genuinely the metaphor of the koi pond is so perfect for describing the dynamic between natsume and tanuma…. tanuma, who can only see the shadows of the fish on his ceiling, and natsume, who can see the pond clearly. tanuma, who will only know of the fish’s colours when natsume finally gets to tell him, who will only tell tanuma if he asks. and tanuma, whose exposure to youkai is essentially limited to how much natsume tells him, and how much he dares to ask. it perfectly represents this push-pull of their dynamic in which they’re both trying to be open with each other but they’re struggling to do so. natsume will always be so deeply involved with youkai, and tanuma will have to learn to be content with hearing recollections, because he fundamentally cannot be involved any further. he’ll never get to see the fish in the pond he so dearly loves, but he will be told what colour they are, and it will have to be enough.