Having himeru and aira share a scout after they had the 2023 bunny new year scouts together. Do u think theyre trying to tell us anything

back to sad loving tommy hours guys

Some thoughts on kayfabe, bootwt/Ranboo enjoyers, being a h8r, and how I come off 

Okay so yeah, we’ve all been on the whole “every face is a mask” thing, etc etc, but like this blog is much more kayfabe and ‘sona’d than like, my main 

Like I have an actual like, narrative and persona I project on here (like I straight up have a sona, and she’s literally discourse personified), and I’m not. Sure how I end up feeling about that? It’s interesting 

Like I think it definitely comes from in part where this... is. Like I’ve mentioned I got into DSMP despite it being MCYT, etc., and while my opinion on MCYT as a whole has mellowed, I still don’t hold it in very high regard. It isn’t even cringe, it’s like, I have inherent moral reservations about the streamer complex overall, the complicity inherent in it, fundamental things about how it exists, and from that and also from like, some of the stuff I’ve seen both from streamers and especially from community, I do not feel like. Idk fully safe. The whole thing abt I Do Not Know You is like. Actually real; there are people in thsi community who look like Another Fan and would recognize myself as One Of Them and harbor attitudes I don’t want to associate with or genuinely feel unsafe around. It’s rare they’re actually malicious, but idk, the fear is very much there, and ig a lot of the more hostile points in my DNI and my loud disdain are. I’ve described it as poison dart frog coloration; they’re an attempt to curate my experience for me 

But also it makes Poe’s Law really difficult to deal with. Like, the image I project is intentionally abrasive and harsh, but I don’t want to. Actually be mean, and I hope that comes through in things like how I partake in rbing art, how I respond to asks, how my more thought out content is formatted and toned, but at the same time that requires, yk, looking past that abrasive image, and I don’t know how harsh it is fair to be so that it keeps myself safe without actually hurting anyone 

Like take just the Ranboo enjoyers joke. I have this running gag abt how like, I’m a Ranboo enjoyer against Ranboo enjoyers, and I try to make sure it isn’t. Too serious by being really exaggerated, stuff like “I’m the only one allowed to talk about Ranboo (character)” etc that lampshades how pretentious and elitist that is, calling myself out on it, etc., but I also like. Legitimately do distrust people depending on what their takes on Ranboo (character) are, and I’ve seen some deeply concerning shit out of the community irt how it treats its streamer sometimes, and I have genuinely no clue how to judge that accurately. I’m on the very cynical side, but I’m pretty sure I’m just overjudging how many people here are actually uncritically yikes, and like,,, in my attempts to scare people who I actually don’t want to talk to off, how much has Poe’s Law come to smack me? How much have I unintentionally contributed to like, legit cringe culture, and making fun of Bootwt etc for just enthusiastically liking our streamer? Because I don’t. Want to actually do that?? The ardent devotion his following’s always had is a huge reason for his growth and success as a streamer anyway and is basically a natural consequence of the nature of his appeal, and anyway, there’s nothing wrong inherently with that as long as it doesn’t get out of control 

But it does get out of control, a lot, and I’ve seen it happen, and it’s Not Great, and idk where that line goes 

There’s also the issue of. Idk Drama. Like I’m an argumentative and opinionated person but I’ve gone by strict rules here: I don’t go trawling for opinions, I don’t participate in dogpiles (I came close once and. Never again), I don’t message people, I don’t argue or reply unless they’re in the maintag, I try to give due credit, I always make sure I have a reason and goal before I reply other than “hmmm angy,” things like that. I am. Far from perfect in that regard but I try yk? And I don’t try to argue pointlessly or For The Sake Of Arguing, even though I certainly Like to argue, just straight up, I like discussion and debate for fun and for truthseeking and for horizon-broadening, but I still. Definitely think I am confrontational and potentially even the act of responding, even if I’m polite, can read as hostile. And then because I compound that and want to make that like, a warning so people who don’t want to see discourse threads don’t have to, I end up making a lot of frustrationposts -- and it’s not, like, fake or staged frustration, but it’s definitely a choice to post it as I do, and idk. Like, again, as much as I want to come off as harsh, I don’t want to actually be mean, and I know I have definitely effectually done so at least sometimes. How much defensive negativity is okay until it straight up contributes to real negativity? How much positivity does it take to put out and highlight to cut that effectively? Can that even be done? 

There’s also ofc the issue that Mr Live the streamer himself has said that accts branded around him shouldn’t get into drama, bc he doesn’t want his name attached to that; I’m 80% he was thinking of like, twt #cancellation drama, and I try... not to crit unproductively, but again, I definitely frustrationpost! And I try not to maintag it for that exact reason. Like. Takes I don’t stand by yk. But bc of what he’s said and also that like, I’ve seen my untagged posts get spread, and I’m weirdly rapidly climbing followers, idk, maybe it’s time to start watching my phrasing in those more? I don’t know, man, and I don’t want to just. Be negative unproductively. I don’t plan to be less outspoken abt stuff I legit think is an issue, nor do I plan to be like, more permissive, but just,,, idk

Man all of this is just. Graphite too comes to term with its responsibility irt the Eldritch deity of the online audience

So. As conclusion, if you’ve gotten to the end of this for some reason: Thank you for bearin w/ me for the post, and the blog. And know too that as much posturing as I do I do like it here as genuinely as I hate it here sometimes