You - "Wait -- nose candy?" Idiot Doom Spiral - "You know, Tequila." He taps the side of his nose twice. "*Nose* candy. The white railroad. *Party powder*!" Kim Kitsuragi - "The kids on the street also call it 'snow day'..." Encyclopedia [Medium: Success] - Or 'Irmalan Gold', for the plateau on which most of the world's supply is grown and harvested, typically by slave labour... Idiot Doom Spiral - "'Sinus salt', 'the white knight'..." Kim Kitsuragi - "'Count C', for its popularity among the aristocratic class of the prior century..." Encyclopedia - Along with a number of more banal street names: Blow, of course, but also flake, powder, pearl. Really anything that's white will work. Electrochemistry [Trivial: Success] - [All caps] He's talking about cocaine, baby. 1. "Are you referring to... *cocaine*?"

[Later in the conversation]

Idiot Doom Spiral - "There are those who believe that the designer was buried with this quater-key of nose candy still lodged in his sinuses. *That's* what those expeditions are looking for..." Electrochemistry - [all caps] The Cocaine Skull. You - "The Cocaine... Skull..." Idiot Doom Spiral - "*The Cocaine Skull*"

[Later again]

Rosemary - "No, my grandma told me -- I've heard other people say it too. That it's underwater. Or, no..." He thinks. "Maybe it was the storm sewers..." Kim Kitsuragi - "Or maybe it's in the *air*? Or in an ancient steppe pyramid off shore?" Inland Empire [Easy: Success] In a pyramid? Now that *would* be something...

I’m sorry I did this

i need to lie down and curl into a ball and tuck myself into a box and be gently lowered into the earth i think. and just stay there for a few days... years... however long it needs to be until i can exist without feeling like i am a prey animal being hunted for sport every day !!!!!!!

Anytime my partner is away overnight, I rediscover that ADHD is, in fact, a whole-ass disability.

maybe I shld just move states and start over even tho moving is expensive and I'm not brave enough to do that alone anyway but I think abt it a lot sometimes like ohh what if I just changed my life completely <3

today is. busyyyy

after work i gotta: - pick up vegan vanilla ice cream (they were out when i went on Saturday grocery trip ;~; that means i have to suffer the crowds) - wash any dishes that are dirty - roast garlic - make mashed potatoes (8-9lb of potato, about 5/4 split for dairy/dairy-free batches) - fry bacon for green beans - roast the green beans in the bacon grease - wash all the dishes again - pack the fridge foods in one bag - pack the shelf stable foods in another - write ten reminders not to forget the ice cream tomorrow (will definitely forget and have to do a mad dash back home)

i feel like i am definitely forgetting something but I don't assemble the charcuterie and cut the fruit till tomorrow... ough

Perhaps the only thing worse than being hated is being loved just enough to matter. Like you don't really know me, but I matter to you and my absence will be felt and isn't that awful that I both mean something and nothing to you? And isn't it terrible that that's how most people we meet are? We love them just enough to miss them but not enough to make any lasting change. Those passing through our lives, nomadically, never meant to stay. And what do you do with that? What do you do with knowing you can't be everything but you'll never be nothing no matter how hard you try? You'll never be inconsequential. Your presence and absence will be noted, documented in the hearts of those you get just close enough to to have an inside joke or casually talk about your lives.

And of course, the only thing worse than that is being truly loved. Standing naked in front of another, desperately hiding your scars and ugliness with your hands, hoping they stay. Hoping despite it all, they will choose to love you anyway. Because you know your absence will not just be felt but will be mourned. And their absence will rip your heart apart like thorns, never healing to what it was before. And everything ends in one or the other eventually.

Note to self: a large meal is a very effective sedative for hyperactive cats.

FUCK MY STUPID BAKA LIFE

🫧 running on five hours of sleep, let's see how this plays out

Gdocs sucks tbh. You write faster than 5 wpm and it freezes up the whole damn computer.

so close to losing my shit rn

Oof, I pulled up Lillian’s Pillars game because I was like, “maybe I should finally finish this after four and a half years” and, uh, I have gotten worse at the game in the intervening years and Concelhaut is kicking my ass XD

...

Rin doesn’t peak in high-school he lives a very fulfilling adulthood. Sae however does. It is like that saying the more you run from something the closer it becomes and vice-versa. The Itoshi brothers’ lives are like satirical tragedies…

my boy dañarte is just being so so so normal about Situations