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#maybe i'll keep it open just in case the urge strikes me to continue it eventually.
orcelito · 17 days
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i miss akechi goro so much. maybe even enough to finally finish that ladue chapter 3
#speculation nation#ladue shit#listen hes such an asshole and i NEEEEEEED to channel his voice for a bit again#if this urge persists to tomorrow i'll crack open the fic again. for a little reread.#this will satisfy only approximately 53 people (the total subscribers to that fic)#which ok that's actually a good few people when i think about them as actual people#but it's the least amount of subscriptions i have out of most of my multichapters#EVEN STILL. it's a matter of pride and self-satisfaction.#and god fucking damn i have 18k for chapter 3 already written. i literally just need to close the damn scene up#it's been over a YEAR NOWWWWWWWWWW like holy fucking shit. i need this OUT ALREADYYYYYYYYYYY#ladue chapter 3 i will free you into the abyss. i cannot promise more than chapter 3 but i can promise a chapter 3 at least.#i had a whole plan for the fic but idk if i'll ever be able to write it#considering it's taken like. ... years. between chapters.#it took me 2 years to post chapter 2 and it's been a year now since then. ugh.#see the thing is chapter 3 closes the initial arc of them starting to date. and then there's more stuff.#maybe i'll keep it open just in case the urge strikes me to continue it eventually.#and if it never does. i might make a 4th chapter that outlines the eventual plans i had for the fic. so that people know at least.#ive seen that a Few times for discontinued fics.#....but the thing is i dont want to mark any of my fics discontinued!!!! theyre all my darlings!!! i want to go back to them all eventually#i'll just have to see. if a chapter 4 ends up taking several more years. well. maybe it'll be time to call it there. who fucking knows lol#i'll try to get chapter 3 finished sometime soon though. i really want to have it out already.
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runnerfangirl · 7 years
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Chapters: 1/1
Words: 6390
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Fandom: Shadowhunters (TV)
Relationship: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Characters: Magnus Bane, Alec Lightwood, Valentine Morgenstern, Jace Wayland
Additional Tags: Episode: s02e15 A Problem of Memory, Magnus Bane’s Cat Eyes, Warlock Marks (Shadowhunter Chronicles), Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Light Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst
Summary: Magnus didn't know how it happened that fast. One second, he was standing beside Alexander, hands intertwined tightly; and a second later, he was almost killing Valentine by lashing out with his magic.
This was not how Magnus had planned his night going, and most importantly, this was not how he had planned to show Alexander his warlock mark.
When Salted Tears Won’t Dry, I’ll Wipe My Shirtsleeves Under Your Eyes
Alec stood at the back, next to Magnus, as the other Shadowhunters bound Valentine into the chair. The same chair he had tied Magnus and almost let the Inquisitor kill him, in the same room he had pushed Magnus against the wall and didn't believe him.
No, Alec thought, now is not the time. He had to clear his mind and be there for his warlock, now.
Jace was inside the cell with others to make sure that Valentine wouldn't try anything. But Alec had a feeling that no matter how many Shadowhunters were next to Valentine, they were never safe with that murderer in the same room as they are. Alec resisted to the urge to take Magnus into his arms and go back to their home to cuddle with his boyfriend, to keep him as far as he can from the harm's way.
The hazel-eyed Shadowhunter turned his once-again drifted gaze back to his adopted brother and the man who had raised him. It seemed like Valentine was speaking to get to the Jace's nerves as always. Alec wished nothing but his brother to strangle the man to death. A small, satisfied smirk appeared on his lips when the blond boy pulled his arm back, only to punch Valentine square in the face. The man's face turned sideways with the force, and Alec dreaded his brother's actions only when Valentine's eyes locked onto the warlock beside him.
Magnus stiffened and took in a sharp breath when he saw Valentine's eyes trained on him, the same eyes he saw when he had looked for his reflection on the glass, just weeks ago. Memories flooded into his mind when their eyes met and anger enveloped Magnus' whole being. He felt like he could burn the world down if it meant that the man would be dead. He noticed someone had taken his hand in theirs, and then Magnus turned back from his train of thoughts.
