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#my drafts are very crowded so I am releasing these babies into the world slowly & randomly
paperlovesadness · 1 year
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Sipping on your looks but you drink me in Pass over the flattery again Its hanging heavy on my chest And its better left invisible for now
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Confessions are bouncing round my head So I add them to the archive of things we've never said I lock them up with all the rest But its better left invisible for now
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If the rope we walk starts wobbling The river tide feels like its coming in I lock them up with all the rest It's hanging heavy on my chest Though its tempting to confess It's better left invisible for now
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Temperature rising Fever is high I can't see no future I can't see no sky My eyes are wide open And so is my head I'm praying to someone Get me out of this hell
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purekesseltrash · 3 years
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My Fic List
Whelp, decided I should do one of these.  I have mostly written for Hockey RPF and BNHA, as you have likely already seen!
My BNHA Fics
Bury Them Deep
- “Shouji Mezou's entire life has revolved around being a goalie and playing hockey since he was five years old. After being drafted in the third round in the NHL, Shouji has two more years of college before moving on to playing professional hockey like he's always wanted. Or at least like he always thought he wanted. An injury that ends his season throws him into a tailspin, forcing him to take a look at his life and how he is going to live it, especially after meeting his fascinating new goth history tutor.”
(This bad bitch is 81k total and is chock full of my red hot hockey takes and midwestern references.  I love it very much and it is a sweet baby.)
The Rooftop Necromancy series AKA my black metal band AU:
Downhill from Here 
- “ Hizashi just wants to tour the country with his best friends with their metal band in their shitty van like they've been planning for years. He'd successfully hidden his crush on one of them for years, after all, he would definitely be able to make this work and keep things fun and uncomplicated. Until Aizawa decided to start acting weird. “
(In which I take you all on a nostalgic trip to 2006-2008 metal culture and you can see the black metal love song that my dumb ass wrote.)
The Perfect Mistake
- “ It wasn't as though Hizashi had planned on breaking up with his boyfriend while they were on tour in a tiny cargo van with no room and no peace. He would have much rather preferred to do it when they were home and he could easily go and crawl back into his mom's basement. But he didn't have a choice. “
(As relationships tend to do, theirs goes through problems.)
Rooftop Necromancy
-"He’d even ended up leaning into the crowd when someone’s elbow had connected solidly with his nose and thrown him back. They’d gone quiet as Hizashi got himself up to his feet, ripped off his now bloody ‘Within Temptations’ tshirt from 2004, whipped his hair back from his face and screamed, “That’s what I’m FUCKING talking about.” into the mic.
They went wild for it, cheering as blood ran down his nose, past his mouth and dripped onto the stage, leaving him feeling like an otherworldly monster performing an occult ritual. Metal, he thought dazedly to himself, why in the fuck had he ever stopped doing metal."
(I hyperfocused so hard at the idea of Mic as a metal head that I wrote this in seven straight hours and WROTE THROUGH THE ATTEMPTED COUP ON DEMOCRACY WITHOUT KNOWING IT.  It’s a bit rough, but it’s got some good parts and it spawned the whole damn series.)
Hands Up
- "But of course he had, they had always been able to read each other and what they meant. That had often been their problem, if he was going to be honest."
(In which they figure their shit out.  Basically it was written when I was thinking alot about how my own mental health had evolved through the years.  It’s basically the story of two people who are both very good for each other and also very bad and how they deal with that.  It’s probably the most personally meaningful thing I’ve ever written.)
The other BNHA fics:
Waking Up With Ghosts
-"Hizashi opened his eyes to a world that belonged to ghosts. His headphones were gone and the gray, grimy world that he felt more than saw was muffled and still. This was bad, he hazily thought."
In which we follow Hizashi shortly after the events of 296. How he's found, how he finds out and how he has to tell.”
(I fished this one out of the garbage of my Google Docs because I’d written most of it and forgotten about it.  I dragged it out, prettied it up a little and threw it up on AO3.  It is by far my most well read BNHA fic, go figure.)
Leave Her Johnny
-”Captain Hizashi Yamada has combed the Seven Seas looking for the elusive smuggler Eraserhead. He has spent years searching for him, tracking his movements and trying to anticipate where he would be next. But he had never considered what would happen when he finally found him. “
(I wrote a paragraph of this and was immediately like ‘I MUST CREATE THIS’.  I take some chances writing wise in this as the whole thing is done in a Victorian Era ish style of writing.  But I think it’s effective and the ending is likely one of the best that I’ve ever managed.  I’m proud of it.)
