#monday again. unfuckingbelievable
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Love and Leather /part twenty eight/
Word Count: 4.7k
A/N: I said I'd update monday but i have some free time at work atm. Enjoy! Let me know what you think!
Warnings: launguage, angst...a lot of angst, vanity throwing a tantrum, drug use
Taglist: @brideofdraculana, @xstarryeyes, @aryssav, @miserablecunt, @dangerous-like-a-loaded-pistol, @inthebackofmycarlaytheirbodies, @fandomshit6000, @anntheboneless, @venus-calum, @justjodeye, @supernaturalvikingwhore, @are-we-real, @hi-my-name-is-riley, @extremesadnerding, @thatbandchick39, @awkwrdcait, @countrygirlswonderland, @dillightfulpickle, @baiabouk, @awesomealmostdopestudent, @madsthegroupie, @martabastic, @romanticvengeance, @tashy-bear, @krazykatkay456, @terror-triplet, @shouttatthedevill, @rodriguez025, @kickstart-myheart-sixx, @s-outhie, @anxious-diabetic, @awkwardblackgirls, @motlycrue, @brooklyn-antiques, @shamelessobsessions, @jerseytaint, @lilytalebi, @criminalyetminimal, @motley-queen, @trapt-in-a-dream, @lunamadhatter99, @broke-n-bitchy, @thanks2pete, @slowandangry, @lovesick-heart0, @keepcalm-and-beyou, @miriampraez, @teenwolflover28, @lilyhw1, @swoopygorl, @motherloovebone, @random-internet-user-4471, @falcon-arrows, @talranocchia2001, @wheresmyvodkabitch, @waywardprincess666, @nikkisixxsixxsixx, @iluvmesomemarvelndc, @marvelismylifffe, @zoenicoles, @pfft-halsey, @vamprlestat, @supersoldierballerina, @primal-screamer, @electradestiny, @marshbev, @n0-sh0rtage-0f-faults
“Why can’t you just not fucking talk to him! He clearly doesn’t care enough about you!” Ryan berated Vanity, who just wanted to go to bed, “Can you just shut up? Please!” Vanity yelled, rubbing her temples and feeling close to exploding on him, which she didn’t want to do.
“I just don’t fucking understand why you gotta be all over him all the fucking time!” Ryan continued to shout.
Of course, they were arguing about Nikki. They haven’t stopped arguing about Nikki since the band has gotten back from their tour. “What are you talking about! I haven’t been all over him! You’re being crazy!” Vanity shouted at him, wanting to rip her hair out as he wasn’t making sense. “Why are you so worried about Nikki!? I’m here with you, Ryan! I’m your girlfriend!” She added on, as she tried to touch his face.
“You haven’t fucking touched me, let alone gave me a kiss since we’ve gotten back! It’s been two weeks! That’s why I’m fucking irritated, just tell me it’s about him!” Ryan argued back, raising his voice, “You won’t even fucking look me in the eye, did that prick fucking do something to you!?” He questioned, stepping closer, “Answer me Vanity, if he fucking did something next time I see him, I’m going to kick his ass.” He growled, his thumb and forefinger rested against her chin as he made her look at him. Ryan noticed the tears forming in her eyes, “What did he do to you baby? Just tell me, please?” Ryan spoke softly as Vanity shook her head, her eyes looking at everything but his. “Damnit Vanity! Stop being hard headed what did that junkie fucking do to you!” He yelled, Vanity finally looked at him when he called Nikki that.
“I slept with Nikki when you were drunk.” She finally mustered up the courage to tell him. He was dumbfounded. His grasp on her jaw loosened as he backed away from her, “You had sex with him?” Ryan asked her, “It didn’t mean anything I swear to you, Ryan. It just...it just happened, it didn’t mean anything to me.” Vanity pleaded, her hand trying to reach for his face but he took a step back.
“Babe...I’m so sorry, I just...he just...I don’t know how to tell him no.“ Ryan let out a disdain laugh, “You just fucking say no!! It’s not that fucking hard!! God, why are you so hung up on this guy! He isn’t that fucking great! But yet you just open your fucking legs to him like he hasn’t done anything wrong! How can you be so damn stupid!!” Ryan continued his verbal assault on her, “I don’t know Ryan! It was just a mistake and I wish it didn’t happen!” She choked back tears, “Please baby, I’m so sorry.” Vanity begged him. Ryan ran his hand over his face in frustration.
“What does this fucking junkie do for you that I don’t? Is it cause he has money and power?” Vanity shook her head telling him no, “Cause he doesn’t fucking treat you very good from what you’ve told me, and yet you still act like a fucking slut for him.” He said, voice full of rage, “I’m not a slut.” Vanity cried, as she wiped her eyes, “Yes you fucking are! You’re just like the girls he fucks daily! God, he probably gave you some fucking disease!!” Ryan yelled at her, “How could it be so easy for you to just open your fucking legs for him! I told you I fucking love you!! And you just let me say it knowing what you did!” Ryan yelled, his face turning a crimson shade.
