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bigskydreaming · 4 years

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Like, the thing you guys gotta understand is my loud opinions are far more defense mechanism than they are “I think I am right and nobody else is ever and people should listen to me only.”

Nah. They’re literally just me being as loud and as visible with the stuff that matters the most to me as is possible....because that actually minimizes the flack I catch for y’know...stuff I’m truly passionate about believing.

For example, my online behavior and tendencies in fandom on tumblr specifically....were largely shaped by my experiences in Teen Wolf fandom. Where I started out being as civil as possible wherever possible, and gradually got louder and angrier over time because THAT DIDN’T MATTER. Its why tone policing is bullshit, through and through. Because the real issue was never HOW I was saying what I was saying, it was what I was saying at all.

See, I flat out don’t like the fandom fave Stiles, as he’s portrayed on the show, and never did. Not from day one. He bothered the fuck out of me from the pilot. And this is a very controversial opinion in TW fandom, and was far more so back when I was first becoming ‘known’ in fandom, whatever the fuck that means or is even worth (seriously, its not worth a lot. You guys, stop putting so much weight in the visibility of more ‘well known’ bloggers....that doesn’t directly translate into the influence you think it does, especially when those bloggers are still holding what the majority of a fandom deems ‘unpopular’ opinions).

But back in my early TW days, I wasn’t really ‘known’ at all, for my blog and my opinions on the show. I was better known for my fics, which at the beginning, I was writing and updating fairly quickly. I’ve published somewhere just shy of 100,000 words of TW fanfic....and the vast majority of that was all written in just the first year or two in fandom.

And the thing is, for people who just found me on Ao3 and not on my blog originally....they weren’t as immediately aware of my bias against Stiles. Because I hate bashing ANY characters in fic. Even ones I don’t like, because the point of fanfic for me, is to FIX my personal issues with the source material, improve on the things *I* especially dislike....so even though I dislike Stiles on the show, in my better known TW fics, he was still present, and I was still trying to be as true to his core characterization as possible, WHILE addressing what I considered his core problem areas.

The kicker being.....a LOT of Stiles-fans LIKED my fanfic depiction of Stiles. A lot of S/terek fans included. You look at my TW fics like Where Wild Things Are or Lightning Crashes in particular....you’re gonna find a LOT of comments from self-proclaimed S/terek fans and Stiles stans....and those are just the ones I didn’t delete when I was forced to aggressively moderate my comments when a lot of those same commenters got loud and angry at me.

Which they did see....once they started connecting my Ao3 account to my blog, and my opinions on the show in general, which were starting to be more widespread in fandom due to some better known mutuals. I mean, its not like it was a big secret. My Ao3 pen name for my Teen Wolf fic is bigskydreamin’. It....wasn’t really anything I felt I needed to clarify, lmao.

But once people realized that the very same writer they liked for his take on Stiles very vocally disliked the show’s Stiles because of behaviors and scenes that I quote unquote deemed abusive (which I do, and stand by to this day).....they went fucking APESHIT on me. Like.....I can not even TELL you the extent of the nasty comments, anons, emails and reviews I got from some of the very same people who previously were glowing in their praise of my fics, especially the Stiles scenes.

All because I didn’t like the show’s depiction of certain behaviors and toxic dynamics, and set out to improve these things in my fic while being true to the characterizations....and which they had LIKED....until they realized my take didn’t come from a place of “oh I think Stiles is just the best.”

And then the fateful day came when one of them flat out asked me why I didn’t ship S/terek and if I would ever write S/terek....

And I had the balls to answer honestly. LOL. I wasn’t even insulting or offensive...just blunt. I told the person that I have serious issues with S/terek because of the power dynamics and the way they’re romanticized within fandom and most fics rather than called out and addressed, and I said I would never have any interest in tackling these topics myself in any kind of S/terek fic because my own past with abuse makes the ship just inherently unappealing to me because of how I perceive it, and I feel zero desire to ‘fix’ a thing I wouldn’t want on any level to begin with.

And they went and told all their friends and lol, RIP the rest of my TW years - and this was probably back in like, Year Two of my time in TW fandom. For a more accurate estimate, look for when I lost the will to update my big fics, because like. What was the point? Any positive reaction I got from updates at the time was just drowned out by the hate I got for adding to a story many of them were still reading, judging by the way my hit counts were still pretty steady with what they’d been with previous updates.....but that at the same time, they were heaping all kinds of shit on me for just....having opinions they didn’t like at the same time as I wrote stuff they still DID like.

