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#maybe i'll think about doing the part 2
bookrat · 8 months
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This project will never actually be 'done', but there's enough to it now to be worth sharing. A treasure chest full of items and accessories from the 1998 ps1 rpg Legend of Legaia
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chiropteracupola · 1 year
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dress up nice (and don't get any blood on yourself this time, please)
[collaboration with @dxppercxdxver again. we are still going.]
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louismygf · 29 days
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just recently watched this is us with my college friends
#tbqh i found it kinda boring 😭#the louis clips were so not enough#ive watched some clips online prior to actually watching it (for the first time might i add)#one of my friends had a cousin who was crazyyy ab 1d so she dragged her out to the cinema to go watch it when it came out and in 3d lol 😭#the 3d schtick is so funny 2 me lmao 😭#my friend recalls freaking out in the movie theater bc she was a major niall fan at the time. she said 3d niall was so close 2 her face lol#anyway. ab how i watched some clips online prior#i was actually waiting for the louis n his sisters part or the one where he visits his school or smth#my friends.... they literally don't know a thing ab louis personality-wise so they didn't really get much from it#UGH i should download aotv and make them watch it that was way more interesting (but idk? smth about it feels like it's made for fans only?#but... i'll suggest it the next time we get together 🙏🏼#anyw back to my review.#simon cowell's face was a jumpscare what can i say. it was so evil how nicole scherzinger was just. completely written off#im from the future i Know things#<- and like. about this. i felt kinda bad being cynical about the movie when i know my friend is Still an ot5 at heart#i think i broke her 13-year old heart a little 😭#it's so weird how the movie keeps singling out zayn about him getting kicked out or him talking solo music etc kskdj. feels v pointed Lol#they really just documented the 1d-mania & madness they ensued huh.... i think 2 of my friends (bts fans) weren't as impressed LOL 😭#they kinda flamed their performances and stage outfits which is. yeah i agree. kpop idols do WAY more than just.... that (1d) kskskd#i guess i'll make them watch the extra clips next time (o haven't seen all the clips yet i think)#OH and 😭 why was martin scorsese in the film that was hilarious#didn't have a lot of realness to it. is what i thought of the film. yeah. this is(N'T) us ✊🏽😔#maybe... i am too much of a hater#i liked... the... um. it's hard to highlight things i liked ab the film when im Not a 1d fan 😭 like im a louie ONLY idgaf ab 1d 😔#the part ab louis audition.... im sorry babie the editors did u dirty but it was so funny........😭#<- though i imagine it solidified people's (wrong) opinions about him :/
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daz4i · 1 month
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love my social worker he's so sweet and i love my mentor/guide/one day i'll find a fitting english word for what her role is too. last time i met the former he said they talked abt the thing i'm starting this thursday and said "while it feels like these circumstances may be impossible for you, logically speaking you shouldn't succeed there, yet both of us are certain you will" which is very nice but also AAAAAAAAAAAAA
#they're right like these ARE p much impossible circumstances for me#but i do think they think too highly of me and i'm definitely gonna disappoint them 🥲#this was both assuring yet. like. pressuring. if that's the right word idk#ik there's the whole. 'what if i fail' 'but what if you don't' back and forth but genuinely. realistically speaking. i most likely will#i have never been able to maintain those daily structure stuff like school for example#and while i do hope that since this is only 4 short days a week (with a break in between 2 and 2) and smth i like doing -#- then i'll have an easier time. but. it's still gonna be so hard.#there's a reason i don't go out or wake up early ughhhhh it's bc i hate doing it. idk if theater would be enough to make up for that#and what if i don't like the people what if i don't get along with the directors what if i struggle with remembering lines or physicality#which will make it all so much harder and make the part i'm supposed to love unpleasant as well#what would i do then 🥲#. why am i anxious about this rn. i have a tough day ahead of me for a different reason i should probably focus on first 🫠#vent#sorryyyyyyy it's 1 am and i need to clear my brain out it seems#also maybe i want. advice. or encouragement. idek what i want. here. i don't wanna have to worry abt this but that's impossible ofc#(my mom told me today that she wants to tell me there's nothing to stress about but she knows that'll just be incorrect 😭 and she's right)#(dw she meant it nicely and gently as in she knew i'd just get mad at her for saying it lol. and i mean. again. gotta be realistic)
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rotisseries · 9 months
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i think my zelink playlist is my only good one like this shit is devastating genuinely
#the one exception on there being I would do anything for love by meatloaf#which is a classic case of “I like this song so much that I'm gonna black out and insist it goes here anyway even if it maybe doesn't”#lyrically that song is fine its just that the rest of the playlist is sad indie shit so it fucks with the vibes a bit#anyway this post is kind of a lie my el and max ones are also good and also probably better than the zelink one#it's just that 99 percent of the time if I make a character/ship/feeling playlist I get like 4 songs in it#go “hmm I'll work on this more another time” and never touch it again. so. most of them suck#and that's part of the reason my entire spotify profile is private#but the zelink one. well it's technically also not done to me hence why I made it in may and then never sent it to gloomy#hi gloomy sorry gloomy#but it's like 2 hours long which in retrospect is I think a normal length for playlists but not to me not if it's you#2 hours is normal if you curate that shit I don't curate my ideal playlist is an 8 hour monstrosity with every song#that even briefly induces character feelings#so um. georgia by phoebe bridgers though#anyway I was actually listening to the zelink playlist today bc I was thinking about ANOTHER couple. um😐#and it was genuinely getting rancid awful radioactive in my brain so I was like “FUCK THIS!! I NEED TO THINK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE”#and forcibly induced a zelink breakdown#prescribed 500 ml of zelinkism to combat The Diseases
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yohankang · 6 months
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i fucked up majorly at work today and i will have to deal with it tomorrow so i'm going crazy rn
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quickhacked · 1 year
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Chapter >> 10 [x] Characters >> Cato Wu (oc), Judy Álvarez, Lauren Dimas (oc), Matvey Dobrynin (oc), Mikhail Koshechkin (oc), Panam Palmer, Thibault Lajoie (oc), Viktor Vektor, Vincent Mayer (oc), Vitali Dobrynin (oc), [redacted] Total >> 9.6k words Warnings >> Blood mention, brainwashing mention, death mention, descriptions of suffocation, family, injuries, violence
‘What are we looking at?’
‘Seven attacks have been reported thus far, four of them still on-going. Many casualties among mercs- none of ours yet- word on the street is a fixer was killed, too.’
Clack. Clack. Clack.
Vitali found himself back in the hallway. Pace as fast as it could possibly go, leg painfully protesting with every move, heart racing uncontrollably in his chest and hand white-knuckled around his cane- Judy and Panam by either of his sides, as they hurried toward the medbay.
He had been there before. Two months ago, give or take; when Eddie, Lauren, Mikhail and Panam had been targeted during that damned cargo transport. Never again, Vitali had thought; I will not let this happen ever again.
Naïve, perhaps. Or just fucking stupid. Either way, how wrong he had been- it had only gone downhill from there, from Mikhail’s captivity to Vincent’s, from seeing his mother again to coming face to face with his father in the decrepit Arasaka facility, from meeting Daniil, to-
To Thibault nearly losing his life in an explosion.
Yet another thing Vitali had been unable to prevent. He had not been anywhere nearby, and it was Night City of all places- explosions happened all the fucking time- but it still hit him hard, especially considering how little Thibault had been involved in the situation at all.
Vitali pushed the door of the medbay open and hesitantly stepped inside, almost scared- ashamed- to show his face. Thibault sat on the edge of their bed, next to Cato; and they gave Vitali a weak smile and wave when he entered.
‘Broken wrist, two bruised ribs, some scrapes ‘n bruises,’ Viktor said from the other end of the room before Vitali could ask anything. He sat on his usual stool, taking some quick notes on a notepad before quickly wheeling himself over to the small crowd in his workplace. ‘Your parking lot took most of the damage.’
‘And Vincent’s car too,’ Thibault quietly added, their semi-mechanical voice raspier than usual. ‘I think they rigged it, but- I wasn’t able to see very well.’
‘Never mind his car or my parking lot,’ Vitali cut them off, ignoring the implications of the possibility of Vincent’s car having carried the explosion underneath, and he quickly walked closer and sat himself down on the bed next to Thibault’s to relieve his leg. ‘How are you feeling?’
A pointless question, but what else could he ask? His heart was so heavy.
‘Tired, mostly,’ was the hesitant answer. ‘Ears are ringing, but- other than that, I feel fine. If you need me back in the field, I can walk. Run too, probably- haven’t tried yet, but should be…should be fine, yes.’
