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dollidot · 2 months

Text

to love another is to lose yourself

a mizu x akemi fic inspired by this post !!

warnings: (non-visual) depiction of vomiting, thoughts of cheating

contains/tags: hanahaki disease, akemi's pov, hopeless lesbians, flower shop au, taigen gets fucked over but it's fine he'll live, no beta we die like men

a/n: once more to see you by mitski for extra brainrot

akemi didn't want to believe it when the first flower came. or rather, the first petal. it was a dainty thing, pale pink in the porcelain of the bathtub. she had cried for at least an hour, holding the pathetic little petal in her hands, pondering why this had to happen to her now, when she'd just gotten engaged to who she thought was the love of her life. and why it has to be because of her, nonetheless.

when mizu begins working at akemi's flower shop, they seem to get along well, like a house on fire. mizu is everything akemi isn't, and it's a good focal point for conversations when work feels slow. mizu is nothing akemi has ever seen before, and it gives her a sense of allurement, something about her that seems to attract people to her like moths to a flame.

she was tall, for a start, taller than akemi, almost as tall as taigen. and her eyes, oh her eyes. a shade of blue that doesn't appear in nature except to warn one of danger, and if anything it makes her even more attractive. she had intricately inked arms and her tongue flashed when she spoke, a glimpse of silver against the pink of her tongue. her hair, black as ink, was always tied into a bun, but that single curl that fell over her left eye proved to be fatal. she was so insanely gorgeous, it made akemi feel sick. it filled her with a saccharine ache in her stomach, like she'd been drinking pure sugar syrup all her life and it was finally catching up to her.

what was worse was that she made working so frustratingly fun. akemi had always been happy with her job, but she thought it rather monotonous. then mizu comes along, and makes her laugh constantly and actually enjoy her job more than she thought possible, and it feels unnatural. it's not something she's used to, and mizu makes things so.. nice. she looks at akemi with those gorgeous blue eyes and laughs her beautiful laugh and everything disappears, if only for a minute. and she goes home to taigen and talks to him about all the conversations they have, and he's proud of her for making a friend. and she goes to sleep, guilt pooling in her stomach as she's held by the man she's supposed to love more than anything. and mizu has taken that away from her. but god, the way she makes akemi feel is heavenly.

and so this goes on for a week or two, and everything is perfectly okay everywhere but akemi's mind. she's frantic, trying to choose between this woman and the man she's quite literally engaged to. and nobody has an inkling of what's happening because all the while she smiles. she smiles her pretty delicate grin, and she keeps going because what else do you do? for months, she smiles. until the petals start to fall out of her mouth every morning. she is startled, naturally. she spews up these petals and she holds them in her delicate hands, tears spilling from her delicate eyes. she can't entirely tell what kinds of petals they are, but she doesn't really care.

soon enough the petals turn to flowers and the tears dry up as this becomes the norm. except one thing is obvious. the flowers are mizu's. sure, it's bad enough she's vomiting flowers, but it's worse that these same flowers appear in her coworker's arrangements, the same coworker she's been silently yearning for for months. and with these flowers is blood. a lot. and it hurts. it stains her hands and her clothes and it stains her purity, the porcelain of the bathtub turning red the more she spews these horrible things from her lying mouth. and she feels sick, constantly. there's a weight in her body like a secret that she'd be killed for spilling, and she wants nothing more than for it to disappear. and with mizu, it does. she spends her shifts laughing and she feels weightless. until she leaves.

she keeps the flowers, piling them into empty jewellery and shoe boxes and piling them up in her closet, away from everybody else. she is embarrassed, she hates herself for her feelings and her selfishness. eventually, after months and months of this endless illness, she feels the heaviness of these flowers in her chest, clogging up her heart, growing inside the shell of her body, and she can't take it. she leaves her job, she locks herself away and she spends her time in her bathtub, weak and blossoming in the dim light of the candles she surrounds herself with.

if she's going to rot, she has to at least smell nice.

AHHH IM SORRY IF THIS SUCKS JHAKSFONF I JUST WANTED TO WRITE SOMETHING SO I SORTA RUSHED IT BUT I HOPE ITS OKAY !!

#blue eye samurai #mizu x akemi #mizu blue eye samurai #akemi blue eye samurai #i love lesbians #i suck at writing #hanahaki disease #mizemi #mizemi realness #curse these lesbians #im going insane

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