The juxtaposition of those two things....lol. Man. Its a trip, I’ll tell you that.

And to be honest, the same thing has been happening ever since I started being more involved in Batfandom. You guys know how I reblog a lot of my own posts? That’s not something I used to do like, ever in TW fandom...because all the content I was making then was fresh. But I’ve always been a fan of Dick Grayson even while I was knee deep in TW fandom, so my longtime followers can tell you....I’ve been making these posts about him all along. A lot of my more popular Dick Grayson posts were written years ago, before I started getting active in this fandom....which only really happened over last summer.

And the difference in TONE in a lot of my posts, is a lot of the ‘tamer’ posts.....which express the exact same viewpoints I have as in my more heated posts.....is because my ‘tamer’ posts were written as one-offs that I just wrote in passing while in a fandom that generally didn’t have any interest in my Batfamily musings....which did not at all stop me from still making those posts from time to time....because I don’t post ANYTHING for the sake of getting notes. Its literally just shit that’s on my mind, that I want to put out there for people to do whatever the hell they feel like doing with them.

And so most of the posts I reblog, that seem more ‘mild’....its because I wrote them years ago, they got like maybe ten notes at the time, lol, and I’m reblogging them now because I have more of a platform and think they’d still be of interest to fans of that content specifically....but the stark tone difference is because when I wrote THOSE....nobody was jumping on my back the second I hit post to tell me how obviously wrong and stupid I was for not getting this or that or that and having this opinion on this character or just “caring too much about fictional characters.”

Like, you get what you give, people. You throw shit at me, eventually, I’m gonna start throwing shit back, and no, you don’t get to be pissed about that when all the evidence is there that I’m MORE than capable AND willing to have a good time just by myself....and more than happy to have people join in....as long as nobody’s being a douchebag. But if you get your douchebaggery on and start making my life hell....I’m gonna start raising my voice, because that shit fucking sucks.

The sheer vitriol I got for simply stating that I have no interest in writing a S/terek dynamic I see as inherently toxic due to the inherent power imbalances, BECAUSE of my own history as an abuse and rape survivor, which I was frank about.....it blows my mind. People are literally OFFENDED that in response to questions THEY asked me, I said....I do not like this thing, because of how it affects my feelings about my own trauma.

Like, for years I have gotten monthly hatemail in my asks for spreading toxicity and hate through the TW fandom and ‘hurting real abuse/rape survivors by misleading people and calling S/terek pedophilic and misusing terms like that’....

And the utterly hilarious thing (in that not at all sort of way), is I have never ONCE called S/terek pedophilic, or anyone who ships it a pedophile. Never. Once!

You know why? Its not even because of my own personal view on whether or not that’s an accurate label for that ship....its because IT WASN’T EVEN RELEVANT TO THE SPECIFIC CRITICISMS I’VE ALWAYS FOCUSED ON MAKING.

Like, I literally never even got AROUND to expressing whether or not I thought that was a label that applies to that ship, because I’ve always had plenty of thoughts just purely on the specific power imbalances as I break them down in my view of that pairing....REGARDLESS of what you label those power imbalances. I don’t fucking CARE about the terminology. My concern has never once been what the fuck you call it, so I never made it ABOUT what anyone calls it, and purely focused on why I think it isn’t healthy just in specific terms.....and yes, pulled from my own personal experience and knowledge of abuse to back up why I feel that way, and to clarify why I feel so strongly about it.

But does any of this matter? Nope. Because all people cared about when directing hate my way for my oh so controversial opinions was not what was accurate to my views, but what was effective in discrediting them.

And the same shit is already happening in Batfandom, and its obnoxious, and tired, and yeah, its why I’m already kinda coming out of the gate hot and heavy, because within like....less than two months of me starting to post more regularly about Batfam specific content and getting some followers who have large fandom presences and boosted my posts to a pretty broad fandom circulation....

Its like, welcome to TW fandom, rinse and repeat.

Hardly any of the actual flack I’ve gotten in this fandom so far has anything whatsoever to do with my opinions on the Batfam....its almost all about the fact that I don’t like noncon/pedophilia/incest fics and am critical of the permissive attitude fandom spaces have cultivated around this stuff. And of the fact that I think the culture of false positivity fandom spaces try to enforce at the expense of marginalized fans who try to speak up about their experiences with racism and other forms of oppression and bigotry online, like, is similarly bullshit. Like, the thing people don’t like me for most of all, is that I’m LOUD and OPINIONATED about saying that these things specifically, fucking suck, and here are my own personal experiences that make me feel that way.

