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cupofbrownsugar · 2 years

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okay guys this is getting out of hand more centaur au this is truly just for me i’m having so much fun with this dumb idea lol here we go. jason and salim are deer, nick’s a moose, eric and rachel are horses

“Okay, I have a new plan.”

“Uh huh.”

“If I show him how strong I am, that’ll scare him off, right? Maybe I could like, flex? Or lift a log or somethin’. Maybe kick over a stump.”

“Mhmm.”

“...Are you even listening, Nicky?”

“Definitely not.”

Jason turned to his friend, who was sitting peacefully in the grass and sunshine, eyes closed as he intently ignored him. The moose centaur was covered in various jewelry made of braided flowers.

“Why the fuck are you covered in flowers again?”

“Getting courted,” Nick said nonchalantly, throwing a thumb out to point at a nearby hill where two blond horse centaurs quickly ducked away. “I told ‘em I wanted some alone time, but I think they’re jealous.” The heads popped up again just enough to glare at the buck.

“The fuck?” Jason asked, hoof stirring at the dirt, “Are they workin’ together?”

“Honestly, I have no idea,” Nick said with a shrug, taking one of the flowers off himself to eat, “but they’re not very good at it. They are persistent though.”

Jason snorted. “Fuckin’ uppity horses.”

“I hear ya.” Nick stretched and finally opened his eyes, turning his attention to the buck. “So, what’s your plan this time to impress Salim?”

“Not impress, intimidate!” Jason stomped at the earth, kicking up leaves. “Wait, who’s ‘Salim’?”

Nick gave him a withering look. “You’re kidding me. You don’t even know his name? You’ve been trying to flirt with him for weeks.”

“Not flirting, threatening!” Jason’s ears flicked back, and then his eyes widened. “Wait, how do you know that buck’s name?!”

Nick felt three pairs of accusing eyes drilling into him and he sighed. “For the love of- he’s a nice guy, and we’re neighbours, so I goddamn introduced myself like a decent person.”

“Traitor,” Jason hissed while two upset whinnies came from behind the hill.

“Fine!” Nick said as he stood, brushing off the flower jewelry and trotting away, “Then I won’t tell you what would really get his attention.”

“Wait, really?!” Jason cantered after him, ears and tail perked up. “Come on, Nicky, help a buck out, please? Please?! I’ll get you some of those lily pad flowers you like, from the deep part of the pond.”

Nick slowed into a walk, side-eyeing the deer. “The extra deep part. With all the algae.”

“Deal,” Jason replied immediately, nimbly following along, attentive and serious.

“Alright.” Nick looked over his shoulder and sighed again, motioning for Jason to follow. “But let’s lose the ponies first, they’re shit off-trail in these woods.”

“So the thing that would really get Salim...”

It took a while to sludge out into the middle of the pond and even longer to wash off all the mud and algae, but Jason had to admit, Nick’s idea seemed pretty solid. There was a boar that had taken over part of Salim’s territory, and the other buck hadn’t been able to get rid of it. So all Jason had to do was kick that lil’ fucker out, right in front of the other buck, and damn, wouldn’t that scare him off?! Seeing him beat a creature he couldn’t defeat?!

The boar did prove to be... annoying, a big bastard with sharp tusks and that almost nipped off the tip of Jason’s tail. But the buck was quicker, and more agile, and had a back kick that sent the thing flying across the nearby river and squealing away.

“Oorah! That’s right, fuck off, you little shit!” Jason cried out triumphantly, bounding through the leaves. He stomped into the earth, calling after it, “And don’t you come back, ya hear!”

Chest puffed out and preening, tail and antlers held high, he turned to Salim’s makeshift home, a small comfortable-looking dwelling built out of a large old tree. The other buck was peeking out of the doorway, eyes wide and ears back.

“Y-you... defeated that terrible creature...” Salim breathed softly, looking across the river and then back to Jason. He suddenly broke out into a grateful smile. “Thank you!”

Salim bounded out of his home, leaping towards him to grab both of Jason’s hands within his own. “That horrid thing tore up my garden and kept stealing my forages, but for the life of me, I could not chase it off! Thank you!!!”

Jason stared at him wide-eyed, completely overwhelmed at the brightness and closeness of the other man and his smile, the fond appreciation in his voice, the sunset’s warm light washing over his darker skin. “Uh, w-well, I-I-”

“I can’t thank you enough! And you were incredible! I’ve never seen such strong kicks! And such agility!”

Jason could feel himself sweating; this buck’s hands were so soft, so warm. “A-a-ha-haaaa well, I, uh-”

“Oh, where are my manners, let me thank you properly.” Salim leaned in and kissed him softly on both cheeks, and Jason froze stock still, completely flushing pink from his eyebrows to his belly button. Salim quickly added, “And wait just one moment!”

The other buck bounded back into his small home as Jason tried to remember how to breathe again, not even blinking. Salim returned swiftly, carrying a small delicately-tied bag that he placed into Jason’s hands.

“Some tea,” Salim said gently, as pink flushed his own cheeks, “from the flowers you gave me.”

“O-oh,” Jason replied intelligently, holding the small bag as if it could break with any movement.

Salim stepped back, ducking his head and looking up at him from under his eyelashes with his dark warm eyes.

“Thank you, my friend. I am forever grateful.”

“He... gave me a gift.”

“Oh?” Nick tipped his head to look away from the stars above to look at the buck, laid back in the tall grass on the forest cliff with him. “Is that what you’ve been clutching to your chest all night?”

Jason nodded, and brought up the bag to his face, sniffing it curiously. “He said it’s tea. What’s that, do I eat it? It smells sweet.”

Nick snorted a laugh. “No, Jason, do not eat it. What kind of tea is it?”

“It’s... tea from the flowers I gave him...” Jason’s voice trailed off softly in thought, and Nick hummed, pleased. Until the buck sat up suddenly, furious.

“He’s fuckin’ mockin’ me!”

“What.”

“He made... fuckin’ ‘tea’ out of the threat I gave him!” Jason fumed. “That bastard!”

Nick sighed long and suffering, sitting up as well. “You know what, eat the damn tea after all. Maybe that’s what your dumb ass needs right now.”

Jason’s eyes furrowed, and he suddenly flushed deep red again.

“What?” Nick asked tiredly.

“He also...” Jason murmured, “...kissed me on the cheek.” He reached up a hand to touch his face, almost reverently. “Both of ‘em.”

“Yeahhhhhh, we’re getting back there, come on, man,” Nick encouraged.

“He’s definitely mockin’ me!” Jason leapt up, stomping down the tall grass. “Tryin’ to make me seem all weak and shit!”

“I’m surrounded by goddamn idiots,” Nick groaned, falling back into the tall grass. He heard two sad whinnies from the bottom of the cliff and he called out, “Yes, I mean you guys too!”

Jason, meanwhile, started to spit and sputter, trying to get tea leaves off his tongue. “Damnit, how can somethin’ so sweet be so bitter?!”

Nick closed his eyes and sighed, shaking his head. “I ask myself that every damn day.”

#fic #centaur au #no one wanted more of this more than meeeee ee hee hee hee #jalim #jason kolchek #salim othman #nick kay #eric king #rachel king #nick x eric x rachel #our favourite himbo jason kolchek

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