tells you. You blush at her compliments, “Can you send me copies of these?” She asks. “Of course. Let me take your email.” You pull out your phone and take her information. You let out a happy sigh, followed by a squeal, turning to look at Yoongi who is flashing his gummy smile. “Let’s eat!” You shout. He nods enthusiastically. You grab Pupusas while Yoongi grabs Americano’s. You meet at the eating area and dive in. “What’s next on the agenda?” You ask. Yoongi lifts a finger in the air, cheeks full of food. Once he swallows and wipes his mouth, he shakes his head. “Today is all a surprise Ace, you have to just let it play out.” He shoves food in his mouth before you can ask another question of him. Before long, you guys are back in the car and headed to your next destination. “Sheesh, Instagram is blowing up Min.” You tease. You scroll through the comments and likes from your friends asking if you and Che broke up, if you and Yoongi were dating, tell Yoongi hi, and you just laugh out loud until you reach the last comment from Che himself, in all caps…. ‘TAKE THIS DOWN NOW!’ You roll your eyes and block him immediately from your friends list. You turn your phone and snap a photo of the focused Yoongi driving. He turns to you and gives a small smile and you snap another. “Why do you keep taking pictures of me?” He chuckles. “Because you’re gorgeous, that’s why.” Yoongi’s face drops and he begins to shift uncomfortably in his seat, tugging at his ear. “What’s wrong?” You ask. He releases a slow sigh. “Nothing.” He whispers.

He pulls into a parking spot at your next destination, “The Hollywood Sign?” You laugh. “Why are you laughing?” He smiles. “This is so touristy.” You tell him. “Ah but you ARE a tourist Ace. Come on we can get some nice pictures from the top.” You both begin to climb the long hill to the top and you’re sure to snap photos of people in the park and along the trail. Once at the top, you find yourself out of breath and trailing behind Yoongi. “Its gorgeous up here.” You spin around and snap some scenic photos. “Ace check this out.” Yoongi calls your attention to his elongated shadow and how it cascades up the hill. You both laugh as you stand beside him your shadow also taking an elongated shape. You both laugh and wiggle your bodies, creating weird shapes that you soon snap photos of. “Wait! Let’s take one for Insta.” He groans but wiggles his body strangely anyway as you capture a hilarious boomerang of your shadows. You both laugh reviewing the video and you post it with tears in your eyes. “This is too funny Min.” You laugh. “Okay, hurry, we have to get to the last stop before the sun sets.” He grabs hold of your hand and your heart seizes, butterflies filling your stomach. He tugs you along down the hill and back to the car. “You are really going to love the last stop Ace.” He says. You giggle excitedly as you’re yanked along. As you make it back to the car and Yoongi takes off you can’t help but think of what life will be like when your trip is over. It makes you uneasy. While this is all a lovely distraction, you’ll have to head home at some point to collect your things and face Che. “Penny for your thoughts.” Yoongi's voice snaps you back. “I was just thinking that this has been an awesome day! You really have outdone yourself Min. I am so happy, probably the happiest I’ve been in a long time.” You smile at him. He smiles wide, gums showing. “I am happy that you’re happy but its not over yet.” He smirks, pointing past you. You turn to your right to catch a glimpse of the beach, boardwalk, and lit up Ferris Wheel! You gasp audibly causing Yoongi to chuckle. “Minmin!” You cry out. Yoongi circles a bit before finding a parking spot on the side street. You both walk over towards the pier just as the sun begins to set. You pull out your camera and snap pictures. “Its gorgeous.” You comment. “Like you.” Yoongi states. You turn your camera lens towards him to his dismay. “Pose for me.” You beg. He turns his back toward you and you capture shots of him staring off into the sunset. “Beautiful!” You shout. “Would you like us to take a few of the two of you?” A woman passing by with her child asks. “Sure!” You exclaim, pulling out your cell phone and setting it to the camera. You hand it to her and run over to Yoongi's side. “Give me a few poses, you two!” The woman shouts. You both start out with your backs to her, staring off into the sunset. Then turn to face her, moving in close, wrapping your arms around each other. “So cute, that one,” She calls out, “Hug, kiss, something, show us some love.” She waves her hands at the two of you. You both chuckle nervously but you pull Yoongi close and rest your head on his chest. He runs his hand up your back, resting it on the nape of your neck, both cuddled up while the woman snaps photos, cooing at you both. She moves towards you and hands the camera off. “Such a cute couple. Have fun!” She waves goodbye. You and Yoongi laugh and quickly review the photos. “She’s got a good eye. I should post one of these.” You note. Yoongi shrugs. You shrug back and post your cuddle photo. “Come on Min, show me the pier!” You smile wide, pulling him along.