And notice the lack of actual argument with my actual posts. Notice how its all about ME....my volume....my ‘irrationality’....my obvious mental health issues (I’ve heard that one a couple times already, lol - no shit, I’m ADHD, have longterm PTSD, and a literal lifetime’s worth of trauma I’m still actively unpacking and sorting through, lol, what the fuck was the revelation in me having mental health issues? I’m not shy about it, and I don’t use it as an excuse for being an asshole.....guess what? I’m an asshole sometimes, and I can absolutely point to when and where I’ve been one. I’m not hiding it, and I’m not hiding behind mental illness).

Plus, y’know there’s my ‘fake wokeness’ because a white man can’t have any possible reasons or experiences that lead to him choosing to prioritize supporting people of color in fandom over other white people while still firmly being motivated by things that are born of his own life and his own lane, and just *gasp* happen to make me care more about certain shit than other white people do, like.....I’m as transparent as I am about my feelings and motivations for a REASON. I’m not UNAWARE of any of this or how I come across.....the thing so many of you don’t get is that none of this is a multiple choice test where you have to circle the right answer and you pass, you’re a good ally or a good influence or a good person.....all of this is just life. Its just us all making choices and everyone else reacting to those choices in whatever the hell way they choose.

I’m not trying to win any points with anybody.....if I DID care about cultivating my own influence in fandom, I MORE than have the communication skills to couch my most controversial opinions in language that would be more palatable to the MOST influential corners of fandom, draw more people in, be less alienating or distancing to people who have a kneejerk defensive reaction to a lot of the things I say....like, however influential I may or may not be in various fandoms and various fandom circles....I am perfectly aware of how I could say or do things differently to have MORE influence in broader reaching circles....I just fucking hate that kind of game playing.

I’m the opposite of trying to win points....I just want the people who are around me and who follow me to actually RESPECT me enough to fucking listen to me and what I have to say....because otherwise, how do either of us even benefit? What’s the point? Who’s gaining anything from any interaction?

So yeah. I’m loud, and vocal, and opinionated....I say exactly what’s on my mind and I don’t apologize for it. I’m an asshole to people who are an asshole to me first, and sometimes I fuck up and I’m an asshole to people who don’t deserve it. And if you call me on that and I pull my head out of my ass soon enough to notice in time that you’re right and I owe you an apology, I’ll do that! And if you don’t want to call me on it and choose to take the offense I caused as a reason not to follow me or interact with me any further....that’s perfect valid and understandable too, and absolutely your right! Do what you need to do for you!

But the one thing that will never ever ever win you any points with me and that I just despise more than anything....is the fundamental lack of awareness, and lack of respect for me and what I’ve lived through....that the S/terek readers of mine who started the chain of events that led to me settling on my current approach to interacting with fandoms.

That thing where some people in various fandoms think its perfectly acceptable and reasonable to like some of my fan content....but then get pissed and upset with me because I don’t like all of the same things you do, think all of the things you do, and am judgmental about various ships you might have or fics you might read or write......and then take this out on me.

Nuh uh. Not okay. Never okay. Do not pass go, do not collect $200, I DO NOT SIT THERE AND TAKE THAT SHIT.

Because the thing the people this describes seem incapable or unwilling to grasp is....

For all your talk of “don’t like/don’t read” and telling me and other survivors to take responsibility for curating our own fandom content and experiences and avoiding things that might trigger us....

Even when I TRY and do that to the absolute BEST of my ability.....some of you still get pissed at me and go on the offensive because I don’t want to interact or be around certain content or people who are inspired to create that content....because of what it brings up for me, because of my various past traumas.

Like, that’s what it boils down to, IN MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCES. People liking what I have to say, until I say I don’t like something they don’t like and here’s why....and then its open fucking season, because how dare I not want to associate with them because that association is likely to expose me to triggering things they also at the same time expect me to take responsibility for avoiding, so as not to blame anyone else for my exposure to such things.

Can you please maybe understand why that fundamentally DOES NOT FUCKING WORK??

And is not only utterly unreasonable, but offensive to ask of someone who’s just trying to participate in fandom and have a good time and simply STATE when and where relevant, that there are things that impact my ability to have a good time, just as there are things that impact the ability of other fans to enjoy themselves alongside you as well?

