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comicsteve-blog · 4 years

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23ish Things I’ve Learned about the World from Coronavirus.

This is not meant to belittle any of the chaos but to offer some slightly humorous perspective. Here are my quick observations on our new world:

1) ‘Driveway drinks’ are all the rage. - I’m a ‘social social’ distancer (SSD) and proactively socialize from 10-12 feet away. Most of us have reluctantly embraced social distancing. However, if you’re a social person, the creative emphasis is on the “social” part, not the “distance”. New taglines are emerging such as “Hey let’s eat not together”, “Facetime drinks anyone?”, or “Love to see you from 7 feet away!” Personal space will never be…. the …… same.

· (as an aside, there’s definitely a subset of the population who's thrilled to have a valid reason to be as anti-social as possible... you people know who you are).

2) Join me for a scotch by phone! Zoom video happy hours (ZVHH) will be a new thing. And they’re much cheaper to host - I open the Zoom room, you bring your own alcohol. Pants not required.

3) Household dynamics have changed - Stay at home moms & dads now have stressed out working from home husbands & wives, plus children learning at home. You’re forced to share your space, which can cause major distress. Soon each person will be assigned a room. Who gets the kitchen as their safe space? Who gets the bathroom? Trades will be made, fights will occur. I’ll trade you an avocado for use of the toilet.

4) Pre-Corona sanitizing – was there any? With everyone’s justified obsession with constant handwashing and sanitizing, it begs the question: Were we all dirty and unsanitary beforehand?? Was the subway ever sanitary? When was the last time my crappy gym was cleaned? Howie Mandel aside, I’m just not clear on where we stood on cleanliness in the past?

5) Demographic trends are emerging – Here are the top predicted trends that will emerge in the coming months/years: Corona-babies. Corona-divorces. Highest percentage of babies born to the recently divorced. Babies named Corona to honor their conception. Babies born very, very clean.

6) Spouse anxiety inequity (SAI) – This occurs when your spouse is exponentially more worried than you are. You’re ok with washing hands and taking basic precautions. But you’re not as keen to go apesh*t with your paranoia. One spouse is freaking out, the other is fine. Kids are confused, households divided. There are hand washing timers and toilet paper square limits. Of course, intimacy is out of the question until everything has been sufficiently washed for 20 seconds or more.

7) Newfound family time (NFT) - People have discovered things they never knew existed: 1) walks are a thing 2) family togetherness 3) nature. We didn’t need Trump to make America great again, it was the coronavirus. If there’s one thing we can be grateful for: newfound family love 😊. (note: too much of this will promptly lead to divorce).

8) Emails, so many emails! – Every company I’ve ever shopped or transacted at in the past 15 years has sent me emails. I get hundreds a day from businesses I forgot all about. It’s good to be back in touch Pilates studio I went to once 11 years ago! And I’m glad to hear you’re disinfecting your counters.

9) Physical greetings have eternally changed - Hand shaking is gone forever. Fist bumping is thankfully gone. Elbow shakes are a new thing. Head nods are nice. Finger guns are making a strong comeback. What else will emerge?

10) Rules about remote schooling – While teaching virtually, schools are encouraging kids to use Facetime and social media to be safe. Education by Tik-tok?? Despite the near term logic, everything we’ve been yelling at them about the past 10 years is out the window! Between social distancing and strictly electronic communication, I worry if kids will ever learn to talk to people in person? Is eye contact still a thing?

On the other hand, it’s a strange kind of torture for kids to be out of school yet unable to see their friends or play ball in the park.

11) Conversation about anything but Coronavirus is no longer a thing - I for one am burned out. I’m not trying to downplay the chaos; I’m just anxious and frustrated at having the same conversation repeatedly. Can we maybe discuss something else - even for a minute? Still, regardless of whatever topic you begin to explore during dinner, it inevitably gets turned back to COVID-19 in the end (even sex).

