Zack, always the bamboozled and excessively enthusiastic Puppy.

Between The Lines (a Zack Addy fanfiction)

Request for @iamcheese13 : If you’re still taking fanfic request for Zack Addy from Bones, can I have Zack finally being released from prison and having a heart to heart with his ex-girlfriend, who is now happily married and has a child? Thank you!

Author’s note: This fic is... angsty, and kinda took on a life of it’s own. I got a long of inspiration from the song Between The Lines by Sara Bareilles. Reader x ex Zack, reader x Aubrey. Enjoy!

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“Zack lied,” Dr. Brennan said, looking at you with more emotion in her eyes than you had ever seen. Instantly, the wind was knocked out of you, and you sank down to your knees...

“Y/N, Y/N!” Your eyes shot open, suddenly shocked back to the present. “Hey, honey, are you okay?” your husband asks. “Oh, uh, yeah James, I’m okay,” you respond, offering up a smile that you hope looks more reassuring than you feel. His expression softens. “Nervous about today?” Before you could answer, your daughter comes bounding in. “Mommy, mommy!” she cries out, more energy in her short 4 years of life than you’d ever felt. “Mommy, can I come with you today?” she smiles at you brightly. “No, love, mommy has some, um... important grown up things to do today,” you hazard a glance at your husband, who smiles at you. It would almost have been convincing if you didn’t know him so well. “Besides,” you continue, “Daddy is taking you and Christine to the aquarium today.” That’s all it takes, your daughter perks up immediately, kisses your cheek, and runs back to her room. “Speaking of today, are you sure you want to do this alone?” James looks at you intensely, not bothering to hide his concern. “Temperance and I need you to watch the girls today, and... I need to do this on my own,” you say, placing your hand on your husband’s cheek. The phone interrupts your staring match. “Aubrey. Yeah, yeah... okay, I’ll have her at the courthouse in 15 minutes, and pick up Christine after.” James ends the call with a sigh, and then looks at you again. “That was Booth, you ready?” he asks. “Uh, yeah, I think so,” you bite your lip nervously, “Let’s get little one and get out of here.”

20 minutes later, and you’ve kissed your husband and daughter goodbye, and sent them on their way. Standing outside of the courthouse, your mind begins to wander. You’d witnessed dozens of hearings before, even a few in this very courthouse. But none like this, none so close to you personally. Caroline Julian snaps you out of your thoughts when she walks up. “Mrs. Aubrey, are you ready?” she asks. “Um, I believe so,” you say shakily, “can I see him?” “I’m afraid that will have to wait until after, cherie, he’s already inside.” Caroline ushers you inside, your heart rate quickening with every step. You say brief hellos to Hodgins, Angela, and Dr. Brennan, quickly assuring Temperance that the girls are safely with Aubrey and well taken care of. Everyone walks into the courtroom, but you hang back. Tears prickle your eyes, and you take a deep breath before steeling your nerves and walking in yourself. You find your seat without looking up from the floor. You take another deep breath, and allow yourself to look up. A sudden and nostalgic feeling takes over as your eyes meet Zack’s, just like they always had. You blink, and suddenly...

You’re 22, chasing Booth like a puppy dog, and practically skipping up the steps to the Jeffersonian’s forensic platform. “Sorry for the boring field trip while you’re still in training, Y/N, but the squints have some new evidence for the case I’m on,” Booth explains, swiping his card for entrance. “Don’t be sorry, this is awesome,” you’re smiling so hard you think your jaw might break. Though you’d never let on to Booth, you were mostly excited about getting to interact with Dr. Brennan’s adorably awkward assistant. As if on cue, Zack looks up and notices you. He smiles shyly in a way that makes you feel like you could do backflips...

You blink again, and here you are. Almost 10 years have passed, and you’re a wife, a mother, a different person, having to watch the first man you ever loved testify on his own behalf about a crime you had always known he couldn’t commit. You and Zack had been dating for 2 years, and had recently moved in together when everything had come to light. The explosion that sent Zack to th hospital had prompted Booth to give you a temporary leave of absence, so when he called you in a desperate tone, telling you to get down to the Jeffersonian, you were panicked. “Zack lied,” rings through your head, even all these years later. The events of the past decade of your life play in your head like a movie. You’d visited Zack every week, like clockwork, even years after the rest of your friends had moved on. That was until... until Sweets died. After everything you’d been through, losing someone you’d considered a little brother sent you into a dark place you thought you’d never escape from. Aubrey had been your rock. When you met him, your life fell into place. Before you knew it, you guys were married, and then your daughter was born. They were a glimmer of hope amidst the nightmare, but your heart would always partly remain with Zack.