Or are we ever going to get around to some people admitting that their fandom experiences have absolutely nothing to do with caring about the ‘community’ people swear up and down exists, and solely prioritize their own personal enjoyment, and FUCK everyone else? (While meanwhile, also being all: but why aren’t they making more of the stuff that I at least was enjoying when they weren’t bitching about not having fun here?’ LOL. Can’t ever forget that part.)

Its just.

You all are fucking exhausting sometimes, I swear. And that doesn’t mean I’m going anywhere, because I have as much right to be here as anyone, and I DO still manage to have a good time a lot of the time in spite of this crap, but that’s never gonna stop me from saying I have a right to have more of a good time and less of a literally triggered time, if any of you might ever care to prioritize that for me as much as you ask me to prioritize your good times for you.

This isn’t me doing anything other than saying....you all are fucking exhausting sometimes, I swear. Because sometimes, I just want to say that. Sometimes, it feels good to say that. And at every time, I have every damn right to say that in any way, shape or form I want to say it, at any volume I want to say it at, because none of this is me yelling at anyone, it is every single one of us sitting safe and comfortable in front of a screen of some kind, reading someone else express themselves and deciding how we want to take that expression and what’s being expressed, and how we want to react or not react in turn.

Like....just...its that fucking simple. That is literally all so much of this fucking ‘discourse’ is. People experiencing life in different ways than other people, and some people wanting to improve their experiences, some people wanting their experiences to stay just the way they are, some people wanting to ignore every experience that doesn’t fit their expectations or desired interactions, and other people just.....idk, just being fucking high, let’s face it, half the shit on this site is just plain weird and I like to assume the best of humanity and just chalk it up to half this site’s user base being high as fuck most of the time they post, LOL.

*Shrugs* Congrats if you actually read all the way through to the end of this post....like....this is where I reiterate...I have ZERO expectations for this post. I have NO clue how people will react to it, how many or how few people will take it in the way I want it to be taken, especially because *I* don’t even know how I want it to be taken or what I would like to come of it. This is literally just me saying shit that is on my brain in response to my own personal experiences on this site and in this fandom. It is utterly, 100% up to you guys to decide what you do with it from here.

If I have one want for all fandoms, I guess it would just be.....for people to look to their own behavior and motivations and choices and take responsibility for their own shit before projecting onto other people and expecting them to do all of that while still refusing to do any of it themselves.

Too many people keep trying to drive one way on what are supposed to be two-way streets, and being shocked when that repeatedly results in collisions, pileups, accidents and blatant hit and runs.

We all live in a society.

Quit treating other members of that society like they only exist to cater to your existence alone.

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gobbochune · 6 years

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I’m calling you out for not knowing how to call people out

I saw a callout post for a problematic user the other day that was probably the worst attempt defamation I’ve ever seen. And this made me mad not because I thought the target was wrongly accused, but because there were like seven people giving their testimony to the abuse and yet it was handled so poorly that I doubt anyone who saw it would even believe them. This is pretty dangerous considering the person in question was an actual pedophile grooming children for sex, and a quick google search told me that this person has an army of stans ripping the lack of significant evidence apart in order to entrap new victims. Calling out the blatant inconsistencies in testimonies is a tactic that abusers use to separate their victims from the people who want to help them. Anyone who has had a run-in with a serial pedophile can tell you that they usually have a methods to make people trust them over numerous allegations. Its not enough to throw a rock at their house, at its worst, that rock can even help the abuser gain a victim’s sympathy.

So I’d like to take this moment to explain how to properly spread information about a potentially dangerous person. Though, I’d like to make this very clear: I’m not saying this as someone whose done a lot of these as if its some kind of art form. I’m doing this from the perspective of someone who has seen the scum of the earth and know how they ensnare people, and hope to be able to spread awareness to potential victims.

1. The Abuser

I feel like it is a no brainer to actually mention who the abuser is, but apparently thats difficult for some people to wrap their heads around. So often I will see purposeful misspellings or code names in callout posts to avoid causing drama. This is stupid for two reasons: Firstly, if it is at the point where you feel a callout post needs to be made for people’s safety, fandom drama should no longer be an issue. Secondly, if you don’t make it clear who it is you’re warning people about, how the fuck are they actually supposed to avoid them? Like, do you expect a 12 year old who is currently being gaslit by a pedophile to message you like ‘Hey, is @lle/////gory!!!334 Gregory? That kinda looked like his username but I couldn’t tell.’ Of course they’re not. They’re going to ask the person who is grooming them, who will either say ‘lol nah’ or make up a sob story as to why they’re being defamed. Grow a pair and use their names.