The pier is jam packed with people taking pictures, buying food, and selling items no one really needs. You're captivated by all the characters and find yourself getting lost snapping random shots of the passersby in their element. “Give me that,” Yoongi says, yanking the camera from you. “Pose for me Ace. Smile big.” He starts clicking away. “Yoongi,” You protest, trying to grab the camera back with no luck. “Stand by the Route 66 sign.” He urges. You do as you’re told and lean against the sign. Yoongi snaps pictures of you with your camera before waving you to keep walking. “New pose. Act natural.” He directs. You can't help but giggle at his attempt at being a photographer. You continue walking on along the pier, sipping only to watch a man shoot what appears to be a lit-up ball into the air. You watch in awe as it swirls colorfully in the sky before descending back down onto his launcher. You turn to Yoongi completely fascinated to find him still snapping pictures. You smile wide as he drops the camera to meet your gaze. He points over towards the waterfront, where there are some benches. You nod and head over with him. “God, what a magical night Min. This was well thought out. Better than I deserve.” You say. Yoongi's brow furrows. “You deserve the world Ace, don't let anyone tell you different.” He replies softly. You can no longer stand the distance, no longer take the wanting, you needed to be close to Yoongi and fast. You lean in quickly and press your lips gently against his, wrapping your arms around his neck. He can’t help but grasp your waist, deepening the kiss before pulling away. “We can’t Ace, I’m sorry but after last night and what about Che? You haven't even mentioned him once. He’s gonna freak out if he finds out.” Just the sound of his name drives you wild and you can't take it anymore. Your blood boils over and you can almost feel the anger fill your throat like bile. You had to come clean and be honest with the one person who deserved more than anyone. “Fuck Che Yoongi! He’s been cheating on me okay and with my fucking boss no less. I had to quit my job; I came here knowing that there is nothing left for me there. I just picked up and left it all behind Min,” You sob, your mouth becoming dry and brain running a mile a minute as you try to get it all out, “And sometimes he hurts me. I just tried to play it off and say that’s just Che you know and Che well, he can be mean sometimes and controlling. At first it was just name calling but eventually it became a shove or a grab. He always apologized, always made up for it. I thought he would be better,” Your voice cracks and lips tremble as fresh tears stream down your face, “Then when I found out he was cheating again, I just, I couldn't take it anymore. I felt so used, so stupid. I knew I had to leave. I had to get away. Oh, God, you probably think I’m stupid. I feel stupid. I know I should’ve left sooner. I should’ve been honest sooner, with myself, with you. You're all I have left Min. You’re the only one who really gets me, and I wanted to tell you I really did, but you moved and had become so busy. I didn't want to burden you. You had so many amazing things going on and you deserved to be proud and happy, and I didn't want to bring you down with my shit life. I’m so sorry Yoongi, about last night, about not telling you sooner. Everything.” You tremble, tears streaming uncontrollably down your face. Yoongi stands before you, eyes widen in shock as he takes you in his arms, squeezing you tightly. “Y/n, I’m so sorry. I can’t believe I've been so blind to all you’ve been going through. I knew Che could be jealous and overbearing but never to this extent. I am so sorry. I'll never let him hurt you again, that I can promise you. I don’t care where I am or what I’m doing you can tell me anything. I'm always here for you. You're my everything you hear me. I'll never let you go through anything alone. We are a team and I’d do anything for you. I- I love you.” He whispers, kissing your forehead and pulling you closer to his chest. His eyes well with tears as anger hits him with the thought of Che hurting you. You squeeze him tighter knowing that this is where you truly belong. You lift your head up to look him in the eyes. “I love you too Min, I really meant it when I said it last night.” He runs his fingers along your cheek, and you lean forward to plant a soft, warm kiss on his mouth. He is hesitant at first, until you part your lips, allowing him access to your tongue. He swirls his tongue around yours with ease, teasing and caressing until you both fall into rhythm. He finally breaks the kiss, looking over your face, “Let's go home.” He whispers. You nod allowing him to lead you back to the car.