Temperance puts her hand on your leg, bringing you back to reality. “Would the defense like to make a final statement?” the judge asks. “No,” Zack says, “I would prefer for the evidence to speak for itself.” You smile, almost against your will. Same old Zack. “Actually, I would like to say something,” Temperance says, looking at you for silent permission. You squeeze her hand as Caroline gives her permission as well. “Now, I typically speak on evidence, but today I would like to speak on Dr. Addy’s character,” tears prickle in your eyes as Brennan continues. “Working for me, Dr. Addy assisted in incarcerating over 50 murderers. Even while he was institutionalized, Zack attempted the impossible- to find a cure for Dr. Hodgins’ paralysis. Now it’s true, he made mistakes, but I still believe, in my heart, that the world would only benefit from his return to society. Thank you.” The tears were flowing freely now, and you thought they’d never stop as the judge addressed the room, stating that she would overturn Zack’s life sentence, and he would only need to finish the remaining 13 months in the mental institution. You release a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding, and give Zack a huge smile as he turned to look back at you and Brennan. You exchange goodbyes with Caroline, thanking her for, as Temperance put it, “doing enough to keep her job.” You know if it wasn’t for her, you may have never seen Zack again.

You walk out to the lobby to say goodbye to Temperance, and check a few texts from your husband, assuring you that he and the girls were having a great time. Your breathing quickens as Zack exits the courtroom, and starts walking toward you. You smile nervously, “Hey! Er, congratulations, um... I-” Zack cuts off your rambling with a quick embrace. “It is so, so good to see you, Y/N,” he says, holding your shoulders and looking in your eyes. The years had definitely changed him, as they had done to you as well, but his eyes were still exactly the same as you remembered. “Um, how long do you have before you have to go back?” you ask, though your subconscious berates you. “About an hour, I believe,” Zack looks at you quizzically. “Well, let me take you out to lunch, we can go to the diner like we used to?” The last part comes out as a question as your nerves get the better of you. “I would like that very much,” he smiles.

The two of you walk to the diner in silence, a few times you almost start to say something, but your mind is running wild with how you’ll explain this to Aubrey later. You guys decide to take a booth in the back, hoping it would give enough privacy for the conversation you were currently terrified to have. You thought of James, your daughter, your new life. A life you loved, but a life that had always seemed... lacking. There had been a Zack shaped hole in your heart for as long as you could remember, and now here he was in front of you, and you couldn’t think of a single thing to say. “Are you alright, Y/N?” Zack asks you. His face is filled with genuine concern. “I’m... yes, I’m okay,” you reply, “I’m just finding myself at a loss for words right now.” Zack smiles understandingly, and you can’t help but be amazed at his emotional depth. When the two of you were together, you had always seen Zack as compassionate and wonderful, but that part of him rested far under the surface compared to now. “It has been quite some time,” he nods. Your face reddens, suddenly mortified by how long it had actually been. “I am not angry with you, Y/N,” Zack says, “I do hope you realize that.” “But,” you start,”I’M angry with me, Zack.” “I do not know if I understand what you mean,” he replies. Your heart pounds as the floodgates in your brain finally open. “I never should have stopped seeing you,” you admit, “but after Sweets died, I just... I lost it.” “As did I,” Zack says solemnly, “Dr. Sweets was a very good man.” “One of the best,” you say, allowing a tear to slip down your cheek. Zack reaches up and brushes it away, and smiles at you. You smile back, caught in a moment that seems suspended outside of time, of reality. Zack lowers his hand and looks away. “I noticed your husband and daughter were not with you today,” he says, his voice sounding far away. “Oh, uh, you... know about them?” you ask awkwardly. “Not that I was trying to hide the from you or anything, I just...” Zack allows you to trail off, and smiles sadly. “Hodgins has attempted to keep me updated about everyone’s lives, when I asked him about you, he knew he couldn’t lie to me.” “I can’t lie to you either, I never could,” you tell him, “I suppose that’s why I just stayed away.” “As I said, it has been a very long time,” Zack repeats, “and I am happy that you are happy.” You wipe away another tear, and pull out your phone to show Zack a few pictures of your daughter. You know Zack has never exactly been fond of children, but his eyes light up as he talks about how much she looks like you. You put your phone away, and sit in silence for a moment. “Zack,” you start, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. “Yes, Y/N?” he asks. “I’m just, I’m so sorry,” you begin to cry again. “Sorry for what exactly?” he looks confused. “I’m just sorry,” you begin, “Sorry for not coming to see you, sorry for being so busy at work while we were together, maybe if I had been more attentive when you’d gotten back from Iraq, maybe things would have been different now.” Zack stares at you intensely. “Y/N,” he says, “I need you to know that none of this is your fault. Everything that happened with the Master, it would have happened regardless. You are not to blame, just as you are not to blame for your life moving forward.” You cry silently, your mind reeling from everything he’s saying, and everything you’re feeling. “Zack, I still love you,” you admit shakily. He puts his gloved hand over yours on the table. “But,” he says softly, nodding with understanding. “Yeah,” you whisper, “But.” Your phone lights up with a text from Caroline, letting you know that Zack needs to get back to the courthouse.

