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#of course your password is phi. just like her. i miss you all. 10 friends teaching each other how to slow dance
oatbugs
·
1 year
Text
lightning fried our satellite dish and now we are alone
#old geometry on old walls + her hand flowing along the river delta. sudden stop pulls on stitches
#you are not allowed to laugh unrestrained for the next two months. in the next world
#i look at the shape of the sun and i the tangerine you offered to your brother. do you feel
#artificial ? do you feel man-made? what is more natural than man ? what is more natural than the creation of a natural thing?
#do you feel like an organic automaton? will you love me if i change? will i love you if you change? if i prophesise about
#not loving you it wont change the fact that i wont stop loving you. you are going to draw again because in a few weeks
#you have to paint something sacred along the length of my spine. my friend asks me if im okay
#and in my head i want to scream at her IM JUST HAPPY YOU'RE ALIVE. im sorry we were both in pain. im sorry you have to think about
#endings. i will think about your beginnings. the air here feels like spring and i think of you every day.
#my boy texts me on the train station about the snow and how he waited 4 hours in the underground. he said his hands were shaking
#and i thought of how much i missed holding his hands. you were freezing on the train i was burning in the sky.
#of course your password is phi. just like her. i miss you all. 10 friends teaching each other how to slow dance
#in the kitchen. 10 friends cook a feast together and say goodbye. the last thing i told the boy who was once
#in love with me was that i wont say goodbye because no one would care to hear it. the last thing he said was fair enough.
#im glad you kissed me when i was drunk. i am visiting my town by the sea for the first time in a decade and i hope to
#peel it open and bite again. my love، how do i make you feel? pomegranate cracked open. you saw the blood inside
#and you dug your hands inwards. messed up through all the red، you still bit in.
#i will make you feel safe enough so you can lose your mind again. you can create again
#im sorry i didnt realise how much you had missed me. im sorry i didnt realise thats a part of why you stopped creating
#i am not sorry that it matters so much. it matters because i love you. ill be back soon. keep cracking me open. ill keep cracking you open.
#world of chroma blue and crimson. a girl asks a policeman for direction without a headscarf on. this was an act of war. i reveal my own
#hair in the wind and think of how much i love you. i stare at the policeman through the eyes of the slaughtered.
#my lovely economist drinks up the ocean and i think of her beautiful hair with its bloody ends in the wind
#chase your dreams. dont say goodbye. politics is an act of love. i look at the killer with the eyes of those he killed and i think of
#kissing you over the river kissing you in your bed kissing you before you left kissing you until we were late kissing you goodbye
#for five consecutive days kissing you in the train station kissing you in the rolling fields kissing you by the cityscape kissing your neck
#until it bled. i love you. i will kiss you until you can create again.
#i miss my love i miss my starlights and i miss the sky. one day ill make you tomato soup again.
#and now it is time to replace a very old very young self.
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