He holds your hand the entire ride to his apartment, opting to drive with one hand no matter how much you protest. He rubs at your knuckles with his thumb, pulling your hand up occasionally to meet his mouth. He plants kisses along your hand before resting back down. “I’m sorry I waited so long to tell you everything.” He shakes his head. “Stop apologizing, you have nothing to be sorry for. If I knew he was hurting you. I swear to God….” “Don't,” You cut him off, “I don't want him to have any more control. That's over with now. I feel so free having come clean. I only wish I was honest with myself and you sooner.” You squeeze his hand. “Well just know you can stay with me for a long as you want. You say you have nothing but that’s not true. All you need is right here in LA, with me. You never have to go back. You can find work out here and I can take care of you until you get back on your feet.” You giggle at the thought. “What? Why are you laughing?” He pouts, his cheeks flushing. “I think you're amazing, that's all. I don't deserve you.” He sucks his teeth. “You deserve the world Ace. Just let me be the one to give to you.” He practically whispers. You smile tightly, overcome with immense love for him. Why hadn’t you just dated him sooner? You wonder to yourself. What would life look like if the two of you had just become more than friends before Che ever entered the picture?

Yoongi releases your hand and you realize that you guys are in the parking garage of his building. “Come on Ace, I’ll make us a quick dinner and we can cuddle up on the couch before bed.” He winks, exiting the car. You grab your camera and follow into the elevator with him. He looks you up and down before getting shy and looking away. “I can’t believe how late it is.” You note, looking at the time on your phone. “Time flies when you’re having fun.” Yoongi replies, staring up at the numbers. “You did not just say that corny ass line Min.” You both laugh out loud. “Ahhh,” He moans, “I was trying to sound cool.” He shrugs, covering his face with his hand. “You don’t need to try to be cool for me Min. I already think the world of you.” You tell him while you pull his hand from his face. He licks his lips moving over to you, taking you by the back of the neck and bringing you to meet his lips. You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to your body as he takes you by the back of the legs and lifts you off the ground, wrapping you around his waist. “Guess we can skip dinner.” He teases between kisses. You hum in agreement as you arrive on his floor. He carefully carries you of the elevator sure not to break the kiss. You giggle into his mouth as he moans loudly. “You wanna take your hands off my girl Min?” An all too familiar voice cuts in. You and Yoongi both turn out of breath to see Che standing by Yoongi’s apartment door. Quickly you slide down Yoongi’s body and back onto your feet. “What are you doing here Che?” You whisper in shock. “I came for my girl.” He states firmly, eyes locked on Yoongi. Che steps forward causing Yoongi to step in front of you. Che chuckles, “What are you gonna do Min? Fight me? I’ll break you in two.” Yoongi smirks, “You can try.” “No! Don’t, please!” You yell as the two men rush forward, crashing into one another. “Yoongi!”

To be continued….

#bts smut #suga x reader #suga x you #yoongi smut #yoongi fluff

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jcmorgenstern · 5 years

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@superohclair oh god okay please know these are all just incoherent ramblings so like, idk, please feel free to add on or ignore me if im just wildly off base but this is a bad summary of what ive been thinking about and also my first titans/batman meta?? (also, hi!)

okay so for the disclaimer round: I am not an actual cultural studies major, nor do I have an extensive background in looking at the police/military industrial complex in media. also my comics knowledge is pretty shaky and im a big noob(I recently got into titans, and before that was pretty ignorant of the dceu besides batman) so I’ll kind of focus in on the show and stuff im more familiar with and apologize in advance?. basically im just a semi-educated idiot with Opinions, anyone with more knowledge/expertise please jump in! this is literally just the bullshit I spat out incoherently off the top of my head. did i mention im a comics noob? because im a comics noob.

so on a general level, I think we can all agree that batman as a cultural force is somewhat on the conservative side, if not simply due to its age and commercial positioning in American culture. there are a lot of challenges and nuances to that and it’s definitely expanding and changing as DC tries to position itself in the way that will...make the most money, but all you have to do is take a gander through the different iterations of the stories in the comics and it’ll smack you in the fucking face. like compare the first iteration of Jason keeping kids out of drugs to the titans version and you’ve got to at least chuckle. at the end of the day, this is a story about a (white male) billionaire who fights crime.

to be fair, I’d argue the romanticization of the police isn’t as aggressive as it could be—they are most often presented as corrupt and incompetent. However, considering the main cop characters depicted like Jim Gordon, the guys in Gotham (it’s been a while since I saw it, sorry) are often the romanticized “good few” (and often or almost always white cis/het men), that’s on pretty shaky ground. I don’t have the background in the comics strong enough to make specific arguments, so I’ll cede the point to someone who does and disagrees, but having recently watched a show that deals excellently with police incompetence, racism, and brutality (7 Seconds on Netflix), I feel at the very least something is deeply missing. like, analysis of race wrt police brutality in any aspect at all whatsoever.