‘You’re not going anywhere,’ Vitali softly replied. ‘We have everything covered.’
That wasn’t true. Thibault knew. And Vitali knew that xe knew. But neither of them said any more of it.
Vitali had woken up early that morning. Earlier than usual, feeling refreshed for the first time in a while, and he had gone to work before Vincent and Mikhail had even gotten out of bed. Taken his time with the drive to the office, despite it being nearby enough; though to be fair on a busy day it could still easily take him half an hour if not longer to make it to the other side of Wellsprings.
It had been unnerving, almost, how smoothly most of the morning had passed by. The sun had been shining outside, a warm and sunny day- the start of June, and Vitali had finally felt like he could start planning for Vincent’s birthday. And he had, between the few calls he’d had to take and the single client meeting near noon.
Nothing too big, of course. Just a day for the two of them; ever since they had first kissed on Vincent’s birthday the year before, they’d had only a handful of actual dates, between all the situations they’d found themselves in. Vitali figured it would be nice to have another; he just hoped neither of them would be too tired to leave the house.
But now, even though it was still a week away, Vitali wasn’t even sure if they would be able to do anything at all.
‘Get some rest,’ he quietly said and reached out to Thibault’s not-injured hand, to give it a soft squeeze. ‘I am sure there’ll be plenty of work to do in the building once we get this situation resolved- you could help then, if you really want to.’
‘Of course,’ Thibault replied, and another weak smile took shape on xyr face. ‘That’s what you’re paying me for, no? Kidding- I’d do this for free. You know that.’
I would give you all the world, if I could.
‘Stay with them,’ Vitali quickly said, regaining himself and directing his attention to Cato now as he stood up again. ‘Keep me updated on any new developments here.’
‘Don’t you want me out there?’ Cato asked, gesturing at the most nearby window, a frown decorating her brow. ‘Not injured myself. I can make myself useful.’
‘And I would like for you to do that here.’
Vitali had not been able to get the visual of- of Daniil, his own fucking brother- attacking Cato and trying to stab her out of his head. He knew Cato had dealt with much, much worse before, and after a short conversation following the incident that same day she had not brought it up anymore-
But Vitali had watched enough of his friends end up in pain. It had to stop.
He made his way back to the door and Judy and Panam followed suit again, both having been dead silent in the few minutes they had spent in the medbay. Much to Vitali’s surprise, Viktor stood up from his stool too and walked with him- but he did not question it. No time for that now.
Vitali still was not entirely sure what had happened.
It had all gone fast; a report of an explosion near Regina’s headquarters, followed by report after report of mercenaries getting injured, dying- none of Vitali’s as of yet, though he was not even able to say for sure since most of their systems had suddenly been down too, an outage in the entire Heywood district leaving them with little to work with.
Brief contact with the Council had once again confirmed to Vitali none of them worried about the Broker. He knew it was his father’s doing; had tried to convince them of it, yet before he could have even said a word a distress signal had disturbed their meeting- the currently absent Wakako had been under attack, and it had marked the end of their communication for the time being.
On his own, once again. Supplies still low, mercenaries exhausted and scared- and Vitali was starting to reach the end of his rope.
‘What is our situation?’ he asked, slightly turning his head as the four of them made their way to mission control.
‘Three squads in the field currently,’ Judy replied and held out her tablet a little so Vitali could take a look at the footage. ‘Shiro and Hux are still over at Wakako’s to assist Goro; no new updates as of yet… Eddie and his squad should be nearing the Northside rendezvous by now.’
‘And V?’
A short pause.
‘Not yet been able to reestablish contact.’
Vitali subconsciously fastened his pace, refusing to say any more of it and he rolled back his shoulders, straightening his back as if to show he was not about to back down to nobody in particular; his heart was still racing in his chest and nausea was bubbling up in his stomach, though he managed to keep it at bay for now- much to his own surprise.
‘Panam- Take whoever you can find and get to Westbrook,’ he said, slightly raising his voice. ‘I need that situation under control, stat. Judy, I need either you or Lauren in the Net. We need our systems back online. Are you up for that?’
The deafening silence that followed caused Vitali to slow down and he looked behind him; Viktor had followed him a little further, though both Panam and Judy had stopped in their tracks at some point, both carrying the same hesitant- nearly terrified- look in their eyes.
‘Please,’ Vitali blurted out, heart skipping a beat though he was unsure whether it was out of frustration or fear. ‘If I could do all of this myself, I would.’
‘No, no-! It’s not that,’ Panam immediately responded, her voice slightly unstable as she spoke, and she redirected her attention to the tablet in Judy’s hands. ‘There’s…’
Before she could finish her sentence, a loud siren cut through the air, filling the streets of Wellsprings, loud enough for them to hear inside Vitali’s office. All the air was punched straight out of his lungs and he hurried back, to look over Judy’s shoulder at the screen.
‘Another explosion,’ she quietly said, her tablet showing a live news feed. ‘The docks. There were people there.’
‘Our people?’
‘I… I can’t tell.’
Vitali caved in.
What was he supposed to do? Times like these reminded him that he was so- small. Insignificant. Merely one man in a city so large, and it didn’t matter what he did. It would never make a difference.
Just like he had never been able to make a difference in Arasaka, like he had wanted to when he had started working for them all those fucking years ago. Stuck in a never ending cycle- a hell of his own making- believing he could mean something in the bigger picture of things-
‘Just the more reason to get a move on,’ Viktor suddenly said. ‘Our people or not- they can use all the help they can get.’
Vitali instantly snapped back to reality and he quickly nodded, a weight washing off his chest when Viktor suddenly reached out and placed a strong hand on his shoulder, almost as if to ground him. His gaze moved back to the girls, and they both seemed to regain themselves as well.
‘Westbrook. Wakako,’ Panam quickly said, and nodded too. ‘Preem, on it. Judes?’
Judy blinked and inhaled deeply, straightening her back and her eyes met Vitali’s for a split second. He understood why she was hesitant. Understood that Lauren would be hesitant, too- after everything that had happened, to the both of them- but they were the only ones capable of diving into the Net and Vitali needed someone to cover that front for him-
Again, if he could do it all himself, he would.
‘I’ll find Lauren, have a chat,’ she finally responded. ‘We’ll- We’ll rock, paper, scissors about it.’
‘Good,’ Viktor said, removing his hand from Vitali’s shoulder. ‘No need for a deep dive, just- getting our systems back online, some surface level surveillance and plugging potential holes in case of an attack.’
Vitali’s heart finally slowed down and he pushed back his shoulders again, head suddenly a lot clearer than before. He watched in silence as Panam gave Judy a warm hug and kiss on her cheek; and she turned around and walked off, giving Vitali a soft punch against his shoulder as she passed him by.
‘Whoever his Netrunner is, they’re good,’ Judy quietly said. ‘Just hope they’re not- not waiting for someone to get in the chair.’
‘I highly doubt it, given the circumstances,’ Vitali replied, knot in his chest briefly tightening. ‘Besides, our focus is defense this time; as long as we stay out of their systems, there is no way they can get to you the way they tried before.’
Of course Vitali could not say any of it with one hundred percent certainty- but what else was there left for him to say? He wished he could do without a runner, wished he could fix any of it himself-
‘You’re right,’ Judy suddenly said and she nodded, sucking in another deep breath. ‘Got you covered, jefe.’
Vitali was unable to suppress a relieved smile.
‘Thank you.’
The situation was hard on everyone. It had been going on for way too long now and still had no end in sight, and these attacks would only complicate things in the long run; yet somehow everyone was still there. Nobody had walked away from it yet, nobody had abandoned Vitali despite the fact the Council was not helping them-
Viktor reached out for him again and softly tapped his arm to get his attention, then nodded into the rest of the hallway.
‘Mission control,’ he encouragingly said. ‘We got work to do, kid.’
The two of them quickly continued their way, Vitali still focused on the siren blaring through the sub-district. He still didn’t fully understand why the attacks were happening, but that was a problem for later; they had to get the situation under control, one way or another. Matvey couldn’t have that many people working for him.
Right?
Vitali bit the inside of his cheek as they entered mission control and exhaled sharply, mind wandering back to all the mercenaries who had walked away from him and had joined his father’s fixer network instead. Add to that all the outsiders who had joined over the years, and his father’s connections to several corporations-
‘There you are.’
Mikhail’s voice dragged Vitali out of the fog in his brain and a sense of comfort washed over him, like the presence of his friend had always been able to do. Mikhail appeared in his view and reached out to briefly cup his cheek, before also glancing at Viktor and giving him a solid nod.
