#nigh* not neigh 💀 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

saviourkingslut · 2 years

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something very rotten abt how a friend can become a chore and an obligation who you extend care for and go through the motions of friendship for bc of what they used to mean to you through no fault of their own. and they still feel very warmly for you but unbeknownst to them you can't return the feeling anymore. truly one of the worst things in life

#hashtag personal i guess #had a friend stay over for a few nights bc they needed to go to a multiple day thing in the area #and i have never felt less enthusiastic abt having someone over. i did the bare minimum of being a host #was gone almost the entire few days bc of work and other obligations and i was glad for it #bc every minute being home was grating.#every minute is listening to trauma or doubts or worries and giving pep talks and inspirational speeches #and generally being annoyed abt their conduct and view on life. which is unfair #bc i know they have so many difficulties w/ their mental health #but it's been neigh on three years of me and my internet friend being this other friend's primary line of support #it's exhausting. and my friend is so kind and she gives to people arounf them so much.#but every conversation for three years has mostly been abt. their issues. and i feel more like a parent than a peer at this point #> having to give life advice and talk them out of irrational thoughts and fears and trying to inspire self confidence and help with anxiety #it's not sustainable. for me or my other friend who's part of the support system. but what can you do #i should feel guilty but at this point im just. so done with it i only rarely feel it anymore #nigh* not neigh 💀#curry rambles

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