Obscure Tolkien Blorbo: The Final!

Nerdanel vs One (1) Rivendell elf who sings tra-la-la-lally

Nerdanel:

Nerdanel, called The Wise, was the wife of Fëanor, and known as a great sculptor. She refused to follow her family to Middle-earth in the revolt of the Noldor.

Best known as the woman who looked at the hot mess that is Fëanor, went “is anyone going to marry that?” and did not wait for an answer, Nerdanel is also so much more than just the beloved wife of Fëanor. Most notably, she is a sculptor (apparently a male-dominated field in Noldorin society) - her statues are so life-like that the friends of the depicted would go up and talk to them! She is also wise enough to land the epithet Istarnië, which means Wise One, and she is the only person Fëanor ever listened to, which borders miracle territory. Although when she married the pretty young crown prince of the Noldor, people said she was not good-looking enough for him, Fëanor begged to differ, as they had seven kids together, which is the largest amount of kids any Elven couple ever had. There must have been a lot of passion there (or maybe they just really wanted a daughter?). Although Nerdanel always seemed to have wise counsel for her husband, apparently she did not put up with his, as she was close friends with Indis, his stepmother he did not like. Unfortunately, their marital bliss did not last; when Fëanor pulled a sword on his half-brother Fingolfin (Indis's son) and was exiled, she did not come with him and instead stayed with Indis. This is often seen as her inventing divorce, although a more boring reading could simply suggest she disagreed and did not fancy accompanying him (LaCE does say Elven couples could keep separate households for extended periods of time). She also did not think about coming to Beleriand with him after he swore his terrible oath, although she did beg for him to leave her at least one of her kinslaying spawn sweet adorable baby boys (preferably the one she very ominously tried her hardest to name The Fated as a baby). I suppose the resulting, kind of permanent, separation, could definitely count as divorce.

she is a sculptor and an artisan so skilled that Feanor’s love for her competed with his own love of craft and creation. She raised seven sons and pleaded for their fates with Feanor because of how much she loved them and even though she loved him too, she stuck to her own beliefs and refused to leave Valinor….she’s so girlboss and she said you can go be a tragic archetype but our children don’t deserve that and also I will stay right here. We love a woman who refuses to give up her joys and her home even for a man she loves and ESPECIALLY since it was Feanor….the strength of her will is insane. I love her.

One (1) Rivendell elf who sings tra-la-la-lally:

One of the Elves of Rivendell who sing tra-la-la-lally in The Hobbit.

This one specific elf sings tra la la lally with the rest but he is slightly off key and the other elves bully him for it

they’re SILLY!!! We need NEED more silly elves!! Like who are these weirdos just hanging out in the trees of Rivendell? Did they know the dwarves were coming and gather their friends to specifically climb those trees to sing nonsense at them? Do they just normally sit there and sing about every little thing they see? Is this a traditional Rivendell thing or are those elves just really strange? I’m obsessed with them they’re everything to me. Elves are oft portrayed as being Too Serious in this fandom and silly elves need rights too! Silly elf rights!!!!

Final masterpost

Beregond of the Guard concedes honorable defeat to the first ruling Queen of Númenor and wishes her the best of luck in the semifinals. Thanks for voting, everybody!

Eldacar may be a noble blorbo with a compelling backstory but the Rivendell elf doesn’t even have a NAME, his parents didn’t love him enough to NAME him, how fucked up is that!! He deserves your vote!!!!!

we're one day closer to the Finarfin - Lobelia poll. this is your daily reminder to vote for the right person, that person being finarfin, for the following reasons:

i'm forever not normal about him leading and WINNING the War of Wrath; like how cooler can you get

this guy has his relationship with ALL the characters shattered. most of the time he did so without even meeting half of them. literally. point at a character and i'll tell you why they dislike finarfin