‘Everything alright?’ he asked, tilting his head slightly as he redirected his attention to Vitali.
‘As good as it can be,’ Vitali answered. He carefully let his gaze trail the room; there were only a few people there, mostly talking quietly to each other while nervously glancing at the large screen on the wall. It was still showing a connection error with several large, flashing warning popups. ‘Xe’s got a broken wrist, some bruised ribs- Cato is still with xem for now.’
At times he genuinely wondered how much more injuries it was going to take before someone would end up losing their life.
‘That is good to hear.’ Mikhail spoke quietly and he stepped a little closer to Vitali, once more reaching out to him to place a hand on his upper arm. ‘But I meant with you.’
Vitali blinked, Mikhail’s words taking a moment to fully settle in his head; it was not uncommon for his friend to ask him that, yet at this point Vitali’s own well-being seemed mostly irrelevant to himself given the circumstances they had found themselves in.
‘As good as it can be,’ he quietly repeated himself.
The screen on the wall suddenly flickered and within a few seconds their feed was back online, showing Vitali live footage of the still on-going fight on Jig Jig Street. He immediately directed his attention away from Mikhail and walked closer, reaching for his hearing aid and switching to the communication line of his office building.
‘Judy?’ he asked, watching as the lights in the room briefly flickered off and on as the screen switched to live footage extracted from MaxTac bodycams.
‘Guess again,’ Lauren replied instead, and Vitali once again couldn’t stop a smile from spreading across his face. ‘At your disposal, jefe.’
It was good to have her back. Judy was good at what she did- but at the end of the day more of a techie than a runner and her knowledge was limited to the things she had been taught over time. Taught by Lauren, who had been in the chair for much longer, and whose thinking process lined up almost exactly with that of Vitali meaning less communication was needed between the two in order to get things done.
‘Can we reestablish contact with V?’ Vitali asked, a new sense of control shaking him right back awake. He nearly slipped up- had gotten so comfortable using Vincent’s full name he sometimes forgot not everyone knew about it yet.
‘One step ahead of you. Sending out a ping as we speak,’ Lauren answered. ‘Got all three of them on our radar still, so they’re not- you know. They’re still here.’
Good.
Vitali bit the inside of his cheek hard as he waited for Lauren to get back to him, placing his hands on the desk he was stood in front of. His eyes were glued to the screen, watching intently as the MaxTac officers arrived at the docks of Wellsprings- several cars were on fire, people were running everywhere, and in the background he could see several mercenaries emerge from around the corner right before they opened fire-
‘Got him,’ Lauren said and Vitali’s heart skipped a beat. ‘Connecting you now.’
Finally.
‘V, can you hear me?’ Vitali asked, voice barely stable as he spoke and hands white-knuckled around the edge of the desk in front of him. His heart was once again going a million miles an hour in his chest and he leaned heavily on his arms, suddenly barely able to keep his own balance anymore.
A brief silence followed, though each second that passed felt like an hour. Mikhail had walked closer again and placed a reassuring hand on Vitali’s back, softly running it up and down in an attempt to calm him down.
But as much as Vitali appreciated it, it did not work. He had to hear him. He had to hear his voice.
‘V?’ he repeated, swallowing heavily as tears threatened to well up in the corners of his eyes. ‘V- please say something.’
I can’t lose you. Please- not you.
‘Loud and clear! Fuck, it’s good to hear your voice again.’
Vitali’s eyes fluttered shut and a relieved sigh escaped his lips, and for a second he felt like he could pass out. Vincent’s ever-so bright voice was like music to his ears, even now that he sounded mostly exhausted; Vitali could not blame him. He felt exactly the same.
‘Where are you right now?’ he quietly asked, glancing at Viktor who had walked up to him as well and now stood beside him at the desk, an unreadable expression on his face; had not said a word since back in the hallway, as if he was deep in thought.
‘Near the bridge in Arroyo,’ Vincent answered. ‘Followed some gonks after a scuffle on Hargreaves Street- there’s an old warehouse here that looks like it’s being used as a temporary hideout.’
Another temporary hideout. Good.
It felt too easy. It was too easy- there was no way Matvey would slip up like that and Vitali knew if he would go there he would be walking directly into a trap of some sort.
But he had to try.
‘You’re doing great, but- please don’t push it too far,’ Vitali said, loosening his grip on the desk. ‘Lauren will stay in touch with you, okay? Please be careful.’
‘Careful is my middle name, ‘member?’ Vincent answered, and Vitali could almost see the playful smirk on his face through the communication line. ‘Won’t get too close until you give me the signal, promise.’
Vitali switched off his comms and turned back, resolutely making his way back to the entrance of the room. As always- unable to just sit back and watch, unable to leave the situation to his mercenaries. Yes, he paid them to work for him; yes, they were capable of handling it themselves; but they were his friends, and he could make himself the most useful in the field with them.
‘Where are you going?’ Mikhail asked, a worried frown taking shape on his face as he took some steps after Vitali.
‘Going to meet up with Vincent,’ Vitali plainly answered, briefly slowing his pace and turning back to him. ‘I want you to stay here and oversee the situation. Can you do that for me?’
‘Of course.’ Mikhail paused and swallowed, glancing back at the screen behind him and then looking back at Vitali; but he could not make eye contact anymore, several quiet noises leaving his lips before he spoke again.
‘Please be careful,’ he said in Russian. ‘You know what he’s capable of, now.’
Mikhail had almost died. If Matvey had aimed slightly more to the right-
‘I know,’ Vitali quickly responded, pushing the thoughts out of his head. ‘I’ll be careful, don’t worry.’
He left the room again, head threatening to fill with fog but it was surprisingly easy to push it back this time, mind constantly going back to Vincent. Clack, clack, clack- back into the hallway, to get to weapon storage and get suited up- and much to his surprise, Viktor followed him again.
‘Vitya, you’re not coming with me,’ Vitali instantly said, voice a little sharper than he had meant for and he picked up his pace a little as if he could outrun Viktor like that. He knew the old ripperdoc could fight, and still did every now and then; but he was not a mercenary, far from it, and Vitali did not even want to think about the things that could happen to him out in the field.
‘Don’t think you got much say in any of that,’ Viktor merely responded.
‘You work for me. I would like for you to stay here.’
‘I do- and my shift ended about an hour ago. I’m coming, whether you like it or not. Gonna try and stop me?’
Vitali blinked and straightened his back, a weird sensation running through his chest he couldn’t quite place. They reached weapon storage together, and Viktor instantly reached out to open the door and hold it for Vitali.
Yes, they had worked together before, many times- yet never like this, never together in the field. But Vitali knew Viktor long and well enough to know he was about as stubborn as Vitali himself, and to try and stop him?
Vitali wouldn’t even dare.
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‘Get down!’
Vincent jumped out of the way just in time, hiding behind a truck as the cryogenic grenade that had been hurled at his head exploded right on the other side. It set off the truck’s alarm and the piercing noise burned through his ears, disorienting him to the point he briefly forgot where he was.
It was just the five of them; him and four other mercenaries he didn’t even know the names of. Not as if it mattered- they were all allies in this, even the two of them who were not even part of Vitali’s network.
Though at that moment he found himself alone on the street, under attack from all sides by Matvey’s mercenaries- and they were not pulling their punches this time.
Vincent sprinted across the road and kneeled down behind another parked car- or- what was left of it, really. He reloaded his gun and glanced over his shoulder, noticing more enemies coming his way; they came straight from the Broker’s new hideout, heavy assault rifles at the ready, with seemingly an endless supply of ammo.
Vincent himself was on his last clip.
He hadn’t gotten too close to the warehouse, well aware of the security turrets placed on the premises. Toys from the abandoned Arasaka facility they had attacked before, and so far Vincent had not been able to quickhack them.
But the fight going on in the rest of the street had been obvious enough to draw the attention of more people and they had shown up in full force, and despite the fact they were still holding their ground, Vincent was starting to wonder if it would be smarter to pull back.
‘Heads up, V- seeing several drones on my radar coming your way.’
‘Seriously?’ Vincent yelled, exasperation dripping from his voice. ‘Of course they have drones, too.’
‘Hit ‘em on the underside,’ Lauren calmly responded. ‘Saves ammo, should take ‘em down in one or two. Six o’clock- get ready.’
Vincent looked up at the sky and saw three combat drones closing in quickly, all headed straight for him. One of them was already under fire, from what he could see- one of the mercenaries had popped up again and managed to cause the drone to catch fire, and it tumbled out of the air before it could even get close.
