This Is Reena Fantabulous over the next few weeks she will tell you all about life as a futuristic pirate. Reena loves tall tales so it is up to you what you decide is the truth. She also loves pond scum a green concoction whose formula is known only by the most trusted bar wenches… when in her inebriated state is when Reena tells her best fables. In february Reena declared that valentines day was for suckers and took off for Capital Sci fi con in Edinburgh where she met a whole heap of Fantabulous folk. She planned on attending Dundee comic con and Deecon this year however a pesky virus doing the rounds has her confined to her skiff for the time being. She plans on coming to more events in the future and where Reena is involved shenanigans are always at play. So watch this space for details of where you can meet Reena she always likes to meet adoring fans and rekindle with old flames- if she has had enough pond scum that is. 

part1.1

Old Anancie creaked her back and slid on her clogs then headed down the rickety stairs to the tavern. She kicked aside a frothy tankard and grabbed the stick broom. Muttering to herself about dirty galoots she began to sweep the hay from the floor towards the tavern door.

From the corner stall a large bulk stirred and Anancie mumbled again about lazy layabouts. She wedged the door open with her foot and swept the dirty hay out the door. A stable boy was sleeping against the barn and Anancie tried to catch his attention. The boy yawned then turned over then Anancie picked up a fork and launched it at the boy. He yelped and jumped to his feet. Still half asleep he made a stretchy face and walked towards Anancie who was now standing waiting impatiently for the boy to get his act together. She tossed the stick broom at the boy who half heartedly began sweeping the hay towards the barn.

Anancie went back into the tavern and began spreading fresh hay on the floor from a bale she kept under the bar. She grabbed a handful and a rat leapt out, Anancie had seen this happen more times than she cared to count but it still shocked her every time. She jolted backwards and knocked several tankards off the shelf, the bulk in the corner stirred knocking over a chair he opened one eye and screwed his face up. He glanced towards old Anancie who was screeching and hopping about as the rat was circling her feet. He stood up and tossed his blade over the bar it landed and glanced off the rat stunning it. He snorted a little bit and stumbled across the bar, he grabbed the rat by the tail and then stumbled out of the tavern knocking more tables and chairs as he went.

He battered open the barn and then was suddenly woken fully by the most tremendous screech. “ok ok I’m a comin” he says and stodged towards the darker part of the barn where a creature was hopping about dragging around the poor stable boy by the rope the boy was attempting to hold onto. He tossed the rat towards the creature who devoured it in one snap. This seemed to tame the beast slightly but excite it a little bit at the same time. “ that’s all I got for now” he blurts “but I’ll get you more in a bit” he nodded towards the stable boy who was still struggling to hold onto the creature and left to go back to the tavern where he slumped himself back in the corner.

He pointed at Anancie who rolled her eyes still picking up the chairs and tables. “Grack, I still have to clear those tankards. You want ale get it yersel.” “nah I’ll wait” replied Grack. Anancie rolled her eyes again and flapped her hand at him. “ye areny getting no sloshed today anyway, I got a messenger comin today he’ll hae jobs for ye” Grack stared blankly “I can still drink and work” he declared. “yeah… nah that taxi still turns awa all my customers from that time you…..” she stretched out her neck and nodded towards Grack. He thought for a minute he laughed to himself and nodded remembering good old times. Anancie looked toward him scornfully, she widened her eyes, clenched her teeth and shook her head at him slowly.

 Soon the tavern was filled with folk waiting for the market to open and the regulars. Grack was on his 3rd ale when the door of the tavern swung open, a woman in leather boots and a huge stack of books strapped to her back  barged her way through the crowd to the bar. She slapped a note on the bar and ordered up a steak and ale. Anancie eyed her from the side as she poured a tankard of ale. “you new bout these bits” the woman downed the tankard and slammed it down on the bar she pointed into the tankard and nodded, Anancie refilled it. “ Yep my name Is Reena Fantabulous, I travel the lands looking for work and I heard that this is the place to come”. Anancie looked over to Grack still slumped in the corner. “you wanna go talk to him over there” she pointed to Grack. “I’ve got work comin later, he’ll tell you bout what goes on ere, but you got experience with this stuff? The jobs we get aint easy stuff ye kin!” Anancie  looked at the woman with suspicion. “oh yeah!” said Reena nodding she looked to her right and cleared her throat. “I once took on 3 tyrantsaurs”

Anancie looked sceptical but for some reason she was inclined to believe Reena. “well all right then I’ll give ye a go, go talk to Grack. He’ll tell ye whits whit.” Anacie handed Reena another tankard and nodded at Grack. Reena picked up both tankards and more carefully this time crossed her way to the corner of the tavern. She put down the tankards on the table and before the horn even touched the straw mat Grack had snatched it and was already drinking. “steady on big guy there’s more where that came from” Grack looked at Reena for a few seconds as if to say who are you? And then continued to drink.

