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#no i’m not gonna admit to wanting a drink. but im gonna have a meltdown over it and not tell u why
torotits · 3 months
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why is wanting something the single most mortifying ordeal ever
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captainillogical · 5 years
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Devil’s Ballroom Ch.4
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A year after the events from the earth’s final attack, Little Homeworld is finally complete, and there’s a new jazz bar where gems and humans mingle and drink. - As you’re typing back a reply, someone pulls the stool out next to you and takes a seat. You see a sliver of pink out of the corner of your eye as you try not to actually Look. Oh god. It’s her. God can’t help us now.
Spinel/Reader
collab with my lovely wife @firstofficertightpants
    The man turns to look at you. “The fuck? Why’re you in the men’s room?” He says, slurring his words a bit, and putting up a hand to brace his weight against the nearest wall. He fucking reeks of liquor that you can smell from here, and his hair is slightly disheveled.
“I’m not in the men's room. You're in the ladies' room," You say, boldly. You feel the alcohol you’ve consumed making its way to your head, and the words flow out of your mouth freely. "And if you don't mind, I'll be leaving." You move to step past him and towards the door. As soon as your fingertips brush the door handle though, a hand shoots out and grabs you by the wrist, stopping you. You freeze.
"You are such a rude bitch, you know that?" He says, pushing himself away from the wall and facing his body towards you. You try and pull your arm away from him, but his grip is tight. What the fuck? You're going to snap this bastard's neck.
"Let go of my arm." You say, livid. You can see his eyes boring into you. He looks down at your collarbone and breasts, his eyes moving all over any patch of bare skin you just happen to be showing tonight. You feel exposed in the worst way possible. Trying to move your arm out of his grip again, you feel his fingers tighten ever so slightly.
"Girls like you, you think you can just get whatever you want by dressing like that and going to a bar," He says, spitting a little and glaring at you. 
"I'm not TRYING to do anything, let my arm go you bastard-" you get cut off as he tugs you forward, he's now only inches from your face and the smell of musty cigarettes and shitty vodka hits your senses. It's utterly revolting, and you hold back gagging visibly. You hear noise coming from outside the bathroom.
"You are taking an awwwfully long time in there, Y/N.” You hear Spinel say from behind you as she’s opening the door. She audibly stops. “What the fuck is going on here?” 
    Before you can even attempt to comprehend what is going on, you hear an extremely loud THUD on the opposite side of the bathroom and you feel as though you are launched several feet forward. You feel yourself squished against something and open your eyes to see something shiny. Spinel is holding you against herself, a single arm wrapped around you. Her other arm is comically stretched out and her fist is huge, holding your harasser against the now damaged wall. 
"You think you can just waltz right into the ladies room? Here? In this bar? You're stupider than ya’ look." She says, and tightens her grip around you. Ohhh my god, you’re such a useless lesbian, because you can feel her breast pressed against your arm and you’re trying SO HARD to not have an internal meltdown right now. You steel your face and try your best to dull your heart beats, because they’re currently Very Loud. Fuck. You hear the man whimper. “I thought I told ya to Leave. My. Friend. Alone.” She enunciates each word clearly, and angrily.
“Look, I don’t want no trouble..” You can hear him say, barely.
“You don’t want ‘no’ trouble?” She says, openly mocking him. “Shoulda thought about that before you came in here!” You hear the door slam open again, and can make out two pairs of feet running in.
“Spinel! We heard a loud noise! You guys okay??” Bismuth rushes over to the two of you, looking very concerned. She notices you in Spinel’s arms, and then the man Spinel is currently holding against the wall. “What happened!?” Lapis is standing next to Bismuth with her hands on her hips, and she looks pissed about the wall damage. Oops.
“This guy here,” Spinel shakes him a bit, and some of the wall crumbles around him onto the floor. You are trying and failing at not looking at Spinel’s gem. It glimmers every time she moves, and it sits perfectly right in between-. You look away before anyone catches you. “Came into the ladies room to harass a girl alone. I stopped him.” 
“Y/N? You okay?” Bismuth asks.
“Yeah. Was just surprised.” You say, like you’re not a complete disaster. 
