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kentuckywrites · 2 years

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Imperium 3: Chapter 5

Amor intra astra. (Love within the stars.)

TW // suicidal ideation.

Why are you so surprised? Did you really think my name was Mira even before humans arrived?

Starr shook his head. “N-No, not necessarily. We suppose it was just hard to believe you had any other name because of how prevalent it is in our lives.”

Yeah, no worries. I never said anything about it because I liked the name. Or, well, I liked it enough not to complain about it. Anyways, before humans named me Mira, before this planet even existed, my name was Aidoneus. I was what you would call…well, we never really gave ourselves a species name. We simply were, and that was enough. For your purposes, however, I was a being comprised entirely of ether. I could tell you all about the logistics of that, but for now, let me show you the form I usually took.

Starr’s vision went glossy as his mind shifted, the darkness taking on new form. He closed his eyes, finding that keeping them open only blurred the new image that had appeared. This was space, this was the stars and colorful cosmos that graced Mira’s skies at night, but blown into new proportions. Starr felt like he was floating, though he remained seated on the cold cavern ground. Out of the corner of his eye, a little ball of light floated in front of him, white in hue. There was a symbol in the middle of it, too, something akin to a spiked draconic tail, though Starr failed to get a better look at it before the cloud changed shape. Sprouting from the mass were a pair of arms, a pair of legs, a pair of intricately designed wings, two massive horns and pointed ears.

“It looks like when it fused with L’Cirufe. A little bit, anyways.”

The Disgrace commented quietly. Starr scowled, looking to his right, realizing that he was actually sitting next to him in this mindscape. He had to agree with the sentiment, however. It wasn’t hard to spot the inspiration Mira used - wait, no. Mira? Should Starr call it Aidoneus now? He supposed that was a question for the future, after he’d heard the full story.

With a full form realized, Aidoneus turned towards the Disgrace, towards Starr. Its eyes shifted, eerily similar to theirs in nature. Pupiless, colors swirling within them, a showcase of life beyond the surface. One moment they were like the Disgrace’s, indigo skies full of stars and shattered dreams, and in the next moment they were white and shiny like Mira’s, and in the next moment they were green then red then blue. The cosmos remained the same throughout it all, and in certain transitions, it was like Starr was looking through them, through Aidoneus’s body and straight through to the galaxy behind it. That feeling gave way to something he couldn’t quite describe, though he tried to find the right words. Not quite envy, not quite jealousy, not quite sadness. A tugging at his soul, perhaps, that this was the form Mira had always wanted to take, and by extension, Starr wanted the same thing. Just like how the Disgrace’s desires permeated through his being, though this felt more real to him, more connected. Was it because he wanted the same thing? To inhabit a body that was more natural, not forced upon him so quickly?

The cosmos broke apart beyond the Disgrace, and a second figure began to float towards Aidoneus. This one was more blue and green, bright and consistent, though in many ways their body resembled Aidoneus’s. Rings swirled around their temple, a star-shaped crest atop their forehead. Their limbs were long, with some disconnects between the joints filled with light and stardust. Aidoneus locked eyes with the newcomer, and something in its expression softened with memory, intertwined with Mira’s continued explanation.

For a long time, I explored the universe on my own. But there came a time where I stumbled across one of my own kind. A rare occurrence, you see, so I treasured this interaction for millenia to come. We had no need for names back then, so I did not know it for a long time. We simply talked in song, and it just…it felt right. Like we were always meant to meet, to travel with each other. To live out the rest of our days together.

Space jumped forward, rushing past all of the stars and constellations until a new silhouette appeared on the horizon. A planet, yes, it was a planet. It was far too dim to be a star, at least, though the surface burned bright with magma. The heat was enough to reach Starr, who bristled underneath its oppressive weight.

You see, our kind have a goal. A life purpose, if you will. As beings composed of the essence of life, we thought our ultimate goal would be to give life to a new planet. We had stumbled across a failed attempt at this. We could feel the remnants of one of our kind within this planet, so freshly formed. We had no idea what happened, but we could harbor a guess. We loved creating answers to impossible questions like that.

The two figures glanced at each other, downcast. Starr could feel it too, the knowledge that someone had failed, the knowledge that they had found a graveyard for someone’s broken dreams. To have come so far, yet come up so short…

I thought we would move on, after watching this burning planet for a few years. But…but she had an idea. Before I could stop her, she flew down to the planet…and she became it. Gave new life to it.

On cue, the second figure descended to the planet, losing her humanoid form along the way. She disappeared below its surface, and Aidoneus was alone again.

I think we were both surprised it worked, though she was so excited about it. She kept telling me her plans for this world, even gave it a name. She wanted me to call her by that name, but…but it did not feel right. That was the name of the planet, not her name. I told her that much, and she decided then and there that we would give each other a name. Something to call each other, something that we would never forget even when I had to move on. She called me Aidoneus. I had a hard time deciding, so I gave her two names. Persei. Kore. She liked them both.