I think it can be compellingly read that batman does heavily play into the military/police industrial complex due to its takes on violence—just play the Arkham games for more than an hour and you’ll know what I mean. to be a little less vague, even though batman as a franchise valorizes “psychiatric treatment” and “nonviolence,” the entire game seems pretty aware it characterizes treatment as a madhouse and nonviolence as breaking someone’s back or neck magically without killing them because you’re a “good guy.” while it is definitely subversive that the franchise even considers these elements at all, they don’t always do a fantastic job living up to them.

and then when you consider the fetishization of tools of violence both in canon and in the fandom, it gets worse. same with prisons—if anything it dehumanizes people in prisons even more than like, cop shows in general, which is pretty impressive(ly bad). like there’s just no nuance afforded and arkham is generally glamorized. the fact that one of the inmates is a crocodile assassin, I will admit, does not help. im not really sure how to mitigate that when, again, one of the inmates is a crocodile assassin, but I think my point still stands. fuck you, killer croc. (im just kidding unfuck him or whatever)

not to take this on a Jason Todd tangent but I was thinking about it this afternoon and again when thinking about that cop scene again and in many ways he does serve as a challenge to both batman’s ideology as well as the ideology of the franchise in general. his depiction is always a bit of a sticking point and it’s always fascinating to me to see how any given adaptation handles it. like Jason’s “”street”” origin has become inseparable from his characterization as an angry, brash, violent kid, and that in itself reflects a whole host of cultural stereotypes that I might argue occasionally/often dip into racialized tropes (like just imagine if he wasn’t white, ok). red hood (a play on robin hood and the outlaws, as I just realized...today) is in my exposure/experience mostly depicted as a villain, but he challenges batman’s no-kill philosophy both on an ethical and practical level. every time the joker escapes he kills a whole score more of innocent people, let alone the other rogues—is it truly ethical to let him live or avoid killing him for the cost of one life and let others die?

moreover, batman’s ““blind”” faith in the justice system (prisons, publicly-funded asylum prisons, courts) is conveniently elided—the story usually ends when he drops bad guy of the day off at arkham or ties up the bad guys and lets the police come etc etc. part of this is obviously bc car chases are more cinematic than dry court procedurals, but there is an alternate universe where bruce wayne never becomes batman and instead advocates for the arkham warden to be replaced with someone competent and the system overhauled, or in programs encouraging a more diverse and educated police force, or even into social welfare programs. (I am vaguely aware this is sometimes/often part of canon, but I don’t think it’s fair to say it’s the main focus. and again, I get it’s not nearly as cinematic).

overall, I think the most frustrating thing about the batman franchise or at least what I’ve seen or read of it is that while it does attempt to deal with corruption and injustice at all levels of the criminal justice system/government, it does so either by treating it as “just how life is” or having Dick or Jim Gordon or whoever the fuckjust wipe it out by “eliminating the dirty cops,” completely ignoring the non-fantasy ways these problems are dealt with in real life. it just isn’t realistic. instead of putting restrictions on police violence or educating cops on how to use their weapons or putting work into eradicating the culture of racism and prejudice or god basically anything it’s just all cinematized into the “good few” triumphing over the bad...somehow. its always unsatisfying and ultimately feels like lip service to me, personally.

this also dovetails with the very frustrating way mental health/”insanity” or “madness” is dealt with in canon, very typical of mainstream fiction. like for example:“madness is like gravity, all it takes is a little push.” yikes, if by ‘push’ you mean significant life stressors, genetic load, and environemntal influences, then sure. challenge any dudebro joker fanboy to explain exactly what combination of DSM disorders the joker has to explain his “””insanity””” and see what happens. (these are, in fact, my plans for this Friday evening. im a hit at parties).

