cana before tenrou -- part 1 of a longer post

cana has had 3 parents in her life. the first being her mother. cana's mother was kind, caring, beautiful, and could do no wrong in her eyes. for the first 8 or so years of her life all she had was her mother. sure, her mom had told her stories of her father but he always seemed far away. he was like a myth, the strongest man in the west, he seemed untouchable compared to her mother who was always here for her. then her mom died and cana has no choice but to go on a quest to find this legendary hero.

fairy tail doesn't have any children in their guild. being a mage is dangerous work, not something a child should be doing, at least not one as young as cana. that's what makarov thinks as he looks at this little girl, but she did come all this way and she said she has no where else to go. perhaps it will be okay, just this once. she won't go on any quests yet, not until she's older but she can do some work around the guild.

cana is glad fairy tail accepted her, she really doesn't have anywhere else to go. she's not sure what fairy tail saw in her that her father didn't but small victories. cana's never doubted her mother and she never thought of her father, but now her whole life has flipped. her mother used to tell her that her father loved them and if he could he would be with them, and cana's never doubted that, but now she's not sure. cana can't stop thinking about her father, nor can she stop doubting her mother's words. did he even know he had a daughter? all she wanted to hear him say was her mother loved them and if she could she would be here with them.

macao and wakaba don't want kids. in fact, they don't really like them that much. ivan's ankle biter, laxus, is about as hyperactive and annoying as they come. they hoped another kid in the guild would help mellow him out, but cana isn't playful, she's sad -- really sad. it's honestly hard for them to watch how she mopes around the guild. unbeknownst to them she's mourning her mother and relationship with her father. wakaba worries if it's healthy for a kid to frown that much and her always red rimmed eyes are enough to make anyone feel bad. so they decide to take matter into their own hands and take her out on a job. nothing dangerous, the library needed help sorting some books. it's boring and they'd never choose a job like this but it's good for cana.

it's clear to cana that macao and wakaba have never handled children before. they're awkward, clearly knowing nothing about what children like, and inattentive, just letting her walk off and not even noticing. they're nothing like her mother, but they always come looking for her, so clearly they're nothing like her father either. cana is craving any type of parental affection so she quickly latches on to them and surprisingly they don't mind.

as cana got older more kids came to the guild. cana always welcomed new additions, she liked having more people to play with. laxus had recently entered his angsty teen phase and didn't like running around with her anymore. so when natsu joins she greets him with open arms, the more the merrier.

then gildarts comes back. over the years cana has never gathered the courage to tell gildarts of her identity. not that she had many chances considering he never stayed at the guild for more than a week. still she craved a relationship with him so whenever he left she would bring him a lunch and wave goodbye. she asked makarov once why he didn't stay longer, why he never seemed interested in hanging around. master had seen through her, and told her it wasn't personal, that gildarts' was always like that. he was a nomad at heart and didn't care for children. cana accepted that -- so why was gildarts smiling so much at natsu? why whenever he came back to the guild he would stay longer to hang out with him? was it because natsu challenged him? was it a strength thing? even though he's younger than her, natsu is strong, and apparently he was raised by a dragon. is that what she needs to be to get gildarts attention?

if cana was bitter toward natsu after a visit from gildarts no one mentioned it. although gray did look at her weirdly. macao and wakaba were always so irresponsible with children. what were they thinking leaving alcohol in the reach of her? now cana understood why adults drank alcohol so much, it makes everything a little bit easier. cana has had 3 parents in her life, and not one of them was her father.