“I’m just glad no one got hurt.” Bismuth says, and starts walking over to the trapped man. She nods to Spinel, who then slowly lets the man drop into Bismuth’s hold. She lifts him up by his armpits.. kind of like a child. You hold back a laugh. Bismuth holds him out in front of her, and squints at him. “And you.. You sir, broke like, 4 house rules. I’m gonna have to make you leave.” She makes her way over to the door with the man in tow, flopping him over her shoulder. Lapis turns to glare at the wall (and all of its damage), and then at Spinel, and turns to leave.
"We'll talk about this later." Is all she says, as the door closes behind her. 
    It is now so quiet in here that you could hear a pin drop. Spinel is still holding you, and you can hear her breathing ever so softly. “U-um,” You attempt to find your voice.
“Oh! Whoops,” She quickly drops her arm from holding you, and visibly deflates a little in relief. “I was so caught up that I..” She trails off, and her gaze makes its way over to your face. Her pink irises find yours. “I’m just glad you’re actually okay.”
“Me too.” You say, rubbing the side of your arm absentmindedly, still feeling a bit warm where she was touching you. Spinel notices your arm movement.
“Did I hurt you just then? I’m so sorry, I-”
“No, I’m fine.” You cut her off. “Still trying to wrap my mind around all of that. It just happened all so quickly.” You lie. You’ve dealt with worse men, in worse situations. This wasn’t something you couldn’t have handled yourself, if it got to that. She just didn’t need to know that you were having an internal gay crisis over being manhandled by a pretty girl. Alien. Whatever. “And thank you. For saving me, I mean. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t come in, just then. Seriously, his breath smelled so bad.” You give her a warm, earnest smile. “I would have done that for anyone, and besides,” You watch her cheeks turn pink as she shrugs. “Someone else was trying to talk to me while you were gone, and I wasn’t really feeling it, and you were taking forever..” She crosses her arms over her chest, angling her face away from you. Is she trying to hide the fact that she’s blushing? Holy shit she’s so cute. You find yourself embarrassed to admit that you’re completely enthralled with this pink alien. In a bathroom.
    Story of your life really.
“So.. you came in here because you missed me?” You say, grinning, and wink at her.
“No! Not at all.” She denies a little too quickly. You suddenly want to make a hobby out of teasing her. “A-anyway, let’s just go back out if you’re finished in here?” You take a moment to look around at the bathroom. It’s destroyed. They will have to re-tile that entire wall.
“Yeah, I’m done here anyway.” You say as you move past Spinel towards the door. You grab the brass handle and pull open the door, holding it for Spinel to come out of the bathroom as well. 
    Outside, the entirety of the bar is still pretty lively. A few people have left as it’s nearing 11, but there’s a good 40-50 people still around. You see a rowdy group of young women laughing and swatting each other playfully while they watch a handsome blond man play a ballad. There’s quite a few spaces open up now at the counter. You don’t see Bismuth there, though. You look around and spot her at the entrance, talking to Lapis and the bouncer. Probably making sure that guy never comes in again, you think. You make your way back over to your previous spot, and Spinel follows you. Once the both of you sit down, you pull out your phone, and open up the right application.
“I hope your beer is still cold.” Spinel says to you as you swipe past a couple messages, getting to the bottom of the group chat.
“It better still be.” You take a swig, and make a face. It’s.. drinkable, you guess. “Also, it’s cider, not beer. I can’t for the life of me stand the taste of beer, it always tastes like shit. Don’t even get me started on IPAs.” You reply to your friends without reading half of the stupid shit they must’ve said while you weren’t paying them any attention.
    Y/N: I was attacked in the bathroom. Wild day, I know.
    Alex: it fucking serves him right to be honest
    Alex: lil bastard had it coming
    Alex: so now my brother cant look at sonic the same ever again
    Alex: w
    Alex: awrfawefaffasdfa
    Alex: WHAT
    Harper: What!? Are you okay????
    Alex: the fucking alien!!!!!!!! i knew it!!!!!
    Alex: she fucking attacked u in the bathroom when u were alone!!
