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#more musings ๐ / mini vent:
suddencolds
ยท
21 days
Text
~
#not snz
#more musings ๐ / mini vent:
#not sure why my social battery is so limited ๐ญ and also so inconsistent
#i feel like i can't sustain the amount of... like continued/consistent enthusiasm i see others giving esp in group settings
#i just don't know how to engage in that way without burning out
#over the past few weeks i've been stuck in like
#a strange state where i can't muster the energy to properly respond to even the people i'm most excited to reply to
#which is strange??
#(and if that is you i am sorry ๐ญ i love you and i will get back to you)
#i think i can't even like manage to get myself into the mindset of enjoying something for myself (eg. a conversation with a friend)
#i think a part of it is the stress from work leeching into my personal life
#i feel like i've been working so hard and for such long hours but its the kind of work where the progress i've made is very hard to track??
#:( i just want to be off of ******* work so i can work on ******* work again
#i also want to get ahead enough on everything in my life so that i write y+v D:
#i feel like i haven't had a properly restful day in weeks... even over the weekend i was busy attending to others' needs
#i just want a break from it all... but i dont have enough time to take off... but i dont know how much more of this i can take
#i remember also feeling during uni like i was drowning
#like there were simply not enough hours in a day to deliver everything i promised. it's such an awful feeling
#i just feel defeated. like i've felt exhausted for weeks and weeks on end and like i spend every waking hour working on something or other
#but ofc there is nothing to do but to keep at it ๐ญ other people can handle all of this and more
#there are so many people i refuse to let down
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