It is very likely that the abuser will have more then one account, you’ll probably need to list all of them that you’re aware of, but know that the minute they see a post with their current name on it they’re probably going to change it. So, mention very clearly who they are, what circles they can be found in, and how they amassed enough popularity to trap victims in the first place.

This callout post that I saw, which I will now be using as a reference for what not to do, managed to list the abuser’s various names but pretty much nothing else about them. All it said was that they were apparently the origin of some meme, but didn’t even explicitly say what the meme was so I had no idea if I even knew this person or not. I didn’t know if they were a fandom blog, an art blog, a social justice blog, a youtuber, the only context I could draw was from the fandom-specific usernames of their victims. If they changed their name, which they probably did right away, I would have no way of telling who this person was.

Include screenshots of any of their posts with a lot of notes and listing this as identification for who they are. Also explicitly mention what circles they can be found in, any projects they were involved with, and any other iconography that can be associated with them. However, there is something I’d like to stress:

Do not include leaked personal information such as home address, workplace, or emails. It is not your authority to broadcast this information online. A callout post is not a legal testimony, merely a warning to other internet users within a community. If alerting the authorities is necessary, it is a different process to be handled by the victims and their supporters. Do not attempt to intervene through a social media.

If you don’t want to receive hate from an army of stans thats understandable, which is why many people often will make a blog where victims can anonymously offer evidence. In fact, I suggest doing this as a first resort as it is easier to search “_____ problematic” into Tumblr then it is to scour a personal blog for mention of the abuser. This will also provide a handy archive for the allegations, and help keep up with the abuser’s activity. However, for legitimacy’s sake, I suggest that the mod’s identities of these blogs be clear. This leads us to my next point:

2. The Evidence

This is actually my primary reason for wanting to make this. The stuff mentioned above delegitimises accusations but isn’t really dangerous the same way a shoddy presentation of evidence can be. Someone who has been thoroughly brainwashed by the abuse cycle will look for any reason to continue a relationship with their abuser. They’ve likely been isolated from their friends, groomed to worship or fear their abuser, and are so drained from a volatile relationship that they don’t have the mental energy to waste on doubt. It takes a lot of strength to end even a good relationship, thats why abusers try to keep their victims drained and confused. They make them think it is easier to continue being abused then try to untangle the lies and manipulation.

That is why you need to be explicit, blunt, and vocal about what the abuser has done. Put the most serious and unforgivable accusations at near top of your post in clear view. Try not to rely too heavily on accusations that dont have concrete evidence, as the abuser has probably already explained away anything you don’t have in writing.

I am going to once again revisit the terrible callout post from before. The first thing they did was the usual attention grabbing intro with the paragraph pretending to tell us who this person is was to list a bunch of testimonies from various users.

Now, testimonies don’t really work over tumblr in a traditional sense. In a courtroom a testimony is given under oath, all the words spoken must be presumed to be true because the speaker understands that lying is a federal offence. Obviously the internet is not like this, and there is nothing stopping someone with a blog from lying. Not to mention, if they had been in the abuser’s circle in the past but is now flinging accusations, it is safe to say they didn’t leave on the best of terms. Abusers are famously unable to take responsibility for their relationships falling apart, odds are everyone in the abuser’s circle convinces their latest victim that all previous victims were in the wrong.

I spoke with a friend who briefly joined the public discord of a known abuser to see what it was like, and showed me the rules specifically prohibiting anyone on the server to discuss allegations towards the mods. There was even a list of names that the bot would automatically block if you tried to type them in the chat log, and the mods had this witch hunt mentality where if they found evidence of you conversing with blacklisted users outside the discord, you would be banned and your name would be added to the list. It is very likely that the act of reading a testimony and asking about it could place a victim in danger.

However, there is value to a testimony online if there are more then one. Testimonies are really only effective if there are an abundance of them, so many that you don’t even have to read one, the sheer volume of people speaking out against the abuser is suspicious enough on its own. Again, the presence of a blog that allows anonymous asks or submissions would be the ideal platform to publish testimonies.

Back at the terrible callout post, underneath the list of testimonies they had some bullet points of direct evidence that they linked directly back to the abusers blog. You should not do this. I cannot believe there are people who do not realise it is largely worthless to use posts that the abuser still has access to as a source.