    Alex: she saw her window of opportunity
    Alex: and POUNCED
    Alex: im sorry that ur dead now
    Y/N: I’m fine. The “alien” was actually the one that saved me.
    Y/N: And her name’s Spinel, you shitlord. Have some class.
    Alex: no
    Alex: and make me
    Harper: can’t tell him to have what he’ll never grasp. ;)
    Harper: i’m glad you’re okay though. <3
    Harper: what exactly happened?
    Alex: fuck you
    Harper: no thanks. i know im bi, but even i have standards.
    Y/N: There was this guy that harassed me over drinks earlier, right?
    Y/N: Spinel actually told him off after he wouldn’t leave me alone the first time.
    Y/N: And then, when I went to the bathroom, he came IN.
    Y/N: He literally fucking grabbed my arm ya’ll I was mad af. The audacity.
    Y/N: So then Spinel comes in and punches him against the wall??
    Y/N: Like she killed the wall. Guy was fine. They kicked him out.
    Alex: damn
    Harper: i’m glad she was there to save your ass since i couldn’t be.
    Harper: and what did we learn today Y/N???
    Harper: you go out with US and not ALONE.
    Y/N: Bitch you left me to be across the country for summer. I have new friends now.
    Alex: oh so im chopped liver now huh
    Alex: one sexy murderous alien saves u and now ur too good for us
    Alex: im telling ur fuckin dad
    Y/N: NO.
    Y/N: YOU WOULDN’T.
    Alex: tee hee
“I wouldn’t know. I’ve only ever had whisky.” She replies, taking a drink. You set your phone down for a second.
“I’d offer for you to try mine, but this isn’t in ideal shape.” She raises one of her eyebrows. “It’s a bit warm.” You look at the bottle with slight disdain. “And this isn’t even a great one, regardless. There’s a few better tasting, actually.. you should try those sometime.” “With you?” She says with a questioning look on her face.
“I, um.” You look at her. “I was going to give you a list of suggestions, but if you wanted to drink with me again, we could do that too.” You say as you wiggle your eyebrows at her. She flushes red immediately.
“I wasn’t trying to impose, I just thought-”
“I’m just teasing. But.. if you do want a friend to drink with, I’m all yours.” You say, leaning on your left hand that's on the counter. “It’s not like I’m busy aside from work, anyway.” She’s staring at you with an expression you’re unfamiliar with, which is either longing, or concern. 
“I might take you up on that offer. I don’t have any human friends aside from Steven, and he’s only half.”
“And upon your general pool of human specimens, I’m your best choice?” You say and laugh. She gives you an exhausted look, which makes you laugh even more. “You got a phone?” You ask her, and take another sip. She reaches behind herself and pulls her phone out of her back pocket. 
“Steven gave me his old one a few weeks ago, I just don’t use it much.” You nod and take the phone from her hand. She doesn’t notice that you make sure your hand touches hers on purpose. You tap her phone open, and go to her contacts. And maybe, just MAYBE, you add a heart next to your name cheekily when you add it to her contacts. You text yourself a quick :).
“I added myself to your contacts. You should text me sometime. I also have your number now, too.” You hand her phone back to her. You grab your phone off the counter and the words “her smexy alien” are displayed on the lockscreen. You swiftly turn the screen back off, and down the rest of your nasty ass drink. Fucking christ, why are your friends like this.
“Hey. Spinel.” You turn to the voice in front of you. It’s Lapis. Her full attention was on the gem next to you.
“Yes?” Spinel says. She also downs the rest of her drink.
“You gonna pay for that wall, or what?” Lapis asks, leaning on the counter. She seems tired.
“I did do the damage, so I will, but I seriously think you should try to make that guy pay for this.” Spinel sighs. Lapis considers her for a second.
“We’ll see.” She says, and shrugs. She looks at you. “You want another one of those?” “Yes please.” You say. This will be your last, you think. It’s late. She opens the bottle for you, and swaps it with the empty one in front of you. 
“Yes, I will also take another one.” Spinel says to Lapis.
