Hello can i get a valentines matchup for enhypen? :00(im sorry in advance if this is so long 😭)

she/her, infp

my hobbies are playing games, listening to music, reading ,writing, crocheting(still practicing 🥲)

ngl i dont have a distinct love language bc i feel like its all of them LMAOOO but its heavy on quality time and words of affirmation?

The things I do everyday are my hobbies 😭 n i also talk to my friends from time to time(not always since my social battery sucks 💔 they understand tho<3)

likes- cats, hobbies, alone time

dislikes- loud noises(but listens to nosie music LMAO), people invading my privacy

the way i would describe myself is empathetic and understanding ig? im the therapist in my friend group 🫶 i also really like helping them out

my height is around 5'3 🥲

short dyed brown hair, brown eyes, chubby hourglassish? 🥲 idk how to describe myself 😔

I look for a partner that communicates, someone who would be there for me as i do the same, someone who i vibe with 🫶, someone who i can chill with, someone who doesnt mind staying with me n not talk at all like just be in one room n do our thing 🫶 and helps me and ofc i do the same 🫶

HI MY LOVE I THINK WE R SECRETLY TWINS BC SO MUCH OF THIS DESCRIBES ME 😭 but thank u for being the first ask in 🥳🥳

your valentine is... jay!

listen to: best part by daniel caesar

i feel like jay can do what you do for others- take care of yourself when you can't yourself

jay is def someone who is down to just chill: maybe he even prefers that, just enjoying your company is all he wants (sweet man 🫶)

cutest dates teaching him a new crochet pattern AHH heart thumping at the idea

how you spend vday together..

jay grasped your arm and pulled you to the rooftop, the sun about to set. carefully setting down a picnic blanket, some cushions, and of course, some snacks, he sat down and brought you down with him, your hands still not letting go. in one of his hands were yours, and the other held a guitar.

"where did you even get that?" you laughed, pointing at the instrument in his hand.

"hey-" he scowled playfully. "fine, i guess you'll never hear the song i wrote for you." you gasped at his teasing words, but he laughed before starting his melody with the gentle strokes he played on his guitar.

the lyrics were cheesy, in a true jay-fashion, but you couldn't deny it was the best valentine's day gift you've ever gotten.

uHm if you do these and if you want to do it I’d love a bnha matchup <3?

• my name is Aubri, I’m bi but prefer MHA boys tbh. I go by she/her, too.

• I’m a very Gryffindor person. (Sorry if you don’t know Harry Potter - 😖)

• I’m a June cancer, and I have ADHD and anxiety. My anxiety can be literally crippling somedays, but it’s gotten better overtime.

• I’m a bit of a class clown and usually just a clown 🤡 but that’s irrelevant. My teachers all hate me but like school-wise I do well so we have a love and mostly hate relationship 🤧

• I’m usually the ‘entertaining’ friend, in elementary the popular kids would invite me to play games with them because, “you’re funny” and it was like the biggest achievement ever 😭👍🏻 then they’d ignore me but that’s another therapy session

• I’m usually made fun of by people for being ‘weird’ and ‘insane’. Like all through elementary everyone thought I’d be a criminal when I grew up JUST BECAUSE I HAD UNDIAGNOSED ADHD - I hate it here 😐🦶🏻

• I’ve always been super into crime stories/true crime (where my anxiety comes from, I’m always worried about a pesky serial killer just killing me. It’s usually being kidnapped tho lmao) so I knew and still know like all these murder facts and sometimes I’d just randomly be like;

“Hey did you know it takes 12 hours and 2 days to dissolve a body in acid?”

or

“If you bury a dead deer over a dead body you buried deep in the ground, when police dogs sniff it and people dig they’ll just think it was the deer and won’t dig any farther.”

• So maybe people had a reason to be scared of me and think I’ll be a criminal someday, i dunno.

• I love love love reading and writing, and also debating. The things I’ve wanted to be when I grow up are basically: Dog shelter worker, actress, FBI agent, politician, and a writer. But usually I just want to do something that makes a positive impact on people. Like i wanted to be an FBI agent to solve crimes for people. I wanted to be a politican so I could actually help a lot of people. The entertainment industry also seemed like a way to make people happy. Idk, but then I decided I couldn’t be a politican at 10 because they were all corrupt and to be one I would have to be too. 😫🤌🏻 we love some good childhood angst

• the only subjects I’ve ever excelled at are ELA and Social Studies aka History, and Math I can’t do to save my life. ELA comes easy for me and I usually don’t have to work that hard and/or get too stressed over it. But I always get the meanest teachers for some reason. For example, one time I did my final essay for like 30% of my grade in 30 minutes the day it was due and I got an A+ 🦟🦗🦟🦗