“I didn’t mean too.” Vanity spoke softly, “That’s bullshit, yes you fucking did, you knew exactly what you were doing.” Ryan exhaled, “We are over.” He told her, as he began to grab his belongings from her room.
“No, no baby please...I’m so sorry, it’s not gonna happen again, please Ryan?” Vanity begged for him to stay as she took his belongings out of his hands, “I want to be with you, I’m your girlfriend, please I’m so fucking sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking.” Vanity said, her hands cupping his face to make him look at her, “Please...I’ll do anything for you to stay.” Vanity said, tears still streaming down her cheeks as she looked up at him.
“Me or him.” He mumbled, “What?” Vanity questioned, “Me or him, it’s either me or him.” Vanity was confused, “What? What are you talking about” She furrowed her eyebrows as she looked at him.
“You aren’t gonna have us both! So fucking pick Vanity! It’s either me or Nikki!!” He shouted at her. Vanity was taken back, How was she just suppose to choose? Nikki was her closest friend on many different levels and Ryan was her boyfriend who she cherished deeply, “I...I..I can’t just choose.” She whispered to him, “You can’t make me fucking pick.” She said, finally finding her voice. “Well you better fucking do it now, and it better be the right one.” He threatened her, making her think of all the times Julian use to give her ultimatums.
“Ryan, nikkis my friend and-“ “A friend? He doesn’t know what the fuck a friend is! He slips you fucking drugs, yells at you, puts his hands on you and you still let him fucking touch you!” Ryan yelled, “You don’t know shit about Nikki Sixx!!” Vanity defended him, causing Ryan to scoff,
“God, you’re unfuckingbelievable! You’re so wrapped up in his little fucking game!! He could tell you water is dry and you’ll believe it!!” He shook his head, “You don’t know him like I know him, I’m the only person that’s ever given a fuck about him and he knows that! He’s just fucking hurting right now!” Vanitys voice cracked. She knew he was hurting, that’s why he had turned to heroin and she hated the thought of him feeling like that.
“You can’t make me choose Ryan, I won’t do it.” Vanity stood her ground, “Fine, go ahead and be his personal cum rag, that’s probably why he keeps you around cause he knows you’ll give it up to him whenever he asks!” Ryan screamed at her, “Fuck you! You want me to choose, fine, I choose him! So get the fuck out!” Vanity yelled opening her bedroom door, “Get out!” She said, “Whatever.” Ryan said, shoulder checking her as he walked out her bedroom door, he mumbled something but she didn’t catch it.
“If you got something to say fucking say it to my face!” She shouted as she followed him down the stairs, but he ignored her, still incoherently mumbling which only pissed her off more
“Get the fuck out of my house. “ Vanity spits with pure disgust in her voice, feeling like venom to ryan. “I mean it, get the fuck out! This is done. We are done." Ryan rolls his eyes, laughing. “Go the fuck ahead, get played by that junkie again. “ He walks towards the door, a burst of anger coasting through Vanitys’ veins. She opens the door harshly, slamming it against the wall. “Fuck you, asshole!” She shouts, pushing him out the door. Slamming the door, she locks both of the locks quickly. Almost running to the room, she begins throwing things around, almost anything she can find.
Tonya didn’t even take one step into the house when she heard the commotion going on upstairs “Fuckin’ Vanity..” She mumbles to herself, putting her belongings on the dining table, as she made her way up the stairs, “Vanity c’mon!!! It’s fucking midnight!!!” She shouts, almost pissed. She walks over to her room, viewing the broken glass, disheveled bed, and red faced Vanity. “What happened?” She asks with slight regret in her voice, knowing what she’s gotten herself into. “Why can’t anything go my fucking way!! Why do I always fall for these fucking assholes!!“ She shouts, throwing another picture frame at her wall. Tonya only rolls her eyes, though.
Tonya makes her way down the stairs, darting straight towards the phone. Dialing the number she’s had to call more often than she’d like, the phone begins the ring.
“What, I’m busy.” Nikki mumbles, Tonya rolls her eyes, hearing another girls giggle in the background. “It’s Vanity. Her and Ryan broke up i think, and I cant fucking handle it. You’re the only person who can calm her down.”
“Fucking great. On my way. “ Nikki quickly hangs up the phone, pushing his extremely high girlfriend off of him. “Going to see her, huh?” Josie spits, jealousy in her voice. “Oh, fuck off. “ Nikki grumbles, rolling his eyes. Nikki swiftly throws on the first items of clothing he finds lingering on his floor. Quickly grabbing his keys, walking out the front door not too long after, on his way to calm the brunette girl who once dreaded him down.
Nikki harshly knocks as Tonya quickly swings open the door, moving to the side so he can walk in and put an end to the hell going on upstairs. Nikki swiftly looks over at Tonya, pure annoyance on her face. Yeah, Tonya was a great friend. But fuck, did angry Vanity piss her off. What’s the point of buying nice things if Vanity is just gonna fucking destroy them?
