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#meanwhile Gerudo Link and Zelda fell down a giant pothold into the Depths and are running around screaming whenever they find Gloom Hands
skyloftian-nutcase · 1 month
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HEY LOVELIES GUESS WHO CAME UP WITH MORE SILLINESS WHILE PLAYING ZELDA GAMES
SO. Y'all remember how Blood of the Hero stemmed from me replaying BotW and wanting to spice up the story? Fun fact about me, I can't replay a game without creating a new storyline for it in my head. So Blood of the Hero came about because I wanted to replay BotW and change the stakes, change the gameplay, change the order of things, etc. I love exploring how you can complete the game differently!
I decided to replay TotK.
But I wanted to do it differently. I wanted to avoid the main quest, build up hearts/stamina and complete the side quests because frankly they're the best part of the game to me. So I was like "how do I complete the game without getting the sages or the dragon tears?" I was puzzling over what new story I could create just for my own amusement to help me complete the game like this, and it hit me.
It's freaking Mystery Link. Who else would avoid the Main Plotline like the plague? That man can smell Destiny's Call from a mile away and Noped right out of there.
It just--it fits so perfectly and now I am having an absolute blast. Becuase I had to come up with logical reasons why the game mechanics are the way they are for Mystery Link, so why is he almost naked at the beginning? It's because he was washing his one (1) set of clothes in the river and got distracted by Friend, so then his clothes washed down the river and off a waterfall and he never found them so now he's running around in his underwear.
And this poor man. Is trying so hard. To get some clothes. But he went to Kakariko and the clothing shop is overpriced because the owner's grandma is sick, and he feels for her plight but he can't afford these prices. So off in his underwear he goes. But wait! Hateno! Fashion central! Surely they have clothes! He goes there, and has to stand around and listen to fashion people argue over tickets to get inside, and eventually when they give up he gets the solitary ticket, and--
Sophie: Oh, well since you're the only customer now, you can enter. :) Mystery: THANK HYLIA, I can finally get some-- Sophie: It's only an exhibition, but Cece herself is-- Mystery: ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME
The best part is that the first set of clothes Mystery and I could find was the barbarian top, and y'all, he was so annoyed.
Mystery, finding a big shiny treasure chest: :D Mystery, realizing there are clothes inside: !!!!! :D :D :D Mystery, realizing it's a glorified leather strap and a pelt to wear as a miniskirt: WHY
I am having so much fun. Also, fun fact, trying to complete this game without a paraglider is hellish but Mystery Link and I are accepting the challenge.
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