Reena sat down at the table and put out her hand. “I’m Reena Fantabulous I travel the lands looking for work and I  heard th..” Grack slammed down an empty tankard and put his hand up to Reena’s face while he belched. Reena stopped talking she looked at Grack waiting for him to say something. Grack straightened himself a bit knocking over the chair in front of him, the tavern went quiet for a few seconds before everyone went back to what they were doing. “ the work I do is tough I don’t know you are up to it. Grack looked at Reena like he didn’t believe she would be any use to him at all. “I once took on 3 tyrantsaurs all by myself” Reena was a bit nervous waiting to see if he would believe her. Grack looked taken aback he had heard all sorts over his years of hero work but never had he been so convinced by such a blatant lie. “maybe I do have work for you” he said intrigued. Reena raised her eyebrows a bit impressed that he was able to see through her lie not many people she had met over the years could see through her trickery. She asked him when work would come. Grack shrugged his shoulders and made a who knows face. So Reena kicked her feet up onto the table and got comfy to read one of her books. Grack looked over the rim of his tankard and through blurry eyes managed to catch the title of the book….. Deception.

 It was well after lunch when the messenger entered the tavern he was drenched from head to toe having walked the whole way. He snuck his way through the tavern to the bar where he shuddered off his soaking cape and began to rub his hands together.

Anancie stuck a steaming bowl of something in front of him. The messenger pulled up a hood and placed his face over the bowl. In a few minutes he had warmed up a bit and from his undercoat pulled a scroll and handed it to Anancie. Anancie removed the bowl and replaced it with a bowl of stew and a tankard of water. She had met this messenger before and knew the journey he had just taken was treacherous and long so once he was finished with the stew she handed him a key to one of the boarding rooms upstairs and he retired there to dry off.

Anancie crossed the tavern with two more tankards and the scroll tucked under her arm she put the tankards down in front of Grack and Reena and then handed Grack the scroll. He took a slug of the ale then peeled the seal off the scroll. “all right let’s see what’s happening today” he declared to no one in-particular. He looked the scroll up and down pursing his lips and nodding, he stroked his beard rolled up the scroll and tucked it into a long pocket on the inside of his huge coat. He heaved himself up and pulled himself out of the stall then stotted to the bar. He handed the scroll back to Anancie and she looked it up and down then handed it back with a parcel of food and some notes then grabbed a bucket from under the bar filled with what can only be described as slop. Grack grabbed the handle of the bucket and headed towards the door. “ye coming?” he shouted to Reena and she hopped up, grabbed her stack of books, downed what was left of her ale then barged her way out of the tavern. She followed Grack who was stumbling towards the barn. He heaved open the door and disappeared into the dark. Reena jogged to catch up and apprehensively entered the barn not too sure about the noises she heard from inside. Once her eyes adjusted she saw Grack feeding the creature the bucket of slop. This time the creature was sat still enjoying the contents of the bucket so much it was chirping with delight. Grack was patting the side of the creatures head and talking to it in a soothing voice. Reena approached slowly not wanting to spook the creature. Grack gestured to her to come closer and she reached out to touch it. The creature stopped eating for a second it’s eyes locked with Reena’s. For a second Reena straightened her back, puffed out her chest and acted as brave as she could. The creature went back to eating and Reena breathed a sigh of relief.

“this is Peabidy” Grack said still patting the creature. “We’ve to go to Zommerfate, it’s 3 days by foot or….. Peabidy can get us there by tonight.” When Peabidy was done eating Grack untied the rope attached to the harness Peabidy was wearing and he took hold of the reigns and walked the creature out of the barn. He climbed onto the saddle and gestured Reena to do the same. Peabidy eyed Reena as she approached and seemed to be grinning at her. He snapped at her playfully Reena took it to mean just remember I could bite you if I wanted and reached out to pat him one last time before she climbed on. Seconds later Grack pulled on the reigns and Peabidy spread his wings and took to the sky.