If you have even a remotely functional following anywhere on the internet you have probably said something stupid that bit you in the ass before. Your immediate reaction was probably to defend yourself, and when that failed, you go back and delete the post. Abusers can do the same thing, or, even more insidious, edit the post to say something else.

“_____ fetishises black women! here is the link!” can originally have linked to something explicit but can easily be changed to “I think black women are beautiful and deserve our support <3 <3″ to make the writer of the callout post look stupid or overzealous.

Screenshots are your friends. Take screenshots of the concerning behaviour and either include them in the post or link to a photo sharing archive. There’s really not much to explain about this. I cannot believe someone thought linking back to the original url would work.

Another thing I cannot believe about that terrible callout post was that half of the accusations linked to posts of people repeating rumours they’ve heard.

This is...dumb. This is unsalvageable. Don’t to this. It will never count and you will look like an idiot.

However that terrible awful worthless callout post did have SOME credible evidence, to shit that didn’t matter at all, which leads us to our last point.

3. The Abuse

Now this part is hard to discuss as most people seem to think abuse is a subjective term. This is not the case.

While abuse can take shape in an infinite number of ways, not all stuff that pisses you off counts as abuse. Sometimes a jerk is just a jerk. Now you can hate a jerk as much as you want- they probably deserve it, but don’t try to sell someone just being a generally awful person as abuse.

The terrible awful no good callout post tried to back up claims of criminal activity by saying the abuser cares more about Doctor Who than Flint Michigan.

This is not abuse. Why would anyone think this is abuse.

Now, if I have a blog devoted to a fandom I’m probably not going to post stuff about Flint Michigan to that blog. As stated above, I had no idea who this person was. For all I know they could have been exclusively a fanblog for Doctor Who. Sometimes there are just spaces that are kept away from serious real world issues and that in itself is not a crime.

Trying to equate something like that to an act of sexual assault only makes it easier to dismiss your legitimate concerns by saying: ‘they’re just hating on me for being cringy’

There are millions of reasons why someone might not want to keep up with real world social activism on their blog, and those are a million reasons the abuser will use to invalidate your legitimacy.

But hey, if that sort of thing annoys you, I totally get that. Go ahead and block this person, campaign against them, blacklist their stuff, encourage your friends to do the same. I’ve blocked people for less, just dont call it abuse.

Now there is actual fan content that is means for legitimate concern. If the person consistently praises or creates content of abusive scenarios, its a red flag. If a person consistently defends incest or pedophilia, its a red flag. If a person bullies someone else for being ‘triggered’ over Flint Michigan, its a red fucking flag.

The problem isn’t the art or the content or the blog type, but the mentality behind those things. Liking Doctor who isnt a problem. Liking the idea of Doctor Who having sex with his own daughter is. Avoiding current events isnt a problem. Trying to bully activists into silence is. You need to include that context to be taken seriously.

Chat logs are your friend. Get the permission of victims to post, anonymously or otherwise, chatlogs of concerning behaviour. Try to focus on patterns to show a potential victim that the tactics used to insnare them have been used on other people before. Highlight instances of an abuser being sweet, (The Honeymoon Phase) as well as how quickly they devolve into abuse.

In Conclusion

I’ve probably turned a lot of people off with this big dumb rant about something as petty as a callout post, and to those people I say: Good. If you’ve never been in a position to need this kind of thing then that is good. I’m not being facetious here, or implying you don’t know what you’re talking about just because you disagree with me, a callout post is really a last ditch effort to warn others that someone can construct in the aftermath of their ordeal. Pretty much everything I’ve mentioned relies on the willingness for victims to come forward, which I totally understand if they dont want to.

It is not my intention to bully others into sharing traumatic memories over the internet, but rather to make sure that anyone who does speak out wont become a target for harassment. At the end of the day, these are just posts floating around on tumblr. All you can ever hope is for someone to see your warning and stay away from the person who hurt you. Perhaps even draw the attention of other victims and help them process what has happened to them.

But baseless claims and petty squabbles aren’t how you do that. Abuse should be taken seriously, and there is a large difference between someone Problematic and an actual Abuser.

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mikeswheeler · 7 years

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I was tagged by the lovely @finnxwheeler and @jewishstanuris ♡

Okay so answer the questions and then tag 8 people!