Nikki walks up the stairs, hearing blunt force against the wall. ‘Shit, guess she ran out of glass.’ Nikki thought to himself, barely knowing what he was about to walk into. “Fucking! Asshole!” Vanity shouts, slamming a now broken lamp into her wall. Nikki walks through the hallway, seeing the lamp hit the wall. The man laughs to himself softly, shaking his head. ‘God, she definitely has got some issues.’ Nikki stands in the doorway, watching Vanity thrash the now completely broken lamp into her wall, a deep hole being hit over & over.
“You good, sweetheart?” Nikki says, leaning against her door frame. Vanity quickly looks over, almost in pure shock. She stumbles for a moment, the anger & exerted energy making her a bit lightheaded. “Do i fucking look okay?” She says harshly, finally sitting on her bed. “Wanna talk about it, or do you wanna fuck about it?” Nikki says swiftly, a smirk pulling his lips up slightly.
“Fuck you, Nikki.” Vanity grumbles, looking down at the broken glass on the floor before sitting on her bed. Nikki laughed as he walked slowly to her bed, sitting down next to her. “Well, talk to me then.“ He says softly, his hand moving to trace circles over her knee. “He..He’s a fucking asshole. He tried to make me choose you or him.”
“And i’m assuming with the situation, you chose me, right?” Nikki says, a slight chuckle in his voice. “Well, yeah! He made me fucking choose, so i’m obviously gonna choose the opposite person of who made me choose it. “ Vanity said softly, leaning into Nikki’s side. “Well, I coulda told you he was an asshole.”
“Oh fuck off.” She says, practically melting at Nikki’s touch. “Well, i’m sorry that happened. It was inevitable, though. “ He says, kissing the top of her head. “It’s whatever, nothing pans out for me the way it should. Got any coke on you?” Nikki smirks, looking down at her. “Now that’s my girl. “
Nikki shapes the lines on the nearest table to him, looking over at Van. Fuck, finally some type of high. I chose her over shooting up, so that means something i suppose.’ Nikki thought to himself, taking the first line. His eyes slightly rolling back for a moment, he shakes his head to jitter out the feeling of pure ecstasy. Vanity quickly crouches down next to him, taking the bill from his hand. Quickly taking the last two lines, she quickly shakes her head, following his actions.
“Fuck, i missed this. “ She says, almost excited. “Yeah, T-bone practically lives off of it at this point. Don’t know the last time i’ve seen him even eat. “ Nikki says smoothly, looking over at her. “No, not that Nik. Just you and I, spending time together. Doing this together, I don’t know. “
Nikki looks over at Vanity, a sweet smile on his lips. “Well I guess you could say I missed this too. It’s been too long, doll. Too fucking long. “ He says while shaping out a few more lines, making sure to not make eye contact. Nikki was never the type to be emotional. Well, he was never taught how to be sentimental or even intimate with a person. But fuck, he’s willing to learn with her. Nikki quickly snorts up two lines, Vanity snorting up the last one.
Nikki looks over at Vanity, a smirk on his lips. “Ready to fuck about it now?” Vanity chuckles to her self then motioning for him to come to her. Nikki obeyed her orders like a lost puppy, dropping to his knees in front of her bed as her legs dangled off, “Why are you men always such fucking assholes?” Vanity asked him, a laugh abruptly coming from Nikki, “Cause you girls say stupid shit.” Nikki grinned cheekily, his head bowing and kissing the top of her thighs.
“How can you just cheat on your girlfriend and not feel guilty?” Vanity questioned him, Nikki sighed in annoyance has he sat on his ankles and looked up at her, “You feel guilty for cheating on Ryan?” He clarified, receiving a nod from Vanity in return, “Do you regret it?” Nikki asked, a slight ache in his heart.
“He’s such a nice guy and he didn’t deserve it.” Vanity said, burying her head in her hands as she started crying, “I’ve never cheated on anyone! And you just waltz right back into my life after leaving yet again! How long is this gonna last this time Nikki until you leave me again!” Vanity shouted at him, taking Nikki by surprise. “I’m not leaving again princess.” Nikki coaxed her as he trailed his hands up her legs, Vanity quickly shoved them off of her as she stood up.
“So what? You’re just gonna fucking keep me on the side for when you’re junkie girlfriend doesn’t want you? And then you’ll come back to me?” Vanity spat her frustrations out at him.
“No.” Nikki spoke quietly as he twiddled with his thumbs, “Doll, do you love me?” Nikki asked as he looked up at her. His question took her by surprise as she sat back down on the bed, his eyes following every movement.
“Of course I love you Nikki! Why do you think I flew to London! You’re my best friend.” Vanity explained, but Nikki shook his head, “No...Do you love me?” Vanity furrowed her eyebrows, “Ryan said you loved me, like you use to love me.” Nikki said, clearing his throat as the uncomfortable itch for an escape started creeping up on him.
Vanity scoffed, shaking her head, “Nikki, I could never love you like that.” Her harsh truth sent a knife straight through his heart. She was the only woman in the world whose words could burn him, “We’d be so bad for each other, we would ruin one another.” Vanity whispered, her hand moving the ratty pieces of hair away from his eyes so she could see them.