Vincent raised his gun and exhaled, relaxing the muscles of his shoulders as he wrapped his finger around the trigger.
Take the wind into account, kid.
Right, of course. Vincent wasn’t good at calculating anything, he usually eyeballed it and somehow it nearly always worked; he quickly adjusted his aim slightly to the right and pulled the trigger, and watched as sparks and black smoke erupted from the bottom of the second drone, right before it exploded and knocked the third drone out of its course straight into a street light.
That was easy.
Don’t get too cocky.
The corners of Vincent’s lips curled up into a smile and he could almost hear Johnny’s exasperated sigh in his head, as if he was still there with him, leaning against the street light next to him perhaps, or sitting on top of the remains of the car he was hiding behind.
Sudden gunfire immediately drew him back to reality and he lowered his head, quickly scuttling around the car to create more distance between himself and the nearing mercenaries. Only limited ammo left- he would have to pick his shots carefully, and there were still so fucking many of them-
Though as Vincent prepared himself for shooting back, most of the gunfire suddenly stopped, and soon it was almost entirely quiet on the street. He frowned and carefully looked up, eyes trailing his surroundings until he saw-
Vitali?
Vincent had never been this relieved to see his boyfriend.
He immediately jumped up and hurried his way over, briefly pausing to sink through his knees and grab a precision rifle from the ground. He slowed his pace, aiming the rifle and steadying himself- and he hit the merc trying to sneak up to Vitali right between the eyes.
Suddenly the world was spinning and Vincent’s head hit the asphalt, vision instantly going black for a few seconds from the impact. The moment he regained consciousness he was pinned to the ground, rifle no longer anywhere near him and two hands wrapped tightly around his neck.
Tears sprung in his eyes as he grabbed the mercenary’s wrists and struggled in their grip. He tried to kick his legs, but they were stuck underneath the merc’s knees, their body weight too much for him to be able to free himself.
Hey, now. Don’t panic.
But it was difficult. Vincent tried to suck in a breath but his windpipe was being crushed, leaving him with little oxygen in his lungs. He reached for the mercenary’s face and tried to poke them in their eye, or grab their hair and yank their head back, anything, but his fingers couldn’t find a grip and they kept turning their head away from him.
His vision was fading again, and rapidly now. Though seconds before he could lose consciousness once more, the weight was suddenly entirely lifted from his body and he gasped for air, instantly kickstarting himself into a coughing fit, the raspy noise from his throat mixing with the cries and screams from the mercenary.
A strong hand grabbed his own and pulled him back on his feet with such force Vincent toppled forward and bumped right into the person who had helped him-
Viktor?
Vincent had known Vitali was on his way, but he had never thought to ever see the ripperdoc in the field there with him.
‘You alright, kid?’ he asked, pushing a new handgun in Vincent’s hands. Vincent was unable to answer and quickly nodded in response, eyes rapidly trailing their surroundings once more-
It was quiet. For now. No enemy mercenaries, just the two of them, Vitali, and their four other allies, all in the process of gathering themselves and assessing the situation.
Catch your breath, V. You’re not in the clear just yet.
Vincent quickly jogged up to Vitali and hugged him without hesitation, relief filling his chest the second Vitali wrapped his arms around his waist in response and buried his face in the crook of Vincent’s neck. To think that at some point Vincent had been hesitant to initiate anything with him, terrified of overstepping a boundary, terrified of the possibility of Vitali prioritizing his reputation over what they had-
‘Are you alright?’ Vitali worriedly asked, lifting his head again and gently cupping Vincent’s face in his hands. ‘Are you injured? I’m sorry it took this long, we were held up by fucking NCPD pigs when trying to cross district border-’
‘I’m okay! I’m okay,’ Vincent quickly interrupted him, slightly turning his head to press a kiss on the palm of Vitali’s hand. ‘You’re here now. I’m- I’m glad you came.’
He watched relief wash over Vitali’s face and lifted his own hands to place them over Vitali’s, thumbs softly running over his skin. Vitali leaned in and rested his forehead against Vincent’s, eyes fluttering shut; the way their heads hit one another with a bit more force than usual told Vincent he was exhausted.
‘All due respect, we gotta get a move on,’ Viktor gently interrupted them, pointing his own weapon into the direction of the warehouse. ‘Looks like they’re reorganizing again.’
‘What’s the plan?’ one of the other mercenaries asked. They were leaning heavily on one of the others, hand clutching their side- all four of them looked as exhausted and beaten as Vincent felt and his chest tightened.
‘I’m going in,’ Vitali bluntly said, slowly lifting his head again. ‘Preferably alone, but- I feel like not everyone here will let me. Could you distract those mercs for me? Just- lure them away, no need for another fight.’
Straightforward as ever, no time for going in circles around the point he was trying to make. Vincent watched as the mercenaries briefly shared a look, and then one of them quickly started making their way to a nearby car and got in.
‘Yeah, we can do that,’ one of the others said, slowly nodding. ‘Why go in? Sounds like suicide to me.’
‘Perhaps,’ Vitali merely answered. ‘But I have to try.’
Another attempt at trying to talk some sense into Matvey. Vincent could not help but wonder why; but at the same time this was far from the right time and place to ask Vitali about it and he wisely kept his mouth shut when his boyfriend started making his way toward the warehouse without saying another word.
Vincent followed suit. Of course he did; he was not going to let Vitali enter the place all by himself, or with just Viktor to back him up. He was unsure how Vitali was going to approach the situation this time, but- he trusted him. Had always trusted him; wasn’t going to let that change now.
A loud honk from a car behind them startled Vincent and he instinctively jumped aside, only realizing when the vehicle passed by him it were the mercenaries- one of them waved at him as the car drove by. Vincent watched them slow down in front of the warehouse and fire a couple of shots at the mercenaries outside; as soon as they all began moving toward the car, they sped off, leaving the terrain surrounding the warehouse mostly cleared.
Eyes open. Watch out for those turrets.
The three of them quickly made their way around the building from a respectable distance, keeping their eyes on the stationary turrets as Johnny had told Vincent to do. Vincent’s heart was still going faster than usual, adrenaline rushing through his body and keeping him alert; it was not as bad yet as when they’d attacked Matvey’s previous hideout, but it was getting close to it.
Perhaps he wasn’t there. Perhaps it was just a rendezvous for the mercenaries, perhaps they would go inside and find nothing but the Broker’s people and a shitton of supplies, perhaps Matvey himself was someplace entirely else, looking down on them from his bloodied throne-
But something told Vincent he was inside. Waiting.
‘Stay alert,’ Vitali said, raising his gun while slowly pushing against the back door of the warehouse. ‘No idea what to expect.’
An unguarded, unlocked door. It felt like a trap. But at the same time, if Matvey had wanted them dead he would have done that last time. Well- he would have tried a little harder then, at least.
Right?
They went in.
The interior of the warehouse was poorly lit. A small backroom; some crates and supplies stacked up along the walls, and two tables standing shoved against each other in the middle of the room. The door leading into the hallway on the wall opposite of them was already open, and Vincent could hear booming, echoing voices from what he could only assume was a larger open area within the building’s walls.
He aimed his gun at the door, briefly glancing behind him as Viktor entered after him and shoved one of the crates in front of the door to keep it ajar. Vitali pushed himself past the tables and glanced into the hallway, then turned to Vincent and gestured for him to follow.
It was too easy. But what else could they do?
The hallway was empty too and seemed to grow in size before Vincent’s eyes, his breathing shallow as they carefully moved through it. The sudden urge to turn around and run away filled his chest; something that rarely happened, but it felt appropriate in the moment.
Of course he was terrified. But again- he was not going to leave Vitali. If it had been the other way round, Vitali wouldn’t have run away either.
The three of them gathered around the next door opening, leading into the central room of the warehouse. Vincent carefully peered inside and counted five mercenaries still present- right at that moment, the front doors swung open and three more entered, but after grabbing some new weapons they left again.
Vincent’s eyes were drawn to the two men loudly talking to each other. One of them was bald, Valentinos tattoos covering his head and neck, and he was dressed in heavy combat armor; the other was skinny and at least a head shorter than the other man, left side of his forehead, temple and his left eye replaced with cyberware, and he was still yelling about as loud if not louder than his associate.
‘Sanders and Dusty,’ Vitali mumbled, a quiet scoff leaving his lips with the statement. ‘Fucking traitor.’
Vincent had seen Sanders once before, on the big screen back at Vitali’s office after one of his escorts had nearly been blown up. He was unfamiliar with Dusty, but had heard his name before, at least- and he was well aware the man was one of the many mercenaries who had left Vitali’s network, only to join Matvey’s instead.
