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incarnateirony · 4 years

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as of lately I’ve realized just how tired of fandom I am

don’t throw parties yet, people who hate how openly vocal I am. It just means I’m going to probably continue making commentary about the performative absurdity of fandom arguments that, were people not snugly secured hundreds of miles apart from each other behind glowing screens where they can infinitely obfuscate things with a winning circular argument, they would never have the audacity to try to pretend was logical without committing seppuku shortly after.

The latest smoking/shower/toilet thought:

I would hate to talk to most of these people in real life. Like to actually try to hold a conversation with them, even if I didn’t know they were X Fandomite, based purely on the way they hold discourse.

Because like, little thing about me. I’m autistic as fuck. I struggle with socializing and reading certain cues. But even I can objectively understand some shit people intentionally stay stupid to.

Now, I totally get like, revamping things a little bit for headcanons or fics or trying to make a more favorable interpretation that you enjoy. But generally, when I’m speaking about stuff, I’m talking about how people try to argue like they’re objectively speaking about canon while really making arguments that, were I forced to stare at someone through it in real life, I’d tune out the satire with a peanuts phone or the backdrop sound of a Giggle Stick or maybe a kazoo while my eyes glaze over waiting for them to stop doing the fandom equivalent of mansplaining shit in the opposite of common sense.

An example: People pretending they can’t tell the difference between characters taking action with intent, or people dropping witty one liners.

Whether you ship Destiel or not, listen. I don’t give a fuck what you ship, but you gotta acknowledge characters in the show rumor about it. Be that 14.01 Attached At The Everything. If you’re older than 9 you understand what the dude was implying. No, the “subtext” doesn’t leave room to interpret that angels have a secret Everything body part unique to them.

But there’s even others less about that. Like the time a fellow angel sneered at Castiel, bound in restraints, about his relationship with the Winchesters and dropped the blade to his groin. Someone out there once literally thought they were sounding any way logical going “It was just to annoy him!” Yeah, because that’s what people fucking do. Go around cutting off dude’s junk to ‘annoy them’ for no reason, and there’s no base context here that’s part of the canon about the religious zealotry whether or not it’s subtext or not. You can choose not to ship it and assume the angel is /wrong/ in this assumption. But at least try to sound half-sane in your excuses around it, because otherwise, you just sound desperate.

Like I’m not even kidding. It’s just sad at this point. If you have to act that oblivious to basic context while yelling “ALL INTERPRETATIONS ARE EQUAL” I’m going to prescribe you some basic human contact. With coronavirus a foot, skype calls will do. And if you know better and you’re disingenuously playing that oblivious that says a hell of a lot about what you /really/ think of the show content. If you would rather play Cirque du Soleil around common sense than simply jump to “well he’s probably WRONG” as your first answer, holy shit, is that a Freudian response, because odds are. You’re probably not thinking he’s wrong then, are you. And that my friend is a personal problem and one I don’t need to argue with.

On the other-other hand, people also completely missing context and characterization in the other direction as per convenience, and then choosing to take fallable dialogue as lawful decree. Like when characters are literally designed to be smug-ass motherfuckers dropping unwitty oneliners as a permanent nuisance villain building our ire just long enough that we’re there, energetically waiting for the time the motherfucker finally gets stabbed in the fucking FACE. Like somehow, people have been subject to so little-- not even books, books would help, but even TV, like they’ve lived under a rock and not watched another show in their life-- to read the basicness of it. But suddenly, common sense and context flies out the window because people who are lacking content want to contend with people and for some unearthly reason people humor their premise as part of serious discussion of the canon text.

Like, Zachariah comes to mind with that kind of example. His entire Being on the show was thinking he was a genius comedian with smug comments we’re literally designed to want to punch him in the face for over and over.

Some off the top of my head in rough-ish order-ish

"You should see my decoupage." "You're looking fit." "We want to keep you safe before showtime." "We'll throw in Mary Ann for free." "Quit hurling feces like a howler monkey, would you?" "Apocalypse is coming kiddo, to a theater near you." "The apocalypse? Poor name, bad marketing." "This isn't the first planetary enema." "Two virgins and seventy sluts." "President Palin defends bombing of houston, certainly a buyer's market in real estate. Let's see what's happening in sports!" "Wow! Running from angels. On foot! In heaven! With out of the box thinking like that I'm surprised you boys haven't stopped the apocalypse already!" "You can run, but you can't run!" "Let's brass tack this shall we?" "I see you and your brother share the same refined palate." "You are nothing but a maggot inside a worm's ass." "Who's been playing Back to the Future?"

Oh, but no, no! The SECOND this dirtbag makes some "erotically codependent" crack, people legit sit here arguing circles about this like that's some sort of textual fucking merit with any kind of *reasonable* interpretation much less jousting around in the canon arena like some kind of victors.

...

Can you IMAGINE someone staring you in the face and trying to argue that seriously while maintaining eye contact? Or pretending they can’t respectively tell what that means?

Again. Fine. Within your playspace in fandom, do whatever the hell you want. But I’m addressing the RIDICULOUS canon arguments.

And just as ridiculous as it is from one end, the utter inanity of people who CHOOSE TO ARGUE THIS SHIT IN A LOOP FOR SEVENTEEN YEARS.

I know AAD still floats around. I can’t count the number of times they’ve pointed out time and again these ancient arguments people use to shit on people’s shit, not even just in fanon but acting like they have room to argue shit in canon. What is it, the old necro arguments or vessel arguments? Jesus christ people. If you haven’t figured out how flat those are I can’t emphasize enough how little you know about this show in the scale of it. But equally Jesus Christ People, why does anyone argue with them at this point?

This can’t be a literal fandom where everyone’s more autistic and even less socially functional than I am. Like. What the fuck. Why do grown people act like this online. How can you not delete your accounts while pretending to understand so little about basic social function you’re trying to analyze in a show and argue with people about, like, honestly

Like I said: I would hate to talk to most of these people in real life.

On the other hand, I would love the chance. Please. Look me in the eye while you try to hold this discussion. I beg you.

Maybe that should be the new gauntlet. video call canon discussions where you have to maintain eye contact. All other debates or jousts about canon are irrelevant. Can we ban them? Just make people get on a skype call and see if they can maintain eye contact and keep their face on display without impulsively slamming ‘Log out’ realizing people are watching them say the shit they say.

#supernatural #spn #fandom

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