“What if I told you I love you?” Nikki questioned as he cocked an eyebrow, “I would tell you not to say things you don’t mean, and that you couldn’t fulfill.” She quickly retorted, “Nikki, you don’t know anything about love.” Nikki rolled his eyes, getting slightly agitated with her, “And neither do you.” Nikkis wit was quicker then hers for once.
Nikki’s comment took her by surprise as she stared at him. He was right. She knew nothing about love either, but fuck at least she saw her parents happily married unlike the whirlwind childhood he had. She was at least exposed to love.
“I’m not leaving unless I go on tour.” Nikki reassured, his calloused fingers fiddling with hers , “I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you.” Vanity sighed as she looked down at their hands, “You always say that, and then you do it again, and again and again. I’m tired of you hurting me.” Nikki groaned, “I know what I fucking do, but you aren’t a little angel either, Vanity.” She rolled her eyes, “Me? I haven’t done anything to you.” She retorted as Nikki motioned around the room.
“I’ve had to stop what I’m doing and come here because you were having a tantrum multiple times now, like fuck I thought your brother said you went through anger management, did ya not learn anything?” Vanity looked around the room, seeing the mess she’s caused.
“And plus you brought your stupid fucking boyfriend around me, knowing what you and I have, that’s just fucking rude, Van.” Nikki said, making Vanity laugh, “Me? Rude? Okay nik.” She sighed in annoyance, “You’ve literally almost hit me, but I’m the rude one, alright pal.” Nikki was not a fan of the sarcasm he was receiving.
“Look Van, I am sorry for everything I’ve done, and probably will do in the future. I hate to admit it, but you mean the world to me.” Vanity looked at him, “And I always miss you when you’re not around, and the boys give me shit when I’m being an asshole to you.” Vanity stared at him as he was finally opening up to her, “Then how come you do what you do?” She exasperated, but all she received was a shrug, “Dunno.”
Vanity rolled her eyes, “Do you secretly hate me?” She said, trying to hide her grin, “Oh yeah, I hate you so much.” Nikki joked as he pushed her back on the bed, slowly crawling on top of her, “Matter of fact, I can’t stand you.” He said, kissing her neck, “I bet I hate you more.” Vanity said, trying to roll them over but Nikki had her wrists pin to the mattress.
He lowered his face, as their lips grazed one another, “What’s there to hate about me?” He asked, as he gave a sinful smile.
There was a light knock on her bedroom door, “Who is it!” Vanity yelled, giggling as Nikki kissed her neck again, “Its Ryan...I forgot my wallet.” Vanity quickly pushed Nikki off of her.
“I’ll get it.” Nikki said, but vanity grabbed his hand, “No, go in there.” She said shoving him to her closet door, “Seriously?” Nikki groaned as she closed the door in his face.
Vanity took a deep breath in before opening the door and let him in, “Holy shit.” Ryan was surprised at the condition of her room, “Get it and get out.” Vanity said, Ryan sighed walking over to the night stand before shoving his wallet into his back pocket.
“Can we just talk?” Vanity rolled her eyes, “I think we’ve already done that.” She told him, “Babe, common...” Vanity sighed as Ryan approached her, Nikki cursed at himself as he leaned his head against the closet door. “I told you I love you, and you act like it never happened.” He heard Ryan say, ‘Are you fucking kidding me?’ Nikki thought to himself.
“But do you still feel the same way even after I slept with him?” Vanity questioned him, Ryan was quiet for a moment, “Yeah, and that’s what’s fucking bullshit about this, I still fucking love you.”
“Like C’mon Vanity, you’re really gonna choose a junkie over me? You said it’s not the money he has, but are you sure?” Vanity groaned, as she was beginning to grow frustrated.
“It isn’t about his fucking money! Just fucking drop it! I don’t fucking talk about your stupid friends like that.” Vanity shouted, getting all worked up over again.
“If you’re friends are so great then how come I just had to bail one of them out a fucking month ago? Or how come one of them had to fucking crash at your place because he hit is fucking wife!! You’re life isn’t so fucking perfect either, Ryan!” He smirked as he watched her get wild up.
“You get so defensive when I bring him up.” Ryan stated, “Because there’s no reason to keep bringing him up! At all! There’s none! There’s different things we could argue you about, but noooo you just want to talk about Nikki fucking Sixx!!!” She screamed, grabbing yet another picture frame and throwing it at the wall.
Nikki’s eyes went wide when he heard the glass shatter, knowing he should intervene but that would just cause a whole other fiasco.
“You’re really gonna fucking choose that piece of shit over me!! Are you kidding me?! God, how naive are you?” Vanity furrowed her eyebrows when he called her that, he might as well called her a cunt.
“I am not!” She shouted, Ryan laughed, “Yes you fucking are! You’re naive because of the sheltered childhood you had!! You’re still a spoiled, self-centered, born with a silver spoon in their mouth brat!!”
“I am not fucking naive!” Vanity repeated, “Yes you are!! You know nothing about the real world and if you did you would know guys like Nikki are nothing but bad fucking news that will drag you down with them! He’s a fucking junkie, he sleeps with countless woman and you’re on that list too! You think just because he tells you those sweet things in the midst of it that it means anything to him! News flash! It doesn’t!” Ryan shouted, as her eyes were pooling with tears.