anyway I do really want to wax poetic about that cop scene in 1x06 so im gonna do just that! honestly when I first saw that I immediately sat up like I’d sat on a fucking tack, my cultural studies senses were tingling. the whole “fuck batman” ethos of the show had already been interesting to me, esp in s1, when bruce was basically standing in for the baby boomers and dick being our millennial/GenX hero. I do think dick was explicitly intended to appeal to a millennial audience and embody the millennial ethos. By that logic, the tension between dick and Jason immediately struck me as allegorical (Jason constantly commenting on dick being old, outdated, using slang dick doesn’t understand and generally being full of youthful obnoxious fistbumping energy).

Even if subconsciously on the part of the writers, jason’s over-aggressive energy can be read as a commentary on genZ—seen by mainstream millennial/GenX audiences as taking things too far. Like, the cops in 1x06 could have been Nick Zucco’s hired men or idk pretty much anyone, yet they explicitly chose cops and even had Jason explain why he deliberately went after them for being cops so dick (cop) could judge him for it. his rationale? he was beaten up by cops on the street, so he’s returning the favor. he doesn’t have the focused “righteous” rage of batman or dick/nightwing towards valid targets, he just has rage at the world and specifically the system—framed here as unacceptable or fanatical. as if like, dressing up like a bat and punching people at night is, um, totally normal and uncontroversial.

on a slightly wider scope, the show seems to internally struggle with its own progressive ethos—on the one hand, they hire the wildly talented chellah man, but on the other hand they will likely kill him off soon. or they cast anna diop, drawing wrath from the loudly racist underbelly of fandom, but sideline her. perhaps it’s a genuine struggle, perhaps they simply don’t want to alienate the bigots in the fanbase, but the issue of cops stuck out to me when I was watching as an social issue where they explicitly came down on one side over the other. jason’s characterization is, I admit and appreciate, still nuanced, but I’d argue that’s literally just bc he’s a white guy and a fan favorite. cast an actor of color as Jason and see how fast fandom and the writer’s room turns on him.

anyway i don’t really have the place to speak about what an explicitly nonwhite!cop!dick grayson would look like, but I do think it would be a fascinating and exciting place to start in exploring and correcting the kind of vague and nebulous complaints i raise above. (edit: i should have made more clear, i mean in the show, which hasn’t dealt with dick’s heritage afaik). also, there’s something to be said about the cop vs detective thing but I don’t really have the brain juice or expertise to say it? anyway if you got this far i hope it was at least interesting and again pls jump in id love to hear other people’s takes!!

tldr i took two (2) cultural studies classes and have Opinions

#wow this was a hot fucking mess #i tried to be organized but my thoughts weren't coming out super well #again anyone interested please feel free to jump in or correct me at any place you feel like #i die on the ''jason todd would be treated horribly by fandom if he were a character of color' hill tho #i could go on about 1x06 until im blue in the face but that's the uhh overview. the executive summary.#dc titans #i need meta tags and shit for this show #god help me in too deep #finding the meta side of fandom was a GIFT tho i love this shit #so excited

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hamitome--imagines · 7 years

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Loss and Comfort

Hamilsquad x Reader

Modern

Request: My dog died today. Would you mind writing a hamilsquad x reader where they cheer the reader up? I could really use it.

Requested by anonymous

A/N: So, I haven’t proof read all of this but I wanted to post it. I’m not sure how much this is really like, dealing with loss, but here it is. I hope it’s still acceptable. I just kinda wrote about dealing with different thing so interpret this how you will. And Anon, I know losing a pet sucks so I hope you’re feeling alright. And now, enjoy!

Word Count: 2,890 ~~ You weren’t ever good at dealing with loss, and that pain felt like it was suffocating you right now. You were done crying, you were out of tears. You were sat in your room, knees dawn up, and your arms were wrapped around them. You knew the guys were only a room away, only a few feet. Yet, you stayed where you were. They had to be fed up with you by now. You he'd been a wreck for the past few days and using them for support and comfort. So you stayed alone in your room, curling in on yourself.

You barely registered the sound of someone knocking on your door. Since you hardly heard it, you didn’t call out to let the person it. So Hercules cautiously pushed the door open and peered in. “Y/N?” He called out. You looked at him blankly. “You alright?” He asked as he walked in and perched himself on the edge of the of your bed.