‘Don’t lose focus,’ Viktor quietly responded, positioned next to Vincent. ‘Not what we’re here for.’
So easy to just flatline ‘em, though.
Shut up, Johnny.
Vincent directed his attention to Vitali and watched the expression on his face change. He visibly clenched his jaw and straightened his back again, regaining himself as he nodded, not saying another word about it.
Vincent admired him so much. He knew many people, though none of them had the level of self-restraint in them as Vitali, and especially since he himself still often struggled with controlling himself and his emotions he had immense respect for Vitali and the way he was able to keep it together.
But he was also well aware Vitali had been struggling lately. It was visible in his appearance- the dark rims around his eyes, the dark roots of his hair showing much more prominently than he would usually allow for- and in the way he would sometimes be barely present- either lost inside his own head, or remnants of Arasaka’s brainwashing- yet he was still making it through and handling the situation better than Vincent ever could.
‘Can I help you, gentlemen?’
A familiar voice, right behind them.
Vincent flinched and turned around but was immediately met with Viktor’s back as he stepped in front of him, and Vitali instantly jolted forward and stumbled into the larger room to create as much distance between himself and the voice as possible.
Matvey Dobrynin.
Fuck.
Vincent immediately followed Vitali, raising his gun steadily at the mercenaries inside the moment they looked up in confusion; Dusty immediately raised his own gun too but the others stood unmoving, merely staring at the two of them, and watching as Viktor too entered the room, walking backwards, keeping himself positioned between Vitali and the Broker.
‘Took you long enough,’ Matvey said, his voice booming through the room as he slowly entered after them. ‘Have been expecting you for some hours now. Your priorities lie elsewhere?’
‘Some…situations that required my immediate attention,’ Vitali spat back, steadying himself and cocking his head up, chin pushed forward. ‘As you are most likely well aware.’
‘Vito,’ Vincent quietly mumbled, stepping a little closer until their shoulders were pressed against each other. He was still facing the other way and nervously watched while the mercenaries wandered closer, Dusty up front.
‘So you really are back, huh?’ the short man said, half a smile lingering on his lips as he walked around the two of them, completely unfazed by Vincent’s gun pointed directly at his head. ‘Hey, boss. Missed me?’
The mocking tone of his voice made Vincent’s stomach turn and he instantly noticed a dark shadow washing over Vitali’s face. Dusty was merely staring at him- and the smile on his face only widened upon seeing Vitali’s frustration.
‘Pathetic piece of shit!’ Vitali spat at him and took a step closer- and within seconds the other mercenaries had their guns out too and Vincent grabbed Vitali’s wrist to stop him from moving any closer.
‘Come on, now, Vitali- no need for such language,’ Matvey calmly said, and Vincent finally turned his head to look at him; white shirt, top button undone, no tie, sleeves rolled up, hair pushed back out of his face-
A knot took shape in Vincent’s chest. In appearance, Vitali truly was his father’s son.
‘You have no say in that,’ Vitali said, the sharp edge to his words startling Vincent a little. He had taken a step closer to Vincent again, but the way he composed himself told Vincent he was still ready to attack at any given moment. ‘What happened between me and my mercenaries is none of your fucking business.’
‘I think it is my business, considering they are no longer your mercenaries but mine.’ Matvey gestured at the mercs to lower their guns and they listened instantly- it made Vincent nauseous.
Told you to just flatline ‘em.
Not the time, Johnny.
‘Being upset about my departure is one thing, but turning on me and trying to kill my mercenaries crosses a line,’ Vitali continued, but Dusty instantly cut him off.
‘It’s not about you leaving,’ he said, ‘it’s about us losing our safety net. I couldn’t give a rat’s ass about you running off to wherever you went! But you provided us with a lot more than just cash- and Mikhail sure as hell didn’t follow through with all of that in your absence. Do you have any idea what it’s like to suddenly just be left to your own fucking devices?’
Vitali’s face hardened and he glared in his father’s direction.
‘As a matter of fact, I do.’
The tension in the air surrounding them was suffocating and Vincent briefly lowered his gun as well, arm suddenly a lot heavier than before. He tightened his grip on Vitali’s wrist and he turned to look at Matvey again when said man cleared his throat.
‘It is all in the past now,’ he merely said, and despite it being obvious he was referring to Vitali’s mercenary situation Vincent couldn’t help but notice the heaviness of his words. ‘There is no use in trying to undo what has already been done.’
‘But you can stop!’
Vitali’s voice broke.
‘Stop all of this- this madness!’ he said, wildly gesturing around with his free arm. Vincent was up close enough to notice his eyes filling with tears. ‘Tell your mercenaries to pull back, leave Night City out of this!’
‘This is not all about you, Vitali,’ Matvey slowly said, his voice low.
‘Truly so? I fucking doubt it!’
Vitali’s voice echoed through the room and a strangled sob left his throat.
‘You get fired, and this is what you do?’ he said, and when Vincent let his own hand slip into his, he gratefully interlocked their fingers. ‘And you blame me for it. And you claim I abandoned you- I called! I called every fucking day, dad- I tried to reach out, I didn’t want to- I didn’t want you to-‘
He was unable to finish his sentence.
Vincent’s eyes darted between Vitali and Matvey, breathing shallow and heart beating rapidly in his throat as he watched a shadow wash over the Broker’s face. His expression had changed- yet remained unreadable to Vincent, and he quickly regained himself the moment he realized Vitali was no longer speaking.
‘It was your mother’s decision,’ he bluntly said. ‘But enough of that. I think- this should be enough for now. Sanders, give them the signal. We’re leaving.’
That’s it?
Vincent had no idea what to think anymore.
It had felt like a trap. It had looked like it, too; but now it was suddenly over, just like that, as if it hadn’t even been a big deal to begin with. Not to mention Matvey’s words; telling Vitali it had not been his decision to ignore him after he had left home- what did it change?
‘Not so fast,’ Viktor suddenly said and Vincent’s head snapped up again. Matvey had stepped forward and Viktor had positioned himself in front of him once more, effectively blocking his path.
‘All of this- for what?’ Viktor continued; and Vincent could not help but notice he wasn’t holding his gun anymore. ‘Because you believe your son walked away from you?’
‘One does not walk away from family,’ Matvey instantly spat back, voice slightly raised, and for a second it was as if they were looking at a completely different man the way sudden rage overtook his face. ‘First he left, and then he took everything from us. You have no idea what you are talking about- tread lightly.’
‘Ever wondered why he left?’ Viktor interrupted him. ‘Has it ever occurred to you that maybe you had somethin’ to do with that? Or that maybe you getting fired was out of his control?’
‘Vik, stop,’ Vitali quietly said, but the ripperdoc didn’t hear him and instead took a step closer, to the point the mercenaries, who had started to turn away, stopped in their tracks and turned back, watching them carefully.
‘Kids grow up,’ he slowly said. ‘Leave the nest at some point in their lives. You know what sounds like abandonment to me? Not answering their calls. Ignoring their attempts to connect. Feels like you got some o’ the detes of your story twisted, dad.’
Everything happened so fast.
Matvey swung at Viktor but was too slow and Viktor caught his punch with ease- then balled his fist and went for a swing himself and he hit Matvey right on his nose. Vitali flinched when it happened, and the mercenaries all started yelling, reaching for their weapons once more.
Vincent instantly looked up at the hanging ceiling lights above their heads, rapidly scanned them and triggered a quickhack- the bulbs exploded all at once, causing the mercs to scatter before they could fire any shots; and he jolted forward, pushing himself past Viktor and Matvey and dragging Vitali along with him, back into the hallway, to safety.
‘Fuck!’ Vitali cried out and tugged on Vincent’s hand as if he was trying to slow him down, but Vincent was having none of it. With all of his strength he managed to drag Vitali back to the room they had entered the building through and they stumbled back outside, the sunlight briefly blinding him.
‘We have to go back,’ Vitali said, his voice still unstable. He stumbled back towards the door, but it instantly swung open again and Viktor barged outside, seemingly unscathed, startling Vitali to the point he jumped back into Vincent.
‘What the fuck was that about?’ Vincent yelled, nearly losing his balance from the impact of Vitali’s body against his own. He wasn’t even angry, Matvey had it coming- but they had gotten what they had come for and if anything this had just put them in unnecessary danger.
‘Someone had to do it,’ Viktor simply responded, briefly glancing behind him. ‘I don’t think they’re comin’ after us, but- let’s bounce before more show.’