“Get out.” Vanity said quietly, looking at the corner of the room. A vase of flowers she always kept in her room for when she was feeling like this. ‘A two dollar vase is easier to replace then a picture frame I’ve had for years’ she thought to herself.
“Don’t fucking come running back to me when he hurts you...again!” Ryan yelled, before storming out of her room and slamming the door.
Vanity was trembling in rage, seeing nothing but red at this point. Nikki had walked out of the closet at the wrong time because the vase had came barreling at him.
“Get out of my house!!” Vanity screamed bloody murder at him, actually scaring him for once. Nikki’s eyes went wide, knowing that he was the cause of her rage, “Doll...just calm down.” Nikki said hesitantly stepping closer, noticing how her fists were balled at her sides. “Nikki, don’t come any fucking closer to me.” She warned him, bending down and grabbing a shard of glass and pointing it at him.
“You’re gonna hurt yourself, just stop.” Nikki quickly grabbed her wrist and hand that was clutching the weapon, “Fuck you!! It’s all your fault!!” Vanity yelled, punching him in the chest as Nikki wrangled her to the bedroom floor.
“Stop!!” Nikki shouted in her face, growing angry with her, “You aren’t gonna fucking do anything but lay here and calm down!!” Nikki yelled, sitting in between her legs and holding her arms down.
He has never seen her this angry, and quite frankly he didn’t like it. He didn’t like knowing that she had this much anger pent up inside. “Get off of me!” She yelled trying to move but the death grip he had on her arms was not helping.
“Shut up and be quiet!!” Nikki yelled back as Tonya and Lucia opened the door to see the two on the floor, “She’s loosing her god damn mind!!” Nikki yelled at them, “I...i don’t know what to do!” He added on, looking at them for guidance.
“We can call her mom..” Lucia suggested, “I swear to god I will fucking kill you!!” Vanity yelled, “Don’t fucking call her!!”
“Call her.” Nikki demanded, getting fed up with her temper tantrum, if he had to talk her herself he would.
“Fuck you, you stupid junkie I wish I never met you!!” Vanity spat, while literally spitting in his direction, “Stop it!” Tonya said, “You don’t mean that!” Vanity let out a bitter laugh, “Oh yes I fucking do.”
Nikki became quiet as he continued to hold her down to the carpet, “Why do you fuck with me! Why can’t you do it to some other bitch you fuck!”
“Hi...Mrs. Blackwood it’s Lucia, Vanity is freaking out and we can’t calm her down.”
“Oh you stupid bitch!!” Vanity screamed, as her nails started clawing into Nikki’s hands.
“Yeah I’ll put you on speaker..”
“Vanity Kay Blackwood what the hell are you doing?”
“You’re terrorizing your fucking roommates.”
Vanity looked at the phone as she heard her mom cuss, and her mom never does that.
“Do I need to have them take you to the hospital for an over night hold?”
Vanity was quiet, trying to calm herself down as Nikki felt the tension in her arms subside.
“Do I?” Her mom repeated herself, “I’m fine.”
“Okay, now clean up whatever you broke and go the hell to bed. Stop acting like a god damn banshee and apologize to whoever is there.” Vanity groaned.
“Now, Vanity.”
“I’m sorry for freaking out and breaking things.” Vanity looked at her fed up roommates, “I love you?” Vanity slyly said with a laugh, “Ugh!” Tonya yelled, throwing up her arms in frustration before walking out of the room.
“Sounds like you’ve done this more then once.” Vanity giggled as she wiped sweat from her forehead, “Maybe.”
“She broke a tv once.” Lucia chimed in, “on Christmas.” Lucia and Vanity looked at one another and started cracking up in hysterics
“She did that once before when she was a teenager, that’s why we ended up bolting the TVs to the wall.” Vanitys Mom joined in on the laughter.
“I’m gonna go mom, I’m fine okay. I love you.” Vanity breathed a fresh of breath air as she sat up and looked at Nikki, who seemed rather irritated with her. “Alright sweetie, goodnight.”
Nikki watched as Vanity hung up the phone and handed it back to Lucia, “Thanks.” She mumbled as she got up and began picking up the broken glass that filled her floor. “Now, I’m going to bed, behave yourself.” Lucia said to Vanity, but gave Nikki a warning as well.
“I’m sorry I was thinking about stabbing you.” She mumbled, refusing to look at Nikki as she threw the glass in a waste basket and fixed her bed.
“You need to talk to someone about all that.” Nikki replied, making her laugh as she got under the covers, “Are you staying?” She asked, hoping he would say yes.
“I’m gonna use the bathroom.” Nikki spat out randomly, “Okay?” Vanity says, confused.
Nikki went to the bathroom quickly locking the door and leaning against it. He dug into his front pocket pulling out a pre loaded syringe of heroin. He smacked his veins on his left arm but they weren’t popping up, “oh c’mon.” He groaned, simultaneously undoing his belt from his leather pants, tightening it around his bicep.