“I wasn’t going to ask you,” Lapis replies, and Spinel gives her a comically grave expression. “But since you insist, I guess I just might.” She smiles a little. She grabs a new glass, sets it on the counter, and plunks an ice cube into it. Then she grabs a brown bottle behind her, and pours Spinel another drink. She winks at Spinel as she grabs for the used glass. She walks away to a further sink, and starts helping a couple of other patrons who look like they’re about to head out.
“Sometimes, I don’t get her, but for the most part I like her. We both have problems.” Spinel says while watching Lapis from across the bar. She takes a long drink. You think fuck it, and do the same. 
“She reminds me of my cat, if I’m going to be honest.” You say, “Kind of moody, but still wants you to know that it’s there, and it exists.” 
“What’s a cat?” Spinel asks innocently. Your jaw drops.
"You don’t know what a cat is!?” You say, almost offended. You unlock your phone and go to your gallery, searching for your cat pics. You find one of the more recent ones of Jellybean, enlarge it, and show it to the gem. “This is Jellybean. She’s fluffy, stupid, and almost set herself on fire last week, true story.” Spinel eyes your phone screen.
“Oh, those things! I’ve seen them a few times, but they never let me near them.” She says, maybe a bit mournfully. “They look soft.” 
“They are.” You grin. “I should let you meet her sometime. She loves people. She’ll drool on your shoes though, so be careful. She’s a total weirdo.” Spinel looks at you like she’d actually love that. You feel like maybe you underestimated how alcohol would hit you tonight, because you feel it coming to you very quickly.
“I’d love to meet her. I don’t get out much, honestly. I’m still trying to find a balance in my daily life. Steven’s worried that I’ll.. I don’t know.” She shrugs, swirling the drink in her glass. Bismuth walks over to the two of you, grabbing several used glasses on the way and dropping them into a nearby sink.
“Y/N, I’m sorry about what happened to you earlier. Stuff like that never really happens here.” She says to you while making herself busy wiping down the counter. “And Spinel, seriously. Thanks for stepping in.” Spinel gives a noncommittal grunt in reply.
“Bis, if I were even as half as beefy as you are, that wouldn’t have been a problem. I’d dare him, actually.” You say, and finish your drink. You regret it a little, but Papa didn’t raise no quitter and you’ll learn your life lessons eventually. In the meantime, you just feel pleasantly drunk.
“Aw, shucks, Y/N. You’re so kind.” She chuckles and flexes a little. “I have enough muscle for the both of us.” She wipes down Spinel’s side of the counter, and takes the cash handed to her by the couple next to the two of you as they get up to leave.
“Ughhhhh.” Spinel says, slouching on her stool. “I need to walk home soon.. ‘gotta long day tomorrow.”
“You live close?” You ask her.
“Kind of. It’s on the opposite side of little homeworld, and a nearly 30 minute walk.”
“Are you sure you’re sober enough to make it all the way home by yourself?” You grin, teasing her. “You’re not gonna get like, 10 minutes into the walk home and pass out in a bush somewhere?” “No, I’m fine. I should be good enough for the walk.” She says while giving you a half-baked glare, and attempts to get up from her stool, albeit very wobbly. She stumbles a bit.
“Well, I was going to head out soon too.” You say, nodding at Bismuth that you’re ready to pay your tab. She makes her way over to you once she hands back the couple’s change to them.
“You guys good?” She asks. You nod in response.
“Yeah, gonna call it a night though,” you grab your card out of your wallet, and feel a little generous. Maybe a bit ballsy, too. You hand it over to Bismuth, who takes it. “For both tabs, please.” Spinel looks absolutely admonished and is about to argue, so you cut her off. “It’s thanks for earlier. Don’t argue with me.” She shuts her mouth promptly, and Bismuth laughs.
“I like that you two get along well. Warms my heart.” She says, looking at the two of you while working the register. She hands you back your card and the receipt slip.
“Oh, shut up.” Spinel glares. Bismuth just laughs at her and walks away. You put your things back into your bag, and regard Spinel. “Well, I’m off. You should message me soon, and we could hang out.” You say, and turn to move when Spinel takes a single step forward, and slips onto the floor with a loud crash. You look at her, and cannot help laughing.
