#my ableist 7th grade science teacher whose class i always passed out in was more bearable
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saying this here bc my teacher will never find it here
william . [i grab him in one fist and crush him]
#william is my painting teacher#i have never hated a class more in my entire life#my ableist 7th grade science teacher whose class i always passed out in was more bearable#i’m about to have my second painting related breakdown of the week which doesn’t seem like a lot but it lasts all day#i hâte this i genuinely cannot stand sitting here working for hours knowing my work is gonna be torn to shreds anyway because i’m a beginner#and i’m not good at painting because it’s not a part of my fucking career path!!!!#gamma’s static#vent#last week i had a meltdown DURING CLASS because i just could not understand this#and he was like well yeah it’s hard it’s hard for everyone but you can do it#fuck you fuck you fuck you it’s not hard for everyone it’s not people can finish their paintings before they leave class but it takes me#over two weeks shit the fuck up#/nbh#my self esteem has not been this slow since i was hospitalized#hospital mention#i cant even get help from disability resources because i need a written proof of diagnosis to get ANY kind of accommodation. i don’t have#that for my fucking dehabilitating depression and stomach issues so i guess i just have to wait until i get an autism evaluation and i have#no idea when that is and i’m just so fucking tired i can’t fuckinh do this every week for the next 4 months i’m going to snap!!!#nobody’s gonna help me unless i have proof that i’m fucked up and my hospital’s gi WONR CALL ME EITHER SO I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING
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