Nikki sighed as the euphoria entered his system. He looked into the mirror, also disgusted with himself as he tossed the needle into the trash can. ‘That should hold me over for a few hours, I can probably sneak off after she’s asleep.’
Nikki walked back into the bedroom, pulling off his shirt and pants before crawling into bed beside her.
Vanity turned on her side and faced him, her fingers running down his sculpted jaw, “I’m sorry you heard the stuff he said about you.” Nikki shook his head, his hand laying against her lower back, pulling her closer to him, “It’s nothing new doll, but I’m gonna agree with him...you can be naive at times.” Nikki expressed his concerns, “It’s not like I take advantage of it, but you can be pretty naive sometimes.” Vanity sighed, getting upset, and he knew it.
“Just relax alright, it’s cute that you have the innocent thing going on.” Nikki said, giving her a quick, but sweet kiss on the lips.
“Nikki, I am anything but innocent.”
#the dirt#the dirt fanfic#the dirt imagine#motley crue#motley crue fanfic#motley crue imagine#nikki sixx#nikki sixx fanfic#nikki sixx imagine#douglas booth! nikki sixx#douglas booth! nikki sixx fanfic#1980s#rock n roll#fanfiction#stories#writing#my idea#my story
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Entry 18: 07/10/19 @ 3:42 p.m.
I’m at work on the patio.
So I have a lot of crappy news to talk about. These last few days havent been very great. Last Tuesday I woke up with some strange sharp pain on my right collarbone but the pain would only come if I inhaled. I dismissed it, thinking maybe that I had slept weird and it would pass. Wednesday, it moved to my left collarbone and I knew it was too much of a coincendence to be a strain but I still ignored it. Thursday I felt no pain until the evening when my waist started feeling a bit sore. It wasnt a sharp pain but more like the soreness you get from working out. I’m a server and work at least 40 hours a week so I figured my body just felt tired like usual. Friday I woke up around 3 a.m. in sooo much pain. It felt like someone stabbed my ribs, I could barely move without screaming. I eventually fell back asleep and then called out of work when I got up. When I explained to the manager that I was going to the hospital for unexplainable pain, he told me he had my morning covered but he fully expected me to be there that night for dinner shift. I hung up and was very upset at the lack of concern he had for my well-being. I didn’t have any money to get a lyft to the hospital and texted my mom and best friends’ mom for ten bucks. My best friends mom didnt get back to me that day but my mom was able to cash app me. I called my job and spoke with another manager, updating him on my situation and that I would keep him posted. When I got there, I was seen right away because there was no line. The doctor immediately knew I had Pleurisy.
From what I understand its a viral infection that inflames the protective lining of your lungs. The lining is suposed to protect your lungs and make sure they expand smoothly against your ribcage. When the lung gets inflammed, it creates friction. That friction was what I was feeling everytime I inhaled. The doctor gave me a 800mg ibeprofen and kept me there for an hour to see if it helped. It worked very slightly but I was still in pain and breathing shallow. He perscribed me the ibeprofen and instructed me to stay home that night and the next day. I called my job and a third manager picked up. I updated him and let him know that I had to stay home. He was very upset about it and then we hung up.
Saturday morning, I get a text from my bestfriends’ mom. It was her husband telling me that she was in the hospital and thats why I didnt get a call back but that he would still send me the money if I needed it. He was concerned about me as well. I told him what happened and that I was ok and didnt need the money. Then I asked him if mom (I call her mom because she took me in and is eveything to me) was ok and he said he didnt know. That she had tried to overdose on Xanax. I was in shock and told him I was so sorry and that I wanted to come see her. I asked for her number and expressed my convern for him and my little sister. He said she was fine and that they told her that mom just needed help feeling happy and that she would be home soon. My heart was heavy and I cried for hours. I ended up talking to my best friend and we got high on the phone and cried together. Neither of us had talked to mom because we didnt want to upset her with our emotions.
Sunday morning, I was still in pain but not as much as the day before. When I got to work, I realized that I wasnt ready for it. I couldnt walk very fast or I would get winded because of all my shallow breathing. Talking was very short and limited or very strained and exhausting. My coworkers kept asking me if I was ok and wondering why I was so quiet. I felt like shit and the more I worked the worse the pain would get until I had to stop every two minutes to catch my breath. I started talking to coworkers and asking if anyone wanted to pick up my shift. No one could because they were all doubles so I went to my boss and told her I couldnt breath. She immediately told me that I had to go home and stopped me from trying to find people to cover my shift. She told me I was fine.
The guy that picked me up drove like a fucking maniac and added to the horrish pain I would eventually feel when I got home. It felt like he was tossing me around in the back seat with a thousand knives around me and I was too winded to speak up. Then when I got home, I dropped everything on the floor and tried to sit on the couch but couldnt even sit. It was too painful to move. I literally had to keep my torso perfectly straight and spread my legs to lower myself onto the couch. I could not use my abs AT ALL or I would trigger a sharp pain and scream. I eventually took a shower and stayed on the couch for the remainder of the evening. Going to bed was a thirty minute process. Just finding the right angle to lower myself and figuring out what movements I had to make for the least painful experience was exhausting. My sleep was rough and uncomfortable.