“OW.” She exasperatedly sighs. You lean down and give her your hand, which she stares at for a second longer than necessary, and then grabs to pull herself up with. 
“Drunker than you thought, huh.” You say, giving her a smug look. You’re drunk yourself, but at least you know what you’re all about.
“Maybe,” She says, dusting off her pants and straightening herself back out. “Maybe I shouldn’t have ordered that last drink.” You still feel ballsy, and maybe a little courageous when you have a particular thought that you verbalize before actually considering in your mind. “Wanna come home with me?” You blurt out. She stares at you blankly for a second, and then her entire face flushes. “Not like that,” You quickly backpedal. “My place is about 10 from here. You can crash on my couch? And meet my cat.”
“I’d love to meet your cat.” She’s smiling, and she looks eager. Or drunk.
“Alright, let’s go then.” You say before you can think any better of it. If your father or friends knew.. Oh my god, your father and friends CAN’T know. Your friends would laugh forever, and what would your dad think!? ‘Chill dad, it’s no biggie, just gonna show this ex-bloodthirsty gem our cat. except she’s cute and cool and nice now’ You give silent thanks to whatever gods are out there that your dad didn’t come home tonight.
    You both meander your way outside of the bar, where the air is still thick with heat and humidity. A slight breeze rolls by, but it isn’t enough to cool your skin where you have already started to feel yourself sweating. You like summer, but hate nights like this. You’re both walking side by side, passing by houses and businesses alike, when she stumbles on a sidewalk crack and nearly topples you over. You catch her by both arms to steady her, impressing even yourself.
“Thanks,” She says and pushes some of her fringe out of her eyes to look at you. “You know.. you’ve been really nice this entire night. Humans haven’t been particularly cruel to me, all things considered.. but I haven’t had this much fun in a long time.” You keep walking with her.
“Well, you didn’t murder me like my friends thought you would, so tonight’s not a total bust.” At that, she laughs very loudly and openly. It’s a nice sound.
    Maybe it’s the warm night, or the alcohol in the both of your systems, but the flush on her cheeks makes your heart feel as bright as the gem on her chest, sparkling in the streetlights.
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transssexualheart · 7 years
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Do all, entertain me so I don't have to do hw
ah man i was actually doing hw for once
1- my name?rain
2- do i have any nicknames?my mom calls me rainbow, my brother calls me ron, my friends don’t really call me by any nicknames anymore
3- zodiac sign?leo, borderline virgo 
4- video game i play to chill, not to win?animal crossing
5- book/series i reread?harry potter
6- aliens or ghosts?uhhhh ghosts
7- writer i trust enough to read anything they write?idk if there’s any
8- favorite radio station?i don’t listen to the radio much
9- favorite flavor of anything?watermelon or blue raspberry
10- the word i use all the time to describe something great?idk, i say hell yeah a lot
11- favorite song?robbers by the 1975 probably (im listening to it now lol)
12- the question you ask new friends to get to know them better?i usually ask what they’re doing when we text and they tell and through this over time you hear about their family and intrests
13- favorite word?either “soft” or “gentle”
14- last person who hurt me, did i forgive them?not sure, i think i was the last person to hurt me, and i don’t really forgive myself for anything
15- last song i listened to?robbers by the 1975
16- tv show i always recommend?rick and morty
17- pirates or ninjas?see on one hand i have gay pirates and on the other i have nsp so idk
18- movie i watch when i’m feeling down?probably some pokemon movie lmao
19- song that i always start my shuffle with/wake up song/always on loop song?my alarm is nine in the afternoon by p!atd, i usually shuffle the fiddler on the roof soundtrack starting with the wedding dance song or now i have everything, on loop i usually have do i wanna know by arctic monkeys or sarah smiles by p!atd
20- favorite video games?any pokemon game
21- what am i most afraid of?the people i love secretly hating me or abandoning me or dying
22- a good quality of mine?uhhhhh,,, i guess um. my hair is dark? so it makes it easier to see facial hair and shit on me which is helpful for my trans ass
23- a bad quality of mine?i can’t shut up about anything i’m interested in bc i obsess myself with things that make me happy and always want to talk about them because they’re the the things that keep me alive but it gets annoying and i get a lot of “would you shut up about this subject”