Gold Rush
-”"That earned him a laugh and Mashirao’s smile made something in his chest ache, something that made him want to hurt. Why had he ever left?
“I’m really not,” Mashirao was saying but Shinsou just shook his head and kissed him once, twice and wished he could take the sunny afternoon and make it stay forever. Make it stay forever like Mashirao somehow had, while the neighborhood had adjusted without Hitoshi’s permission.
“You are,” he said, “And I love it.”
I love you, he should have said.  But as Mashirao’s eyes softened and the blonde pushed him back against the bed, Hitoshi knew he didn’t need to say it."
(You know how sometimes you listen to a Death Cab for Cutie song about gentrification over and over until a fic comes out?  Because that’s basically what happened here.)
Black Sun
‘"But then he remembered the way that Shouji had eaten the night after, one hand curled into his hair as he hung back in the corner. Shouji hid when something was wrong, like a wounded cat trying to find a dark place to either live or die and he was being released tomorrow. Now was the time to push or he’d find Shouji right back on his bed, staring at nothing."
Something happened to Shouji on the beach. Tokoyami is sure of it.‘
(Aaaaaand Death Cab for Cutie strikes again.  But heyo, my first published ShouToko and it is SOFTTTTT)
In the Far and Mighty West
Mic came closer and despite himself, Shouta could not find it in him to feel afraid. “You won’t understand, not really. I’ll try, though. I’m like Pecos Bill or Paul Bunyan or a jackalope or that fish that your friend caught that he swears he brought in but that you’ve never seen proof of. I’m the herd of dogies moving sweet and steady in the right direction, I’m no stragglers to worry about, I’m that perfect dog that’s there to keep them in line. I’m that group of good friends that you would kill for, I’m the woman who you’re dying to come home to, I’m that promised home of milk and honey. I’m Mic.”
Shouta stared at him dazedly and licked his lips, feeling drunk and stupid as he stared at the man. “You’re… magic?”
“I suppose you could call me that.”
(Cowboy!Erasermic.  Inspired heavily by American Gods and my own love of folk heroes.)
In Your Violence
- “'Mezou frowned, eyes narrowing. “Are you trying to say that you’re scared that I’ll be killed by having faith in you?”
“It would be in your best interest to stay away from me,” Fumikage finally said, his voice falling flat and quiet. “I am destined to be a monster.”
'Mezou gets the call he fears, the one that says that Fumikage has lost control again. But this time it's different, in more ways than one.”
(I listened to Silence by Marshmello until I went insane in this is the result.  Featuring some of my super depressing headcanons about Shouji!  But it’s not awful.)
My hockey fics that I still like:
Hufflepuff Halfwit  
- ““Zhenya, the wind is coming from the west, I will not remind you again. You shut that window before the house stinks of factories!” She snapped and Geno stared at the owl as though maybe it would know what to do. But instead, it had given a little hoot and wiggled inside, only to drop it’s letter on the counter.
He turned his head very slowly back to look at his mother, who had suddenly gone very quiet. “It… just showed up, Mama. And um. It brought a letter.” He waited again, looked back at the owl who had begun to nose at the pirozhkis in interest and then looked back at his mother with the best puppy dog eyes he had ever attempted. “Can I keep it?”
(This is a part of my hockey/Harry Potter au that still legitimately haunts my dreams.  It’s basically a Sid/Geno in Hogwarts but I really love the world building I got to do with Koldovstoretz, the Russian school of wizardry.  Don’t read ‘On the Word of a Slytherin’ though, I’m not as proud of that one.)
The Prince  
- “What the fuck.” Matt breathed out, sitting back heavily onto his hotel bed as he stared at his phone.
‘This is Henrik.’ The text read. ‘I would like to meet you. I will book a room in Pittsburgh at your convenience. Let me know what time will work for you.’  - 
(Listen, it’s Henrik Lundqvist/Matt Murray smut, I feel like that is novel and interesting and worth your attention.  I wax poetic on goalies in this, as you do.)
The Zoo of Toronto 
- “No one missed it when a massive porcupine had shuffled in between the reporters with a single minded focus, pushing media away until it was able to grip onto Phil’s suit pants and try to pull itself up. He hadn’t been able to do more then besides pick the animal up before it could shred his pants to shreds and walk out of the locker room before the decision had been made with the Toronto media.
