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#not like a super terrible vent or anything i'm just. tired. and mad at myself.
fridayyy-13th
·
2 months
Text
^ live footage of me rn
#friday chats
#tw vent
#not like a super terrible vent or anything i'm just. tired. and mad at myself.
#so like a couple weeks ago i was given an assignment for my british lit class right?
#to write a research essay based on one of the texts we've studied this unit. two weeks to do it. easy peasy. sure.
#i figure that's plenty of time and leave it to work on my other homework (bc there's always other homework i'm an honors student)
#oh wow lookie there it's due this weekend! great! so i start work on it
#and then i can't find any research to bolster the question i'd formulated. it would have just been my own analysis
#and we're required to have four sources. so that's that out the window.
#the weekend passes and i'm officially in ''late assignment'' territory
#and it's the last week before spring break so i'm swamped w/other work and midterm tests and everything
#so yesterday my friend and i call to work on ours together (we always proofread each other's stuff/give each other pointers and whatnot)
#and i'm just lost on what my essay should be about. any sort of question i could explore.
#she has something of an idea for hers but not much. so neither of us get ours done
#the assignment fully closes tonight
#so we try again. i manage a half-hearted intro paragraph with zero direction and one source
#and then i just hit a wall. the sources i'm looking at don't give me any new insights or ideas and i've got nothing
#with two hours to the deadline. so i'm thoroughly fucked
#i keep trying and just. yeah no not a thing. and if you notice the timestamp on this post it's past 12am
#guess who didn't finish his essay 🙃
#this is the fucking SECOND TIME THIS HAS HAPPENED. what the FUCK
#fanTASTIC start to my spring break y'all. and the only way i can communicate the specific feeling i'm feeling is through a homestuck gif.
#can i just sink into the earth. that'd be great
#at least now that it's over i don't have to worry about it anymore. i mean there's the guilt obviously but i don't have to *worry*
#God. my mom's gonna be pissed
#if i follow this train of thought any further it's gonna fall down a spiral of responsibility and college and career stuff
#and i don't want to deal with that right now
#so i'm just gonna stop talking. and either go read an angsty fic and cry for catharsis or just go to sleep. we'll see
#i hate getting all personal on the internet but i'd rather yell to the void than bottle it up so. here we are
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