The warlock flinched slightly and Alec instantly regretted reaching for his boyfriend's hand. He didn't want to be the reason of Magnus' distress -any more than he was already- but holding his hand was the first thing that came to his mind when Alec saw orange and red sparks coming out from Magnus' trembling hands.
Relief overpowered the regret in the boy's mind when Magnus turned to him and gave the tiniest of smiles.
"It's going to be okay." Alec mouthed and squeezed their intertwined hands as if to say the unspoken words. I'm here.
When the warlock turned his gaze back to the cell Alec followed the motion. Jace was now strapping Valentine's forehead tightly to the headrest of the chair. Everyone in the cell had one of their hands on their blade's hilts, ready to attack the second something went wrong. One of the guards started to wheel Valentine's chair out of the cell and Alec squeezed Magnus' hand instead of talking. It was now his turn to open a portal to Idris. The warlock nodded slightly and flicked his hand, which was not intertwined in Alec's, and the Shadowhunter only felt the whoosh of air before a portal opened with the view of Idris undulating in it.
When Alec was looking for a warlock to open a portal for Valentine's transport, calling for Magnus hadn’t even crossed his mind as an option. After everything that had happened with Azazel's summoning, Alec, as the Head of the Institute, forbade everyone from asking something from Magnus. He was searching for another warlock, but once he told his boyfriend about sending Valentine to Idris, he was not able to talk him out of opening the portal. Alec didn’t want to push Magnus much into anything; it was his decision as the High Warlock of Brooklyn. (And maybe, he also needed to do this as Magnus Bane.)
The second Magnus agreed to help them with Valentine, Alec started to consider everything that could go wrong with Valentine and Magnus being in the same room. Even if he was the most authorized person in the Institute, Alec never left Magnus' side through the whole transportation, as he had planned. The hazel-eyed boy had his seraph blade tucked in his thigh-holster, and there was another dagger hidden in his boots. His bow and quiver were also strapped to his back, already glamoured. Jace was always close to Valentine, partly because he had told Alec that he wanted to be the one closest to him in case he tried something, and partly because Jace was the only person Alec trusted enough to help him protect Magnus if something happened. Almost half of the Institute was in the room of the cell, just as Alec had told them to be; and most of the Shadowhunters were standing between Valentine's cell and Magnus, just as Alec had placed them to stand. All the doors in the room were locked with Alec's stele, and the elevator was shut down. The only way out of the room was through the portal, which would lead them to Idris.
Alec had precautions for every single thing Valentine could do. If he tried to escape, if he tried to fight back, if he tried to hurt Magnus... He hadn't, however, thought about Valentine talking to them.
In his consciousness, Alec had probably thought that someone would gag him to prevent him from talking to anyone. When he saw Valentine being wheeled out of his cell, his eyes locked on the spot between the portal and Magnus with a dangerous smirk on his lips, he was both swearing to himself and the other Shadowhunters for not thinking about gagging the prisoner. Alec was watching Valentine cautiously, ready to strike any second, and he was still holding Magnus' hands to encourage both himself and his boyfriend.
Nothing happened until Jace brought Valentine's chair in front of the portal, but the second they came to a stop before Alec and Magnus, the boy detested every single second he hadn't used to prevent Magnus from coming to the Institute. Valentine blinked at the portal with a smirk, as if they weren't sending him to his death, and then turned to Alec with a wider smirk on his lips.
"Alexander Lightwood," said Valentine, in a tone you would tell a tale. "Robert and Maryse's eldest child. Now, the Head of the Institute, as I see. Lightwoods have always been so loyal..." He let out a sigh. "I have no idea how their son came out to be a fag who's dating with a filthy warlock. Much less, how he became the Head of the Institute."
"Don't you dare," Alec growled and his hand reached out to the hilt of his sword. He squeezed Magnus' hand, and unconsciously, he pushed the warlock behind him. "You don't get to talk about him."
Deep down, Alec knew that was what Valentine wanted. To get him angry, to get onto his nerves... But he couldn't care in that moment, he wasn't going to let that psychopath talk about his boyfriend. Valentine turned his gaze towards Magnus before he started to talk again.
"Disgusting warlock," he spat out. And in the same moment, Alec took his blade out and Jace pulled Valentine's bindings tighter with a growl. "Shut up!"
