idk why but sometimes i reread fb messages from 6-8 years ago and i go 💀

****

linking this here bc it was technically a journal? i just don’t want it on my notes anymore and if i ever (likely not to) want to re-read for whatever reason. please note that i knew people would read this so things are censored and are the basic version. also there was a switch at one point from **** to chris because i didn’t want things to be read

(for later when i got time lmao)

Matt is a piece of shit that just wants to fuck -Chloe

well fuck

here goes nothing

the plan: don’t get drunk bc i got shit to do early next morning and ill tell him tomorrow when i do get drunk. spoiler alert that didn’t work

Gaby (coles gf) came too btw

so i had a smirnoff ice and said no more than two shots after so id be buzzed but not fully drunk (i ended up having three and was very much drunk)

me jon and gaby we’re talking about guys and i mentioned something about liking a guy or some shit and gaby looks at matt and then me and confirms it with me. then she tells me that apparently when she met me and a few other friends at the beach last quarter, that she predicted the two of us would end up together and told cole this. im like wtf how and she claims she’s psychic lol

later, Matt and i are on the sack and he looks at me and goes do you like me and im thinking well fuck so i say yes and he’s like well shit sorry but (and then i forgot exactly what he said) something along the lines of it’s not mutual or it’s not the right timing (i forgot okay) and then he gets up after a bit to go to the bathroom (I’m pretty sure cole went out too) and then me gaby and Jon have a chisme session and they think that he does like me but whatever

so the guys come back and at this point i really need to pee again so matt offers to take me and we start talking and he’s all, oh im sorry if i led you on and shit and im like it’s alright ill get over it, it just might be a bit awkward for me for a bit. but then on our way back from the bathroom he asks me , do you wanna at least kiss your crush at least one time and im like uhh yeah so he kisses me and then we start talking but i forgot about what and im kinda dizzy so he says, oh let’s sit on the couches for a bit before we go back, so we do and somehow we kiss again and then start making out

and at this point im like bitch there’s no way you don’t like me like why would you do that if you didn’t

so we finally go back and it’s been some time so the rest of em are obviously curious

matt goes with cole to the bathroom again and the three of us have a chisme session otra vez and they’re like yeah he fucking likes you he’s prob just scared bc of his last relationship

cole comes back in and basically backs up their side based on his convo he just had with matt

and so it’s decided that we’ll both sleep on the sack, Jon sleeps on his bed and the other two together in coles bed

he comes back and we all “go to sleep” but I push for him to hold me like he usually does whenever we sleep together and around like 2,3 am we both start making out again and just like uhhhh

also we’re both very much drunk but of course i tend to remember things whenever ive gotten drunk, however, he did not and so now we gotta talk and figure shit out and go from there

also im not telling Emilou or Hanna yet until we figure things out so

yeah

fuck

alrighty, so after last night, ive decided to do absolutely nothing about it and decided to just let things play out the way things do. i don’t wanna say something and ruin our friendship that we have bc i trust him a lot and like hanging out with him, so, i guess the end of this note for now, unless the situation changes anytime soon

Can Tim see what I write on this?     -Chloe

Yes -Janet

Hi Tim!

-Chloe

Tim pls respond.

-Chloe

Hi Chloe! Sorry I have been busy at home LOL

He responded I’m so happy!

-Chloe

FYI im just going to add things at the top of the note so that its easiwr to see stuff when i add it bc then otherwise youd have to scroll a ton

and I’m dating shit so i know when I wrote stuff and my memory and yeahhh

FEB 15 1 pm

chillin in alp so lets get this chisme

alrighty so last night i stayed the night in pratts but it wasnt just me so calmate, it was me and jon bc long story short i was too lazy/dizzy to get up and jons roommate had her bf over. basically we both shared the bed, not a lot of physical contact but whateva

brb

anyways, there was also one point where he was watching a movie from his childhood and idk what tf it was but he was shocked that i havent seen those movies, so apparently now im gonna watch them so i told him for payback we gotta watch disney movies lmao

oh also! i fucking got back to my room and took a shower to get ready for class, and when hanna gets back from class shes all like oh you slept in HiS rOoM huh and i was like uhhh yeah and told her the truth like i was too lazy and dizzy to get up and then she didnt really say anything but uhhhh yikes

and then i mentioned this to emilou later when we were walking to class and shes like yeah idk why she did that that was weird and i was thinking like thank God she doesnt think the same as hanna bc shes also slept in his room on the bean bag a few times