I had monday off (thankfully) and still had a considerable amount of pain but felt much better. Spent the day relaxing and catering to myself and body.
Tuesday (yesterday) I felt GREAT. Hardly any pain and no laborous talking. I went in to work and people were happy to see me and happy that I was back…I realized that I was happy too. Not because of my job but because holy shit I finally felt close to normal again. Everything was going great, we had a slight pop and I was in my groove. Then the mid-manager comes in (the one that was upset about me not coming in over the weekend) and askes me how I was feeling and without letting me answer comments, disappointedly, on how I called out again on Sunday. I looked at him and said that I had to, I couldnt breathe and he scoffed at me. I then told him that I did come Sunday and tried but left early and he just walked away and didnt say anything. I continued to take care of my tables but his comments were in the front of my mind, They were really bothering me! So as soon as I found a monet to talk, I pulled him aside to speak in private. I told him that I didnt appreciate his comment earlier, that it was insensitive. I tried my best and still came in despite my condition. I missed out on at least 300 dollars over the weekend and noe had a 200 dollar hospital bill to pay without insurance. He somewhat sympathized and agreed that he was maybe a little insensitive. I said it was alright and he proceeded to tell me about one of my coworkers and how they have been working for two weeks with rib pain. Then I told him that he had nothing to do withme and that it my pain was different. It was my lung and I explained what the doctor told me about Pleurisy. He listened and acknowleged that he might have been insensitive but then told me about how he was at work for a whole week once with kidney stones. Again, I told him that his stones have nothing to do with my long and that he was downplaying my situation. He then someowhat agreed with me and we ened the conversation. i thought we were good and it was over but he follwed me to the bar and told me that earlier he was just asking me a question and he wasnt being rude. I reiterated what he said and how and told him that he was expressing disappointment. He then denied it and reitarated a version of his “question” with the same words and nicer tone. I told him that yes he did say that but not in the form of a question and not nicely. He continued to go back and forth with me and I stopped him saying that I wasnt trying to argue with him. He wouldnt let it go so I told him he was being defensive and he told me he wasnt and started trying to fight with me about being defensive. I told him that this was dumb and that I wasnt going to argue. He cut me off and said it was dumb and it was dumb for me to bring it up in the first place. Then (yelling) told me that I had the resturant in a disarray for no reason. He said this while walking away from me and by guests, making sure he was heard. I yelled back “I’m so sorry Jason that you had a hole in your floor for three days because I was in the hospital, you asshole!”. He then went to our boss and started talking shit and then immediately after went up to the hostesses telling them that he didnt care that I felt like he was being insensitive. I couldnt believe that this MANAGER was acting like a stupid like fucking child and causing a scene.
The worst part of this all is that my boss was on his side and basically told me that I was being emotional and that Jason didnt mean anything by it. Hes just a very black and white person and thats what got him the job in the first place. UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE!!!!!! I didnt even argue back because I’m so done witht his place. I’m offically fucking numb. I’m just going to work on getting my car and then line up a better job so that I cant quit. I’m not even going to tell them, I’ll just not call and block them. Fuck these bitches.
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Entry 18: 07/10/19 @ 3:42 p.m.
I’m at work on the patio.
So I have a lot of crappy news to talk about. These last few days havent been very great. Last Tuesday I woke up with some strange sharp pain on my right collarbone but the pain would only come if I inhaled. I dismissed it, thinking maybe that I had slept weird and it would pass. Wednesday, it moved to my left collarbone and I knew it was too much of a coincendence to be a strain but I still ignored it. Thursday I felt no pain until the evening when my waist started feeling a bit sore. It wasnt a sharp pain but more like the soreness you get from working out. I’m a server and work at least 40 hours a week so I figured my body just felt tired like usual. Friday I woke up around 3 a.m. in sooo much pain. It felt like someone stabbed my ribs, I could barely move without screaming. I eventually fell back asleep and then called out of work when I got up. When I explained to the manager that I was going to the hospital for unexplainable pain, he told me he had my morning covered but he fully expected me to be there that night for dinner shift. I hung up and was very upset at the lack of concern he had for my well-being. I didn’t have any money to get a lyft to the hospital and texted my mom and best friends’ mom for ten bucks. My best friends mom didnt get back to me that day but my mom was able to cash app me. I called my job and spoke with another manager, updating him on my situation and that I would keep him posted. When I got there, I was seen right away because there was no line. The doctor immediately knew I had Pleurisy.
From what I understand its a viral infection that inflames the protective lining of your lungs. The lining is suposed to protect your lungs and make sure they expand smoothly against your ribcage. When the lung gets inflammed, it creates friction. That friction was what I was feeling everytime I inhaled. The doctor gave me a 800mg ibeprofen and kept me there for an hour to see if it helped. It worked very slightly but I was still in pain and breathing shallow. He perscribed me the ibeprofen and instructed me to stay home that night and the next day. I called my job and a third manager picked up. I updated him and let him know that I had to stay home. He was very upset about it and then we hung up.
