#mostly a conversation with Tuffi i wanted to save | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

silasbug · 2 years

Text

dream log Nr. -014

14/03/2022 (extracted from a chat, unstructured)

hade:

I had a dream where we were running dungeons and kept getting Elden Hollow I and you were getting sooooo frustrated

Tuffi:

lol

somehow i am jealous of you dreaming so much but since you told me it feels like not sleeping, i am not jealous

hade:

You shouldnt be, plus I was half-conscious during that dream and was aware I was half-awake, but the dream kept repeating somehow & I wasnt actually falling back asleep

I did feel a little rested during that time

then I fell deep again, had another intense dream where I was sprinting across fields with a plant-farmers market on them and I kept passing out while running and hence tumbling and rolling off the floor

then I felt fucking tired again when I woke up lmao

idk man I have periods where I dont dream or cant remember and sleep is super uneventful, and then there are times like these where I'm just.. "please, no more”

but ngl its very interesting being able to remember full cohesive dreams, I kind of love it besides the tiredness

Getting control of them would be sweeeeet

but idk how, I can be aware of thr fact that I'm dreaming but it'll have no bearing on whether or not I can change or impact that dream

when I am a little more conscious or close to consciousness (so waking, or being aware that I have to go to the bathroom for example) I can repeat parts of the dream but it will no longer organically continue

I just recounted them and I had 4 dreams last night, all of which I can remember in most-detail

Tuffi:

when i have strong dreams with some kind of loop in it where i can't seem to move forward, i feel like i have a smidgen of influence on it and i bet if it would happen more often, then i could trick myself a little to gain more influence on it

it feels like a psychic wall i need to train my brain for, before i can cross it

maybe i would never be able to cross it though, no idea

that's crazy

hade:

I'm usually pretty blank? But I notice when I close my eyes that the moment I start to fall asleep a shit ton just goes on in front of my eyes and if I wake without having fallsn fully asleep I kinda feel like what the fuck was that mess and where did it come from.

it's like rapidly switching channels but with some cohesion

Tuffi:

i can barely remember one dream, if i dream at all. since we are supposed to dream every night, i guess i almost never remember my dreams =/

hade:

usually same for me

but the last two days have been intense, because the night before this I was also able to recount 3-4

Tuffi:

holy shit, that sounds .... confusing

hade:

maybe implementing some kind of trigger, or designating something as trigger that could make you realize you're dreaming but in a way where you can become lucid would be neat, but I don’t think every dream would include that trigger

but thats only when I'm almost falling asleep and then wake back up before really falling asleep, that's like a 5-10 min window

usually when I fall asleep it's just snap I'm asleep

Tuffi:

dude

our brain is so crazy

it's also quite interesting how little we still know about it i guess

hade:

"brain-daddy, no! please! no more!""

Tuffi:

lol

you just humanized your brain and made it a naughty man

hade:

hahahaha

I mean it almost feels abusive

if it werent so interesting

ive always loved dreaming and being able to remember that shit because theres just absolutely nothing like it

Tuffi:

let brain daddy poke you a little

i'll be gentle

(maybe)

Muahaha

oh? you think you can run? let's trip you a couple dozen times

I HAVE THE POWAH

hade:

movies, tv, dont even come close to the weird shit your subconscious projects, the itch it scratches is so very satisfying

lmao

literally

towards the end I had rapid succession of pass out fall down roll off back up and immediate repeat for like 4x in a row

it was almost like cartwheels with your shoulders and more scrapes

Tuffi:

where did you want to go?

where you running?

why? where did you come from?

so many questions

where you just happily skipping across the field, enjoying the weather? or were you trying to reach the market?

we need to analyze the shit out of this

i mean ... your subconsciousness really gets to live out its shit when your consciousness falls asleep so ... i know i had quite a lot of dreams that made so much sense when thinking about what they've shown me

hade:

oh I remember more than running and tumbling, I just didnt write it all out, just the part that stuck the most vividly

Tuffi:

ah okay

no worries, if this gets a little too personal. they are dreams after all

quite vulnerable state that is

no control of what you think and do

hade:

for one I had a girlfriend (someone who was actually my “girlfriend” in my childhood, her name was Nina), there was a plant market across thise fields and I was looking for a new plant because one of mine died

this one was just weird, I just didnt write it all out because I didnt know how interesting dreams are for you and jusg the tumbling was super exhausting and memorable, plus funny

a new plant, I was looking for a new plant! at the plant market, because my girlfriend was a botanist and coming over and one of my plants had died and I wanted a new one and also to show her

Tuffi:

didn't you say something about your plants just yesterday ?

when we briefly talked about the vinegar smell

hade:

I got soil gnats in my plants, yes (hence the apple cider vinegar traps)

but I dont think it was related

one thing that really sucks about these phases though, despite the exhaustion, is that once the dreams fade again, either from memory or me having any, it feels sooo empty

Tuffi:

what do you mean exactly? you feel empty after forgetting what you dreamt about?

hade:

no, you feel the absence of the dreams

knowing you dreamed vs suddenly only waking up after falling asleep, just coming back from the black instead of movies in your head

it's a very distinct empty feeling

and also after forgetting what you dreamed about, because before there was knowing and remembering, and suddenly it's gone and you cant grasp it anymore

#dream log #retrospective dreams #in which i was cartwheeling along a barren field to buy a new plant to impress my dream gf #mostly a conversation with Tuffi i wanted to save

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