12) Watching the news is the most dangerous activity you can do - Nothing brings panic and anxiety more than CNN. By the way, has anything else happened in the news in the past week? Isn’t this an election year? I don’t know that I’ve heard any other stories. I feel badly for people who get sick or injured from non-COVID19 things… no one seems to care. (unless of course you’re Tom Hanks and have contracted COVID-19).

13) Reevaluating what you buy in the grocery store - You used to have a plan. Now you gladly take whatever’s left on the shelf. We don’t eat this. We do now!

· Only loser pasta is left. Gluten free, pasta made from chickpeas (what??).

· While the chicken is gone, there’s tons of fake meat available. Impossible!

· As a related aside, is there a reason everyone’s buying 18 cartons of toilet paper? Does coronavirus cause diarrhea? (does fake meat?)

· What’s the protocol for produce? It’s out and has clearly been touched. Hmmm. To be safe, I recommend turning all fruit into sangria “to kill the germs”

· Finally, I almost got into a knife fight at Shoprite last night because some fool tried to grab a bag of that delicious yellow Vigo rice out of my shopping cart. Some things are worth fighting for (as an aside, you can have my gluten free bread and oat milk).

14) The accidental cough (TAC) - God forbid someone coughs or sneezes publicly; they’re immediately met with dread. How dare you! Stay away! A sneeze on the bus is perhaps the most appalling thing anyone could do right now. The dry cough? Even worse. Please keep your non-corona bodily reactions to yourself.

15) Homemade hand sanitizer is a thing – I heard some are wasting perfectly good Tito’s vodka to try and make their own hand sanitizer. Tito’s had to put out a statement that it doesn’t work because the alcohol content is too low. In unrelated news, the moonshine business is really taking off nicely.

16) Watching sports – Seems like the sports networks, having run out of things to discuss, are now playing classics. I enjoyed the Mets-Expos 17 inning game from 1988 but seriously there’s got to be better programming options. We’re all home watching TV after all. BTW, if COVID-19 can’t boost network TV ratings, I’m not sure what could. (also please stop broadcasting video game football, that’s not a real sport).

17) Avoid large gatherings - Done. Small gatherings are all the rage. 50+ no good. 49 or under… no problem. (note this # changes daily, soon 7 will be the new cap).

18) Bars were closed on St. Patrick’s Day ☹ - This is an oxymoron. So what are we to do? Host a Zoom happy hour of course. Up to 49 people can attend (not sure I know that many people). I do feel bad for bar owners – their Superbowl has been cancelled.

19) No fighting – Somewhat related to St. Patty’s, fighting is now a thing of the past. You can aggressively curse someone out for coughing in public. Unless that person is unconcerned, there will be no physical retaliation. Go ahead, try it.

20) Travel deals anyone? Sure I imagine all travel may be shut down soon…. But in the meantime, you can quickly (and irresponsibly) book a trip to Florida for $50, the Caribbean for $75, or the space station on the moon for $179. Depending on your risk tolerance and recklessness, this is a great opportunity to see the world.

21) Ignore the stock market – Like everybody else, I watch in disgust as my investments plunge. But I don’t need this money tomorrow, so I’m doing my best to ignore it. Plus there are some obvious areas to potentially invest in: Zoom. Reckitt Benckiser (owns Lysol). Gojo Industries (owns Purell). P&G (TP). Netflix. And of course alcohol and cannabis companies are always a safe bet.

22) Classes at the Polo Club are shut down – this is perhaps the worse tragedy of all. The Polo Club in Boca Raton has canceled its classes. For fk’s sake! If my 75-year-old mother can’t start her day with Zumba, all hell is sure to break lose. As a related aside, mah-jongg tiles are basically carriers in and of themselves. You’ve never seen a Florida community spread a virus until a mah-jongg tournament gets underway.