Phil Kessel was guilty.” 
(Not gonna lie, this is probably my favorite of the hockey fics I’ve written.  And it’s Phil/Carl, which is never found anymore but it was a good pairing.)
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leelee10898 · 6 years
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For You: Chapter 7 - Little Wonders
Summery: A few weeks pass after their fight and make up. Will they find out the sex of the babies? Who is this woman with the unusual eye brows? Leo and Dex have words. catch up here. As always if you would like added to the tag list. let me know. Rating: Mature Chapter inspiration: Little Wonders - Rob Thomas
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Aria woke early in morning, the extreme urge to use the bathroom jolting her from her slumber. She was 21 weeks pregnant now, and the twins were weighing on her bladder something fierce. After climbing back into bed, she nuzzled against Leos bare chest in attempts to go back to sleep. The realization that she wouldn’t soon set in, today was a big day. Today was their big ultrasound, the one they hoped to reveal the sex of the twins. Their friends had a pool going, Olivia and Drake both thought Girls, Liam and Maxwell thought Boys, and Ellie and Leo thought one of each. Aria did not weigh in on her thoughts, to her she was just happy they were ok. She did not know she was pregnant when Madeline shot her, things could have gone very wrong had she been hit anywhere else.
 "Mmm what time is it baby?" Leo mumbled half asleep. "7:30." Aria sighed. Leo rubbed his eyes, waking up a bit more. "You're anxious about today aren't you?" He rubbed her stomach. "I am, I hope these two behave." She chuckled. "If they are anything like their momma, they will. " he cooed kissing her belly. "If they are anything like their Daddy, they will probably give the tech the finger." She snorted. Leo wore a look of shock and innocence on his face paired with his devilish grin. She pushed his shoulder playfully "I’m so hungry I could literally eat a horse." She joked as she rolled out of bed only for Leo to catch her arm. “Wait here love.” He jumped out of bed and disappeared down the hall. He returned a little later with a tray full of food. “Breakfast in bed? You spoil me super man.” she giggled. “Of course Love.” he settled into the bed as they ate their breakfast.
A couple hours later they were in the imaging office, waiting to be called back. The office had signed a disclosure contract, that they were not to discuss the pregnancy with anyone, however it did not protect them against other patients. An announcement needed to be made very soon. "Hale." The technician called out. Aria and Leo made their way to the room "Hi. My name is Tessa, I will be doing your scan." Aria tried very hard to stiffen her laughter. Leo sat next to her, a wide grin on his face. "Oh man, looks like I am out of gel. Give me a second and I will be right back." As soon as Tessa left the room Aria's head whipped to Leo's. "Did you see that?" She giggled. "I did Love, didn't you know. Dicked eyebrows are all the rage in Europe." he said with a straight face. "I can't with you." She giggled. "She's seriously sporting those Dickbrows."she laughed a little louder, Leo joined in. "Ok, now lets get this show on the road." Tessa announced as she re entered the room. 
As she scanned over her stomach Aria tried her best to pay attention to her two little sprouts on the screen, but her eyes kept wandering back to Tessa’s dick brows. Every time she blinked or moved them, it looked like they were dry humping the air. At one point she couldn’t take it anymore and laughed very loud. Leo smirked, he knew exactly what she was laughing at. "I’m sorry, I thought of something funny." Aria blushed trying to play it off. Tessa continued the scan showing them their babies feet, hands, fingers and their profiles. "Do you want to know the sex's of the babies?" Tessa asked. "Yes!" They said in unison. "We do, but we want to have a reveal. So we don't want you to tell us." Aria explained. "Of course, we can put the gender in an envelope for you." Tessa explained. "Can you tell what they are?" Leo question. "Umm yep, I see baby A's gender." She scanned "And there's baby B's." Tessa smiled as she printed a few pictures. "Everything looks great here, you have two healthy little ones, congratulations your Grace and your highness." Tessa left the room. Once in the car Aria was hit by a fit of laughter "I must send these to Ellie." She continued to giggle. Leo glanced over her shoulder "you didn’t love?" "They were Dicks Leo, on her eye brows. That calls for proof Ellie would never believe me." Aria laughed as she forwarded the pictures she secretly took of Tessa.