The universe zoomed past them once more, with Aidoneus staying by Starr and the Disgrace. Another planet came into view, less fiery than the first. Aidoneus descended upon it in the same manner that Kore had flown to her planet. Like a timelapse, the surface of this planet became immediately familiar - this was Mira, the Mira that Starr loved.

There came a point where I had to move on. I had to fulfill the same goal, and I could not do it if I stayed. She wished me luck, and off I went. I eventually gave life to my own planet. Created thousands of species for it, from the tiniest dronefly to the largest millesaur. I even formed the F’lenla A’slegn, a race of humanoids that…that reminded me of her. Her ideal form. I was proud of myself, but I missed her. I missed her terribly.

Now, Starr saw Mira - Primordia. The city of NLA was gone, or rather, it hadn’t made its crash landing at this point in the timeline. Indigens wandered the landscape freely, unafraid of human interference in their daily lives. Aidoneus, in its non-humanoid form, floated above it all, and though it didn’t possess a face to communicate it, Starr could feel its longing, its pain, its sorrow.

For far too long, I was alone. I sought solace in the life I had given, but that was not enough. Even L’Cirufe was a temporary measure, an excuse to speak again with someone I wanted to consider a friend. But I was greedy. I hurt him. So I distanced myself again, until…

Then, Aidoneus tilted its form towards the sky, and there was the White Whale, the crash, the descent of NLA. Flames consumed the world with each bit of rubble that came tumbling down to the planet’s surface. Aidoneus backed up, unable to watch, yet Starr remained focused on the event that would lead to the Disgrace’s conception, the very thing that started it all.

Then, humans came. I could sense Kore’s ether on them, and at once, I knew why they were here. She was gone. Her children had found their way to me, through some twisted act of the divine. I could practically hear Persei’s voice, telling me to take care of them. And so, I was given a new excuse to take shape - though, you know what happens from there.

“You created me,” The Disgrace whispered, “You created me so you would have a way to join them. Take care of them.”

You were always meant to be a guide, but never one with this much self autonomy. I was supposed to inhabit your body, after all. And yet, I was too late, and humans tore into me. I…I felt betrayed, in a way. How could the children Persei created hurt me so badly? The more I thought about it, the more I began to wonder if this was what she wanted them to act like. To destroy everything they touched - destroy ME. I just…

“You were angry, and rightfully so,” Starr concluded, “But you should not fault yourself for how they acted. We doubt this was the will Kore wished to enact upon you.”

…I would have deserved it. For leaving her. Not being there for her.

At that confession, that descent into self depreciation, Starr found himself growing tense. The Disgrace looked down at his hands, unable to meet anyone’s gaze, and that pushed Starr to the very edge.

“You both created us to heal from your wounds,” He growled, his knuckles turning white the further he pushed his fingers into his palms, “If there is anything we have learned from our short existence, it is that your mistakes do not define you. You are allowed to heal, just as we have strived to do. It became our burden, forced upon us by both of you, to heal in your stead. Do not tell us that it was for nothing.”

Silence.

…Pongo?

The Disgrace finally looked up at Mira - Aidoneus - and there they were, the tears in the corners of his eyes. Starr stared daggers into his pathetic little form until he finally dared to speak. Even then, they were words Starr didn’t want to hear.

“So I was a failure in more ways than one. Maybe it would be better if I let you take control of this body completely, so I could just…”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Starr screamed, standing up, towering over the Disgrace. He shriveled back in his spot, eyes widening at this outburst. “You coward, you absolute fucking coward, why are you so quick to deny this gift of life?! Why are you so quick to run and hide from the people you call your friends, your family?! Do you have any idea how much they miss you?! Look at us, look at Mira - Mira let you live. It never once tried to erase you, because guess what? MIRA LOVES YOU. MIRA LOVES WHO YOU BECAME. We exist purely because Mira could not bear to see you suffer, and you repay that kindness by saying you want to forfeit your right to exist?! You greedy, selfish, BASTARD!!”

Starr gasped, realizing that he’d used his voice to its fullest extent. The words burned in his throat, raspy and pained. The Disgrace was frozen to his spot, and Mira didn’t dare to utter a word. Instead, the image around them faded, and Starr was back in the cavern, heaving from how furious he’d become. Though he was physically alone again, Mira’s voice echoed through his mind, a reminder that he still had something to turn to.

You were not a mistake. I promise.

“Just tell me how you defeated Corvhesperikon and Syriahnydra.” Starr spat, sitting back down at the water’s edge. “That is why you told us about your past, no? Because Aidoneus was there to help defeat the two yggraliths?”

…I was there. I took the second form you saw, the one that was more humanoid…at least, for a while.

“What do you mean, a while? What happened?”