23) Observe young children and animals - I realize that sounds awfully inappropriate. But I love the fact that my dog and kids playing outside are so innocent and naïve during these times. They don’t seem to have a worry in the world and keep enjoying life with a smile (or tail wag). Think like a child or a puppy, maybe you’ll feel better for a moment or two.

Kidding aside, we’re all doing our best to control this pandemic and get over the hump…. I leverage humor to treat my pain, and I think we all could use a little levity right now. Eventually, we’ll overcome and be back to a new normal (minus handshakes and in-person happy hours).

If you need me, I’ll be performing in an empty comedy club down the street. Stay tuned for my next post – foolproof tips on working from home! Stay safe my friends, Steve

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Stephen Strauss survived the corporate world for 20+ years and is now a content and marketing consultant. He’s performed stand-up comedy hundreds of times at comedy clubs and corporate functions including sales meetings and customer events. Research confirms his jokes made his fellow co-workers 47% happier.

Please connect at [email protected], via LinkedIn, or just open your window and scream his name (that's probably safest).

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gocasualrunawaycollection-blog · 6 years

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insurance quotes la vernia texas

"insurance quotes la vernia texas

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Hello, Does anyone know the average cost for motorcycle insurance in Arizona?""

Insurance & newborns?

So I went down and added my baby onto my caresource... BUT I don't have an insurance card for him. How will I be able to take him to the doctors if I don't have proof of insurance for him? I have proof of insurance for me is that enough? Also I haven't made any appointments for him to have a doctors visit yet, when should I make one?""

Do car insurance rate drop when one turns 25?

If so, how much? I'll be 25 in 3 weeks.""

""16, got a car brought for me.. can anyone help me with an insurance question?""

i'm 17 in 3 weeks.. and my parents brought me a car, it has no insurance but we need to get it back to my house. as i'm only 16, does it have to be on my parents insurance until my birthday?""

Can i go on to parents insurance and get car loan ?

okay can i go on my parents insurance and apply for a car loan iv asked many times on this site about how i could get car loan and how and if i need co sighner im 20 and want to buy a 08 for 4x4 estimated value is 25,000 i have now credit history just got job now i have a way around it can i go on to my parents insurance and get a loan cause they have good credit and ill pay everything cause if i try to get this done on my own people will give me high interest and throw it at me i could only afford 200$ a month can i let my parents show there good credit and get mea good payment a month""

Can I get insurance?Plz answer?

So I'm 16 and hav a 2002 BMW 325i and want insurance do u thInk 500$ a month would b enough

How long can you take leave for NJ short term disability?

I've been at my current job since December so I am ineligible for FMLA. However, I understand that short term disability for pregnancy gives you 4 weeks prior to your anticipated due date and then 6 weeks after. Is this correct? Can this amount of time change if your company uses a private insurance plan vs submitting directly through the state.""

Car insurance for 17 year old?

my son will be driving my car for a couple times, so do i have to put him as a name under my insurance? and if i get him a car in a few months what is a reliable insurance company that is affordable?""

Help with car insurance........................

i am 16 but when i turn 17 i want to pass my driving tests. my worry is car insurance. i want to buy a little car like Peugeot 206 1.4 or something similar but i have checked insurance companies and their quotes are ridiculous so my dad said that if i give him the money to buy the car he can then insure it on his insurance and add me as an additional driver so i can sometimes drive it to my mates or whatever. i have heard of something called fronting and i was just wondering if then we would be doing that or would everything be legal. thanks in advance Matt

Car insurance help? ?

