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themurphyzone · 5 years

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Absolutely Disastrous Ch 5

AN: Eileen and Marcus Underwood are underused. We need more Underwood family!

Ch 5: We’ll Call it a Day! Everybody Rest Up!

Once they’d taken the path back to Littleroot, it was only a five-minute walk to Zack’s house. There wasn’t much to the residential area of town. All the houses were painted in simple, earthy shades that blended perfectly with the forest.

“Lee’s got the beanie. Lance does not,” Zack repeated for the fifteenth time. “Don’t mix them up unless you want to find whoopee cushions in your beds.”

Melissa rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry so much. Milo and I have plenty of practice differentiating between Absol. Twins are a piece of cake.”

Milo stood out of range so the door didn’t splinter into pieces while Zack turned the doorknob. He kept a lasso at the ready in case a stampede of wild Pokémon tried to carry anyone off.

Zack frowned, jiggling the doorknob a few times. “Weird. We don’t lock it during the day unless nobody’s home.”

Giggles erupted from inside the house.

“Who is it?” a child’s voice called.

“It’s me, Zack!” Zack sighed irritably. “Open the door!”

“Sorry, that’s not the password! Please try again at the sound of the beep!”

“Lee, I have something important to tell Mom and I’ve had a long day already. I’m not in the mood for pranks.”

“It was Lance’s idea!”

“Was not!”

“Was too!”

“Nuh-uh!”

“Lee! Lance! I want to see those hands squeaky clean before dinner!” a woman scolded. “And don’t lock your brother out of the house!”

“Yes, Mom,” Lee and Lance chorused. They continued to bicker as their voices faded away.

The door swung open, revealing a woman in comfortable house clothes. Zack looked a lot like her. Her eyes flicked over to Melissa and Milo.

“I don’t think I’ve seen you two before,” she said kindly. “Not from around here?”

“I’m Milo and this is Melissa!” Milo exclaimed. Diogee huffed at being left out. “And my partner, Diogee. Don’t worry. I haven’t forgotten about you!”

Diogee snorted.

“We’re from the Mt. Chimney area. And we all just became Pokémon Trainers!” Milo continued.

The woman blinked in surprise. She studied Zack for a long time, who shrank back from the sudden scrutiny. Then she smiled. “Zack, I know you have better manners than this! Milo, Melissa, come inside for dinner. I want to hear how you two managed to convince my boy to become a Pokémon Trainer in the span of one afternoon. Oh, and you can just call me Eileen. Dr. Underwood is a mouthful for house guests.”

Eileen’s tone left no room for argument.

“Marcus called when you left the lab, but all he said over the phone was ‘Zack’s a Pokémon Trainer now’ before hanging up,” Eileen remarked as she set two extra places at the table for Milo and Melissa. “I love him, but that man always forgets to explain the important details. When he got his first Pokémon, he left home without telling his parents goodbye and they filed a missing person report for him! Sometimes he’s just the epitome of absent-minded professor.”

“We had to rescue Dad from a swarm of Magikarp. Some pirate guy was dumping them into the lake and disturbing the ecosystem,” Zack explained. “Milo and Melissa did most of the work on that.”

“You’re the one whose friends with a wild Gyarados,” Melissa said, gently punching Zack on the shoulder. “Stop selling yourself short.”

“Is it true?” Lee demanded, rushing out of the bathroom. His hands were still dripping wet. “Are you a-whoa!” He stared up at Diogee, mouth open in shock. He turned around, cupping his hands to his mouth. “LANCE! GET OUT HERE! THERE’S A COOL POKÉMON IN THE DINING ROOM!”

Diogee growled slightly as Lee tried to touch his fur with still-wet hands.

“Lee, go dry your hands and don’t let me catch you touching someone else’s Pokémon without permission again,” Eileen warned.

“But, Mom-“

“Argue and you won’t have cherry pie for dessert.”

Lee scampered off immediately.