Vincent was speechless.
He sucked in a deep breath and tried to get his heartbeat to slow down but his body was having none of it, still believing they were in danger- and truly, he had no idea if they were safe or not. They had been inside for such a short period of time, yet so much fucking happened- and he couldn’t wrap his head around it.
And like that, they were walking away again.
But it did not feel right.
Vincent remained silent as he walked, eyes glued on Vitali, a little bit ahead of him. He was walking fast; visibly struggling a little, despite the leg brace, but he said nothing of it as they made their way through the street again, back to where he had parked his car.
Vincent’s dad loved his job too.
A little too much, if you’d asked Vincent- to the point he would always excitedly tell his wife and four kids about the crimes he had solved that day over dinner, in such great and vivid detail it would almost make you wonder if he was even allowed to talk about all of that.
And- highly unsuitable for kids, of course. Vincent could perfectly recall many occasions in which he’d ended up with nightmares because of the overly graphic stories of his asshole cop of a father, and to say he cared about his old man would be a fat fucking lie. It’s why he had not bothered to try and stay in touch with his parents, after he had left home.
But he knew that if Richard had been fired for whatever reason, he would not have put the blame on any of his kids. And he knew- it had happened before, when his brother Jason had suddenly left home when Vincent was twelve- he knew he would never accuse them of abandoning the family, even if they were to leave in a hurry, even if they would never call again.
But at the same time, if Richard had been in Matvey’s position, doing what he did- endangering Vincent’s friends, seemingly hunting them down for sports- Vincent would not have hesitated to deal with him the easy way.
It was a complicated situation. Vincent did not know all the details on Vitali and Matvey’s relationship and from what he could gather it was a lot more complicated than he had initially assumed. If it had been up to Vincent, he would have already pulled the trigger-
But it was not up to him. At the end of the day, Vitali was still his boss- but he was also his boyfriend, his best friend. Vincent had no right to make that decision for him.
He bit the inside of his lip and briefly glanced behind him at the warehouse. He noticed several cars driving in their direction and he immediately reached for his weapon again, readying himself for another fight- but the cars stopped at the warehouse and the mercs who had still been inside left the building.
Matvey was nowhere to be seen.
It would be so easy- so easy to turn back and go back inside, attack him when he’s all by himself- but when Vincent looked back at Vitali and noticed his clenched, shaking fists and the thousand yard stare plastered on his face, he knew it was of no use to try and suggest it to him.
So instead he jogged up to him and gently took his hand again, thumb reassuringly running over the back of his hand as he gave it a light squeeze, and he allowed Vitali to slightly lean in to him while they walked for support.
‘We got what we came for,’ he quietly said, leaning in to give Vitali a kiss on his cheek. ‘It’s over- for now.’
‘I don’t know,’ Vitali quietly replied. He briefly looked at Vincent, but was unable to hold his gaze and he quickly turned his head again, eyes wandering off to the distance as a shallow exhale left his chest.
‘I have a bad feeling about this.’
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Vitali’s head hurt.
They’d arrived at a rendezvous a few minutes ago- a small apartment in Japantown, sometimes used as a safehouse by Vitali’s mercs- and had reunited with Shiro, Huxley and Panam and her squad. Viktor had sat himself down on the couch the moment they’d entered and had not moved since; and Vincent was in the kitchen, slowly trying to wash some dried up blood off his arms.
Had Vitali been a little more present, he would have helped him.
But he was lost inside his own thoughts, standing at the window and staring down onto the busy streets as his eyes darted from the left to the right, looking- searching, for anything out of the ordinary, anything that would tell him his father’s mercenaries had decided to get back to work.
It had all stopped, after they had visited the warehouse. Lauren had reported back to Vitali, telling him the ongoing confrontations had stopped and she was gathering footage of the sudden retreat, to hopefully be able to trace it all to a single location for their next move; whatever that would be.
He was cold.
Freezing, actually- it was a decent temperature outside and the apartment was full enough at the time to warm up by itself, yet Vitali found himself shivering and he could barely feel his fingertips.
He did not understand Matvey’s anger. It was unreasonable to the point Vitali could barely believe he was awake; truly all of this, because he had left home? Because his parents had been fired, indirectly because of him?
He took everything from us.
A soft, sudden scoff left Vitali’s lips, startling himself. Everything- yet money-wise Matvey was still doing just fine, business-wise too, and despite it all he still had his wife and daughter.
Was he truly so blinded by his hatred for Vitali to see?
‘Fuck you,’ Vitali mumbled to nobody in particular and dropped his head against the cold glass of the window with a little bit more force than he had meant for. ‘All I ever did was try.’
Words he wished he could say to him. Words he wished he could have said to him a long time ago; but he had simply never been able to, whether it was because he was too afraid or because Matvey wasn’t listening or because he just wasn’t there.
All he had ever done was try, and now he was doubting it. Had any of it been worth it? Was it still worth it? Wouldn’t it be easier to just give up?
But what would happen then? Vitali still had his friends relying on him; he still had his business to take care of, and the Council was also still there, expecting him to take care of his responsibilities despite rarely taking care of their own. Would he move on, pretend nothing was happening?
How many more people would get injured? How many more people would die?
Vitali turned his head to look at Viktor. He still hadn’t moved- leaning back into the cushions, head resting on top, eyes fixed on the ceiling- expression unreadable, but Vitali knew he was mostly just trying to catch his breath.
He had punched Matvey. It’d given Vitali a visceral reaction- but he was unsure why.
He kept his eyes on the ripperdoc as the events from earlier began replaying in his head. He did not understand why Matvey had let them walk away again; did not understand why it had been so easy to get him to stop. He doubted Matvey had been so moved by what Vitali had said to him that it had changed his mind- no, it had all been planned, like a game of chess, once again one step ahead of him-
But for what? Why had it been so easy?
Vitali felt his heartbeat begin to speed up again and quickly redirected his attention to the TV, biting the inside of his cheek until he tasted blood. But if anything, it made him feel worse; the news was showing footage of the attacks of earlier that day and his stomach turned.
A fixer, dead. Plenty of mercenaries as well- some well-known names even, though Vitali had not even bothered to ask who the fixer in question was. Nobody on the Council at least- he wouldn’t have stopped hearing about it if so.
He knew Matvey had bigger plans for all of Night City, yet for some reason he still felt responsible. It was still his father, after all- but at the same time his father’s problems with the city were not Vitali’s fault. Not in the slightest.
The others were talking too loud. Too much noise surrounding him- and his breath got caught in his throat and his eyes started burning again, tears welling up in the corners as his environment finally overwhelmed him to the point he felt like he was going to either throw up or pass out.
No situation had ever done this to him before. The aftermath of the Heist came close; yet somehow this was worse, much worse, and drawing comparisons with the failed gig from the year before was not helping either.
‘Vitali? I think you should…turn on the TV for a sec.’
Vitali blinked upon hearing Lauren’s voice and he quickly regained himself, exhaling sharply as he pushed the thoughts out of his head. He walked over to the coffee table, then grabbed the remote and turned up the volume. The second he did, the others all went quiet instantly and directed their attention to it as well.
‘Lauren, what’s happening? Talk to me,’ Vitali said, not patient enough to try and piece the situation together from listening to the reporter.
‘NCPD’s investigating the attacks, MaxTac on the scene as well,’ Lauren quickly replied. ‘Looking into the source of the problem- where the mercs are coming from.’
A silence washed over the room and the puzzle pieces slowly began clicking together in Vitali’s head, and a sharp exhale left his body as he stumbled back until he hit the wall next to the window he’d been standing at.
‘They don’t have much to go on, but the Council does,’ Lauren quietly continued. ‘Pickin’ up chatter from within the network- lots of your old mercenaries, right?’
She did not need to say more, really.
‘They’re tracing the attacks back to you, jefe.’
No.
Vitali shook his head, as if Lauren could see him; as if it would change anything; as if it would set everything right. And he laughed- truly it was just a joke, right? The Council couldn’t really believe that he was behind all this; why would they?
He looked at his friends, and the smile faded from his face. They were all looking at him- some worried- some scared.
Were they scared of him?
‘What are they saying?’ Vitali quietly asked, eyes finding Vincent’s; his boyfriend could not hold his gaze and quickly looked away.
‘Talkin’ about your time with Arasaka. Both when you worked for them, and- last year. I get the sense they don’t know what happened there. Don’t know about the brainwashing.’
‘Rogue knows, she was there!’ A pause, a deep breath. No need to raise his voice. ‘I- I’m sorry. Can you connect me through?’