The walk back is anything but silent, the two of you laugh and tell stories about your lives from almost a decade ago. You smile at all the inside jokes he still remembers, the hole in your heart beginning to shrink. Too soon, Zack is escorted into a van heading for the institution. “I’ve waited all these years,” you think, “what’s 13 more months?”

You’re left standing outside the courthouse alone, waiting for a cab to take you back home. Back to Aubrey, back to your little girl. Back to your life.

I finally reached my 100 followers milestone!!! (101 by the time of this post) so I wanted to celebrate this achievement by sending all of you my thanks and sincere gratitude to each of those 100 followers. Thank you again, for finding something on here worthy enough of a click that follow button.

Shout Out To

abrokenremnant, ancientblxde, apernor, aviseagle, badassbarmaid, bittersurvivor, blitzrod, brokenxfragments, caltivatxr, catamatronic, cindersoflotric, clowniefish, cloudsmom, cumuliformation, devilreno, dubious-dango, edenslostfwallflower, fallen-seraphim, finalhxaven, flordorado, flower-girl-aerith, fullthrottled, goddessvowed, hatredheld, heavenlyfighter, hercbled, hextechenforcer, highwindrocket, hiraethyr, holywhitemateria, hyperionnheart, kayleeredfield, knights-of-reylo-reborn, lacunxa, letterflower, lifexbt, light-of-judgement, lovelessblade, loyalandroid, luccisimp, luminaryhub, mezzomorendo, mcurnful, mousxr, obscuratusdivina, oflockharted, onepartbrave, primalvessel, primasoloris, rcdwrxck, rezaclse, roleplay-abiogenesis2, runexknight, sanguinepeccatorum, sentineloftheunderworld, skyfallenxsoldier, sometimesrufus, spottedassassin, starcrossed, starcrowns, thegutterandthestars, thememcry, theshadowysuvivor10, triggerxhappy, tuestiheir, warofthebeasts, wrxckfear, zenos-zos-galvus

Special Mentions

@azure-steel​ - We have not plotted together on this blog beyond a silly cloudcest gag au (that I still wanna write one of these days :3) but we chat quite a bit on discord and I love listening to you talk about your muse, FFVII as a whole, drama, and the weird shit that goes on in your personal life (someone please write a soap opera about your life. I would binge-watch the hell out of it). I hope the FFVII London Orchestra actually performs in September when things finally calm down because I would totally be ok with meeting up at the venue.

@chaton-encore​ - Thank you for poking my in chat and sending me good vibes whenever I go mute. Sometimes it’s nice to know mutuals do think about you when you need to take short breaks and I really do appreciate it. Your muse was also a pleasant suprise because I didn’t have much of an opinion on Leslie until we started talking and I grew to appreciate him for his role in the story and character depth. I also love your other FFVII muses and how well you handle writing for so many characters. 