LOOK AT HIS KIDS. look at how unhinged they are. they HAVE to get their unhingeness from someone if you know what i mean

you know that feeling when you loose all of your family and your only hope is your dad getting from the afterlife and then one day you learn that actually you will be seeing your dad never because his ex wife got ressurected instead

hmm. finarfin and eönwë in qpr. do you see my vision

For the obscure tolkien blorbo poll

@thelordofgifs my humble offerings

VOTE FOR FINARFIN HE'S SUCH AN INTERESTING COMPLEX AND SUBTLE CHARACTER. He's not perfect but he tried so hard to hold together a breaking kingdom and he succeeded. He was thrust into political tension that could rival anything that ever happened in Middle-earth (maybe minus some of the fighting though) and you know what he did? He made it work for him and his people. His relationships all broke in the span of one day and he still perservered. He's not perfect and that makes him even better. People don't understand that he turned back with *bitterness* in his heart at Feanor (and probably Fingolfin), but people turned back with him (because they trusted his judgment). The Valar pardoned him and let him be king - why? Surely not because he's obedient, he's been involved in his fair share of trouble, but because his pride and ambition is buried a little more deeply than the benchmark of his brothers. It has to be, for him to survive. Arafinwe is subtle and caring, and he accomplishes a lot and always tries to stick to his principles. Imagine this half-Vanya who feels more at home with the Lindar becoming the King of the Noldor. Imagine him carving out a place in the world with words and wit and politics. Imagine him constantly trying to make the world he lives in a better place, because if he can't do that he doesn't deserve the crown, and he's sure not letting go of that power now that he finally can grasp it. He's such a character. Vote for him.

@thelordofgifs just a bit of Finarfin propaganda/unhinged ranting about this elf

Elulindo propoganda

I use Elulindo in my WIPs a lot so I figure I will submit some propoganda!

Canon (if you squint) son of Olwë and brother of Eärwen (wife of  Finarfin) which makes him the uncle to some of the most significant exiled Noldor

most likely at the first Kinslaying- lots of potential there, did he die? did he watch his people die? Did his sisters family say anything to him in the aftermath??

If you are interested in the aftermath of the Flight of the Noldor in Valinor (hi 👋🏼) he would almost certainly play a big role since his sister is married to the King of the Noldor in Valinor

Anymore would get into my personal HCs lol but I find him interesting haha .

@thelordofgifs

Obviously I have no complaints with how the Obscure Tolkien Blorbo contest is going, but wish I'd thought to nominate noted obscure character J.R.R. Tolkien. I think a lot of voters might have liked him and appreciated his role in the story.

After seeing all the Finarfin support, I have to cheer Lobelia Sackville-Baggings a bit.

She's like a half-Blorbo to me and it all goes back to this fic:

I think this was the reason I submitted Lobelia.

I think there would be interesting things to explore with her. And I have pondered her on my own time which I don't do often with characters.

Also let's add that she as an old lady attacked the men Saruman sent to the Shire with an umbrella! (And Bilbo is an unreliable narrator - make of that what you will regarding the silver spoons.)

I guess I think there could be more to her than just envy and greediness.

(But I also understand why people love Finarfin - I do too)

@thelordofgifs I did what I could - hope this helps the people :)

ok lotro gang get your Lothrandir propaganda ready, in the next set of polls Lothrandir is going against the same person Golodir lost to. this is gonna be a hard battle but I think out of all the lotro blorbos our flower-boy stands the best chance at avenging Golodir!

I hate the fact that tralalally elf made it to the finals and I hate the fact I'm going to vote for him over Nerdanel even more (also can we all agree he is Figwit)

Obscure Tolkien Blorbo: Semifinal

Eldacar of Gondor vs One (1) Rivendell elf who sings tra-la-la-lally

Eldacar of Gondor:

The twenty-first King of Gondor, also known as Vinitharya. During his reign the conflict known as the Kin-strife occurred and he was forced from his throne for ten years.