FEB 14 2pm

heyyy its valentines day and guess whos still single and workinggg

so uhhh last night, around 1, both me and pratt finished our shit (hw and studying) and im wide awake so im like hey, brooklyn 99? (because i got him into the show and i love rewatching the show bc its sooo good) and hes down so we start watching in his room. were both on his bed but were sitting (for the tie being) and eventually i decide to lay down and use one of his pillows but its the flat pillow so i attempt to steal his other one, which he protests and we lowkey wrestle over it and eventually i fail ugh and i fall over in frustration and land my head on his knee and then just quit and stay there, but get this, he just deals with it and lays on top of me, like his head is on my side. granted we both also have pillows so like his pillow is in between me and him and same for me but like ughhh

and eventually i fall asleep for like an episode (?) and wake up right before 3 am, and then decide hey sleep sounds important bc i have an 8 am and so does he, so i sit up but im too lazy to get up right away so i sit and go through twitter and shit so chris just lays down with his head on my leg and i set my arm down on his chest and he falls asleep for a few minutes and then i finish going through my social media and every part of me doesnt wanna move, but im also in a position that would be uncomfortable to fall asleep in so i wake him up and then go back to my room

oh and the other thing i forgot was that for a good couple hours we were texting and joking around and yeahhh

i feel like im reading a lot into what happens but at the same time, like i doubt id be this comfortable doing shit with guys like this and idk about him, but like sometimes i wonder you know?

also, saturday night, as far as i know, its just me and him going to the basketball game bc idk who else is going (eye emoji insert here bc im on my computer lmao) so we'll see what happens

FEB 10 11am

okay soooo last night,

the plan was to get buzzed, just me and matt and watch Brooklyn 9-9 but then Anthony and emilou joined us so never mind. after a bit, Anthony leaves so he can answer a phone call and pratt offers me shot #1 and not emilou (she’s laying on the bean bag, I’m on his roommates bed chillin behind her so she can’t see what’s up)

we take two and im slightly buzzed but i think “hey lets see how much we can take before she notices” and he’s down so uhhh let’s get this

later we have to include Anthony and he’s down to see how much we can take and he just lets us continue, i get to 4 shots and he finishes the bottle so i can’t have a 5th

brb im gonna go eat with him

okay im back now...

anyways were both pretty out of it, emilou still hasnt noticed and anthony finds this all funny i assume and so do i , and eventually she finds out and then the two of them leave i guess around 2 am and the two of us are both on the bean bag and were both tired and drunk and drunk me like petting his hair and apparently holding his hand and well yeah i kinda hate drunk me bc if that wasnt obvious enough lmao :/

continuin, we basically end up cuddled together most of the night until we both kind of sober up hella early in the morning and kind of separate a bit

and so in the morning guess who brought it uppp and i at least have an excuse that i was drunk and not thinking and just kinda doing whatever drunk me wanted to do (but omggg his hair is so fucking nice to play with omg) anyways imma just die real quick bc idk what happens now

also since no one else was in the room literally no one else knows about this and i think were keeping it that way bc lets be honest if anyone found out about that i think id be screwed for secret keeping and then well yeah

FEB 8 1AM

i remembered:

sunday 2-3

i forgot this happened but before I ended up in chris’s room i was chillin upstairs watching tv and then he came out on the phone with some one and long story short he said something on the phone to his friend along the lines of “you’re gonna have me in your life for a long time” and when he was saying that i was looking at him bc soy chismosa and i was curious and he winked at me and I died

Monday 2-4

so the other thing that happened was I had lunch/dinner with him before my writing class and no recuerdo que decimos, but uhhhh yeah

i like hanging out with him

also, just got back from his room and am more convinced that he may not like me but actually just sees me as a friend but at the same time maybe he does but IDK

i hate feelings and it’d be so much easier if i didn’t have them sometimes lmaooo