@dreamsofasoldier​ - I love your Zack. Your portrayal is spot on to the point it’s uncanny how loyal he is to canon. Our threads give me so many emotions because I’m never experienced Cloud getting so flustered over a romantic partner in the way he fawns over yours. Also, I see a lot of you in your muse. I’m not gonna lie, the first time we properly talked in chat I had to step away from my monitor because I was smiling too much, and the first word that came to my head was, “Puppy~”

@flamedance - Roche was not a character I thought would rank very high on my favourite characters but your writing makes me want to know more about him. You’ve added so many small details and headcanons for a character who disappeared from the game just as quickly as he made his entrance. I love how you match his energy in your writing and how he has this instant effect on Cloud that is so fun to write for. XD

@floralcetra​ - I can only apologize for my lack of writing these past couple of months because I really wanna get back to our thread. Cloud and Aerith having deep discussions about their future plans against Sephiroth, subtle hints to Aerith’s fate, and their growing relationship has been very fun to write. Cloud is very protective of Aerith but is still in the progressing of getting to know what makes her tick and it’s been a delight to see them play off each other.

@hiislegacy​ - Zuti! My bae! My enabler! My problematic twin! My friend who loves all the same weird kinks and fetishes as me. I am so glad I met you on this platform because our conversations get me through the day. Your ideas, ships, starters, replies, or just shoving saucy fanart my way always gets a smile out of me every time I see you in my notifications. We don’t have a lot of threads going on this blog but I still wanted to give you a shot out. I’m only sorry I can’t keep up with all of our threads. <3

@neko-mun-rp​ - (Tackle hugs you to the ground) Your Sephiroth has been a joy to write with. I love all of our aus and the different versions of Sephiroth you come up with for every single scenario. I love Naga Seph. I love Redeemed Seph. I love Chocobo Breeder Seph. I love all Sephs. So soft. So sweet. I hope to get back to writing replies soon because watching you reply to all my threads in a matter of minutes is the best feeling any writing partner could wish for.

@pacifistghost / @onewingedxngel​ - Firstly, I love all of your muses, both canon and ocs. It’s been so much fun getting to know each and everyone one of your characters and coming up with unique scenarios to plot out with them. Secondly, I would be honoured if you wanted to meet up at the FFVII London Orchestra venue when they stop moving the date back (crosses fingers for the new September date).

@pulchralilium - We haven’t been writing for very long but I’ve been enjoying our thread because you took a silly self-indulgent au and gave it depth. I honestly was not expecting that and I love you all the more for it. Aerith approaching Cloud to help with her confidence and Cloud being her reluctant dance teacher. I want to get back to writing soon because I wanna see him starting to warm up to Aerith and looking forward to her next appointment.

@somethingxgreater - Congratulations on being the first (and only) non-ffvii muse I have interacted with since I started this blog. Your writing is amazing and I'm touched by how often you send things into my ask box. Yuna is a sweetheart and Cloud certainly feels a connection with her that reminds him of home. Her soft demeanour but fierce optimism and acceptance of his sudden arrival has garnered his interest (and he would probably fight sin itself when he learns of her pre-determined fate).

@starlightbrawler - My Tifa! My waifu! I’ve been enjoying writing with your muse and exploring Tifa and Cloud’s relationship in-between the main plot of the game and drifting away from canon as their bond grows stronger. I’ve never felt Cloud get so overprotective of another muse, especially one who is more than capable of taking care of himself. But he just wants to keep her safe so badly and is ready to throw hands with every man who dares to approach her. He just loves her so much <3  

You can blame @aimeelouart for asking about my keeping track of how each relationship between AGSZC progresses for the fact this meta now exists. It was somewhat hastily written in the back of my maths textbook so please excuse the lack of polish and put it down to the fact I couldn’t take another 2 hours of algebra.

Fives Company, not a Crowd

Relationships with Love

(or how AGSZC functions in the JBSWM universe*)

Cloud

Love is something that is given without expectation of return. This is applicable both platonically and romantically, he's willing to put everything on the line for the people he loves but he doesn't really expect them to do the same for him. Some of that comes from the fallout from his and Tifa's trip up the mountains and the subsequent responsibility placed on him for that but other parts stem from wanting to feel included but not being able to put himself out there so it's a lot easier to  be prickly and pretend you don't care when in reality, I think Cloud loves incredibly deeply and it's why he's easily hurt by it no matter how strong a front he puts up. At eighteen, he's still trying to find a balance between keeping everyone at bay so he doesn't get hurt and letting himself figure things out and take those risks. There's a fun parallel to Sephiroth there in that neither cut themselves any slack for mistakes so it's hard to get out there when you might make one when making a mistake – especially in his first real adult relationship –  feels like the end of the world. His only really obvious love up till that point is his mother and I do think he misses her a lot, but is also deathly afraid of letting her down and that weighs on their relationship.