Valentine continued, not caring about the blade Alec pointed at him. "Useless creature... In need of a weak Shadowhunter's protection to survive. I'm so glad that I'm out of your hideous body. I'd never rather be a half-demon, even if it gives me my freedom."
Alec was tempted to kill Valentine right there, right now. He was about to tilt his sword and rest it right under the man's chin, but he stopped when Magnus' hand abruptly left his.
"Don't you dare..." Magnus took a few steps forward. "...talk about that." Another step.
"Why? Are you scared? Are the memories chasing you?" said Valentine with a smug smirk. He lowered his voice as he continued. "Do you still remember how it was to be stuck between four walls? When no one believes you? Are you still haunted by the memories of your boyfriend not recognizing your soul in another body? How he almost let you get killed-"
"Enough!" Magnus shouted, and a ball of magic expanded from his hands through the whole room. Alec was blinded by the blue light for a second; when his vision cleared he saw Valentine struggling to breathe, and dark red sparks of magic swirling around Magnus' fingers. All the Shadowhunters were looking at the two with surprise and horror, some with disgust, but Alec was too busy watching Magnus' encounter with Valentine to notice.
"Are you... going to kill me? Huh?" The prisoner snarled. He didn't seem to be bothered by the warlock cutting off his airways. "In front of all these Shadowhunters? In front of your boyfriend?" He spat out the last word as if it left a horrible taste in his mouth. "Go on, kill me! Show them what a demon you are!"
Magnus thrusted his hand out, palm facing Valentine, and made the man's back smack to the chair. Alec heard a sharp intake of breath and when he looked ahead, he saw the Shadowhunters across the room looking at Magnus with fear in their eyes. Now, Valentine was struggling too hard to form coherent sentences, but the fear Alec saw wasn't caused by that. There was something else.
"Magnus," Alec called out and reached for his boyfriend's hand. In another condition, he would have let the warlock to kill the man without a thought; but now, he had a mission and it was to transport Valentine to Idris, in one piece. "Magnus, stop." The Shadowhunter let his hand rest on the warlock's shoulder, but his boyfriend didn't even seem to be aware of it. "Mags, please, stop." he muttered, and squeezed the man's shoulder lightly to bring him to awareness. When it didn't work either, Alec took a step next to his boyfriend and turned to look at him in the eyes.
His breath hitched, and suddenly, Alec understood why the other Shadowhunters looked so frightened.
Magnus' cat eyes were fully on display and trained on Valentine. Golden eyes were shining with anger and hatred, looking even more dangerous with the red sparks of magic reflecting on them. Alec lowered his hand from Magnus' shoulder to hold his hand and gripped tightly. He let the blade in his hand drop to the floor, and rested his now-empty hand on his boyfriend's cheek, turning his face to look him in the eyes.
"Mags, you have to stop. Please." His words finally seemed to bring the warlock to awareness. Magnus dropped his hands and let his magic vanish into thin air, leaving a heavy-breathing Valentine after him. He took a few steps back, pulling away from Alec's touch. When the Shadowhunter looked into Magnus' unglamoured eyes, he saw pain and fear before his glamour came back up, hiding the warlock's feelings behind two brown orbs.
Magnus opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Noticing his boyfriend's struggle, Alec tightened his hold on Magnus' hand in reassurance and started to draw small circles on the back of his hand with his thumb. "It's okay," Alec muttered, only for Magnus' ears to hear, and gave him a small smile before turning his attention back to Valentine. Without letting the man utter a single word out, he ordered to the closest Shadowhunter.
"Gag him." The guard nodded and walked into the cell, turning back with a rag in his hands. Jace hold Valentine down in case he tried to move or talk again, as the Shadowhunter gagged the prisoner, retaining him from talking. "Take him to Idris," Alec looked at Jace in the eyes. "And make sure that he's in a cell where he cannot escape."
Jace only nodded as an answer. In seconds, he, Valentine and some other Shadowhunters disappeared behind the portal.
The second they were gone, it felt like relief was flooding in the air of the room, making every person let out a heavy sigh. Once Alec made sure that everything was in order, he turned to his boyfriend who was closing the portal, and everything else was now pushed back in his mind.