“Mom, can you look over our Pokémon after dinner? We want them checked before we start training,” Zack asked, scooping up a handful of silverware from a drawer and setting them next to every plate. “Oh, and they need a place to stay the night.”

“It’s no issue,” Eileen said. She stirred a large pot of soup on the stove. “Dinner’s almost ready. Melissa, why don’t you take the spare room? There might be a few boxes you’ll have to move aside, but it’s cozy enough. And Milo, we don’t have another bed, but there’s an air mattress we can set up in Zack’s room.”

Milo showed her a deflated air mattress from his backpack. “It’s okay. I have five air mattresses in my backpack! As my dad always says, it’s always good to have one on hand for sleep emergencies and random Ducklett attacks!”

Eileen’s nose scrunched up in thought as she tried to figure out how an average sized backpack fit five air mattresses. “But Ducklett aren’t native to Hoenn.”

Melissa shook her head. “With Murphy’s Law, any species of Pokémon can appear anywhere at any time. Doesn’t matter if they’re native to the area or not.”

The flames on the stove suddenly flared up, almost engulfing the bottom of the pot. Eileen hurriedly turned a dial, and the flames sputtered out with a click.

“Oh, and random fires may crop up too. I’ll just leave this fire extinguisher here. Comes in pretty handy,” Milo said, placing a fire extinguisher in the corner.

After a few minutes, Eileen recovered. “Alright. You seem used to handling these…situations. Just go put down your things and I’ll have everything plated when you come back.”

The twins spent their dinner watching the Pokémon eat. Eileen had to remind them several times to take a bite of their own food.

“-and that’s why Sara swore off secretly watching weight-lifting competitions between wild Machop!” Milo finished. “So, what’s Littleroot like?”

“Not gonna lie. It’s boring. But just ignore my personal bias. I’ll always prefer the city myself. Did Zack tell you we lived in Olivine before?” Eileen said. “It’s sort of the Johto equivalent to your Slateport. Zack’s grandfather runs a Miltank farm just outside there.”

“My big brother fell into the Magikarp pond,” Lee giggled.

Zack almost choked on his soup. “Don’t tell them that!” he squeaked.

“It’s not exactly news to us,” Melissa said. “Besides, you’re not the only one with irrational fears. Take Milo for instance. He’s afraid of Ranseinese fingertraps.”

Zack raised an eyebrow. “Ranseinese fingertraps?”

“They’re a fiendish, diabolical trap that limits one’s dexterity while slowly suffocating the poor little capillaries,” Milo said. He was adamant that they were the worst traps known to mankind.

Melissa rolled her eyes. “Milo, you’re supposed to push your fingers in, It loosens the binding.”

“That’s what they want you to think.”

“Um, Milo?” Lance piped up. He shifted in his seat when everyone turned to him. “I just wanna know…what’s the stuff in Diogee’s food?”

Diogee growled protectively, nudging his food bowl away from prying eyes.

“Don’t worry, he wasn’t trying to steal your food,” Milo said soothingly. “Anyway, the red splotches in his pellets are Razz Berries. In addition to flavor, their hard shells also prevent an Absol’s fangs from growing too sharp. You don’t want them cutting their gums.”

Lance jumped out from his seat. “Sorrymomberightback!” he called over his shoulder as he rushed off.

Eileen placed a slice of cherry pie on Lance’s plate. “He wants to be a Pokémon Researcher like Marcus. Always writing down Pokémon facts and care tips in his notebook.”

Noticing that Mudkip and Torchic were trying to climb up the empty seat to get to the pie, Milo gently pulled them off. They protested as he deposited them next to their food bowls.

“No,” Milo said sternly. “That pie is for Lance.”

Torchic’s feathers puffed out, and Mudkip chewed on his wrist.

“They’re a handful,” Eileen remarked. “You might as well relax tonight because you’ve got some serious training to do on the road.”