‘Don’t think so. It’s not a direct connection- just tellin’ you what I’m picking up “he-said-that-she-said” style. I can ping them to arrange a meeting, if you’d like?’
Vitali was no longer able to answer her.
He took everything from us.
He slowly walked forward, eyes still locked on the TV screen as it showed him footage of the burning docks of Wellsprings. Each step he took, his leg protested painfully, and he nearly lost his balance a couple of times.
The Council blaming Vitali for these attacks would have dire consequences for him, and he was well aware. The sole purpose of the gathering of fixers was to ensure the safety of the innocent people of Night City, and if they believed Vitali was behind the attacks they would put a price on his head.
He would lose everything.
‘He isn’t trying to kill you,’ Viktor suddenly quietly said, and Vitali couldn’t stop a single tear from rolling down his cheek.
‘He’s trying to take everything away from you.’
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swordsonnet · 1 year
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#ive tried multiple times to write down my thoughts on this but my brain is just too scattered and it comes out all jumbled#but here's another attempt i guess#so yeah ive read the medium article about rusty quill. i'm absolutely gutted.#i suppose it's not super surprising but still. i hadnt expected it to be this bad#ive never really cared about rq as a company tbh but i do care about tma! a lot!#its been my special interest for almost 2 years now and if you're not autistic#(or hell maybe even if you are autistic - everyone experiences autism differently ofc)#i dont think you understand what that means. its not just a show i like. its like a part of my identity#its helped me through some really tough times and i can't begin to describe how happy it made me#when a continuation was announced just as i was once again going through some bullshit#i really want to still be excited about tmp because it really is so important to me#and tbh i dont think there's anything wrong with still enjoying tma/tmp? you can like sth and still be critical of the company behind it#and tma was written and created by jonny and not alex so i do sorta see it as its own thing and not just sth made by rq#but i keep seeing people on here acting like you have to boycott tmp (or even tma) now and that just makes me really upset#ill cancel my patreon and withdraw my kickstarter pledge and all#because i dont want to financially support rq unless they make some significant changes and commit to them#but i still want to engage with my special interest! need to really because thats just the way my brain works#and sticking to fandom content wont work for me because a lot of tma fandom stuff just... isnt my cup of tea#i'll take it as an addition to canon but not as a replacement#maybe i should just stop listening to what other people say#but its really difficult to deal with all this negativity about sth that means so much to me#might take a break from tumblr for a while for the sake of my mental health#i feel silly for being so upset about this but it is what it is#sometimes i do wish i had a different brain#anyway sorry for the rant#if you read this far: i love you. have some flowers 🌼🌻🌺🌹🌸🌷💐
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murobrown · 7 months
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#it's that time of the month when I just want to sell my uterus on black market with human organs#the week leading up to my period is far more worse than the actual period#it made me gain 2 kg and I can't stop freaking out about it...i know i lose them every month but my brain won't leave me alone#it's making me want to starve myself or just work out until i collapse#tmi sorry...how is your Friday evening?#I'm bored and I'm deciding between going to bed before 11 pm or let my brain torture me a little bit more#I don't even think I'm excited about the weekend anymore because it means I'll have to eat again#you just eat and work out and eat and work out and try not think about the calories because we're not doing thay anymore#but deep down my brain still knows the numbers and won't let me go over 900 calories#i perfected my body but destroyed my head even more#i shouldn't say thay but maybe it's worth it#feeling happy in my own skin is the best feeling in the world#and I know I'm shallow because of that but for the first time in my life i like my body#i actually like all parts of my body#and knowing that i did it with all that hard work feels even better#but on the other hand now I'm just too scared I'm going to lose it all if I eat a cookie after lunch#i think I'm too deep into this#is it bad that I like the feeling of bones under my skin?#am I becoming delusional?#that's what a menstrual cycle does to a emotionally unstable woman#it makes me feel angry that out of four weeks in a month i get like max two weeks when I feel good and normal#all of that for nothing#anyway maybe it's time to stop myself..
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gentlethorns · 11 months
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fuck dude i have got to find a job where i can be self-employed and creative. i cannot be in fucking retail hell anymore
#she bork#tbd#like now i don't deal w customers which is cool but now that i work at like a big retail store and not a little mall outlet the pressure is#insane. and i have bosses who never say good job or thank you and who have set me up to fail by throwing a department on me that i was not#hired to run or trained for and frankly don't have time to run properly either. so every week just starts w me in our weekly meeting being a#fucking piñata like 'why didn't you get this done 🤨 you need to manage your time better 🤨 you're losing sales 🤨' and i'm like i'm trying!!!!#what more can i do!!!!!! and then the side of it i actually kind of enjoy (which is what i was originally hired to do) is very very hard on#my body bc it's a very physical job (i run the team that unloads the trucks every day and like i'm usually helping unload bc i'm not just#gonna stand there and watch while my team busts their asses lol) and now i'm finding out that it's actually not normal to wake up every day#w your joints screaming and stiff and that i might have a chronic condition (doctor is thinking some sort of chronic inflammatory arthritis#but i won't know if my imaging and blood tests showed anything until like mid-june) and i'm like. so even the part of my job that i don't#mind as much is not good bc it's like actively destroying my body. okay sick 🤠 and i don't wanna quit bc i've only been there for like#eight months and this job would be really valuable on a resume but i don't want it to look like i'm a job hopper or like i'm fickle or#unreliable. so i'm stuck here for a while i think. but the pressure is destroying me mentally and i know i need to find a position somewhere#else that is 1. not fucking goddamn retail bc retail will always be hell and 2. not management bc i don't see myself ever really getting#into upper management but lower/middle management gets shit on the most so if i go somewhere else and end up in middle management i'll be#right back to wanting to kill myself in a matter of months. basically i'm tired of expectations and pressure and stress and i'm tired of#waking up at fucking 2:30 every morning just to go in and get shit on and destroy my body all over something that in the end i do not fuckin#care about. i need to make art and be held accountable by only myself. idk i've been toying w the idea of learning how to tattoo and trying#to start establishing some artistic skill so maybe eventually i can do that? not now bc the economy sucks and that's scary lol and anyway i#have to give myself some time to actually learn the skill and perfect a style. but it makes decent money (at least before the expense of#supplies and taxes) and allows you to travel and still work and also it would be fun. and i could tattoo myself so it would cut some#expenses for me since i cannot stay away from the damn needle. idk lol i need to save some money before i buy a tattoo gun or anything but#i'm considering it bc i am going fucking crazy rn and ik this feeling will leave me eventually but i also know it will come back bc it#always does. and i'm tired of just surviving and just making it through every day and every week like i want to be happy and this is just#not doing it for me anymore#ugh fuck why couldn't i have been born w a brain that likes numbers and code and technology. i love being an artist but it makes finding a#sustainable career really difficult bc i feel so restless and miserable when i'm stuck in a passionless job but my passions are not#particularly profitable. hate it here why wasn't i born a capybara no job no responsibility just squint and squeak and sun
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idk how to phrase this but I wish there was a way for me to filter out fics on ao3 that describe Bill as "incapable of feeling love" in a "woe is me, the nonhuman character cannot feel this random emotion, Ford would be so much happier if only Bill was Capable of Feeling Love" way
#godsrambles#people are allowed to write ford thinking this way. its not like 1980s science man ford would know anything about aro identities#i just personally cant deal with running into this specific thing again in fics about these two.#i cant do it im not strong enough.#maybe bc i partly approach this ship in an escapist way of 'imagine 2 weird guys who dont care about amatonormative relationship standards'#i love angst i just cant stand being Suddenly hit on the head with the hammer of:#'no matter how much bill cares in his own way no matter what bill does ford will still be sad that he cant feel Love' in fic after fic#'ford might TELL bill its okay but deep down he would really be happier if bill felt love the Right Way'#cant stop thinking about this. its come up at least 3 times in 3 separate fics. and they are well written ones too.#give me angst about Anything else. Please. Anything Else#but i cant even read new fics on ao3 at the moment bc theres a nonzero chance I'll run into this AGAIN.#it is simply Not For Me. its fine for people to write angst from that angle i just want a wider range of content about nonhuman characters#i just am tired of it being such a Common Thing brought up with villains monsters and nonhumans#the issue is the Trend not any individual writing it#which is why ive been so reluctant to even voice my frustration. bc its really honestly not any one fic writers fault#i also want to give people the benefit of the doubt. its *possible* for ford to subconsciously see monstrousness and lack of ability to#-love as connected without the *author* subconsciously thinking it also. its just. complicated and hard to know#i just want to be able to filter it out so i stop getting hit with reminders that the ability to love is seen as a key part of being human#by so many people#it stings even more with it being *ford* thinking these things too#like. fords Whole Thing is embracing abnormality and strangeness.#so if even *he* cant fully embrace being with someone who doesnt feel Love... :(
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solradguy · 2 years
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My jacket shipped 8) 
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monster-noises · 2 years
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for your pick of the OC litter: 🌹🌾🌠
WHOOPS I'm a Feeew Daaays Late My apologies! It was Webcomic Day on twitter today so I'm gunna do these for my WIP webcomic MC's Haggarty and Paug!