"Hey," Alec breathed out, not sure how to approach Magnus after what had happened.
"Hey," muttered Magnus back, but he looked like his mind was at somewhere else. The Shadowhunter was about to ask him whether he wanted to go back home with him, however, the warlock didn't let him talk. "I think I'll go home, now. I'll call you later."
By the time the muttered words registered to Alec's mind, Magnus was already gone, leaving him staring at the blue sparks that came out when the portal closed.
~
Alec was pacing in front of the door to Magnus' loft for what seemed like hours. His heart and his mind were having an inner battle, while his feet were dragging him along the carpeted floor. The logical part of his brain was telling him that maybe Magnus needed some time alone, maybe he wanted to be away from Alec for a while; but deep in his chest, he had a feeling that he should be there for Magnus right now, more than ever. A dark part of Alec's consciousness was whispering him that everything was his fault, that he should have been wiser and must have convinced Magnus to stay away from the Institute; but in his gut he knew that it wasn't all his fault, Magnus was the High Warlock, he would have been in the Institute if he wanted and no one could stop him. Alec knew that being boyfriends meant that they should be next to each other, no matter what, and that they should be each other's rock to lean on during hard times. Therefore, he was going to be with Magnus during what he was going through, and would let the warlock lean on him.
Finally, -when it seemed like if Alec took one more step, the carpet would set on fire- the Shadowhunter stopped in front of the door. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes for a second to gather up his courage, and turned the handle.
First thing he noticed was that the loft was dark, darker than he had ever seen before except for the times the warlock was sleeping. But as he slowly walked inside the loft, he noted that the living room was dimly lit. There were a few candles burning on the shelves and the coffee tables, illuminating the room along with the moonlight. Even though Magnus owned enough lamps to enlighten the whole New York, none of them were turned on, leaving the candles to be the only ones to brighten the night. When Alec got a closer look to the candles on the tabletop, he realized that they were the scented ones Magnus had mentioned before. Aromatherapy and- Alec's thoughts cleared away when he saw his warlock sitting on the navy-blue couch. ...something.
Magnus was sitting with his hands clasped tightly, his elbows resting on his knees. His shoulders were hunched, his head low as if he was trying to hide away from the whole world, but his gaze was locked on the plain wall across the room.
"Mags?" Alec whispered. He had a feeling that he could scare the man away if he spoke loudly. "Mags? Are you okay?"
Of course, he's not, a voice whispered in his mind, but Alec silenced it quickly. He walked through the room until he reached his boyfriend, but not even then Magnus turned to him. The Shadowhunter kneeled in front of the warlock, and with his tall figure, he finally managed to look at him in the eyes. The small triumph he felt, however, vanished when Magnus lowered his head even more and turned his gaze to the floor.
"Magnus. Talk to me, please." Alec cradled the warlock's head between his hands, and nudged his chin lightly to raise his head. He barely managed to hold back the gasp escaping his lips when he saw tracks of tears on Magnus' cheeks. Curling his fingers under the man's chin, Alec pushed down his sleeves on his other hand and gently wiped them under Magnus' eyes. His heart broke when new tears fell down and left trails on the skin he had wiped seconds ago. "Tell me what is wrong, Magnus. Tell me what you're going through..."
Not sure if he was pushing his boyfriend into something he didn't want to talk about, Alec continued to wipe his shirtsleeve on Magnus' cheeks, catching the tears that were falling down the beautiful brown eyes. "I'm here, Magnus," he assured the man. "I'm not going anywhere, I promise..."
Magnus opened and closed his mouth a few times, without letting out a word. Alec didn't say anything and let him take his time to form sentences in his mind. When he heard the warlock's voice though, Alec knew there were tears forming behind his eyelids as well.
"I've never wanted you to see this... terrible, ugly side of me."
"Magnus..." Alec breathed out, trying to blink away his own tears. Once again, he placed both of his hands against Magnus' cheeks and raised his head to be able to look him in the eyes for the first time in that night. He gave himself a few seconds to put his words in order before speaking. "There's nothing ugly about you."