Car insurance for a school permit? my question involves teen drivers and insurance i am a 15 year old in iowa, i would like to get a school permit (in iowa, this allows me to drive to and from school over the most direct route without an adult in the vehicle)because of the many extracurriculars I'm involved with. my dad was wondering though if it would be very expensive to get me on the insurance plan. here are some factors -we are with westfield insurrance -I'm a 15 year old girl -honor student -passed drivers ed with an A -my parents work at the school, so i would catch a ride when i could with them, i would only probably use the school permit for late night or early morning practices (i mention this because i read that if a person only drives occasionally it could lower costs slightly? ) -never been in an accident or been pulled over -i wouldn't be driving a fast car, probably our van or pontiac grand am any estimates on costs? my dad said that i wouldn't be able to get on the insurance if it was 100 or more $ a year, so if you could give me some suggestions on how to lower it or any tips at all, i would really appreciate it""

How much would full coverage auto insurance in California cost if i've had my license for 9 1/2 years?

Plus a good driving record & I am 29 years old.

Can I drive my parents car without insurance?

Can I drive my parents car without insurance, the car is insured under my parents name, ( we live at the same address) and also can I drive someone elses car without insurance with his or her permission""

Does anyone know where to get affordable insurance rates for high risk drivers?

Any insurance companies offering affordable insurance for high risk drivers

Is it possible to obtain a learner's permit without having my parents' insurance rates go up?

I am a 16 year old in NY and my parents do not want me to obtain a learner's permit because they are afraid that their insurance rates will go up and they cannot afford it now. Now, a friend told me that I could go to the NY DMV without my parents and get a learner's permit. Is this possible? I would like a learner's permit not only for the ability to drive, but also as a solid form of photo ID (like, instead of a passport). What should I do about this? PS. My parents won't be convinced.""

Good morning! Can anyone suggest a good dental insurance plan?

We had blue cross and blue shield and were not happy with it! We live in a semi small area and the only dentist office that accepted our plan never called us back after 15 voice mails and NEVEr answered their phones so we never were able to make an appointment! So I cancelled the policy. We need some dental insurance. I need to take my son in to get his teeth looked at and my husbands. We live in FL and there just doesn't seem to be a lot that I'm finding. Anyone have a suggestion?

Private health insurance plan needed?

I was layed off and need to enroll into a health insurance plan. My Cobra is going to be 700 just for me alone. I really need to have insurance but that's sooo expensive any hints or help is very much appreciated.

""I wanna buy a 2008 car, how much would i pay for the insurance?

i am 30 years old and i just got my driver's license

How much would it cost to insure a late model 15 passenger van used in a shuttle service?

I'm in the Grand Canyon State. Do i get a better deal if i insure more than one unit ?

Why is our group health insurance so much more expensive than getting an individual plan privately?

My husband gets insurance through his work, and they take out $170 a week (he gets paid weekly). So that totals about $730 a month for us and our kids plus maternity benefits. What confuses me is if we were to drop that insurance and get an individual plan with the same company, same deductible, same co-pay, including maternity benefits (exactly the same plan) it would run us about $440 a month. I thought that the whole point of getting on a group plan was that it would be cheaper. I would be okay with it being the same as private but it makes absolutely zero sense to me that it would be almost twice as much... Anybody want to explain? Or are they just screwing us over?""

Aircraft insurance rates with DUI/DWI?

If one is a partner in a small airplane, what effect would a potential DUI/DWI have on current insurance rates?""

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Costs of insurance for Young people 16?

Could you write how much do/did you pay/paid for your insurance now/before?? Also could you add you car engine etc..

Can you remove yourself from your parents' health insurance voluntarily?

I just would like to know. Is it possible? Thanks.

Is Auto Insurance cheaper in Florida or Georgia?

Infertility insurance?

Does any one know of a good provider or some one with an insurance rider for infertility? I have great health insurance, except it dosent cover that! I should say that I live in Kentucky. Thanks""

In regards to life insurance policies?

When a person is the primary beneficiary & the deceased left debt, does the money for the unpaid debt come out first or is the beneficiary responsible for paying the debt?""

What is the insurance on a 2004 gti?

I'm under 18 i was wondering if it counts as a family car for insurance companies therefore it would be cheap to insure if it helps I have farmers insurance I just need some opinions on if it's cheap or facts and does the 4dr gti make the insurance any cheaper?