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🌹 Where in the world does your OC feel most at home? Is there any reason why? If it’s not the place they were born, where were they born? Is there a certain somebody that makes them feel at home where ever they may be? What does home mean to them?
Haggarty is well known as a bit of a quiet little home body, and his favourite place in the world is, suitably, the farm by the woods he and his family live on and tend. (they're part of a larger nearby community and the more central but further away township of Tethlewood, but their farm is the the furthest out) It is a place full of love and warmth, with his family and good rewarding work, where he doesn't have to worry about keeping up with other people too much (namely his twin brother Rantham's group of friends) and he can just relax and exist, unburdened by the expectations of strangers - the locational equivalent of a warm soft blanket made for you personally. I would imagine he would basically also feel at home anywhere so long as his family was around though! Paug is more of a city slicker, living in the (fallen, long abandoned) great city/kingdom of Althuum (or what's left of it..) In the past he would spend the days shirking his classes and responsibilities at the royal university (He was born in a kingdom across the sea and came to Althuum to attend what was basically a Mage's University) to perform magic tricks in the streets and just generally get into mischief/mucking about, but he always found himself coming back to the cabin of the local, very powerful, witch; Genevieve. She took Paug under her wing as something of an unofficial apprentice, and he knew no matter what he got up he could always come back and expect food and a place to rest (though he could also expect a good amount of finger wagging for whatever trouble he got himself into). It was a place he could go that he felt welcomed and un-judged, respected even, similarly to Haggarty, it was a place of warmth. In more modern times (several centuries in the future when the fate of the great Althuum has crumbled into myth and folklore) he would love to be able to go back and stay in the cabin, even though Genevieve is no longer there, but unfortunately it is far too risky a move given his.. Situation. ;)
🌾 Describe your OC through the eyes of someone absolutely head-over-heels in love with them
Just the sweetest kindest softest soul the world could ever create, The epitome of "could never hurt a fly", except you'd be wrong, because for how ever softly he loves he will protect just as fiercely. He may not have the same brash and bravado as other folks, but he's got the heart and will of a hero. Once you get to know him, get past all the flourishes and dazzling non-sense. Paug is actually.. so very very heartfelt, he wants nothing more than to help, to be there for people and bring good things with him. He's so full of energy, and wonder and excitement, it's almost intoxicating...
🌠 On a scale of 1 - 10 how Baby is your OC? BONUS when asking this question rate the OC yourself as see if the reply matches up!!
dfghkdfg I don't think either of them are really all That baby.. Haggarty definitely scores higher because of his whole dewey-eyes ultra fluffy sweet-and-innocent vibe, but he's also genuinely very capable and clever so he's not like baby Baby.. so maybe like a 6? Paug is Definitely not baby, so he gets like a 1.
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orcelito · 2 years
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Honestly I might skip ahead and start working on that 4th scene tonight bc it'll a: be easier, and b: it has CONSUMED my mind
The promise of instant gratification of a simple scene that means so much is so much more alluring than the 2 and 3 that are going to be So difficult to write, actually
#speculation nation#discacc shit#TECHNICALLY i kinda split the first part of 2 into its own thing so we have a 1.5 thats what im calling it.#since it relates directly to stuff in scene 1 and is separate in both time and content from the rest of scene 2#so i didnt originally mean it to be its own thing but it's gonna be. scene 1.5. aka akira's thoughts on scene 1 basically lol#scene 2 is necessary group scene bc they gotta touch base lol & figure out what theyre doing next#scene 3 will be Fun but also SO hard to write. as these things often are.#finally gonna be consulting that Goro Skills document i made back at the start of discacc and only really used for a few chapters#bc theres not been much reason to see goro in the metaverse since then. it's just him doing as him does#but i went through all the skills he can learn with both robin hood and loki. AND his skills in his boss fight#to create a concrete compilation of skills for his personas to reasonably know#tho im gonna follow the logic of robin hood being weaker than loki due to disuse. aka why robin hood starts out around the same level#as the pts. with sae's palace.#which you COULD argue was him holding back but also futaba fuckin has tabs on all that shit. she KNOWS what level he is.#so discacc goro has loki at level. uhh. idk 70 maybe?#start of sae's palace i think is level like 50?? tho level wise the pts are only a bit into okumura's palace#so like. level 40 or 45 ish maybe. i'll have to double check what i said for end of futaba's palace.#man it's been a WHILE since ive had to think about the party's relative strengths#it's not like im quantifying it for actual gameplay. im gonna fudge as much as i want to do what i need to. narratively.#but it's good to have an idea of how strong they are to know how they would stand up against certain challenges. stuff like that.#which yes metaverse is relevant. but no one's surprised bc i mentioned pt training with the last Next Time thing so lol#but yea i have Thoughts. and i will. do them...#but FIRST. i will be doing the 4th scene. bc i need to stress akira out even more apparently.
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medicinemane · 30 days
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The problem with people who are "right" because they insist they're right, and the only way to be right is to simply perfectly follow their every dictation on the subject unquestioningly is this...
Ok, let's just take it as a given that you're right... the problem here is that if that's what's right I'm afraid I have to dig my heels into being wrong. If you are as righteous and just as you insist you are then I've got no choice but to be the villain because I can't stand what you're saying I'd have to do to be good
Shockingly I even think it's wrong, which is odd because we've already defined it that you're inherently and unassailably right... yet here we are
Worst part is there's a lot of these things where I'm not even full stop against it, I actually might be on their side if they could stop and address a couple of issues I consider kind of important... but they won't, because they're morally right and don't have time for addressing nonexistent issues I'm clearly just dreaming up
Undoubtedly right they are, the defect must surely be my own... and yet here we are. Vile and wicked as it might make me, I still can't just go along with you
#mm tag so i can find things later#and whatever you think this is about and however you've already decided it agrees with you#I'll say this is about like... minimum 2 topics at very different points in the political spectrum... and probably like 20 easy#so like... it may well be talking about your own behavior on certain subjects#I'm talking about not even being willing to entertain good faith questions#and especially about labeling anyone who doesn't tow your exact party line a horrible person#...the amount of shit where it's like 'you know I actually agree with you... except for this one major sticking point'#'just tell me how we deal with this one pretty big thing and I'm fully on board' and... well actually you're terrible for that#or the amount of places where it's like I agree with your goals; but not your methods but... I don't think arguing would do a damn thing#you've already dug your heels in so deep and maybe you're even right to do it.. but I'll never go along with it no matter what that makes m#and the number of overall good people I know who this post is honestly about#they may well be far better than I am; I've never claimed to be good; quite the opposite#and yet I'm afraid I have to say that... to me you're wrong; wrong in concrete ways#maybe you could even address my concerns and help me see with my stupid brain why these aren't issues... but you won't#because you're right; and you know you're right; and so you'll never be wrong#and this isn't just some idle whataboutism... or maybe it is; I'll never say I'm the moral arbiter; again I could be wickedly wrong#and there's a variety of reasons someone believes what they believe; but... there's often blind dogma at the end#I may be stupid; but I can usually draw a line from my stance to something in the world#maybe it's a stupid nonsense line and I don't see my mental gymnastics... very well could be#but I can draw a line... it's not just circular logic; it's not just bouncing between two points#and I often can actually point to places I'm not happy with how things are or will be... we live in the real world and that sucks#example that... man it's more politically charged than I like getting; but ok#I really want this Ukrainian aid to pass even though I don't like the Israeli aid attached... but I get that's the only way it's passing#I want the Ukraine aid because I see residential houses getting stuck by missiles; but I don't want the Israeli aid for the same reason#and it comes down to that I think that the aid amount is sufficiently higher to Ukraine to make it enough of a net positive#I could be wrong... but you can at least see my work; I'm coming at it from a perspective of bombing civilians is wrong#I could be stupid; I could point to two people I know on here who would tell me I'm stupid for at least one part of this... probably all#yet there it is... and... it'll be hard to convince me otherwise
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