When the Shadowhunter sensed that Magnus was about to shake his head to deny his words, he neared closer to him and placed a quick kiss on his nose. "Believe me, Mags. There isn't a single thing about you that is not beautiful. I don't care what other people think about you, I don't care if they think you're anything but a gorgeous warlock. What I care about is what you think of yourself. And I can't- I won't let you think that there's a terrible side of you. Maybe... Maybe it'll take some time, but I'm here for you. You've always been on my side when I had to go through hard times, and now it's my turn to help you. To convince you, that every single part of you is admirable. Your hair, your glitter... Your body, your soul... Your clothes, your style... Your make-up, your eyes... Your blood, your mark... Everything about you is beautiful, and I love all of them, without an exception. They make you you, and I love you."
"Alexander..." Magnus looked like he was at loss for words.
"Shh, shh..." Alec caressed the warlock's cheek and lowered his left hand to hold his hands that were clasped on his lap. "You don't have to say anything, Magnus. Just know that I'm here, next to you. Whenever you want, I'm here to listen."
Magnus squeezed Alec's hand and looked at him directly in the eyes, as if he could see the Shadowhunter's soul through them. (And Alec sometimes believed that he could.) "I love you." he whispered, and it was enough. Magnus didn't have to say anything else. His boyfriend could hear the meaning behind his words, he knew that there was a hidden thank you in them.
"I love you, too."
Silence fell over them. No one said a word, nothing made a sound. There was just Magnus and Alec, comforting each other with silent gestures, hiding from the cruel world in their cozy home. Candle lights illuminating their eyes, casting a soft glow on their skins. Alec was lost in the warm brown of Magnus' eyes that had captivated him the second he saw them, but... but he also wanted to see the golden, radiant cat-like eyes. He wanted to see Magnus' real eyes, the ones that were the real part of him, the ones that sparkled with specks of green and looked so beautiful, even when they were full of anger.
"Mags?" Alec whispered, his mouth letting out the words without thinking. "Can I see them?"
Confusion was written all over Magnus' face, but Alec knew that deep down, the warlock had an idea of what he had meant. It turned out that his brain-to-mouth filter was still not working. "Your eyes... Can I see you real eyes?"
Too many emotions appeared and disappeared on the man's face, too quick for Alec to figure out all of them. But one look into his eyes before they were turned away, Alec knew he had made a mistake.
"I'm sorry. Shit… I'm so sorry, Magnus, I shouldn't have asked." He grasped Magnus' hands tightly in his until the warlock lifted his gaze to him.
"You don't have to-"
"No," Alec cut him off. "No, I'm sorry. I should not ask that from you. I told you, I'm here and I'm willing to wait, for however long it takes. Even if it takes years, even if you do not ever show them to me, it's fine. They are a part of you, a part of you I think that is beautiful nevertheless, but it's your choice to reveal them or not. I'm so sorry, I never want you to feel enforced into anything. I should have thought before talking. I'm sorry, Magnus."
"It's okay." Magnus whispered, his voice raspy from his earlier crying. His lips broke into a small smile, drawing out an equally sincere smile from Alec. The Shadowhunter pulled at his hands and urged him to stand up.
"Come on, let's go to bed."
Magnus gave a weak nod, feeling satisfied with Alec's hand wrapped around his torso, his thumb drawing small circles on his skin as they walked towards their bedroom. He raised his hand and flicked his wrist, making the candles die out as they passed them and turning on the lights through the hall with a soft, pink glow. From the corner of his eye, Magnus saw Alec's lips curl into a small smile at his choice of color.
They walked to the room in silence. None of them made a sound until Magnus was sitting on the side of the bed and Alec was kneeling before him, just like he was doing minutes ago. The Shadowhunter reached out to take off Magnus' necklaces when he didn't make a move to remove them. His action snapped the warlock out of his daze.
"You don't- You don't have to," he whispered.
"I want to." Alec told him. "Let me take care of you, Magnus, please."
He waited for his nod of approval to take off the jewellery. When all the necklaces were on top of the bedside table, he grabbed Magnus' hands in his and took of his rings one by one, leaving a kiss on his knuckles after his every move. After he was done with the rings, Alec rested his palm against Magnus' cheek. His thumb gently caressed the warlock's cheekbone while his long fingers worked to took off his ear cuff. A warm smile made its way to Alec's lips when Magnus let out a sigh and he leaned into his hand.