You blinked at him. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.” You told him, hoping you sounded more confident than you felt. And unfortunately for you, Hercules looked less than convinced.

“You sure?” He asked. You nodded vehemently. “Are you done lying?” He asked.

“I’m not lying.” You tried. Hercules just raised a curious brow. “Ok, maybe I’m lying.” You admitted. “But it’s fine. Really.” You insisted.

“No it’s not.” Hercules said. “Why didn’t you come and talk to us?” Hercules asked.

“It’s just…” You trailed off. You sighed. “I’ve been bugging you for days now. I want you guys to be able to not worry about me.”

“But we don’t mind.” Hercules said. “We want to help you get through this. You’re suffering.”

You gave a weak smile, barely a twitch in the corners of your mouth, grateful to have them here and helping you. Still, you felt guilty for making them be there for you all the time. “Thanks Herc, but you really can leave me be. I’ll be fine.”

“Have you slept lately?” He asked instead.

“What?” You asked in surprise.

“Have you slept lately? And I don’t mean a short or quick nap. Have you slept longer than eight hours in one night lately?” He asked once more.

“Uh no. I don’t think so. I guess I don’t know…” You muttered.

“Alright. I’m not gonna not gonna lecture you.” Hercules began. “I’m not going to give the traditional ‘It’ll get better’ speech cause you’ve heard it before. But I am gonna tell you than you need to sleep.”

“But I can’t.” You muttered again.

“Come on, it’s easy.” He said, trying to make a light joke. Hercules nudged you over so you weren’t in the center of the bed but off to one side. Hercules took up the other side. “Lay down.” He instructed as he laid down on his side. You did what he asked, you didn’t have much of a choice. You didn’t have anything else to do. “Now close your eyes.” He said.

“It’s not that easy.” You complained.

“It is if you try it.” Hercules commented, keeping his eyes closed. You huffed and laid down on your back with your eyes trained on the ceiling. “You aren’t trying very hard.” Hercules commented. He opened his eyes and faced you. “Turn over.” So you laid on your stomach with your head turned to face him.

He brought his hand up and started rubbing slow circles on your back. It was soothing and your eyes drifted shut, but it wasn’t enough to ease you into sleep. But it seemed Hercules knew that. He started humming softly. You opened your eyes a bit in surprise. Hercules eyes were closed as he hummed to you. He hardly ever did. He claimed he wasn’t that good even though everyone insisted otherwise. So you closed your eyes and treasured the deep baritone that was flowing form the man next to you. It helped you slip into the best rest that you’ve had in a long time. Even a better rest than before you were so distraught.

—

When you woke up, Hercules had abandoned you. However, he had wrapped you up in your fluffiest blanket and tucked you in. He had turned the lights off, leaving only a dim lamp on. You checked the time and found you had slept all through the afternoon and night, it was now the next morning.

You felt rested, but no better than you had felt. You decided to stop spending so much time in your bed. However, you did take quite awhile to leave the warm cocoon your blankets had created. Taking a blanket and wrapping it around you, you trudged out to the living room. The only person present was John. He looked up at you with a small smile. “Morning, Sleepyhead.”

He had his sketchbook open in his lap. He had a stick of charcoal in one hand, and eraser in the other. He had some sticky tack on the arm rest beside him, along with a blending stick that already looked well used. The tip was a dark and the charcoal traveling along the sides.

You cautiously walked up. John was always drawing but the one thing he hated, was people watching. It was hard to see the final project unless you’re the one drawing it. He didn’t like people looking over his shoulder and not knowing what he was creating. So you dropped on the opposite side of the couch.

“How are you feeling?” He asked, not looking up from his book.

“F-fine.” you stammered uncertainly. That brought his gaze from his book and up to you. His curls were pulled back but a few had come lose and now hung around his face. He just raised an eyebrow. “Look, I’m ok. I’m done crying. See?” You said.

“I see that. I also know that doesn’t mean you’re ok.” He said. He laid his charcoal and eraser down on the page he was drawing on. “I know a lot about loss, Y/N.” He said. His mom. Something he rarely talked about. “I know that hurt doesn’t mean tears and screaming. You can hurt just as bad by being silent. I know I was.”

You bit your bottom lip, a little embarrassed to be caught in your lie, and nodded. “It still hurts. I just wanna forget it for a while. I wanna focus on something that doesn’t hurt so much.”