FEB 7 5-7 PM

so im currently in the room rn so im gonna try to make this as chronological as possible

saturday 2-2

alrighty so mind you this is the day ive volunteered with ship and have spent the whole day there, (i dont remember why i thought this was relevant :/)

so saturday night, i go to work in his room around 8 (?) so i can work on my essay and finish my shit bc he has a bean bag thats hella comfy to work on

andd so later on, jocelyn comes in to watch anime with him and then after i finish we all decide to watch gabriel iglesias and ended up squishing together on the bean bag with me in the middle of the two of them

and so were all chillin there, laughing whatever and at one point chris fucking pratt puts his head on my shoulder for a little bit and i dIeDddd

and eventually i fall asleep when we start watching emperors new groove and mind you im fucking next to chris pratt like uhhhh my GOD

so i wake up once the movies over and then go to the bathroom and come back and by then he has taken over the whole bean bag and im sad that i cant just get back and go back to sleep so i go back to my room

(hanna doesnt know what time i get back i think and im pretty sure it was around4 am) (emilous also not here bc she went home for the weekend)

sunday 2-3

so i decide hey i was productive yesterday and decide to return to his room to work on shit and try to get as much done before work in theevening

i finish around 1/2? and then i tell him im bored and i wanna do something before work but idk what so he says lets go to the rec room and its just the two of us and its chillin and he puts me on his story playing pool lmao

and then i go to work :(

but then THEN later after work i go for a run and end up back in his room and theres a couple other people there and so were all chilling (mind you this is around midnight)

and somehow i end up falling asleep on the bean bag next to this girl jon from my hall and (this is a secret in a secret) but i hear her get up at one point and then chris pratt then joins me and during the night im tossing and turning and leaning on him a bit (ughhhh i died a shit ton)

monday 2-4

so in the morning around 720 or so i wake up pay dumb and am like oh whend you get here and he explains and then hes like yeah i dont really know the girl who slept in my bed (one of jons friends) and i figured since im more comfortable with you id just move here (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fuck me upppp) [please note that when i say fuck me up i dont mean that type of fuck]

alrighty thats what i remember that i havent told you, and then the other bit from the screen record was tuesday and now its thursday and here i am in guess whos room again

possibly staying the night lmao

but jons also here so its not like im staying the night staying the night

What's been happening? How's life?