They stayed like that for a while, until Alec stood up to leave the jewellery on the vanity. Before he turned back to Magnus, he grabbed a t-shirt and pajama pants from the wardrobe. He sat them on the bed and reached up to undo the buttons of Magnus' red shirt. His hands stilled on the soft fabric, and he looked up to Magnus to see if he was okay with Alec taking his clothes off. When the warlock nodded again, Alec forced his eyes to leave Magnus' loving gaze. He slipped off the shirt from his boyfriend's shoulders, and quickly pulled the t-shirt over his head in case Magnus got cold from air suddenly hitting his naked skin. He did the same with the warlock's pants, while he was watching Alec with love in his eyes, but his mind drifted to somewhere else.
Alec wasn't disturbed by Magnus’ lack of focus on him. He was content with taking care of his boyfriend, with being the one next to him, with being the one comforting him.
After he changed all of Magnus' clothes, he quickly took of his gear and put on a t-shirt and pajama bottoms. He turned off the lights and settled next to his boyfriend on the bed, pulling the covers up until it reached their shoulders. Alec knew it was childish, but he couldn't help feeling save from the outer world when they were lying under the protection of the blanket.
Hesitantly, he brought his hand up and rested it against Magnus' cheek oh, so lightly. The warlock's eyes, which seemed to be locked on a spot between Alec's throat and shoulder, lifted with the motion and brown eyes met with hazel ones. Alec's lips formed a small smile, which only got brighter when Magnus smiled back at him. It wasn't a full smile, only the corners of his mouth were lifted up; but it was enough for Alec, for them.
"I love you, you know that, right?" He whispered, but his voice echoed around the room, breaking the silence.
Magnus nodded without wasting a second. He lifted a hand to hold Alec's wrist, his thumb rubbing small circles on his skin. "I love you, too."
"Va… I'm..."Alec stammered and Magnus could see the conflict in his beautiful eyes.
"What is it, darling?" He whispered, trying not to strain his sore throat.
"It's not... It's not really important. We can talk about it tomorrow."
"No, it's fine. It's obvious that something is bothering you. Tell me, love." Magnus tightened his hand around Alec's wrist in encouragement.
The Shadowhunter seemed to think through his options before he let the words slip out.
"It's... It's about Valentine." Regret filled Alec's eyes when he saw Magnus flinch at his words, but it was too late to stop once he started talking. "Jace had sent a fire message before I came here. He's at the Gard, in Idris, and Valentine is locked up in a cell with dozens of Shadowhunters guarding in front of his room. He'll be accused for his crimes: murdering the Shadowhunters, slaughtering the Downworlders, performing experiments on Jace and Clary, capturing an Angel, dealing with Azazel and..."
Alec let out a sigh and grabbed Magnus's free hand in his, squeezing it in comfort. "And for invading the High Warlock of Brooklyn's body."
"Alexander..."
"No, no, Magnus. I know I keep repeating the same thing, but I'm sorry."
"Why?" Magnus asked, but Alec was not aware of his confusion.
"I-I didn't know if you wanted the others to know about... the incident. Angels, of course you don't. I was just- I requested it to be on the list when they would execute him, because he had brought so much pain to you and I couldn't- I don't-"
"Alexander, listen to me, darling." Magnus leaned in closer to him, making sure all his attention was directed on Magnus. "You don't have to be sorry for anything. I know you did it for me, and for that, I'm grateful more than anything. I'm not sad or angry at you. On the contrary, I want to thank you for it, for thinking of me."
"Of course, I would. I love you, Magnus."
"And I love you, Alexander."
They were both smiling to each other, their smiles brightening up their room, their hearts, and their whole night. Alec's hazel eyes drifted to Magnus' lips before they settled back on his eyes with blush forming on his cheekbones. He leaned in closer to the warlock, but his hesitation was clear as day. He didn't want to do something that Magnus wouldn't like. If he had to wait, then he would for Magnus. But there was no harm in making his intentions clear.