""If you have full insurance, and the car is totaled, will the insurance cover the car?""

I have full insurance, and got in a pretty bad accident. The car is totaled... wrecked. I had full insurance... but since it is almost completely destroyed, how will the insurance handle it? I got rear ended, and the car spun out of control, going 50 miles an hour. It knocked me out... By the way, I'm lucky I'm alive! And will never drive again in my life! I am 19...""

BEST HEALTH INSURANCE FOR SICKLY...WITH A MINIMUM COLLEGE EDUCATION-?

22 y/o and have Cystic Fibrosis its a genetic disease (debilitating lung disease) Eventually kills you, supposedly by age 38 yeah yeah i know. right now i'm on Disability because i need Medicare and Medicaid to cover my expenses. And unable to work do to health conditions at the moment. BUT i want to work when i am able, and i do have my associates and want to obtain my bachelors degree. WHAT JOB (probably for the Union or Governemnt) can i get that has GOOD health Insurance that will not strain my health. ( I cannot work in medical field due too freq. lung infections) My Yearly Bills add up to at a minimun $50,000 and if i go in the hospital several times a year over $100,000.. also have monthly bills for antibiotics, and hospital and doctor visits, testing ECT. If i ever get or need a double lung transplant that costs over $500,000 and i need the medical to pay for it when that day arrives. I DO NOT want sympathy i need people to understand my condition and can point me in the right direction. I hate taking peoples hard earned cash, and i will not do it when i don't need to. I am not on my death bed yet and do not need to be on it the rest of my life.""

What type of driving course reduces insurance?

What type of driving course from the driving school reduces insurance for new drivers?

Car wreck and insurance?

Today I was in car wreck. I was in a parking lot going straight and the other driver turned left in to my car. She has dented the whole left side of my car. I called the police but because it was in a parking lot they could not do much. An officer showed up because she refused to give me her proof insurance. The officer said she was clearly at fault but could not cite her because of the private property thing. My question is does anyone know or have any idea how this will play out with her insurance? My car has a lot of damage and i'm in a lot of pain. I won't be able to go to the doctor/hospital until tomorrow because I won't have the money for a co-pay until then. The officer was very nice, he sided with me put all the blame on her, she claimed it was an accident when she clearly just didn't stop before making a left into my car, I thought she was going to stop and I tried to avoid her but she was going to fast. We both have insurance and we're in Arizona if that helps. If you have any advice for insurance or anything it would be much appreciated, thank you for your time""

Is Foremost Auto Insurance good insurance?

I am looking at switching to Foremost for my auto insurance and was wondering if anyone had any comments or experiences about auto insurance through Foremost Insurance company.

How can I locate the Insurance Company that provides coverage for a California resident?

Do i need to call my car insurance company?

I was in a car accident today and it was not a small accident. I hit a car on its side. there was an older woman so an ambulance came but she ended up not being hurt, just procautionary. the police were called and they took all my info and whatnot. It was wierd the police did not give me any papers or anything and told me i could leave. they just asked me if i wanted my car towed and i said no. the police officer also told me when i asked him that i dont need to call my insurance company unless i want to make a claim. is that true? i only have 1 way insurance so im probably going to scrap my car. I always thought u should call them no matter what, do you know if i am obligated to call them or will they contact me? location: Quebec, Canada thanks a bunch, Tyler""

Volkswagen Golf SR insurance?

I have just bought a Volkswagen Golf SR (import) 8v 1.6 ltr and I am having trouble finding an insurance company that lists this car. Has anyone else got this model and who do you have your insurance with? Thanks for reading

What would have more insurance a 2007 dodge charger 3.5l or a 2004 Nissan 350z?