A lot! Or at least it feels like a lot. I finally got more hours at work. Still need to get a full time job though. I have been attending driving school for 6 weeks and passed. And now I have one more drive and still need lots of practice before I can even take the tests for getting my liscense. I STILL make wide turns Driving with a parent is stressful...and she just got a new car. So this should be interesting... 😅 Also dealing with responsibilities at home and bleh...Oh and today me and my brother are going to celebrate a late Mother's Day. Since my mom and I were busy with work that day.I was really amused (cracking up) at how many people reacted to the comment I left on the last post. So I'll go into some detail about that. 1. Because it's highly amusing imo 2. He's not like anyone I've ever met (I'll give an example why) 😆 3. It's part of the happenings currentlySo he has made this pic of himself (reminds me of a fuckboy pic) as his profile pic. And this was last year. He took a selfie in the bathroom mirror kinda showing off. But being more shy and looking down with a small smile. Also he was dating his gf at that time. All the pics from that point on felt off (didn't know about his relationship till a year later. It's just those pictures of him and her (I don't assume) or just him or anything felt really off and so I unfollowed him. So that I wouldn't see anything anymore in my newsfeed about him. Since I don't actively go looking through profiles. Since that's just creepy. Plus he gets tagged a lot by his mother and then that gf). Despite running into him a lot since ya know...fate or something or what have you. I really had NO idea about the relationship. I just KNEW something wasn't right. Felt wrong. And I could tell by his odd behavior. Yeah...we don't really talk to each other btw. Too awkward for him and I kinda gave up. Yeah...about that found out he was forced into that relationship by possibly his mother. Which explains EVERYTHING. He has the relationship hidden. You'd have to search for it to find it. No pics of her are as featured. Only him and his family. Kinda tells you WHO is important in his life. Doesn't it?? And his mother left a comment on a picture of them. Where he's posing with her for a selfie. And guys! He looked like such a stranger even felt like one from that one pic (which she made her profile pic). And no his profile pic is still JUST him. Her comment was pretty disturbing. It basically sounds like she's surprised that his gf can "handle" him. Almost as if she's afraid of her own son...wtf What even... Before I even knew about them dating. He suddenly became sooo desperate to get my attention. Would honk at me. Slow down when he saw me. Would get his buddies to spy on me at my work. And he would show up and just stare into my eyes as he walked past. Anytime he's in the store he wears a cap! And only at my work. Like he thinks it's a disguise! And I'll see him outside the store without it. He'd honk, wave anytime he saw me even act like he'll run me over when he see me....and then quickly turn and speed off. Who even does that?? I mind my own business. And without talking to anyone. I find out things about him lately. I overheard a conversation on the bus just a day ago even! Some dude was talking with some other guy. About a relationship saying that the guy or the girl told the other that they need to "take a break" and he think it eludes to them breaking up. Well I thought it rude of me to just listen in. So I was about to listen to my music again. When I hear them mention about a girl that works in a certain department (it's a department exclusive to our store and I'm the only girl *cough*) And that the guy keeps staring at her and he doesn't understand why. Something about a "face expression" and "not being fooled." Well just the day before. Guess who did that? Yuppers. Then he mentions the gf by name. Look. I didn't know who she was. And then one day some girl came by my work a few times shooting me dirty looks each time with some random guy (not her bf)...ok...I stood my ground and kept an eye on her. Bad vibes...And guess who she was...his gf. I was floored! Don't know why she was so mad. He's the one showing up at my work. Not the other way around. And here she was acting like a couple with someone who's not her boyfriend....and each time a different dude....helloooo??? What the heck. My life isn't normal. Ok so the dude on the bus has basically made it known that he's a friend of his. And goes on a rant about this girl. He says "I can't believe this is the same girl that told me that she's soooo baaaddd because she pops pills." Oh my god...how is that "baaaddd." (What I've seen and heard about her...she seems very stuck up. And her bf seems to avoid her like the plague. Because I never see them together. Even in those pics. There's distance between them and just...nooo. She looks like she's showing off a prize. I don't know how to explain it. And where's the smile on his face??? Odd. Besides, he's always with his friends or by himself when I see him. Which is pretty frequent since...well life I guess). So the dude on the bus cusses about her calling her a "bitch" multiple times (they got scolded by the busdriver for their "bad language." It's a public bus). They were roasting her about her being short and something about height difference between two people. I don't know what she did...but people seem to really despise her for some reason...I looked at the dude talking before I got off at my stop. And...I recognized him. I've seen this guy walking with him in my store. The day he walked by and proceeded to stare intensely into my eyes as he walked past. Then went over to an aisle and talked with him. Before walking out doing the same thing with the staring. And I even had an associate ask me about the weird guy who walked by twice ans was staring smh Which by the way. Doesn't creep me out at all. We just understand each other somehow. As illogical as that is. It's just this knowing. Anyways, I'vee talked smack about his friends. Because they are very rebellious people. But...honestly. From what I've seen they really care about him. Also he now looks miserable when I see him with his family (specifically his mom). But absolutely free and just having a blast when he's with his friends... I mean here was this friend of his sharing his frustration with some random stranger on the bus. Because he was worried about his friend. Ok I know this is a long post. So I'll wrap this up. I saw him later that day yesterday. After I'd seen him sitting outside the store. And he looked like he was trying to hide. And then he was back hours later further away and when he turned and looked at me. I started cracking up and said "AGAAAIIINNN?"Well later in the evening. I end up going to the store near us with my family. I see a group of guys that work there talking to each other. Sorta watching me. But eh. And I notice there's someone that I can't really see. So I take a peek. And guess who? He looks absolutely overjoyed! The biggest smile on his face. And he's looking at me...??? While my brother and me are talking and my brother is being a goofball and I keep trying to get him to shush or stop. Weird day. I didn't know he still worked there.Yeah...that got pretty long. I don't know why I felt like I should share that.But there it is. I guess he's supposed to be in my life. I just want him to be happy. That's all I can ever wish for him. Ok. I'll add one more thing. He needs to stand up for himself and make his own choices. It's his life. And if someone disagrees. Then that doesn't matter. And same goes for all of you. Make your own decisions. Don't feel pressured or obligated to do or be someone that goes against who you are or what's in your heart. Thank you anon for your question! I hope my answer wasn't too boring or anything. Have a lovely day! 💜