Since Eileen said she worked better when people weren’t watching over her shoulder, nobody would be allowed in the house’s clinic while she conducted the Pokémon’s checkups.

Milo and Melissa took the opportunity to freshen up before joining Zack and the twins in the living room.

“What’s it like living around a bunch of Absol? What do they like to eat? What kind of disasters do they sense?” Lance fired all the Absol-related questions he could think of at Milo.

Milo answered him the best he could, pausing every once in while to make sure Lance had enough time to write his responses in his notebook.

Melissa, Zack, and Lee passed the time with a game of Poképoly. The Underwood siblings only had a few bills each, while Melissa had no shortage of money. Zack rolled the dice, then moved his Bellsprout piece to a space that had a plastic replica of the Indigo Plateau.

“I own Mt. Silver. That’ll be 2500 please,” Melissa smirked, holding out her hand expectantly.

“Extortionist,” Zack muttered, grudgingly forking over his remaining money. Because he didn’t have enough, Melissa took the remaining amount from the bank.

“First lesson of Poképoly, Lee. Show no mercy, not even to family. Crush ‘em. Make ‘em weep,” Melissa said. “Oh, and you wanna aim for the spaces around the jail area. More bang for your buck.”

Lee nodded vigorously, while Zack was less than pleased about Melissa teaching about the ways of ruthless corporatism.

“Zack, could I use your desktop to call my family?” Milo asked. “I promised them I’d call after we visited the lab.”

“I wanna meet your family!” Lance exclaimed.

“Me too!” Lee agreed.

“Okay, but try not to blow anything up,” Zack warned as he logged into the computer.

Milo shrugged, knowing that he couldn’t promise anything since Murphy’s Law would always find a way to surprise them. “I’ll try, but no promises.”

“Melissa, were you gonna call home too?” Zack asked.

Melissa shrugged, folding her arms defensively. “I already texted Dad. Besides, he’s probably got something at the fire department right now.”

After the fiasco in the helicopter, Milo couldn’t blame Melissa for wanting her space. But she and her dad would have to face each other in Lavaridge. Maybe the journey would give her time to think things over.

While Milo entered his username into the video chat service his family used, Eileen and the Pokémon came into the living room. Mudkip pawed at Milo until he was settled in his lap. Diogee laid by his feet, watching Mudkip from the corner of his eye. Meanwhile, Torchic and Treecko climbed all over Melissa and Zack.

“Your Pokémon are all healthy. After a hectic day, all they need is rest,” Eileen reported. “My only concern is Mudkip’s tendency to put things in his mouth. While it’s natural for young Pokémon to explore the world through taste and texture, your Mudkip is old enough to be a starter and should’ve outgrown that habit by now.”

Milo glanced down at Mudkip, who nibbled at a pocket on his shorts innocently. “I’ve noticed,” he admitted. “Can I train this out of him?”

“I suggest teaching him what he can or can’t put in his mouth. Yes for designated toys or food. No to body parts. You can probably find some toys at the Poké Mart in Oldale Town.”

“Okay, we’ll get some toys!” Milo agreed. “Thanks for the tip!”

“It’s my job,” Eileen said.

Sara answered the video call within seconds. “MOM! DAD! MILO’S CALLING!” she bellowed.

“Are things boring without us?” Milo teased.

Sara kicked back in her chair, sighing dramatically. “Boring’s an understatement. Now I don’t have anyone to gush about Dr. Magnezone with.”

“Don’t you have your friends in Mauville?” Melissa asked.

“Not the same! I’d be a laughingstock if I told them I shipped Dr. Magnezone with Clefablebelle!”

“You like Dr. Magnezone?” Lee gasped. “He’s the coolest person ever! I liked the episode where he tricked the evil Trubbishdroids into destroying their own fortress!”

“Sweet! Young fan! Always good to see the young people enjoying Dr. Zone!” Sara exclaimed. “So how do you know my brother?”