The rest under the cut!

Zack

Loves to love (and he loves to dance, kudos to anyone who got that reference). The walking embodiment of a carebear, loves quickly, easily and casually. The more affection and love you throw at him, you'll get it back tenfold. The trick with Zack is that he lives his life with his heart so open that he has a natural connection with most people but it does make it more difficult to spot the differences between puppy love and intense, romantic love. This is one of the reasons he and Gen clash so much, Gen is 10000% passion and intensity and Zack always seems casual even when he's not. Ultimately, Zack is only 20 and still has a lot of trouble balancing his life between love, friendship and work. Since he's a social creature by nature compared with Cloud's more introverted nature, he's pretty decent at reading people and what they're feeling and absolutely wants to listen to them and hear about what they're feeling instead of having to guess. Compared with any of the other four really, he grew up with a strong sense of his social community and it helped instil a lot of compassion and resilience in his ability to love.

Sephiroth

Big yikes on this front. A walking talking advertisement for dysfunctional attachment and it would not surprise me in the least if he has some kind of attachment disorder as a leftover from a childhood which has probably left it's fair share of emotional scars. If I consult my Master timeline (and my attempts to make sense of Gast's timeline since he appears to have left Shinra on a fact finding mission around the time Sephiroth was born and left again for real this time two years before Aerith was born taking Ifalna with him), his first experiences of emotional connection are Hojo (yikes), Gast (who must come back sporadically from his fact finding between 1979 and 1983 so even before he dies when Sephiroth is four it's probably difficult to pinpoint as a positive attachment), Ifalna (here is where I get a little creative with canon but I do quite like the idea that if she did end up at Shinra before Gast left that he would have wanted to be like LOOK AN ANCIENT BABY and have her be like um no no that is not but also he was probably a toddler at the time and has no real strong recollection of her) and then SOLDIER. We know he served with adult SOLDIERs so I really doubt he connected in any strong way with them having had an extremely sheltered upbringing and oh yeah HE'S TWELVE. Man this one needs splitting up because it's Sephiroth.

So Enter Gen & Angeal when he's around 13, maybe closer to 14. What we know from Zack!Cloud and see from some of Zack's memories in CC, Sephiroth is not cruel but he is a hell a taskmaster and I think there's two big reasons why I put his connection with Angeal first. One, Angeal is a hard worker, he tries to do as much as he can and get himself out there and Sephiroth can respect that.Genesis on the other hand is talented, which...means he actually has to work hard at the things that don't come naturally to him for the first time and since he had the hero worship thing going on and Sephiroth was not social, they did not get along easily until they had a better understanding of each other. This is the same understanding that Gen gradually loses through degradation in canon, whereas Angeal and Sephiroth remain close-ish. Two, Angeal doesn't take anything personally and remains at a respectful distance, even when trying to connect. Sephiroth for his part was perplexed by his continual attention and has no idea what to make of it. It's only when Angeal is still doing it a few months down the line, when Gen has calmed down a little from his perceived slight, that they're able to forge stronger connections and I think there's a tandem effect with those two where Angeal is emotionally open and unobtrusive and Gen is not about to talk about anything emotional but he's physically affectionate. Most importantly of all, they aren't afraid of him, even the parts that a lot of other SOLDIERs may find disturbing, Angeal wants to just check in on and Genesis is mostly thinking 'meh, I could do that'. So ultimately, what would end up being his relationship with love is largely impacted by people who keep him at a distance or leave for a long time and then it's like a bus, you wait for one friend and two come along at once.

So then we have his concept of love being defined largely by friendship because his concept of it is so heavily defined by two people who were friends with each other and him first. The potential problem being that his world gets very wrapped up in only two people and as such, he's obsessive and possessive of them because it's all he has. Then Zack comes along and he's hyper affectionate, social, loving basically in a way he hasn't really had thrown at him and he doesn't fully know what to do with. To a degree, Cloud is easier – he's independent, prickly and does not get on with people which for him is relatable. Zack comes in like nothing he's ever experienced and the way he loves is so different that it's left him trying to figure out how he feels about this new kind of love coming into his life.