24- cats or dogs?how could i CHOOSE
25- actor/actress you trust enough to watch whatever they’re in?i don’t pay a lot of attention to the actors for ppl in movies, i think the only actor i was willing to go see whatever they were in was u lmao
26- favorite season?spring/autumn
27- am i in a relationship?no
28- something i miss?the way things used to be sometimes
29- my best friend? i’ve considered u my best friend for a long time, if i didn’t delete messages u could probably find me talking to newer ppl (mainly chloe, who was that girl i asked out and rejected me) being like “yeah so she’s my best friend and she’s great”
30- eye color?brown
31- hair color?dark brown
32- someone i love?diakjgbjfgvldgjh
33- someone i trust?i trust u and zee the most
34- someone i always think about?Get Out Of This Home
35- am i excited about anything?dying
36- my current obsession?playing amazing grace on the piano
37- favorite tv shows as a child?i loved sesame street
38- do i have someone of the opposite sex i can tell everything to?not really
39- am i superstitious?idk
40- what do i think about most?what the fuck do you think 
41- do i have any strange phobias?i don’t think so
42- do i prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?not sure
43- favorite hobbies?drawing, writing, playing piano
44- last book i read?the great american whatever, great book btw, read it if ur looking for more gay books. warning though for death (that’s not really a spoiler i promise)
45- last film i watched?blue is the warmest color, didn’t finish it tho
46- do i play any instruments?piano
47- favorite animals?cats and dogs
48- top 5 blogs on tumblr that i follow?@ dreamts@ maroonracoon@ hugables@ roswater@ fauning
49- superpower i wish i could have?to pause time
50- how do i destress?what
51- do i like confrontation?no
52- when do i feel most at peace?when i sleep
53- what makes me smile?hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
54- do i sleep with the lights on or off?off
55- play any sports?no
56- what is my song of the week?idk the week just started my guy
57- favorite drink?grape juice
58- when did i last send a handwritten letter to somebody?idk
59- afraid of heights?not really
60- pet peeve?when u tell someone to stop fuckin touching u and they keep doing it immediately after
61- what was the last concert i went to see?the 1975!! just last night
62- am i vegetarian/vegan/pescatarian?no 
63- what occupation did i want to do when i was younger?i really wanted to be a singer
64- have i ever had a friend turn into an enemy?i’ve had fights with friends but we either made up or stopped being friends but aren’t enemies
65- what fictional universe would i like to be a part of?idk
66- something i worry about?friends when they’re sad, i know some of them probably won’t but i still worry about them hurting themselves
67- scared of the dark?yeah
68- who are my best friends?you, zee, shannon, spencer, i could go on but there’s a lot
69- what do i admire most about others?musical abilities, especially with singing
70- can i sing?idk, logically i have no reason to think that i can’t because literally everyone that’s ever heard me sing says it’s not bad or that i have a nice voice but i’m still unconvinced
71- something i wish i could do?sing in front of people without having an anxiety attack, speaking of singing
72- if i won the lottery, what would i do?buy myself and my friends a ton of shit probably
73- have i ever skipped school?i’ve faked being sick to get out of school
74- favorite place on the planet?idk man i haven’t been many places
75- where do i want to live?kinda wanna live in nyc
76- do i have any pets?cat named danny, two fish one named goldy and the other shaneeta dee
77- what is my current desktop picture?an nsp concert but i’ve been meaning to change it for a while now
78- early bird or night owl?night owl
79- sunsets or sunrise?sunsets
80- can i drive?no
81- story behind my last kiss?it was so long ago man i can’t really remember
82- earphones or headphones?earphones
83- have i ever had braces?no
84- story behind one of my scars?idk if i have any but i have a scab that i picked at until it bled in piano class because i was Not Ok and many times after for the same reason and that’s probably gonna scar now
85- favorite genre of music?idk
86- who is my hero?idk
87- favorite comic book characters?i don’t really read comic books much
88- what makes me really angry?when people hurt my friends 
89- kindle or real book?real book
90- favorite sporty activity?idk man
91- what is the one thing that isn’t tight in schools that should be???????