The blorbo of all time actually. He’s the protagonist of one of the most interesting stories in the LoTR appendices, the Kin-strife, and everything about his life story is so fascinating! His father was the crown prince of Gondor and his mother was the princess of Rhovanion so not a Númenorean. As a result all the racist nobles of Gondor made noises about how Eldacar was of “lesser race” and wouldn’t live as long as a “true Dúnadan”. One of the most fascinating examples of fantasy racism in Tolkien’s works imo – the bigotry is awful but the bigots have a shield to hide behind! Obviously their concerns are actually valid because they just don’t want their king to die young! (Their concerns aren’t valid. But I think the worldbuilding here is great.) Anyway Eldacar was born in Rhovanion and given the birth-name Vinitharya, but when he returned to Gondor aged five he was obliged to take up the Quenya name Eldacar, presumably to pacify all the racists in Gondor. He’s the EMBODIMENT of mixed-race/immigrant child trauma my beloved. Eventually his father died and he ascended to the throne of Gondor, but then his shitty second cousin Castamir (all my homies hate Castamir he’s the worst) started the civil war known as the Kin-strife and usurped Eldacar’s throne. Eldacar was forced to flee north to Rhovanion but Castamir captured his eldest son Ornendil and had him cruelly put to death which is SO SAD. But Eldacar, being brave and resourceful and clever and extremely cool, put together an alliance with his mother’s kinsfolk in Rhovanion and after ten years reclaimed his throne, which turned out to be slightly easier than expected because Castamir was The Worst and all his subjects hated him. And Eldacar PERSONALLY fought and killed Castamir HIMSELF and AVENGED HIS SON which is extremely important when you consider all the cringefail elves in the legendarium whose quests for revenge didn’t really go anywhere at all. Then he lived to be 235 proving that all the idiot racists who were worried about his lifespan didn’t have any idea what they were talking about, as is par for the course with racists. Also the Kin-strife itself has such far-reaching consequences for the history of Gondor! The Corsairs of Umbar, Gondor’s long-standing enemies, are actually followers of the descendants of Castamir. And during the Usurpation of Castamir Osgiliath was sacked and burned, leading to the beginning of its decline as Gondor’s greatest city. Even though Eldacar’s story is, to me, ultimately hopeful, it’s also such a fascinating turning point in the history of Gondor. Also ALSO he’s explicitly surrounded by textual ghosts which is really fascinating. His father Valacar has “children” plural – so Eldacar had siblings!! What were they like? How did they react to it all? And his son Aldamir is described as Eldacar’s second son and third child, meaning that he had a daughter too. Who was she?? What happened to her? He’s such a blorbo and there’s so much interesting stuff to dig into around him and he has to win this entire tournament please please please❤️

One (1) Rivendell elf who sings tra-la-la-lally:

One of the Elves of Rivendell who sing tra-la-la-lally in The Hobbit.

This one specific elf sings tra la la lally with the rest but he is slightly off key and the other elves bully him for it

they’re SILLY!!! We need NEED more silly elves!! Like who are these weirdos just hanging out in the trees of Rivendell? Did they know the dwarves were coming and gather their friends to specifically climb those trees to sing nonsense at them? Do they just normally sit there and sing about every little thing they see? Is this a traditional Rivendell thing or are those elves just really strange? I’m obsessed with them they’re everything to me. Elves are oft portrayed as being Too Serious in this fandom and silly elves need rights too! Silly elf rights!!!!

Semifinals masterpost

OK, people were very nice to me yesterday about my latest absurdly niche blorbo: Guthláf of Rohan. I wrote a little story about him (it's below and it's only 500ish words). But I feel like I can't post it in isolation without explaining myself a little better first.

The fact that he's Théoden’s banner bearer is the only detail about Guthláf’s life in the canon. But just that by itself was enough to grab my interest because I took a class on ancient warfare in college, and one of my major takeaways was that the flag bearers were often the bravest and most selfless guys in a battle. They were highly visible, highly vulnerable, and highly prized as a target for the enemy. That's not an encouraging combo, and they had an appallingly high casualty rate. And yet, the ones who pursued it did so willingly and considered it an honor!

Although Guthláf's name literally means "battle survivor", he did not avoid the flag bearer’s usual fate. He’s listed among the fatalities at the Pelennor Fields (along with Halbarad, the only (?) other named flag bearer in the books). So I wrote the drabble-ish story below about Guthláf’s experience of his own terrifying job. (I also, of course, have a full head canon about his personal life—how he spoke Rohirric with a rural accent that stood out in Edoras, how the early loss of his family drove him toward recklessness, how he was maybe in love with fellow obscure blorbo Wídfara, etc.—if anyone is interested! And I decided that he's the tall, blonde drink of water on the left below, who I believe is otherwise unnamed and is too young to be Elfhelm or Erkenbrand.)

