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#nya know brett....maybe this sort of cutting off people is why youre so alone. but also this cutting off is also probably making me happier
happiiest · 4 years
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#my aunt on my dads side texted me asking me for my new address. i dont really enjoy spending time with anyone on my dads side#theyre all super conservative and they all practise very strict mennonite idealogy. when i was little and just went with it it was fine#but growing up with my own beliefs now being around them is very uncomfortable#ive changed my address and number a couple times since i last saw any of them. usually they ask my mom for my number#but perhaps its about that time where her and my dad have been divorced for long enough that they feel awkward reaching out to her#not to mention her isolating herself in the mountains with vic. i dont want to text her back and give her my address#i dont plan to hang out with them any time soon. or possibly ever#nya know brett....maybe this sort of cutting off people is why youre so alone. but also this cutting off is also probably making me happier#i decide to not be around the people im not comfortable with and then find people who i am very comfortable with#also have been extremely anxious all evening because ive only done one thing tonight#im maintenence now so if....theres nothing broken then nothing needs fixed......but its really hard to convince myself#that im doing a good job when i only see one thing has been done#there are some rooms out of order but i dont want to work on them for fear that the other maintenence guy has plans for them#or is doing something that i would interrupt. like.....that spongebob meme of him being chill and freakin out at the same time#or that one guy from....family feud was it?? freakin out but also extremely concerned at the same time. thats how i feel#kinda wanna rewatch the latest su episode. that hit hard. thank goodness im seeing my therapist wednesday#past four weeks have been ROUGH#i also need to see if i can start seeing a different therapist. possibly more frequently too. but i gotta see if my insurance will cover it#it should.....its in the same network as my pcp. but i didnt see it specifically listed......i gotta double check by calling them
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