92- what was my favorite subject at school?idk man i guess art is ok but i’m not the biggest fan of my teacher
93- siblings?two, one brother and a sister
94- what was the last thing i bought?probably food
95- how tall am i?i think 5′5
96- can i cook?i can make grilled cheese and also pancakes
97- can i bake?if u give me a recipe then probably
98- 3 things i love?my friendspianosleeping
99- 3 things i hate?donald trumpdepressionanxiety
100- do i have more girl friends or boy friends?idk a lot of my friends are non binary or i don’t know their gender
101- who do i get on with better, girls or boys?im tempted to say girls but that’s just bc i have a preference for girls romantically in reality it doesn’t really matter as long as u aren’t a dick
102- where was i born?albany
103- sexual orientation?pan, probably somewhere on the ace spectrum bc sexual attraction is so so rare for me so if i think ur hot u better believe u are
104- where do i currently live?new york
105- last person i texted?you
106- last time i cried?not sure, i think last week when i had that big meltdown that y’all saw where @ hero-art was sending me asks through it
107- guilty pleasure?hhgghg,,hggg, watching vids of u singing
108- favorite youtuber?probably still the game grumps
109- a photo of myselfdamn bitch just search the tag # rain shows you his face
110- do i like selfies?i take a lot, usually just because my makeup looks cool that day, but they’re mostly shit
111- favorite game app?i don’t play game apps
112- my relationship with my parents?:/
113- favorite accents?idk man
114- a place i have not been but would like to visit?metropolitan museum of art
115- favorite number?five
116- can i juggle?no
117- am i religious?no
118- do i like space?it’s cool
119- do i like the deep ocean?it’s pretty
120- am i much of a daredevil?lol no
121- am i allergic to anything?i think grass
122- can i curl my tongue?yeah
123- can i wiggle my ears?no
124- do i like clowns?don’t really have an opinion on them
125- the beatles or elvis?i don’t listen to either of them
126- my current project?my dumbass lab writeup
127- am i a bad loser?i don’t think so
128- do i admit when i’m wrong?yes
129- forest or beach?beach
130- favorite piece of advice?“love everyone, forgive everyone, especially yourself.”
131- am i a good liar?i think so
132- hogwarts house/divergent faction/hunger games district?i’m a gryffindor and i didn’t read divergent or the hunger games
133- do i talk to myself?all the time
134- am i very social?no
135- do i like gossip?maybe? idk as long as no one is hurt
136- do i keep a journal/diary?i guess my writing blog is kind of an over exaggerated diary
137- have i ever hopelessly failed a test?i got a zero on a quiz once if that counts
138- do i believe in second chances?depends
139- if i found a wallet full of cash on the ground, what would i  do?get my mom to turn it in to ppl who know what to do with it
140- do i believe people are capable of change?yeah i suppose, but depends
141- have i ever been underweight?no
142- am i ticklish?very
143- have i ever been in a submarine?no
144- have i ever been on a plane?when i was seven
145- in a film about my life, who would i cast as myself, friends, and family?ah man idk i don’t have an extensive knowledge of actors
146- have i ever been overweight?no
147- do i have any piercings?one in each ear
148- what fictional character do i wish was real?idk
149- do i have any tattoos?two, one on my ankle and another on my ass
150- what is the best decision i have made in my life so far?to realize that i fucked up and to apologize
151- do i believe in karma?i guess
152- do i wear glasses or contacts?i need glasses but don’t wear them much
153- what was my first car?none
154- do i want children?depends on who i’d have them with
155- who is the most intelligent person i know?idk man it’s kinda subjective isn’t it?
