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soukokuwu · 4 years

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Sushi.. sushi.. What if.. hear me out. An organization or something finds out Chooya has an S/O and targets them. Threatens to kill them, you could make it that they kill them. I dunno— You have so much fluff requests and I just wanna.. allow you to make some angst and break my fragile heart.

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➥ angst [chuuya x reader]

➥ warning/s: death

➥ word count: 2.5k

➥ summary: the things that make chuuya human.

➥ notes: seven! i made this a full fic too if you don’t mind and and i hope this can make you sad 😔✊🏼

Life is a series of moments.

Meeting you was arguably the best moment of Chuuya’s life. Being with you was probably the best decision he’s ever made. Every moment with you was fleeting, but precious.

Being a Port Mafia executive didn’t allow for a lot of free time, especially not for someone as formidable as Nakahara Chuuya. Most days he is worked to the bone, and he can’t seem to refuse orders no matter how much you nagged at him to take care of himself.

You never once made him feel bad about it though. No matter how many times he’s showed up late to meet you, or how many times he’s had to cancel dates. Even when he had to celebrate your birthday late because something urgent came up that Mori absolutely needed him to handle that night.

Chuuya always made up for it. Always surprising you with his sweetness, although you’ve never expected him to do anything for you. The mafia was very important to him, and you knew that. You accepted that, why would you have agreed to be with him otherwise? You understood very well that it meant busy schedules and danger, but you loved him more than you would ever allow yourself to be petty or scared of his enemies.

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Life is a series of moments; some more fleeting than others.

Chuuya remembered all of them. Some were small yet important moments.

The first moment he saw you walk into the cafe. All he had wanted was to spend lunch alone, away from headquarters, away from all the headache. You were a soothe to his migraines, something he had not bargained for. Thank god the cafe was packed and he was the nearest to you; you wouldn’t have sat with him otherwise.

The first moment your hands brushed against each other on the first date; it was a simple movie date. The cliché hands brushing against each other on the armrest kind of thing. Where he would usually gag upon thinking of such things, when he replayed it in his head with you as the subject, he’d always smile at the memory.

The first moment your lips found each other, the way your tongues danced in harmony with the taste of wine still lingering in each other’s tongues. How could he ever forget? It was the first time his heart pounded so loudly he felt it might jump out of his chest. That was when he asked you to be his girlfriend. And you gave him the answer he prayed for.

The first moment you slept over and it was filled with innocent intimacy— Chuuya’s chest pressed up against your back, his arms wrapped around your waist and the scent of your hair permeating his senses. He remembered you chuckling as you told him to quit looking at you and sleep, and he remembered the way goosebumps formed on your skin as he whispered, low and raspy, into your ear a “goodnight, my princess.”

Then there were subtle moments that slowly spiralled into something bigger.

The first moment he visited your parents with you, and they had been so warm and welcoming. Had it not been for them, Chuuya would have never known ‘parental love’. They were people with such kind souls; they accepted him as an ability user, said that he was welcome anytime, even if you weren’t there with him. And he immediately knew where you got your kind nature from. They never expected anything more from him than the usual; to treat their daughter right. And damn right he would. When you had gone to the restroom they looked at him with such genuity as they said they’d be blessed if they ended up with such a sweet son-in-law like him.

The first moment you talked with him about the possibilities of having a family, expecting him to freak out but instead he agreed. He’d be honoured to have one with you. And you told him he’d have to come up with a heck of a proposal to lock you in forever. The both of you were aware of what a lie that was, though— you’ve had each other’s hearts since the first few dates, there was no way you’d say no.

But the moment he treasured the most? The life-changing moments.

The day he actually did propose, in a simple humble way— in front of the only people who mattered: you and your parents. He had asked for your parents’ permission to take your hand in marriage beforehand, and they easily agreed, welcoming him with open arms. He still remembered that being the first day your father called him ‘son’, and they had shared the warmest hug he’s ever felt from anyone other than you.