Angeal

Hands down a nurturer. It's all about putting his time and energy and heart into a relationship and letting whatever kind of love blooms happen naturally. While I don't think he forms connections easily, he tries to keep himself open and supportive of people around him and that lends itself to connecting with people. I do think he had a strong, loving role model in his parents (well, mother and stepfather, fuck you Hollander) and he had good relationships with them so he has some model by which to judge what love looks like. I also think canonly this is the thing he never really gets over losing, his mother and his connection to his parents.

I think Genesis has always been his great love story. They were, when they were a couple, one that would tell the story of how they met bit by bit until Angeal let Genesis take over telling it because he knows Gen never ever stops talking. I think it's one of the reasons they work well together – Angeal has the calm, quiet and cosy sort of love compared with Genesis who is passion and intensity 24/7. They balance each other out because Angeal does also try to push at his partners to behave, he will be passive aggressive or take small measures to try and correct things (a good example in 7s9s is that he will lock the liquor up knowing Genesis can break it but it's the fact he at least tried to get him to behave that helps him sleep at night) but ultimately, he is more passive as a person. When it was just the trio, Sephiroth added to some of the calm from Angeal but also more than matches Gen for obsessiveness. As things progress, Zack's casual nature adds to the calm but his excitement adds to the intensity and Cloud's introversion adds to the quiet but he's also a mouthy little shit.

One of the major things Angeal brings to the table is that his default setting is to care, same as Zack and that everyone at this table needs taking care of in some way. Cloud is obvious, he's struggling the most but he also feels that way with Zack because he can't completely separate the mentor-ship role even he tries to respect Zack as a First Class in his own right, Sephiroth has so few connections that being able to read him and react in a way as needed is extremely valuable and Genesis is just extremely responsive to the first instance of a seemingly unconditional love in his life and even if he would hate to admit it, loves that Angeal tries to take care of him. I think he's happiest when he can express how he feels to each person in turn in their own language and watch them respond.

Genesis

I think with Genesis there's a very large difference between his relationship with love and his relationship with romance. Romance is easy, he can be lyrical and affectionate and flirtatious at the drop of a hat but the emotion behind it being love is tricky at best. For some reason, I've always viewed him as someone who was a very clingy kid, who wanted parental attention constantly, was constantly seeking reassurance and often didn't get it. We know that Gen at that point was confined to Banora so I do think his parents would leave a decent amount when he was young and it's one of the reasons he latches on so hard when he meets Angeal. Angeal is not only present all the time but wants his attention and doesn't seem to mind that he chatters on and on. It's probably something to do with the idea if he keeps talking, he'll stay longer or trying to just fill silence because I think quiet disturbs him on some level because he's actually terrified of loneliness.

As he's gotten older and he turned out to be good at a few things, he got some of the loving responses he'd wanted but I also think as much as this reinforced the idea love is earned and you have to pay for it, a part of him from Angeal, from seeing his parents relationship with him covetously, knows that love can be unconditional but fears it's not so for him and probably spent a great deal of their early romantic relationship waiting for Angeal to realise and leave.

It's why his relationship with Sephiroth when they make the decision to expand the relationship to include him is initially categorised as casual, he can walk away any time and so can they, it's super casual, okay? Except I don't really think it was, it was just an out and then with Zack, he has no out. Zack is happening and it's love or bust. There's no out and then Zack does not seem that into making an effort and he is Not Happy about that. If you then contrast that to Cloud, who is incredibly responsive to his attentions but without demanding it. There's a lot of control on his end when it comes to his relationship with Cloud so it felt a lot less high stakes. Then Hojo happened and all of that went out the window because it was obvious how deep in he was at that point, he was willing to try and comfort Zack and keep him out of trouble, he was willing to care for Cloud in a way that isn't totally to his nature (if Angeal is the gardener, he's a very finicky plant – needs much attention and the right amount of everything to grow properly and will pretend to be dying if you miss a day) and show concern where he would usually rather jump off the plate headfirst than show emotions that vulnerable.

*This is your standard disclaimer that this only applies to how I see them in this verse, it's not applicable elsewhere but I might use examples from elsewhere to back up the point.