 Reena looked down over her shoulder as she clung for dear life onto Gracks jacket she had never even seen a creature like this before let alone flew on one. Peabidy seemed to be having a whale of a time swooping and soaring. Jarl looked back to Reena. “you alright back there” he called out. Reena tried to answer and caught a mouthful of her own hair. She removed one of her clenched hands from Gracks coat and swept back her hair taking note to tie it back next time. “Yep do this all the time” she answered. Grack rolled his eyes and shook his head. “just don’t clench him so hard with your feet or he will never let you back on” Grack teased. Reena eased off her boots from the side of the magnificent beast and seemed to relax a bit.

She dared to look down again this time the sky was slightly clearer and she was able to see workers in the fields and children fishing by the stream. She saw a caravan of travelling merchants on the road heading in the same direction. She saw creatures she had never seen before and was marvelled by it all. She slowly released the grip on Gracks jacket and with one hand reached down and petted Peabidy on the side. His leg shook a little bit in delight so she did it again. He cackled and Grack looked at Reena. “you wanna drive?” he said with a stern look on his face. “nope” Reena replied hastily. “then keep your hands to yourself or he might just shake you off.” Grack warned her. Reena decided that it was a long way down and she would pet Peabidy when they land.

She was back to hanging on to Grack for dear life. But her grip on the creature was less tense. Her heart pounded the entire journey and when they landed just outside Zommerfate she took a minute to regain her composure before she untangled her hair and shook herself together. “ok now what” she asked? Grack explained to her that Peabidy was not allowed inside the city and told the creature to get lost. Reena wondered if the creature would return for them or if it would fly off never to be seen again. “he’ll be back” Grack reassured as though he could read Reena’s mind. He gestured that they should enter the city and Reena followed him watching Peabidy fly off into the distance. The city guard approached the pair and asked what their business was. Grack produced the scroll from his jacket and gave it to the guard. The guard nodded and told him that the lord in the manor was waiting to see them and that they should head there first. They entered the city and Reena started to head toward the manor.

Grack stops in the road and Reena stops also. “where are you going?” he asked her. “to the manor!” she replies with a confused look on her face. “you haven’t done this before have you?” Grack asks ready to not believe anything she tells him next. “ale?” Reena asks anticipating Gracks next port of call. “ale!” Grack proclaimed nodding towards Rockhill Inn. Reena rolled her eyes, she should have known. She decided she should catch up on some reading while He drank. They both entered the Inn and Grack plonked himself in the corner and pointed at the barkeep. He had been there before and the barkeep knew to bring him ale and keep it coming.  He had quite the reputation in these parts as both a drunk and a hero. So a few people congregated around him to listen to his tales of peril and adventure. Reena knew if she sat with him she would not have a chance to read so she scouted the inn for a place to sit. At the end of the bar she spotted a hooded figure with a tankard of milk and a bowl of oats. Infront of the figure was a stack of books not unlike her own so she thought to herself this would be a good place to sit.

She plonked herself onto a barstool and caught the attention of the barkeep. “Steak and ale” she instructed and the barkeep left to fulfil her order. She held out a hand to the hooded figure sitting next to her “Reena fantabulous” she sat looking at the figure who was yet to look up from his book. She repeated herself holding her hand closer to the figure. He looked up from his book and turned his head slightly towards Reena.. ”you’re a girl” he spoke quietly before returning to his book. “all right!” Reena said to herself before opening a book of her own. Her food and drink arrived and she tucked in whilst reading. Occasionally she looked up to make sure Grack was still in his corner. She decided after his fifth ale that they were going nowhere today and arranged with the Innkeeper to stay overnight. She retired to her room for the night leaving Grack and the hooded figure to their own devices.

This outfit was a custom order for this customer. She looks fabulous. 

Reena often commisions street vendors to create small portraits that she can use as bookmarks. This week a particular vendor called Rick has become infactuated with her and keeps bringing her new portraits. #Reenafantabulous #ladypirate #norrycustomdesigns # Reenasbazzar