Saturday morning, I get a text from my bestfriends’ mom. It was her husband telling me that she was in the hospital and thats why I didnt get a call back but that he would still send me the money if I needed it. He was concerned about me as well. I told him what happened and that I was ok and didnt need the money. Then I asked him if mom (I call her mom because she took me in and is eveything to me) was ok and he said he didnt know. That she had tried to overdose on Xanax. I was in shock and told him I was so sorry and that I wanted to come see her. I asked for her number and expressed my convern for him and my little sister. He said she was fine and that they told her that mom just needed help feeling happy and that she would be home soon. My heart was heavy and I cried for hours. I ended up talking to my best friend and we got high on the phone and cried together. Neither of us had talked to mom because we didnt want to upset her with our emotions.
Sunday morning, I was still in pain but not as much as the day before. When I got to work, I realized that I wasnt ready for it. I couldnt walk very fast or I would get winded because of all my shallow breathing. Talking was very short and limited or very strained and exhausting. My coworkers kept asking me if I was ok and wondering why I was so quiet. I felt like shit and the more I worked the worse the pain would get until I had to stop every two minutes to catch my breath. I started talking to coworkers and asking if anyone wanted to pick up my shift. No one could because they were all doubles so I went to my boss and told her I couldnt breath. She immediately told me that I had to go home and stopped me from trying to find people to cover my shift. She told me I was fine.
The guy that picked me up drove like a fucking maniac and added to the horrish pain I would eventually feel when I got home. It felt like he was tossing me around in the back seat with a thousand knives around me and I was too winded to speak up. Then when I got home, I dropped everything on the floor and tried to sit on the couch but couldnt even sit. It was too painful to move. I literally had to keep my torso perfectly straight and spread my legs to lower myself onto the couch. I could not use my abs AT ALL or I would trigger a sharp pain and scream. I eventually took a shower and stayed on the couch for the remainder of the evening. Going to bed was a thirty minute process. Just finding the right angle to lower myself and figuring out what movements I had to make for the least painful experience was exhausting. My sleep was rough and uncomfortable.
I had monday off (thankfully) and still had a considerable amount of pain but felt much better. Spent the day relaxing and catering to myself and body.
Tuesday (yesterday) I felt GREAT. Hardly any pain and no laborous talking. I went in to work and people were happy to see me and happy that I was back...I realized that I was happy too. Not because of my job but because holy shit I finally felt close to normal again. Everything was going great, we had a slight pop and I was in my groove. Then the mid-manager comes in (the one that was upset about me not coming in over the weekend) and askes me how I was feeling and without letting me answer comments, disappointedly, on how I called out again on Sunday. I looked at him and said that I had to, I couldnt breathe and he scoffed at me. I then told him that I did come Sunday and tried but left early and he just walked away and didnt say anything. I continued to take care of my tables but his comments were in the front of my mind, They were really bothering me! So as soon as I found a monet to talk, I pulled him aside to speak in private. I told him that I didnt appreciate his comment earlier, that it was insensitive. I tried my best and still came in despite my condition. I missed out on at least 300 dollars over the weekend and noe had a 200 dollar hospital bill to pay without insurance. He somewhat sympathized and agreed that he was maybe a little insensitive. I said it was alright and he proceeded to tell me about one of my coworkers and how they have been working for two weeks with rib pain. Then I told him that he had nothing to do withme and that it my pain was different. It was my lung and I explained what the doctor told me about Pleurisy. He listened and acknowleged that he might have been insensitive but then told me about how he was at work for a whole week once with kidney stones. Again, I told him that his stones have nothing to do with my long and that he was downplaying my situation. He then someowhat agreed with me and we ened the conversation. i thought we were good and it was over but he follwed me to the bar and told me that earlier he was just asking me a question and he wasnt being rude. I reiterated what he said and how and told him that he was expressing disappointment. He then denied it and reitarated a version of his “question” with the same words and nicer tone. I told him that yes he did say that but not in the form of a question and not nicely. He continued to go back and forth with me and I stopped him saying that I wasnt trying to argue with him. He wouldnt let it go so I told him he was being defensive and he told me he wasnt and started trying to fight with me about being defensive. I told him that this was dumb and that I wasnt going to argue. He cut me off and said it was dumba nd it was dumb for me to bring it up in the first place. Then (yelling) told me that I had the resturant in a disarray for no reason. He said this while walking away from me and by guests, making sure he was heard. I yelled back “I’m so sorry Jason that you had a hole in your floor for three days because I was in the hospital, you asshole!”. He then went to our boss and started talking shit and then immediately after went up to the hostesses telling them that he didnt care that I felt like he was being insensitive. I couldnt believe that this MANAGER was acting like a stupid like fucking child and causing a scene.
The worst part of this all is that my boss was on his side and basically told me that I was being emotional and that Jason didnt mean anything by it. Hes just a very black and white person and thats what got him the job in the first place. UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE!!!!!! I didnt even argue back because I’m so done witht his place. I’m offically fucking numb. I’m just going to work on getting my car and then line up a better job so that I cant quit. I’m not even going to tell them, I’ll just not call and block them. Fuck these bitches.
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