• Uhhh id describe myself as a pretty loyal friend, I’m a ride or die type of girl. A story from my childhood that summarizes it pretty well is when I was in 2nd grade my friend wet her pants and she didn’t want to go to the nurse for it alone so I peed my pants so I could go with her and she wouldn’t have to be alone. Like, you know, a professional problem solver

• and I have genuinely attacked people for fucking with my friends but don’t snitch pls 🕳🏃‍♀️💨

• But also just anyone, people at my school tend to come to me with their problems for me to either help solve them by reasoning, or just to confront the other person like the bad bleep I am 😈😈

• I also have a huge daydreaming problem, it’s literally maladaptive daydreaming. So paired with my ADHD I don’t get shit done like ever.

• I have really high empathy levels I guess, like I always say hi to everyone I see on the street, especially if they look sad 😔 I’ve done it ever since I was a little kiddo.

• My fashion sense is very much a preppy/alt style. I wear those ripped tights and fishnets, I also have the MOST BIZARRE JEWELRY- like who allowed me to buy the gummy worm glittery earrings, hmmm???????? and those Mary Janes???????

• But I love crew necks and pleated skirts so I always obide by the National “hoes dont get cold” policy 🇺🇸😫🦅

• I wanna move somewhere someday, I don’t want to stay in America for very long

• I can speak Latin, French, and my native language which is English.

• My music taste varies, but my all-time favorite artists who all of their music they’ve ever put out has been my favorites are, Billie Eilish, Melanie Martinez, and Conan Gray.

• I no-joke have a sign in my front yard that says;

In ✍️ this ✍️ house we ✍️ don’t ✍️ worship Jesus ✍️ but instead ✍️ Melanie ✍️ Martinez

• My favorite shows are MHA (duh), The Promised Neverland, and Malcolm in The Middle.

• and I’m not going to tell you what I prefer in a partner, because that ruins the fun 😤

• but I will say I cannot be friends with someone who doesn’t really make me laugh. Like I’m used to doing most of the talking in convos but if you’re just boring I’m sorry it’s nothing personal but no thanks 😐✌🏻

• About my physical appearance, I have fluffy n curly brown hair, but when it’s in the sunlight it looks sort of brown but golden yk?? It’s shoulder length :) I have bleach blonde streaks in the front. I like wearing eyeliner most days, too. I’m pretty average size/ on the skinnier side. Kinda high key inscure abt my body bc I got flat shamed in elementary EVEN THOUGH I HAVE TIDDIES NOW- whatever 😤🙄. I also have crystal type blue eyes, and I do have fairly big eyes. But, like, not weirdly big. A good big. My cheekbones are ALWAYS PRESENT so sometimes I get called a Tim Burton character but it’s cool ig ☠️☠️ oh and I’m kinda short. I’m 5’3, even though my doctor said I’d be 5’7. I feel like I was either tricked by the doctor or someone just stole my destined height while I was asleep. It’s probably cause I didn’t keep an eye out for Selener 👁 😔😔

• I’m a definite night owl, like all of my energy comes at night which really sucks cuz I can’t do much since everyone else is asleep.

• My love language is touch starved so I’ve never figured it out ✌🏻😗🔫

• but I am an attention whore so idk 😏

• I’m a huge introvert with social anxiety. It isn’t as bad as it used to be cuz I used to not be able to like go to restaurants but now I’m much better.

• I’m a huge history person, mostly like sad history LMFAO. Uh but a lot of my hyperfixations have been on history. Some examples are The Roman Empire, Julius Caesar himself, Anne Frank, The Titanic, the Black Plauge, Helen Keller, Marie Curie, Slavery in the US, Joan of Arc, and just a lot more. I always love talking about these things if someone would let me ramble to them but no one ever does 😖 it also got to a point where for all these subjects I’d go to the library and try to find a book on them but usually I’d either have already read it or I’d read it and know all the information.

• I’m super into Greek Mythology, I have 7 books filled with the stories, I’m going to Greece maybe this summer to see it’s history, and named my hamster Aphrodite but we call her Aphie. I also will talk about this forever and ever if you let me.

• My favorite color is yellow, my favorite food is literally nothing I never have an appetite, my favorite planet is Saturn, favorite song is Tag Your It by Melanie Martinez atm but it changes like everyday.

• Music is a huge safe-space for me if I’m feeling down or having a panic attack. It calms me down n is overall my coping mechanism 💃🏻💃🏻

• Biggest fear is spiders, even looking at one gives me a panic attack and I cannot sleep at all for that night, adding to my insomniac ass 🧎🏻‍♂️🏌️‍♀️

• I’m mature for my age, I don’t exactly like hanging around kids my age and I get along better with older crowds.