Need to know just overall what would be the better car and what would have better insurance rates

""I cheated my husband he knows but still wants to keep me and the marriage,but dont love him anymore,what i do?""

i'm still staying with him he change to make me happy i gave him a chance i have 2 kids for their sake i stayed but still i'n not happy i rather have to divorce him i know i will have a peace of mine i want to do something that makes me happy he's a boring guy i just did'nt ralized that b4 coz i'm bc taking care of my 2 kids but now they're teenagers i suddenly realized how boring my life is,i'm 44 yrs old and i knoe i still can find better life ahead of me with the right person with me so i need help outthere if i really have to sacrifice ny happiness for the sake of my marriage and for the my kids? my husband is not really a good provider we both have financial problem he had his money i have my own,i dont have a name on his bank account either his on mine he paid all the bills,i paid the daycare and the clothes for me and the kids,the sch. lunch for 1 kid him the other kid,i paid the car insurance which it's not my name but since i'm the one using it.so pls. help what shall i do?""

Car accident happens when the car's insurance is not your name?

If Car accident happens, and the car that you were driving the car's insurance is not your name. If call 911,will you get arrested or what? and will that car insurance company pay for the damage that you did to other car?""

Why did my car insurance premium increase?

This seems to happen every six months for no rhyme or reason. NO tickets, NO accidents, NO claims, same location, same number of miles driven, etc, etc. Yet, my premium increases from $370 per six months to $420, which forces me to switch to a different insurance company that offers a quote inline with the previous insurer's rate. However, after six months with the new insurer, the premium increases again and I'm forced to switch insurers yet again. What gives?""

Is insurance for a two door car higher than a four door car's?

is insurance for a two door car higher than a four door car's?

What happens if to my insurance if i get married?

My parents pay for my insurance and ill have it till I'm 19 if I get married would I no longer have insurance?

Can a person that is temporarily non-UK tax resident to be the policy holder in her own car insurance policy?

In May this year , my wife got a job in a joint venture abroad. Her contract is for 3 years after which she will return home Due to obvious reasons , for the above period she is a non-UK tax pay resident. The insurance policy of the car she is the owner and policy holder of is about to expire very soon. Is she legally allowed to renew her policy as main policy holder or not?""

How is the health insurance subsidies calculated?

Just wondering how the affordable care insurance tax subsidies are calculated? Is it based on last years wages or estimated wages of the year you are applying for the health insurance. Let's say I made $100,000 last year and retired this year and applied for the affordable care insurance. Say my estimated taxable income for 2014 was $40,000 with family of four, can I get government subsidies?""

Insurance for learner drivers?

I am going to put on the insurance of my Granny's brand new Kia Picanto next month to practise driving as well as having lessons. My grandparents, parents & me are going to be insured and I just wanted to know what the cheapest insurance company for learner driver's were. I have already used comparethemarket.com but some were very expensive. Are there any cheap insurance companies for learner drivers? I am aged 17""

""What's wrong with my car, Damage and Insurance Question?""

Two days ago, I was involved in a car accident. Allow me to explain what happened. I was stopping at a stop sign, and as I put my foot on the brake, there was some black ice, and my car slid through the stop sign, straight into the intersection, where a woman hit me in the rear end of my car, which spun my car around, making my tap the back of her car as well. My car was barely left with a dent, and driving away from the scene, my car was just fine. However, when I went to drive it this morning, I noticed something was up with the back end. Whenever I hit a bump, it feels like the back end backs up, and fishtails away from the front of the car. Can you tell me what's up with my car, and how much it would be to fix whatever it is? Also, assuming you understand what happened in the accident, and knowing that I and the other woman have insurance, can you tell me who would end up paying for the damage done to her car, and whose fault it really was? Will insurance cover her damage, and if so, whose company is going to cover it? Hers or mine?""

Car insurance cost and car's cost?

I'm 28 years old and I'm girl. I would like to buy a smart. First: Do you know approximately the cost for insurance car (this is my first time). Second: What are the other annual car's cost? and how much approximately they are? Thanks.

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