The moment you said ‘yes’ and the both of you had tears in your eyes. He had slipped the ring through your finger and got up from his knee, hugging his now-fiancée, your parents clapping in the background.

“I’ll protect you forever, my princess,” Chuuya vowed.

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But life-changing moments could mean both good and bad, and that day set the tone for the rest of Chuuya’s life, whether he liked it or not.

“Okay but promise you’ll be back later?” you had asked him, getting up to send him off at the door for yet another mission.

“I promise, my princess,” he replied, smiling at you and giving you a quick peck on the cheek. Chuuya noticed your wide grin and arched a brow. “What’re you so smiley about? Has all the wedding planning got to your head?”

You playfully punched him on the shoulder and looked around to make sure no one was near— the both of you had been at your parents’ house to ask them for opinions on the wedding. It was coming up in a month and everything was almost settled. Almost.

“Hmm, I’m not too sure about it yet, but I’ll leave it as a surprise when you get home later,” you teased, sticking out your tongue.

Chuuya let out a resigned sigh, ruffling your hair. “Fine, I’ll try to be back as fast as I can then,” he told you, giving you another kiss before he turned to go.

And he did make it back.

Just not in time.

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Please be okay, please be okay.

It replayed like a chant in his head as he continued to make a beeline to get to you. Flashes of your smile crossed his mind as he sped through the city on his bike, tears already streaming down his face. He prayed and prayed for your safety, although the rational part of him knew that it was useless. The only one who could do anything was him.

He should’ve caught on sooner. The enemies were buying time by drawling out the fight with him. They were angry at the Port Mafia— more specifically, with Chuuya— for killing their leader. And they wanted him to pay for it.

But they knew they weren’t going to get his head.

So they went for the next best thing: you.

Their earlier conversation replayed in Chuuya’s head, no matter how much he begged for it to stop.

“You’re the vessel of a god, of Arahabaki, aren’t you?” the new leader had taunted, unfazed by Chuuya’s presence. “You’ve never known fear, or danger, have you? To be weak, to be... human.”

“Get to the point, asshole.”

“I don’t really have one, except...” and he had grinned, the most triumphant grin he’s ever had. “I know your weakness.”

Chuuya had rolled his eyes. “Then come at me, if you dare,” the redhead had coolly replied, completely unperturbed. But the next sentence that had floated to his ears might as well have killed him.

“Oh, I’m not going to do shit to you, boy,” the leader had revealed. His grin had grown even wider. “Let me show you how human you can be.”

And he did.

The sight that greeted Chuuya when he got to your parents’ house he’d never forget. White mahogany door wide open, the lock broken, no lights on and the biggest kick to the guts? Even a few feet away from the house, he could see the blood spattered on the floor.

As he rushed into the house, it played in his mind over and over again — your smile, your laugh, the way you moved, the way you loved; all the moments you spent together, or even when you were apart and all he could think of was you. Now, he wasn’t even religious but he was praying to god that you were safe.

But life was harsh. It dashed his hopes in a matter of seconds. Because moments later, he had your lifeless body in his arms, tears streaming down his cheeks and your blood getting on his face as he tried to kiss you awake.

“No, no, please come back to me, please wake up,” he mumbled, over and over, touching your bloody face and kissing your eyelids, hoping that they’d somehow open. “I haven’t made you my wife yet please get up, princess.”

But your body temperature said you’d been there for a few hours already. It was pointless.

The moment he gathered the courage to look around the room, he wished he didn’t. There, just a few feet away from you, at the edge of the living room, next to the kitchen counter, your parents lay beside each other, hands clasped together, bodies as lifeless as yours.

And as his eyes caught on to what you had been holding onto as you died, Chuuya’s heart fell.

It was your ‘surprise’ for him.

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Life is full of fleeting moments.

Life, in itself, could be fleeting.

