#neufchatel (oc)
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cheese lich pre-lichdom .....
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cheesed to meet you.......
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anyways I feel like I should come up with like, a backstory for neufchatel besides “became a lich to make more cheese” but also “became a lich to make more cheese” is hilarious and needs no elaboration
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If I was good at modding/3d modelling, I’d make Barrowost Crypt in Skyrim. fuck yeah cheese lich
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when you search “neufchatel” or “neufchatel (oc)” on my blog there’s nothing in the results, but if you go to /tagged/neufchatel (oc) there is. this is because tumblr is trying to fucking silence my cheese lich /j
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The Legend of Barrowost Crypt
Deep within the Druadach Mountains and guarded by an ancient, sprawling crypt, there is a secluded farming village by the name of Strath. It’s said that those who settled in this village had come from many places; they were children of the Reach, Atmora, Bangkorai and even the ill-fated Orsinium. It mattered little, as all were united as the loving parents of Strath.
The village itself is composed of humble stone cottages and woven pens of juniper, where animals are kept for most of the temperate seasons. The most common livestock are cows, chickens and goats, which are often guarded by stout, thick-furred hounds. However, there is special cultural importance placed upon the cows and goats. From their udders comes Strath’s sole export, and reason for her great renown: cheese.
The story goes that generations ago, Strath was hit by a particularly wet winter that stretched long into spring. Because of the floods, many crops had been ruined, and those who had survived were of poor condition. When it came to harvest season, it was dreadfully apparent that there wouldn’t be enough to sustain the village. Obtaining aid would be a long and fruitless endeavor, for she held no favor amidst the kings of Skyrim nor of High Rock.
And so, a great famine was upon her.
Amidst the desperation and despair, there was Kurog gro-Strath. Though merely a boy, he was strong and smart and most importantly very, very hungry. One morning, as he and his dog, Snapping-Jaws (who had grown very much tired of being hungry, as well) tended to the calves, he caught sight of the distant crypt. He knew in better times, mother had journeyed up to leave offerings of milk, dried fruit and grain.
“It’s a matter of honor, tradition and respect, my love. The crypt and her denizens, whoever or whatever they might be, have protected us for generations. It’s only fair to repay them.” she said as she packed her baskets. “This is the way of Strath.”
Hunger pains seized Kurog and pulled him from his thoughts; he began to devise a plan. Snapping-Jaws followed him eagerly as he took his father’s sword from its rack. Before setting off, he and the hound split a piece of dried meat he’d been saving, in the event that he could bear the hunger no longer. If all went well, he wouldn’t need it, anyway.
The journey was long and arduous but as the sun began to set, he finally came to the great, arched entrance of the crypt. To his disappointment, the chest of offerings was empty- he would have to journey inside.
Snapping-Jaws whimpered in apprehension as the boy opened the heavy doors, but followed faithfully with his head bowed and tail low. Within the silent crypt was a small stone room, hung with aged tapestries and cracked, empty urns. He continued down the staircase on the opposite side of the room, cautiously. What he saw, almost caused him to cry out in astonishment-
Across the cavern, there were wheels upon wheels of cheese on shelves, and of every imaginable sort. Kurog quickly scanned the area for danger, then snatched up the closest wheel, which appeared to be a sort of Eider. As soon as he did, a clunk echoed across the space and Snapping-Jaws, who had been sniffing at the cheeses, began to growl.
“Who goes there?” a hoarse voice boomed.
From a platform on the far side of the cavern appeared a tall, thin figure shrouded in dark cloth.
Kurog froze, then stammered with all the courage he could muster, “I am Kurog of Strath, and I wish to feed my people. Who… Who are you?”
“My name is Neufchatel and I am the eternal lord of this crypt…” She seemed almost amused by his ignorance. “You say famine has descended on your people?”
He nodded, eyes wide.
“Then tonight, they will be fed.” Neufchatel seemed to float down the steps with supernatural grace.
With a snap of her bony fingers, a herd of spectral cattle emerged from the darkness, each holding silvery bags across their backs.
That night, Kurog, Snapping-Jaws and Neufchatel delivered food amidst the hungry townsfolk, and true to the lich’s word, each and every man, woman and child was sated.
Though ages have come and gone since this miraculous night and the people of Strath have long since recovered from the famine, they continue to work under the tutelage of the mysterious Neufchatel as farmers and cheesemongers.
She is the warden of Strath, and the mother of Barrowost Crypt.
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Markarth Guard: Be wary of Barrowost Crypt, to the northwest. They say Neufchatel doesn't take kindly to unwanted guests.
[Map marker added]
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ANYWAY
I think it'd be really funny if in Barrowost Crypt, you're left alone until the MOMENT you steal a cheese (and it is marked as stealing) at which point Neufchatel and her herd of spectral cows chase you around the crypt like scooby doo
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