John sat in silent thought for just a moment. He patted the seat next to him. “Come ‘ere.” He instructed. You quirked a brow but did as he asked. “Now, I don’t know if it’ll help you but I find it’s calming and mesmerizing to watch those quick paint things.” With that simple explanation he picked up his charcoal again and started drawing. You watched as he made simple marks that slowly developed into something bigger. He would grumbled and erase something, or pick up the sticky tack and press it to the paper to take some lead and leave it a shade lighter, or he’d use the blending stick to mix the shades together.

You understood what he meant by it being mesmerizing. You couldn’t take your eyes from the paper as the random marks slowly became a picture, a perfect image in black and white. “Wow.” You breathed at the picture. You wanted to run your hands over it but you knew that would smudge all the perfectly placed charcoal so you refrained from doing so.

“Want me to draw another picture?” John asked.

“Only if you want to.” You told him. You didn’t want him doing this all on your behalf.

“Of course I want to.” He brushed the hair back from his face, smudging himself with charcoal. And you found a laugh escape you. John grinned broadly at the sound. It wasn’t much of a laugh, but it was one and that’s what counted. John, still smiling, pressed the charcoal to a fresh page and made the first line. You watched, excited to see what it turned into and to be distracted for just a bit longer.

—

The apartment was quiet. You hated it. You absolutely didn’t fault the boys for continuing their lives. They had a life that didn’t resolve around you. Still, you didn’t know what to do now. Silence let your mind wander. Thankfully, it wasn’t too long before the front door opened. “Y/N.” Alexander called out in a singsong voice.

You wandered out into the living room. You were wearing sweatpants and one of Lafayette’s sweatshirts. It hung halfway down your thighs and the sleeves hung past your fingers. “What are you doing home?” You asked. He had work.

“I took a day off.” He said. He walked up and handed you a coffee from your favorite shop.

“Why?” You whined.

“Because. You and the guys and Washington are always insisting that I take time off. I decided to listen.” He said as he sat onto the couch and pulled out his laptop.

“You never listen to others, Alexander. At least not about taking a day off.” You accused with a glare.

He gave you a defeated look. “Fine. When you start dressing like you used to, or waking at a normal time, or if you at least leave the house, then us guys will feel alright leaving you here alone.” He snapped. He actually snapped at you. None of the other guys had. You weren’t sure if this was a good sign or not. But then Alexander let out a sigh. “Sorry.”

“No. It’s fine. At least you’re not tiptoeing around me like the other guys.” You muttered and sat down next to him and put the coffee on the table in front of you.

“Can you blame us?” He asked.

“I guess not.” You toyed with the sleeve of the sweatshirt. “But I hate it.” You let slip.

“How come?” Alexander asked. He moved his laptop from his lap and onto the coffee table.

“I’m not broken.” You muttered. “But you guys are acting like I am. I know I’ve been distant lately, but that doesn’t mean broken.” You told him.

“Then you need to tell us that.” Alexander told you with a small, understanding smile. He grabbed his laptop and let the conversation drop. You were thankful for that. You hadn’t meant to let that out, but now at least one of the guys knew. The two of you fell into silence. You sipped your coffee and he started typing.

At first it didn’t bother you. The slight clacking of the guys was barely even noticeable. But as the silence grew on, you noticed it more and more. You glanced over at the laptop with an ill disguised look of hate. “You ok?” Alexander asked with an amused chuckle.

“Huh?” You asked, the angry look being replaced with one of confusion.

“You’re glaring at my computer like your stare will make it explode or something.”

“Oh, sorry. I was just thinking.” You muttered.

“About?” He asked.

“Nothing. Don’t worry about it.” You said with a tiny smile.

“Alright.” He said. And went back to typing. You sighed in annoyance, Alexander was so focused on typing and working that he didn’t notice. You clenched your fist tighter, slightly crushing the cup in your hand. That jarred you back to reality. You took the empty cup and threw it away before sitting back on the couch. You pulled your phone out of your pocket. Still, the sound of clacking keys penetrated your senses.

You glared once more at the laptop. At this time, Alexander wasn’t paying attention to you. But the sound continued without end. Then you snapped. “Will you stop?!”

Alexander froze and looked at you with a small amount of shock. “What am I doing?” He asked.