• i don’t like conventional dates, (I PROMISE IM NOT TRYING TO SOUND ‘QUIRKY’ AHAHA) I kind of like having a best-friend type partner more so dates that aren’t as romantic as like the movies or a fancy restaurant suite me better. My dream date is playing Monopoly on my bedroom floor 🦧

• Also I hate getting gifts. End of story. If someone gets me a gift like awe that’s nice but never again, I’d prefer to get you one. Especially in a romantic partner 😐 i keep a journal of my friends’ interests and hobbies so I can get them the perfect gifts for their bdays and Christmas’s. Been doing this ever since 4th grade.

• Though I don’t have much actual experience with relationships🧍🏻‍♀️

• I’m a huge believer in ‘family isn’t blood, it’s who you make it’ because I have a pretty shitty family life and my childhood has been trash. My friends are my family to me.

• Also if my friends don’t like my romantic partner ✨ GOODBYE ✨. Sorry girlie, bros before hoes 🦨💨

I was going to put more but I’m so so sorry for how LONG AND COMPLICATED THIS IS- idk if this is a autobiography or a matchup at this point 🤦‍♀️ don’t feel pressured to do this and if matchups aren’t open IM SO SO SORRY LMAO uh yeah ilysm 🦎🎂🧃

OMG ASLDFKJHASLKDJH

🥺 i’m so sorry bby but matchups are closed ;-; my 100 follower event was over while ago (i guess i should’ve specified that in the asks i answered LKSAJHFLKJAHDS SORRY IT’S MY BAD) but you sound so cool?? i had a lot of the same hyperfixations interests (heLLO helen keller was badass AF and the roman empire was messed up but still v cool, anne frank was awesome too) i also may or may not have wanted to be a politician when i was younger alskdjfhalkdhj but now i’m just 🧍🏻‍♀️ lost and anyways you’re amazing >.< love u lots and don’t forget to drink water and eat a lil something hehe :p 

anyway my like last/second to last reblog made me think about this so caesar crusader au woot woot also it got kinda long so here’s a cut for those who dont wanna scroll through all that <3 also i didnt proofread so sorry i just dont care enough </3

first things first let me get the set up;; caesar joseph nd suzi all live in the same house u can interpret it as ot3 or just caejose and suzi is there to vibe w them and help joseph convince caesar to get into trouble, it’s however u want it

then either cause ot3 or suzi agrees 2 be a surrogate, holly is born, joseph’s still the dad like genetically but she’s raised by all three of em essentially and still ends up just as bubbly as she is in canon, except there is no absolute fuckign way she doesnt know hamon because caesar would never, and i mean NEVER, let his kid grow up w/o such a useful trick up her sleeve

then holly gets married, joseph embarrasses both suzi and caesar by how hostile he is towards sadao, caesar is more likely to cuff him over the head bc of it, so there’s that. doesnt change much ig but makes joseph thinks a LITTLE bit more before lashing out JKF;JFJ;S

jotaro comes along and he is caesar’s BOY ok. caesar just gets him. his quiet and calm demeanor (ik caesar isnt necessarily like that in general but around kids he is and as he gets older he’d give off that vibe more as he mellows out) made jotaro feel rlly relaxed around him and as a result he’s v open to him. joseph and suzi ofc have a relationship w jotaro as well but it isnt hard to see there is a bit of favorites playing, especially once jotaro grows up and really starts closing off to most ppl

caesar tries to encourage him to open up more to his family again, but this just ends up with him getting cut off as well. it’s sad ):

in the meantime tho joseph meets avdol and develops his stand. with avdol and caesar combined, they can kinda wrangle joseph into being productive w his energy, but theyre not full-proof. nothing will ever be full-proof against joseph

caesar nd avdol would get along rlly well me thinks. caesar would teach him sum italian and avdol would teach him so arabic. caesar wouldnt have a stand, but since stands r kiiiiinda described as just more intense versions of hamon, caesar can see like outlines of stands if he’s looking at them through one of his hamon bubbles. he only figures this out w avdol’s help. theyre buds

then they find out abt dio thanks to joseph’s stand and they all kinda. get srs. it’s time to search and all that for this fucker. caesar’s pissed cause his grandfather died for no reason now then, same w joseph. avdol helps them navigate the stand world as they search

honestly all is relatively well mostly but then. sdc begins

caesar hasnt heard from jotaro himself for like two years when holly calls them in a panic over him being in jail. og just caesar and joseph were gonna go, but then avdol brings up jotaro mightve developed his stand, since stands r kinda genetic, so they bring avdol along too cause he’s the expert here