The warlock let out a short chuckle as he lifted his head slightly, closing the small gap between their lips. The kiss was short, only a gentle press of lips against each other; but the meaning was clear.
It was a promise made without using words. It was a promise to stay with each other, to love each other, no matter what. It was a promise to cherish each other even with their flaws, instead of overlooking them.
Even after they parted, they didn't let go of each other. Magnus rested his forehead against Alec's, rubbing his nose against the Shadowhunter's, drawing out a happy smile from him.
"Oh, did I tell you about what I had learned from Isabelle?" Alec's voice broke the silence that had settled around them. He continued when Magnus shook his head, the warlock's curiosity increasing with the new-found excitement in the Shadowhunter's voice.
They talked for hours. (Mostly it was Alec who was talking and Magnus listening, but the warlock was content with that.) Maybe it was because the silence would overwhelm them the second they stopped talking, or maybe it was because they were scared of the nightmares that would chase away their happy dreams.
The topics they were talking about were so random that it made Magnus chuckle, which caused a smile of triumph appear on Alec's lips. On second, Alec was talking about Isabelle's choice of make-up a few days ago; the other, he was talking about how a cat followed him all the way to the Institute for three blocks.
Alec was talking about funny and weird facts to keep Magnus' thoughts away from what had happened earlier that day, and the warlock was fully aware of it. It was making his love for Alec expand, and causing him to feel like he was going to drown in his feelings.
When Alec had told him in the living room that he'd love Magnus no matter what, the warlock believed him with the deepest part of his heart and soul; but after four hundred years of heartbreak caused by revealing his mark, it was hard to overcome his fear and doubt.
But Alexander was different. Magnus knew it, and he trusted the boy with his life. All he had to do was to gather up his courage and reveal his true self to the Shadowhunter.
He could do it. Magnus could leave all the heartbreaks and the years of division between Downworlders and Shadowhunters behind himself. He just needed to trust the boy, and he was already the person Magnus trusted the most.
Magnus closed his eyes, a bit too long which made Alec worry, and when he opened them again, golden colored eyes with cat-like pupils were standing instead of the brown Alec had gotten used to.
"Magnus? Are you oka- Woah..."
The silence that they were so desperately trying to avoid settled in the room and Magnus couldn't help the doubt starting to grow in his chest. Was it a mistake to show Alec his real eyes? Maybe the Shadowhunter had changed his mind. Maybe he thought Magnus' eyes were disgusting when he finally saw them this close. What if he left Magnus after he saw his warlock mark? What if he left Magnus because he was reminded once again that he was half-demon whilst Alec had the blood of Angels? What if-
"Magnus. Hey, come back to me, love."
It was only when he felt Alec wiping away the wetness on his cheeks that Magnus noticed he was crying. In another circumstance, he'd tease the boy endlessly for using a pet name, but now he was trying to collect himself and hope that Alec wouldn't leave him.
"You don't have to cry, Magnus." said Alec and continued as if he could read Magnus' thoughts. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere, I promise you. I'm not leaving. I love you, and your eyes. I told you that they are beautiful, and my opinion didn't change. If anything, I think they are even more beautiful up-close."
"Alexander... No one-No one have ever told me that. Thank you." Tears were still falling down Magnus' cheeks, but this time, he knew they were happy tears.
"You deserve to know that, Mags, and I'd be happy to be the one to remind you that every single thing about you is beautiful, gorgeous, exquisite, magnificent, admirable, and all those words that doesn't come to my mind right know."
A deep chuckle left Magnus' mouth and he pressed a chaste kiss to Alec's lips, pulling away too soon for his liking. The Shadowhunter smirked with a mischievous look in his eyes before he suddenly turned on the bed, and in seconds Magnus found himself lying on his back with a certain gorgeous Shadowhunter's body covering him as a blanket.
Under the playful look Alec had, Magnus could see the uncertainty and self-doubt. He nodded lightly, hoping it would reassure his boyfriend and Alec seemed to get the message when he crashed his lips against the warlock’s.
As they kissed, Alec wiggled a little on top of Magnus to find a comfortable position. He was pleased when finally, he balanced his weight on his elbows which were resting next to the either side of Magnus' head, twirling the man’s black locks between his long fingers.