I weakened both yggraliths considerably in that ideal form, but it was not enough. I got desperate. I…I asked someone for a favor.

“Stop being vague. What did you do.”

…Did you really think that Froyoyo, an ordinary mortal Nopon, was able to slay two yggraliths on his own?

“Vanala was there,” Starr reasoned, frowning.

Vanala pitched in to make it possible. He agreed to the fusion, and our strength combined was enough to take them down.

“...You fused with a Nopon?” Despite the severity of the situation, Starr couldn’t help but chuckle at the mental image. It still left a variety of questions, ones that he knew he’d have to ask in order to understand better, but for now he took solace in his laughter, as subdued as it was.

Oh come on, I do not discriminate in the face of an apocalyptic event. Yes, I fused with Froyoyo. With the help of Vanala, we defeated both yggraliths. And when I left, Froyoyo had been…blessed, so to speak. I had left a small part of my ether within his body, not enough that he had access to any sort of powers, but enough that he never aged.

“You made Froyoyo immortal?!” Starr was shocked at this revelation, yet in the back of his mind, he knew it made sense. There was no way that The Tale of Two Gods, the story Froyoyo loved to recite to his littlepon every night before bed, had taken place during his lifespan. Corvhesperikon’s bones had even suggested that its body had rotted away over the course of centuries, though how could you accurately estimate a yggralith’s life cycle?

Well, yes, but…but he went into it thinking that he would die afterwards. You see, my kind are unable to fuse with organic creatures. It leaves us without any sense of self, and in the slim chance both the host and the entity survive, we would wander aimlessly looking for a way to end the pain. My fusion with Froyoyo was a last ditch effort. I cannot say for certain, but I believe Vanala was the one to successfully separate us and keep us whole. I was weakened for a very long time afterwards. I only got my strength back just in time to fuse with L’Cirufe to stop the war.

“You did not learn, did you?” Starr said, “L’Cirufe is an organic creature, too. What did that do to you?”

I think that is a story for another time.

Mira’s statement seemed final, a hard stop to Starr’s series of questions probing into its past. Starr wasn’t too bothered by the need to change topics; Mira’s fusion with L wasn’t relevant to their predicament in the present day.

“So how do we defeat Corvhesperikon now?” He asked, “Must you fuse with Froyoyo again?”

Well, no. Contradictory to your question before, I did learn, and I refuse to put him through that pain again. Vanala is too weak to go through with another healing ritual for him.

“Then who must you fuse w…with…” Starr trailed off. He knew the answer, didn’t he? The way to save everyone?

Despite being a fusion of myself and Pongo, your body is still entirely mechanical. Combined with the fact that you are comprised of miranium, my favored material, you would be the perfect host. Not organic, and not susceptible to the horrors Froyoyo and L’Cirufe had to endure.

Starr was quiet. It was the Disgrace’s self-sacrificing nature that began to speak for him, at first, the need to put himself in harm’s way to keep everyone else safe. Starr nearly agreed with that line of thought, especially since it would spare those around him from a gruesome fate. But at the same time, Mira’s memories began to resurface, dredged up from the depths of its mind, and Starr could see the monsters in the surface of the water. The thing Froyoyo had become, screaming and screeching as it hurled attack after brutal attack, almost mindless in nature. The twisted form L’Cirufe took, flying high above a wartorn planet, fires encasing the land as he smiled with sharpened fangs stained in blood - the blood of his people, the blood of the people Mira had painstakingly created. And then, there was…

There was Starr.

Not the Starr he was, no. The Starr that the Ganglion had transformed into a Telethia, the Starr that ravaged Cocytios in a blind rage. Was that rage really blind at all, or did he know the rage before Mira and the Disgrace fused? Did he know that this was his destiny? Would it be his destiny once more?

Saddened, burdened by everything he was and everything he was fated to be, Starr sniffled. He was allowed to cry, he knew that, but he was already so tired. Why, why did he have to be the answer? Why couldn’t he just live?

“...We save Vanala first.” Starr decided, lifting his mask to wipe his tears with his hands, “Then, if it will end things…if it means we can live in peace…”

I will make it quick.

“You better.” He sighed, standing himself up once more. “Thank you for telling us, though. At least now, we are assured that there is a means to -”

The walls suddenly shook as something crashed against the mountainside, a force powerful enough to nearly knock Starr back down to the ground. He managed to maintain his balance just as an earsplitting screech echoed throughout the cavern, forcing his hands to his ears to block out the sound. When it finally resided, he looked up to the ceiling, and he felt his heart sink to the bottom of his stomach.

Their time was up.

#xenoblade x #Imperium 3: Chapter 5 #mmmmm delicious juicy mira lore #special shoutout to lune for the ether entity lore #that was very helpful and definitely doesn't have any implications for Mira's sanity :3 #anyways MORE ACTION NEXT CHAPTER HEHE

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