Lee pointed to Zack. “My brother brought him and Melissa home! We’re having one big sleepover tonight!”

Lance jumped in, obscuring Milo’s view of the screen. “Do you live on an Absol farm too? Are they just as cool as Diogee?”

Milo let the twins dominate the conversation, content to hang back for a while as he tried to gently dissuade Mudkip from chewing on his pockets. There were already several tiny holes in them, and he wanted his shorts to last.

After ten minutes, Brigitte and Martin joined in. “Sorry. Martin’s tie got stuck in the sink. I told you not to lean over the disposal, honey.”

“I got my guitar pick back though. Besides, I still have six more ties for the week,” Martin said. His tie hung in ribbons around his neck. “I see you’ve already made some friends.”

“We helped Zack rescue his dad from a pirate guy’s plot to release Magikarp into the local ecosystem,” Milo said. “You should’ve seen us! Zack’s friends with a Gyarados and Melissa’s really good at commanding two Pokémon at once!”

“Now this I gotta hear,” Sara said.

Zack tilted the camera to give them a better view of the Treecko on his head. “They forced me to run away from a giant boulder within five minutes of meeting me.”

“In our defense, we didn’t have time to explain certain details,” Melissa added.

Martin glanced outside, then held up a hand to stop Milo from retelling the story. “Sorry, can you hold on for a few minutes? I need to shoo some wild Geodude away from the outdoor furniture.”

Milo agreed, and the conversation shifted to Sara gushing over how adorable their Pokémon were. Torchic jumped onto the desk, peering into the camera curiously. Melissa pried Torchic off, accidentally knocking the computer mouse to the floor.

Before Zack could put the mouse back, a Linoone snatched it out of his hands.

“Hey!” Lee protested.

“Don’t let him out!” Melissa shouted. “Torchic, use Peck!”

Torchic darted towards Linoone, who jumped over her with the mouse clutched in his teeth. She rapidly pecked at the couch while Linoone continued his getaway.

You’ve never seen him before, this is just his debut!

He’s Recurring Linoone!

“I didn’t know you had ghosts,” Milo said. The Underwood house didn’t seem like the kind to hold any supernatural creatures.

Eileen hit the fleeing Linoone over the head with a broom, forcing him to drop the mouse. Then she opened the front door, sweeping Linoone outside before locking him out of the house. Melissa plugged the mouse into the computer, shaking it to make sure it worked.

“We don’t have ghosts. I have no idea where those annoying commercial jingle guys came from,” Zack said.

Wait, is this Pokéstar Studios? We’re supposed to be disembodied voice actors for a movie.

“Completely wrong region, man!” Melissa shouted in exasperation. “That’s in Unova!”

“How do you mistake a house in Littleroot for a studio?” Zack asked.

That’s the last time we let Disembodied Reggae Space Voice give us directions. Dude still can’t let go of how we forgot the marshmallows on our last camping trip. Sorry for the intrusion. Thanks for your help!

“We must never speak of this incident again,” Melissa swore.

Milo turned back to the computer screen. Brigitte and Sara took the interruption in stride.

Then Martin returned, plucking a mustard-covered branch out of his hair. “So, you mentioned stopping a guy who talked like a pirate?”

AN: I used imaginashon’s art and notes of Lee and Lance as a base for their personalities. They’re both really adorable and I really wish they’d appear in MML because I’m sure they’d be a riot.

As much as I love fanfiction, a downside of this medium is how cartoon gags don’t translate well to text. Sometimes I feel like Murphy’s Law doesn’t happen as often as it should because I can’t just have random things explode because Milo happens to be there. So I try to include it in the situations the characters get into instead.

Ransei is the region in Pokemon Conquest. I know it’s based off feudal Japan but there isn’t a direct equivalent of China.

Melissa has a 133-0 winning streak in Poképoly. She’s keeping it that way.

#absolutely disastrous #milo murphy's law #oras au #underwood family #pokemon #melissa chase #zack underwood

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