“N-nothing.” You stuttered. “I-it’s just that the, uh, typing. It was annoying. I d-don’t know why. But it was so annoying.” You said, embarrassed to actually admit it out loud.

“Hey, it’s fine.” Alexander soothed.

“I told you to stop doing that.” You complained.

“I stopped typing…” He said.

“No, the tiptoeing thing.” You reiterated.

“Look, the typing was bothering you, so I’ll stop. I don’t want to be annoying. I’m already months ahead in work, I don’t need to be doing any work today.” He said. “I’m not tiptoeing around you, I’m trying to be considerate.”

You gave him a weak smile. “Thanks.”

—

You sat in your room, alone. Most of the time that was better. That way if your emotions snapped, no one was around to witness it. But sometimes your friends didn’t understand when you wanted to be alone. “Mon amie!” You wondered if it was better or worse that they wouldn’t leave you alone. Lafayette came bursting into your room. “Mon amie, I understand you’re busy moping-”

“Hey!” You snapped.

“You didn’t want us, how you say, tiptoeing around you? So I decided to be cru.” He said with a shrug. You could only nod in understanding, it was what you wanted. “But you must listen to this!” He exclaimed. He had his laptop open with some new soundtrack.

“Is it French?” You asked cautiously.

“Non.” He said.

“Alright.” So Lafayette sat beside you and started the first song on the album. You felt your head start to nod with the beat. It was catchy. The album was about an hour. You got a few giggle as Lafayette got over excited and started dancing animatedly. You were upset when the album ended.

You were distracted, and you liked that. “Well, mon amie, I just had to show you that un album. I’ll leave you to your sulking.”

“Hey Laf?” You called. He stilled and turned to look at you. “You have any other music that I haven’t heard yet?” You asked. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him smile bright. Though, you weren’t sure if it was because you were actively doing something besides being upset, or if it was because you just subjected yourself to all of Lafayette’s music collection.

—

“Mon amie!” It was Lafayette calling your name once more. You groaned and buried your face in your pillows. You did not want to deal with this right now. But your door flung open anyway and Lafayette plopped onto your bed. “Time to get dressed.”

“No it’s not.” You said into your pillows. It was muffled but loud enough for Lafayette to hear.

“You want us to stop tiptoeing around you?” It was John’s voice coming from your doorway. “Then we are hauling you out of the house. Get you immersed in society.”

“Look, I’m glad you stopped treating me like a piece of glass, but I really want to be alone.” You tired once more. You sat up in your bed but stayed wrapped in the covers.

“Well, that’s kind of the problem.” Now it was Alexander who came over and also sat on your bed. John and Hercules followed suit and you were sat on your bed that was barely big enough. “I mean, the four of us have dealt with this shit too.” Loss. “And I remember wanting nothing more than to be alone when everyone was trying to coax me to do something.”

“And while being alone seems like the best option sometimes, it can crushing sometime.” John said.

“We’re just worried about you mon amie.” Lafayette said.

“We just want you to get out for a little bit.” Hercules said. “Let’s just go grab a bite to eat at that little cafe down the street then you can come back. You can be alone or we can put in some stupid movie and all relax on the couch.”

You looked at all of them, staring at you expectantly, hiding their worry well. You sighed. “Fine. Two hours tops.”

The boys all let out some sound of celebration snd jumped from the bed. Lafayette helped you find something that was comfortable and cute. Feeling cute once more helped you feel a little bit better. So you went with the boys to get some lunch. You found your mood was just a bit lighter due to the change in scenery and from merely doing something with the boys.

Once you got home you were tired. It wasn’t a very hard day but when you always feel drained, getting lunch is still hard. So you trudged through the door and straight to your room. You grabbed a few blankets and hauled them to the living room. “Movie?” You asked. The boys smiled and made room for you on the couch. You plopped down between Alexander and John while Hercules started up some movie you had seen a thousand times and Lafayette went to grab snacks.

You weren’t too focused on the movie, more so the company around you. Since you had seen the movie, the five of you were talking over the movie and cracking jokes. You smiled and laugh a little bit find solace with your friends. The pain never really stop but it was a lot less noticeable. So after than, you made the effort to be with your friends and it helped a lot. Things did get better, as they do, but it was a lot easier with your friends helping you.

#hamilton #hamilton imagine #hamilsquad #hamilsquad x reader #hamilsquad imagine

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