FF7 Headcanon: Zack has ADHD

I know that this has been headcanoned before by people probably more articulate than I’m going to be, but I wanted to put this down both for my own purposes and also so I can link back to this later when I do up some other pieces.

It’s never stated that Zack has ADHD in canon, but he’s very coded towards it. The symptoms all tend to boil down to three categories (inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity) and it has three subtypes accordingly (predominantly inattentive, predominantly hyperactive, and a combination of the two). Zack falls squarely into the third category, having both inattention issues and hyperactivity/impulsivity.

With Zack, there is a constant refrain from Angeal - focus. He says it multiple times, in a tone that suggests he’s said it much more than we’ve heard. This addresses the “inattention” in that he’s easily distracted/forgetful and loses things. There’s a DMW flashback with Angeal that illustrates this perfectly (found here) where he has realized he’s forgotten his materia before a mission and is frantically looking for it, only to have Angeal point out that he’s forgotten his sword as well.

Literally the second thing you hear out of Angeal in the game is “get serious” which is immediately followed by “Zack, focus” - again, referencing difficulty staying focused on a task. Angeal proceeds to explain “there are no ShinRa troops on this train” before setting Zack off to fight what certainly appear to be ShinRa troops. It takes him a remarkably short amount of time to finish the task, and yet as soon as he’s on the phone with Angeal to receive his next set of instructions, he’s asking “why are we fighting ShinRa troops?” showing that he either has trouble listening, or remembering information - possibly both.

Kunsel later echoes this, saying that Zack has trouble remembering things, and this is such an issue for Angeal that it even earned a remark in a letter to his mother - “zero attention span, restless as a little puppy” which brings us to the second matter of hyperactivity.

Zack cannot stay still. While not necessarily what someone would immediately think of as “stimming” it’s obvious that Zack has to be in constant motion, most obviously referenced with his repeated habit of doing squats when he’s not immediately occupied. He’s very clearly high energy, always on the move. He also fits into the “impulsivity” in several ways.

He’s not particularly good at waiting, and is prone to fidgeting - both seen even as early as the Fort Tamblin mission, when he breaks cover to pace. He also is seen interrupting others speaking multiple times, something Angeal seems used to as he tends to leave pauses for him to jump in. Additionally, the entire existence of the DMW is in itself a good gauge of another symptom - not being able to regulate his emotions; Zack feels strongly, and acts impulsively on how he feels.

One example that stands out to me was how he automatically jumped to the assumption that Angeal had killed his own mother, despite Angeal never showing any inclination to, even going so far as to physically shake him and then punch him while shouting the accusations.

So the points continue to add up, the symptoms of ADHD (particularly in teenagers) matching Zack’s canon behavior enough to support the headcanon. I’d like to briefly address the fact that some people do like to try to write him off as either airheaded or unintelligent instead.

While it’s easy to brush off SOLDIER as just being brute force (especially after playing a game where you can get pretty far button mashing), the fact is that it takes skill to manage a sword, and there’s definitely a certain level of knowledge and comprehension required to successfully use materia. Not only that, but Zack has risen to Second Class and is up for promotion for First at the age of sixteen. Though we don’t have stated guidelines of how long it took him to get to that point, it’s still suggested by his eventually managing to go toe-to-toe with the big three that he’s a prodigy as well.

I would also like to propose the headcanon that it’s not always that Zack can’t focus at all - it’s that he hyperfocuses on too many things. An average human with ADHD can face overstimulation issues very quickly, due to difficulty or even inability to properly filter out unimportant things that they should be ignoring. Now add the results of SOLDIER enhancements, heightened senses, and it follows that at any one time, Zack might be thinking about physical sensation, his own racing thoughts, his trained environmental awareness, and the actual thing he’s supposed to be doing. That could overwhelm anyone, and yet he’s still largely successful.

I was talking with @vorpalgirl earlier, and she pointed out that by the nature of the disorder, many of the medications that are used are in fact actually stimulants. Given that mako enhancement stimulates the rest of the body, one can assume that the brain - also an organ itself - is likewise enhanced, which may help explain part of why he calms down some on reaching First Class and getting the next level.

Of course, none of this is ever explicitly stated, but I find it very interesting that several FF7 characters appear to be non-neurotypical and wanted to explore the very clear coding given that Zack has ADHD.