After their appointment they went to the palace to meet with Liam. An official statement would need to be drafted announcing they were expecting. Aria had already told her parents the news, shortly after she found out. Since Aria was clearly showing, and with Constantine’s birthday ball two days away, it was now time to let court and country know. Regina was still very cold towards Aria, Leo had it out with her on numerous occasions. Whenever the two of them would stop by, Regina made herself scarce. The announcement had been drafted, and would be broadcast in the papers and media outlets the day after the Ball. Leo and Aria would make their announcement during the ball to the entire court.
Two days later it was Finally Constantine's birthday ball. Aria wore a pastel pink chiffon dress with a long shaw so she could cover her bump as best they could. As they arrived the Herald announced them, Leo caught Dex licking his lips out of the corner of his eye. His jaw tensed and his hand balled into a fist. He had not come face to face with him since he put all of those things in Aria’s head. "He doesn't matter, this is your fathers birthday, and we are finally announcing the babies." She whispered into his ear, calming his nerves immediately. "Of course love. Besides, I am the one with the most gorgeous woman in the room on my arm." He kissed her cheek.
 Dinner was served, followed by speeches. As Constantine thanked everyone for coming, he then turned the attention to Leo and Aria, calling both up to the center of the room. "Welcome everyone, I know I am usually the one raiding the bar and causing the most ruckus so this is a change for all." Several in the crowd chuckle. "You see, a long time ago I met an amazing woman and fell madly in love." Leo turned and smiled at Aria. "Life happened and we were torn apart. Until one day, fate brought her back to me." Leo grabbed her hand. "Even though it had been a long bumpy road, our love proved stronger then anything else." Aria watched on with much admiration, the love of her life gushing with pure joy. "Our love was so big that it needed to expand, and so it is our greatest joy to announce the Royal family will be expanding. Duchess Aria and I are expecting twins." He beamed as a roar of applause and cheers filled the room. Leo leaned in dipping Aria slightly back, one hand firmly in her back, the other on her stomach as his lips captured hers in a deep kiss. Dex quickly downs a tumbler of whiskey and grabs another. Leo looks over to see Dex gritting his teeth. Leo grins like a Cheshire cat, at the satisfaction of Dex’s displeasure. 
They head back to their table, bombarded by their friends with the question on everyone's mind. "What are they?" They all asked. Ellie pipped up "I am throwing a Gender reveal party, you'll all find out then." The group groans. "But when little petunia?" Maxwell whined. "In a week, I have already spoken to Arias mom. The party will be in Pennsylvania." "What?" Aria whipped her head to her best friend. "We wanted to include your parents, so Ellie and I made the arrangements." Leo put his arm around her waist. "Besides, I thought it time I met the parents." Aria half heartedly chuckled yeah my dad is going to be so pissed she thought to herself. As the night went on both Aria and Leo made their rounds, fielding questions about the babies Genders, and when the would the wedding be. Leo had a few plans and did not want to spoil them, so they just told everyone they were focusing on the babies first. Leo had wandered over to the bar for a scotch when Dex approached him. 
"Well congrats Daddy." Sarcasm dripping off Dex’s words. "That’s the funniest thing I have ever heard, Leo being a father. Does Aria really think you'll stick around?" "Jealous Dex? Cant have something you want? And here I thought you said I had an child out there somewhere.” Leo scoffed.” I told you, Aria loves me. Those babies are mine. You're out of your league Dexter." Leo gulped down his scotch and took off for the door, trying to distance himself from Dex before he did something he'd regret at his fathers party. Dex followed, hot on his heels. "She will leave you Rhys, you aren't good enough for that fine a piece of ass." Dex sneered. 
 "What the fuck did you say?" Leo turned to face him. "You'll fuck it up, And she will leave you. I'll swoop in and save the day. " Dex grinned. Anger splashed across Leo's face as he slowly made his way closer to Dex. "Mmm I cant wait to get in between those thighs." Dex teased.  Leo closed the distance, his fist connecting with Dex's jaw. Dex’s face jerked to the side. Leo gripped him up by his collar and pushed him against the wall. "You listen here you dirty son of a bitch. She is MINE, and if you come near her again or try to hurt us in anyway, I will burry your sorry ass." Leo released his grip and walked away leaving Dex to rub his aching jaw. "I will get you back, for what you did to me. Mark my words. " Dex mumbled to himself. He continued to rub his jaw as he left the palace.
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