156- my most embarrassing moment?my whole entire life
157- what makes me nostalgic?old songs
158- have i ever pulled an all nighter?oh yeah
159- which do i value most in others, brains or beauty?brains
160- what color dominates my wardrobe?idk actually
161- have i ever had a paranormal experience?not really
162- what do i hate most about myself?i’m stupid, i hurt and bother others way too much 
163- what do i love most about myself?ok i’m honestly not being a self loathing dick on purpose here i genuinely can’t think of something i love about myself
164- do i like adventure?yeah
165- do i believe in fate? maybe
166- favorite animal?question already asked bro
167- have i ever been on radio?no
168- have i ever been on tv?no, but yesterday i got asked to be (i declined because of anxiety)
169- how old am i?fourteen
170- one of my favorite quotes?“and you know that it’s not good, that there is no good, that nothing good can ever come out of it. but you do it anyway. and then... well. and then you burn.”
171- do i hold grudges?depends
172- do i trust easily?i don’t think so
173- have i learnt from my mistakes?yeah
174- best gift i’ve ever received?well my computer was p good though i payed for part of it
175- do i dream?yeah
176- have i ever had a night terror?yeah
177- do i remember my dreams, and what is the one that comes to mind?i do, and i just remembered the dream i had where there was this weird ass magical storm by my school that happened once thousands of years before on the same day and ppl thought it was a myth but it wasn’t, it was controlled by some ghost of a little girl and it lasted for weeks and eventually within our small shelter by the school people just died arbitrarily and some died from the storm who went out to try and get food and some starved, and soon all that was left was me and three others and it was horrible because every time we closed our eyes we were afraid we were going to open them and someone would be dead
178- an experience that has made me stronger?idk. probably my dad dying?
179- if i were immortal what would i do?try and undo that immortality or send myself into a coma forever because god i already want to die having to live forever would be the biggest curse ever
180- do i like shopping?sure
181- if i could get away with a crime, what would i do?idk man i don’t think about a life of crime much
182- what does family mean to me?people who care about me and love me and that i care about and love back
183- what is my spirit animal?im p sure that as a white person i’m not supposed to have one
184- how do i want to be remembered?for kindness
185- if i could master one skill, what would i choose?being better at piano
186- what is my greatest failure?everything
187- what is my greatest achievement?don’t know, i’m not proud of many things that i do
188- love or money?love
189- love or career?love
190- if i could time travel, where and when would i want to go?nowhere, i don’t want to spoil the future for myself and i don’t want to fuck with the past
191- what makes me the happiest?FUCK off
192- what is “home” to me?being with someone i love
193- what motivates me?i don’t know. not much anymore
194- if i could choose my last words, what would they be?idk, it depends on who i’d say them to
195- would i ever want to encounter aliens?if they’re nice then yes
196- a movie that scared me as a child?coraline
197- something i hated as a child that i like now?idk
198- zombies or vampires?vampires bc baz
199- live in the city or the suburbs?city
200- dragons or wizards?wizards
201- a nightmare that stayed with me?so this is from when i was little, my dad was driving my brother and i to the park and i was in the backseat bc i was tiny. so i said something to him and got no reply, i looked over and he wasn’t in the front seat, he was gone and nobody was driving. i look out the front and we’re headed for a part where we were meant to turn and there’s a giant steep hill and the car just keeps going forwards. it drives up the hill then flips over and crashes and rolls back down the hill and then i woke up
202- how do i define love?oh gosh. it’s in trusting other people to tell everything, even if they don’t “get” you, even if they won’t understand what you mean or how you feel because you trust them. it’s in the way you feel accepted around them. and all the inside jokes and knowing glances and doing everything you can to help when they’re down and feeling at home around them.
203- do i judge a book by it’s cover?a little
204- have i ever had my heart broken?yeah
205- do i like my handwriting?not really
206- sweet or savory?sweet
207- worst job i’ve had?never had a job
208- do i collect anything?ramune bottles and pokemon cards 
209- item of clothing or jewelry you’ll never see me without?don’t think there is one
210- what is on my bucket list?kiss a girl
211- how do i handle anger?vent to a friend
212- was i named after anyone?not with my first name, but my mom gave me my middle name after her friend from college
213- do i use sarcasm a lot?no.............of course not
214- what tv character am i most like?not sure
215- what is the weirdest talent i have?talent. What Is That
216- favorite fictional character?how could i choose one
thanks for asking  
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