What made you sign up to Tumblr? HOOO BOI well i’ve been on this site for,,, a long time lmao i signed up with my first account aka my main, personal one in around early 2011 ??? and it was honestly just bc i wanted to see what this site was all about bc i kept hearing ppl talk about it on other sites and reference it and i was like ???? what is Tumblr anyways ?? (like it was all bc of that “What is air?” stuff that was happening and i was so confused bc i was like why is everyone asking about air and then my older brother was like oh it’s a Tumblr thing so i was like what’s that and well,, the rest is history)

What did your blog start off as being? WELL my first account was basically cringe-central, like this was in 2011 so my content was basically Memes and Tumblr-esque inspirational quotes and cheesy, basic lookin’ photography (i was also really into anime and Harry Potter at the time so that was another thing) (oh and for some reason i had a Lolita phase where i was super into that style of fashion) (i was a weeb as a child)

Have you ever received any creepy asks, and if so, what did they say? Ehhhhhh,,, kind of ??? like i’ve definitely gotten a couple that i either wanted to deflect or i just kind of conveniently deleted it from my inbox and pretended it never happened lmao

Have you ever had a bad experience on Tumblr? All the pornbots like it’S SO ANNOYING ??? AND GROSS ?? it’s especially apparent on my personal blog idk why but i have to block so many at a time smh

If you had to pick a favourite English monarch, who would you pick? This is like a question i’ve never had to think about so I’m not really sure what to answer...

Do you prefer hot or cold? COLD COLD COLD i’m also in California though so our cold isn’t like...... unbearable ya know ??? but i can’t stand being super hot and sweaty, it’s so uncomfortable !!!

Do you have a special skill or talent? UHM I GUESS ACTING ????????? idk i kinda don’t wanna say that bc that’s implying i’m like ‘good’ at or whatever, but i have been in multiple plays/musicals before and even gotten an award for one of my roles so i guess that counts for something !!!

Do you have a phobia of anything? Tight spaces, spiders (or just bugs in general), the dark, heights, anything medical related so blood and needles and hospitals and what not, aliens/the paranormal/supernatural (it’s not such a wild concept ok like it’s all totally plausible)... uHM yah i’m a big baby about a lot of things

If you had to pick a favourite real life villain from history, who would you pick? Again, never had to consider this question before in my life so i’m not really sure !!!

Do you have any dark traits?

There are times where i’m pretty withdrawn and moody and easily irritated

If you could do anything, literally anything, like fly on a unicorn or something, what would it be?

Is it weird if it’d be something like,,, be cast on Stranger Things ??? like i think i fantasize about being on that show ten times a day, i just...... i really wanna be on Stranger Things gOD IMAGINE HOW AMAZING THAT WOULD BE

What is the scale of the worst argument you’ve ever had? Slamming doors, raised voices, lots of crying...... fun times !!!

What is your favourite slush flavour? Not really into slushies tbh

If you could bring back any food or drink from your childhood that has been discontinued, what would it be? DUNKAROOS ????? i feel like any snack from the 90s tho like we just don’t have anything as fun as what we had back then

What is your favourite and most vivid childhood memory? Nothing specific but i remember playing outdoors with my siblings A LOT like we had a pretty big backyard so we’d constantly be out there, being imaginative and coming up with fake scenarios and acting them out, or like playing with the hose in the summertime or THE POOL omg we had this pool and we’d be in it so much...... also video game battles with my older brother ! my childhood was kinda shitty but at least i have those moments to reflect back on

If you could bring anyone back from the dead who would it be? My first theatre teacher from high school... he passed away due to cancer around my sophomore year... he was really inspiring to me, i mean he’s kinda the reason why i stuck with that class and didn’t totally give up (thus resulting in me finding out that i love acting and that’s what i wanted to do with my life)

If you could go back to any time period and live there for a week, which period would it be and why? GIVE ME THE 80′S OH MY GOD my mom grew up in the 80′s as a teenager so i always hear all the stories from her about what it was like and it seemed like ??? so cool ?? especially if you were a teen like what a dream ! give me my 80′s teen movie memories !!!

If you could visit any abandoned place to take pictures, where would it be?