"Do you know what I was thinking?" asked Alec with a husky voice when they finally parted. Magnus would be lying if he said that he didn't like that tone of Alec's voice. The warlock shook his head and waited for an answer, but Alec kissed his forehead instead.
"I was thinking..." Alec started after the kiss, and pressed his lips to the corner of Magnus' eye before continuing. "...that your..." Magnus felt Alec's hot lips on his cheek. "...mark is..." The Shadowhunter finally kissed Magnus where he wanted him the most, and mumbled quietly against his lips. "...pretty hot."
Magnus felt a shiver run through his spine with Alec's words, and he suddenly had the urge to hug Alec and never let him go. Maybe he could lock him up, keep the boy in his loft, and never let anyone near him. Maybe he could be selfish once and keep the Shadowhunter all to himself.
Alec slowly pulled away from the kiss. Magnus instantly noticed the blush covering his face and the shy look he had.
"Magnus... Can I-Can I ask you something?"
Magnus lifted his hand to Alec's face, his thumb caressing the soft skin, the golden pair of cat eyes looking for any sign of discomfort. "Anything, darling."
"Do you... Can I... Uh, I just... I've seen some other warlocks with-with more than one mark. And I was just... I was thinking... Do you have another one?" Magnus felt Alec's feather-like touch against the corners of his eyes. "Other than your eyes?"
"Yeah… Yeah, I do. It’s just... not as obvious as my eyes."
Alec noticed that Magnus had turned his gaze away involuntarily. He placed his hand under the man's chin, gently turning his head to look at him in the eyes like he used to. "What is it?" Alec whispered, his voice lower than before. "You know I'll love it, just like I love your eyes."
Magnus nodded, but there was a silence for a moment before he revealed his second warlock mark. "I-I only have two marks. One of them is my eyes and the other... My other mark is my belly button."
"Why? What is different with it?" Alec seemed intrigued, and Magnus noticed how careful he was with using the word 'different' instead of 'wrong'.
"It's not... different. Actually, my mark is the absence of it."
Alec's eyebrows shot up to his hairline. "You don't have a belly button?"
Magnus shook his head instead of giving a verbal answer. He felt his shirt riding up and soon enough, Alec's warm fingers were touching his skin. As always, the Shadowhunter was waiting for Magnus' approval before doing anything. The warlock gave a light nod and with a few blue sparks he unglamoured his mark.
Alec's eyes never left Magnus' while the pads of his fingers trailed around the warlock's abdomen, caressing the smooth skin before stopping at the spot where his navel should have been. The Shadowhunter's thumb rubbed softly against the second warlock mark for a few seconds, and then he shifted down Magnus' body until he settled around his hips.
Gently, Alec lifted his shirt further up and rested his hands sprawled on the sides his chest. He leaned down slowly, only breaking their eye contact then, and placed an open-mouthed kiss on the spot where Magnus should have had his belly button. He felt the warlock shudder when his lips touched the warm skin and when he looked up to give him a small smile, he saw Magnus' cat eyes shining brighter than before with unshed tears.
Warmth made its way to Alec's chest and he tilted his head back down, leaving light kisses on Magnus' torso. He kissed each side of warlock's hips, his belly, his abs, his pectorals... And for the last kiss, Alec pressed his lips on Magnus' chest where his heart was beating strongly under the skin.
He pulled down the warlock's shirt slowly, and got off from his hips. He turned to lie on his side next to Magnus, as Magnus turned on the bed to face him. Alec guessed that he had blinked away the tears before they could fall, because there wasn't any trail of tears left on his cheeks. With a smile, he grabbed the Shadowhunter's hand and held it tightly in his.
They didn't exchange any words after that, and this time, they weren't afraid that the silence would drown them. They didn't need the words now. The small squeeze the warlock would give to the other's hand and the existence of his cat eyes without their glamour were an unspoken “I love you.” to the boy. Alec's hazel eyes looking into the golden ones with pure adoration and his thumb gently caressing the skin where Magnus' belly button should have been were whispering the words back. Their actions were speaking louder than their words, and both of them were content with lying under the protection of blankets, wrapped around each other’s warmth as they were confessing their love for each other over and over again without uttering a word.
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