2.
[Doorbell rings]
3.
Kell: Sam. Fuck. Uh. I totally forgot you were coming. Sorry about the mess, I was going to clean.
Sam: Were you sleeping?
Kell: Yeah, but I should've probably woken up, like, 9 hours ago so it's a good thing you came.
4.
Sam: I can help you clean.
Kell: Yeah, no, that's not happening, I would die from embarrassment. Sorry if it's smokey in here, I don't want to give you an asthma attack.
Sam: No, it's fine.
5.
Sam: Are you okay?
Kell: Not at all.
Sam: Did something happen?
Kell: Well, I don't know if you know this, but one of my closest friends got himself into a coma?
Sam: Very funny.
Kell: Then it's been downhill from there. How is he? Aiden?
Sam: He's, um...
6.
Sam: I don't know. He's acting like the whole thing was just nothing.
Kell: To be fair, he was unconscious the whole time so it was probably nothing to him. Plus, this isn't his first drug-related medical emergency, is it? You, however, were a wreck. Like a total mess.
Sam: I'm sorry, next time my fiancé is in a coma I'll think of being more presentable.
Kell: Good.
7.
Kell: No seriously, pretty understandable with the situation and all. I'm glad things turned out the way they did, I'd have no one to get high with if Aiden died.
Sam: Kellan.
Kell: I'm kidding. Also, it wasn't weed that got him into a coma, Sam.
8.
Kell: Seriously, though, actually seriously this time, I get it. I mean, I was a wreck too. Honestly, I don't know what I would've done if Aiden died.
9.
Kell: Especially not like that. The waiting was the worst, not knowing if he'd be okay or not. I mean, I don't know about you but I had some hope he'd live, but still.
Sam: [Shakes head]
Kell: You didn't think he'd live? Like, at all?
10.
Sam: ...no.
11.
Kell: In other news, my date last weekend was so bad. Unimaginably bad. Easily top 3 list bad.
Sam: You have a list of your worst dates?
Kell: Well, Sam, some of us aren't super fucking lucky and randomly meet the love of our lives one day. I have to gamify it to maintain my sanity. She was really nice, though, it was my fault. I just wanted to go home the entire time.
12.
Sam: Let me know if I can help.
Kell: With dating? You might be in a long-term relationship but you're not qualified.
Sam: No? You know what I meant.
Kell: Dude, you're literally the last person I'd unload my emotional baggage on right now. I'm more likely to do it to Aiden. Aiden.
Sam: Kell, you are not making me feel better.
Kell: I'm not trying to. I'm giving you a reality check.
13.
Sam: I don't need a reality check, I'm well aware I've been a mess.
Kell: You literally went straight from a mental breakdown to taking care of Aiden.
Sam: Yes? He was in a coma? He's my fiancé? We live together?
Kell: Okay, now you're just making me feel lonely. You're literally third wheeling me and Aiden's not even here.
Sam: You brought it up!
Kell: Oh. Right.
14.
Kell: Have you slept in the past week, by the way? Because it doesn't look like it.
Sam: I have. This is just what I look like.
Kell: It's not.
Sam: Yes, it is. You're just insulting me now.
15.
Kell: My point is, you let me know if I can help you.
Sam: You could have phrased it in a nicer way.
16.
Sam: Can we talk about something else? I'm getting tired of coma related conversations.
Kell: Oh, for sure. I can tell you about my worst dates list and you can laugh at me. I have it written down and everything.
Sam: What?
Kell: Yeah, with details. Do you want to see?
Sam: ...sure.
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