Wow, this is actually a good question....... maybe like a retro arcade or art museum or amusement park ???? i feel like those could make for some Neat Photos (the aesthetic tho)

Do you have any particular, peculiar interests? Hmmmmm psychology interests me ?? i took a psychology class my junior year of high school and it was really fascinating, learning about human behavior and those stories of old psychology experiments (so Wild too like damn, i can’t believe they got away with so much shit back then)

Do you have a creepy/scary experience that has happened to you, and what was it? Not necessarily to me personally like, i’ve heard things before but idk to what extent that could mean so i never really looked Too Much into it bUT UHM i know my family has, especially in my childhood home (that place was straight up haunted like i swear) ALTHOUGHHHHH one night my mom was talking to us about something she saw in her room and all of a sudden a bunch of weird shit started going on in our apartment like our printer kept turning on and off and noises came from the kitchen like a cabinet shutting and things like that IT WAS CREEPY OK

Do you like/read creepypasta stories? If so, what’s your favourite story? Don’t really have a favorite, but i have read creepypasta stories in the past before - they’re pretty intriguing ! (i’m a total wuss tho!!!! which is why i don’t read enough to have a personal favorite)

If you were in the Wars of the Roses, would you be a Lancastrian, or a Yorkist? Haven’t given this any thought before to decide so I DON’T KNOW !

What is your recurring nightmare? Don’t really have any ?????

Have you ever had a lucid dream? Nah, because the moment i become aware i’m dreaming and i can do whatever i want, i wake up !!! it’s so frustrating lmao

If you could go to another planet, which would it be? UHM i just really like the way Saturn looks lmao also Venus bc it sounds Nice but in terms of living conditions, i’m sure none of those are suitable

What is your religion, if any? Don’t really have one !!!! (in the sense of actively practicing) although my mom is Jewish so i have always felt the most connected to that one

Have you ever got so drunk, that you did something really embarrassing, and if so, what did you do? i’ve never gotten drunk before so lmao

Mike, Dustin, Lucas, or Will? THIS IS ???? NOT FAIR ??? THEY’RE ALL MY SONS HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME CHOOSE JUST ONE but fine, i pick Mike just bc i feel the most related to him in the sense of personality traits

Do you like Marina and the Diamonds? SURE ??? she’s got some good stuff

Charli XCX? YAH SURE WHY NOT i like some of her stuff !!

Tag a blog that you’ve seen, and you love their posts, but have never told them, and would like to talk to them. @miliebobbybrown HER EDITS ARE ALWAYS SO ??? GOOD ???? her whole blog is total #goals just bc of how Nice everything is like wow i am,,, Intimidated but in the best way possible

Pick one thing you like/love from the 80s. The pop culture :^) (movies, music, fashion...... like wow, i just love it all so much)

What year were you born, and name something cool from that year. 1998 and Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets was published

What was your blog name originally? (If you had another blog name) This one was originally lifeisdefinitelystrange (rip)

Do you follow any blogs that you know the user in real life? KIND OF ?? I JUST MET @telekineticeggos FOR THE FIRST TIME IN REAL LIFE LAST NIGHT SO LMAO but we’re also planning on doing more things together in real life in the next few months so YEET

If you are in the ST fandom, which is your favourite song off the ST soundtrack? Africa by Toto (duh), Atmosphere by Joy Division, Heroes by Peter Gabriel, and When It’s Cold I’d Like To Die by Moby (those last two songs were too emotionally impacting to not name) and from the score itself i LOVE KIDS THAT ONE IS SO GOOD TO ME LMAO but tbh i love the entire score and soundtrack ???? it’s so hard to pick just One Favorite

Finally, give your opinion on the person who tagged you! @finnxwheeler - YOUR WRITING NEVER FAILS TO AMAZE ME WOW ??? i’m always in tears over how flawless your fics are like Whiskey and Broken Hearts destroyed me my dude like oh my goddddd i love your characterization of Mike and Will in all your fics :’) one of my favorite byeler blogs ♡ (also you’re super cool in general like wow what a Neat Person)

@jewishstanuris - I LOVE TALKING TO YOU !!! you’re so nice to me and understanding when i take ten years to reply LMAO also your writing is also super good ??? you should do it more often tbh like i swear you don’t do it enough bc i remember only seeing a few things written by you on here in the fandom buT LIKE THEY WERE SO GOOD AND LIKE ???? DO MORE OF THAT MAYBE ??? another rlly good blog apart of the byeler ship ♡ :’)

OK SO I’M GONNA TAG THESE GOOFS - @telekineticeggos, @dadharbour, @baileytsample, @elevenknope, @nessa007, @theamiableanachronism, @eggo-my-leggo, and @ghost-grantaire ♡ (obviously you don’t have to do it if you’re not interested or if you’ve done it already!)

#thanks for the tag !!!!!!#im love u all #for fun

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