Anyway. Story (ish) here:

Alone among his éored, Guthláf carries no weapon. In his left hand, he holds his shield, his one and only means of protecting himself; in his right, he carries his banner, a charging white horse on a field of deep green that whips furiously in the cold wind above his head.

Alone among his éored, Guthláf does not strike blows. His war is fought not with strength of arms but with strength of spirit. He has only to keep himself going long enough to let his banner do its work. To signal the direction of the charge and mark the vanguard of the attack. To be the rallying point around which scattered troops coalesce. To lead the way, like a torch in the dark, so that those behind know where to follow. He has only to keep that banner flying, set high and stark against the cool blankness of the winter sky, so that every Rohirrim heart can see that they are yet unconquered, that victory still lies ahead.

Alone among his éored, Guthláf can never hide or blend in. His banner draws the eyes of foes just as easily as friends. His every move is visible. Noted. Tracked. Hunted. The hope he kindles in his fellow riders is equaled by the hatred he inspires in their enemies, and there is no greater blow such an enemy can strike than to bring him down, to achieve with the death of one man the turning of a tide that can change the fate of thousands.

Alone among his éored, Guthláf has no hope that he will survive unscathed to see old age. Banner bearers don’t last long in times of war, and Guthláf is his éored’s fourth bearer in five years. He has only to walk the streets of Edoras to be confronted with the reality of how the lucky banner bearers end their days–empty sleeves tied up where an arm used to be, angry red scars across unprotected faces and necks, canes and crutches that will never fully compensate for crushed legs, twisted spines, shattered hips. The unlucky ones end instead in hastily raised barrows, resting eternally in the sometimes distant and friendless lands where they finally slid from the saddle, bloodied and broken and desperately looking for a loyal hand into which they could pass the banner before everything went dark at last.

And yet, Guthláf wanted this job. He fought for this job. It means everything to him. Because even as he rides to his death, charging into battle on his gray warhorse with his banner streaming brilliantly in his wake, he has never felt more alive. He has never felt so much bigger than himself. When he carries his banner, he is no longer just Guthláf, son of Hulac. He is instead the spirit of Helm, and Eorl, and Frumgar and all the great warriors of old. He is the sound of thousands of hoofs thundering together across an open plain. He is the sight of the jagged white peaks towering over the lush green and gold grasses of the Mark. He is Rohan itself, not just a man but an idea. And an idea can never be slain. When he carries his banner, Guthláf becomes immortal.

we need to have a talk.

come here. take a seat. we need to get serious.

as you know, @thelordofgifs is hosting an Obscure Blorbo Tournament, where blorbos of different ranks of obscurity come face-to-face in polls and compete for the first place, and, as some of you might guess, I submitted a blorbo beloved by few - Finarfin, father of Finrod. Now, hear me out.

I do not hold illusions that would make me think my blorbo would make it to the top of the Tournament. But also, I am not as hopeless to think he can go down without putting up a good fight. And this is where we, my friends, need to come to play.

See, in the first round of tournament, our blorbo is going up against a foe much greater than he, and that foe is Lobelia Sackville-Baggins. The odds are uneven. We have lost to the Hobbit and LOTR fandom in the past. Friends, we shall not let them get that victory, too. What can she put against Finarfin? Can a wretched teaspoons-stealing being go against high and noble Arafinwë? Can a malicious relative who wants to get hands on your property go against the man who lost all to do the right thing? Can a character despised by Bilbo Baggins go against one who put a spear to Morgoth's throat? No, my friends, we cannot let that happen. Prepare your positions and harden your valour. We need to hold what is ours, so when the day comes, Lobelia Sackville-Baggins knows not what striked her.

When day comes, vote for Finarfin.

@thethelordofgifs Idril Propaganda!