A month later, he brought flowers for each of you. He’d been diligent this time, in visiting your graves everyday. You had no other close family members, so he’d had to settle everything. All of you were next to each other, and as he looked at your gravestones, an image of the four of you having your last meal together at your parents’ house flashed across his mind.

He stifled back the tears. No, not out here. Not again. Chuuya had already lost count of how many times he’s grieved for too long at the cemetery. Not today. No. Today was supposed to be your wedding. Yet here he was, standing on your grave.

Chuuya clenched his fist at the thought, and then remembered the flowers he brought. He brought one for each of you.

He placed a bouquet on your father’s grave. He had tied a note to it, saying ‘It would’ve been an honor to be your son, dad.’ Chuuya couldn’t hold his tears in any longer as he thought about the way he had so warmly welcomed Chuuya into the family. The way he called him ‘son’, how they’d just watch tv together in the living room while you and your mother would be preparing their favourite meal. He remembered your father whispering to him, “you know, I never thought I wanted a son, until I met you.” They had shared a hug after that. “You’re a good kid.”

Chuuya clenched his fist. If there was something he could hit he would. No. How could he be a good kid? His mere involvement with his daughter led to their entire family’s demise. How could he be good? How could he have ever deserved to be called ‘son’ by the man who gave him the kind of love he wished he always had?

The tears didn’t stop there, because they got even heavier as Chuuya turned to look at your mother’s grave. He placed another bouquet on her’s, the note tied there said ‘You’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met, and I’m so glad your daughter took after you.’ Because it’s true. He’s heard of the sacrifices your mother’s made for the family. How she put everything she wanted aside for you and your father, so you could each live out your dream while she stayed put and became the mother and wife that you both needed. Chuuya never spent a lot of time alone with her, but he remembered your father telling him, “I’d die for her. I’d kill anyone who tried to come near her.”

You should’ve killed me, you should’ve turned me away. You shouldn’t have let me be with your daughter. It’s all my fault.

And as he walked over to your grave, he held two bouquets. No, he didn’t miscalculate. He put one down, to which the note said ‘If I could’ve done it all over again, I would’ve loved you right.’ Chuuya fell to his knees as he recalled everything about you; every memory he had with you. How close you two were coming to being blissful. It had been a month since that fateful night, and today was supposed to be the day of the wedding.

Slowly, he pulled a note out of his pocket and looked at your name carved in the headstone. “Hey princess,” he whispered, trying hard not to choke on his tears. “We, uh, never got to do this so let me read you mine, okay? But only if you promise not to laugh.”

And he laughs at how stupid he was being. He wished you could laugh, and tell him how silly it sounded. But you couldn’t. He still read it out loud for you anyway.

“Never in all my life, did I think I’d be so lucky as to be able to marry someone like you. You’re my best friend, my confidant, my lover, my home. I’ll follow you wherever you go, and I promise to support you in whatever you do. I’ve always wondered how you always seem to make me feel at home, and I found the answer in your parents.” Chuuya looked over to their graves, more tears threatening to spill out. “Mom, dad, I’m so glad I’m finally able to be a part of your family now when I’ve never had one. You have both taught me what it means to be a good parent,” and the redhead turns his attention back to your grave, softly calling your name. “I promise I’ll be the best husband, and I promise to put you... and our baby first.”

And then he placed down the other bouquet right next to yours. “How silly of me, vowing to put you both first but failing to protect either of you,” he choked out as he cried.

That night he lost everything. The only real parental figures he ever had, the love of his life, and the only one he could possibly love more than you.

He stared at the note on the last bouquet: ‘I wish you could’ve seen the world, I would’ve given you everything, my child.’

Chuuya lost what was, what is, and what could’ve been, all in one night. All solely because he existed.

He felt everything; grief, loss, terror. He’s dying on the inside. He’s never felt more human.

And he thinks he’ll never recover.

tags: @yokelish @gogolparadise @fyowyn-writes @sigmas-cursedcookies-writing

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