they get there, jotaro calls his mom a bitch and is otherwise disrespectful and moody as fuck, and caesar is frankly just disappointed more than angry/frustrated, th opposite of joseph. this makes jotaro feel worse tho KJFN;;N

avdol gets him out tho, they head out. caesar scolds jotaro for snapping at holly and joseph when the only things they ever did were show care for him, and jotaro snaps at HIM in return. fuckin teenagers. caesar changes tactics then and tells jotaro about how he used to be a street thug and all that, and how he cut himself off from his family in an effort to keep them safe (as did his dad mario zeppeli and joseph’s mom djkndje;dn why do bad coping skills run in the family), but it didnt work and instead it just put them in more danger and unjustified/meaningless emotional turmoil. jotaro gets thoughtful over this

then jotaro heads to school and accepts his kiss from holly w/o much fight, just wordless grumbling. it’s a start, caesar guesses

then jotaro comes home with a fucking bloody body only an hour later BHILDFHUDHUJN;

avdol talks abt the fleshbud, caesar is concerned cause jesus h christ, that is a child, kakyoin was only 16-almost-17 when he got fleshbudded, it’s been months, holy shit ??? jotaro must have the same thoughts cause he goes to pull the fleshbud out to everyone’s panic

they decide to let jotaro do it tho and jotaro does, just like in canon. kakyoin’s still rlly rattled but w caesar nd holly both telling him it’s ok and jotaro’s weird ass “why did i save you? who knows.........” thing, he calms down

then holly gets stand sickness and everyone freaks out, even jotaro! kinda. he reacts much the same he did in canon except maybe a lil more frantic cause he had literally JUST decided to clean up his act and now his mom is dying. he wants to show her he knows better now. it’s rough.

caesar considers staying just to watch over his daughter esp cause he doesnt have a stand so it’s like, what would he even do, but then jotaro and kakyoin say theyre going and caesar is like “ok no. ur children.” “that’s my mom. im going either by myself or youll let me go with you.” “christ”

so caesar tags along just to keep an eye of these crazy kids and yeah

this is ending up as a whole fucking fic draft or some shit so im gonna stop here but if anyone is curious on my thoughts on how caesar would continue to affect things from here, lemme know nd ill elaborate. im PRETTY SURE...caesar being around would lead to avdol and kakyoin living cause hamon’s healing abilities, nd since he doesnt have a stand he kinda just ends up as team medic SOOOO....

anyway thanks for reading all thsi if u did JKD;JN;

「lorenzo zurzolo & male/questioning」⇾ ambrose , elijah, the junior horton student’s records show that he is an virgo and 21 years old. he is studying classics and econ, living in noland and can be charming, diligent, self-centered & vain. when i see him i am reminded of clenched teeth, pyrrhic victories & a laugh that comes to haunt you. ⇽「momo & 20 & est & any pronouns.」 

“all stories are about wolves. all worth repeating, that is. anything else is sentimental drivel.” - margaret atwood

hi it’s momo ur resident mess and this is adapted from a previous intro i did so pls dont make fun of me if u catch mistakes. if u like this, i’m coming into ur dms to plot and, if u don’t, i’m still yearning for connection with ur chara. pls. come validate my cliched average bacchanalian icarus bitch, toxic faerie princeling, dark academia fuccboi, dorian grey in the FLESH.

full bio to be found HERE bulleted bio below

AESTHETICS.

sunlight on skin in the morning, like ribbons of gold gleaming between tousled sheets. he throws his head back, laughing. if you do not love him, then you will now. clothes, always pressed. hair, meticulously in place. a dog-eared copy of a streetcar named desire in the crook of his arm. lies. they come so easy to boys like him. lies. tinged honey sweet to hide the fact that there is nothing but teeth behind them. you’ve seen his face in a painting somewhere, you’re certain. and if not, then it haunts you in your dreams. kisses that always taste like champagne, no matter what time it is. if you cut him open, he’d be more red wine than blood. secrets. there is something he’s not telling you. secrets. something rotten behind that sweet-faced grin. walden and thoreau in place of a father figure. choosing dickinson instead of the mother he had. clenched teeth. pyrrhic victories. he wins, always, but at what cost? climb into his chest, now. ignore that miraculously still-beating heart. feel how hollow it is here? he has tried to fill this emptiness his whole life. he has never succeeded.

BULLETED BIO

TW parental issues

first off, say mommy issues into a mirror 3x and this bitch appears behind u like the demon he is

‘that’s it. thats the chara.

im jk but not rlly. eli is the only child to one of radcliffe’s esteemed feminism + gender studies professor (prof. vivianne ambrose) and their relationship has always been... rough

it’s not for lack of love. it’s just that-- sometimes, people are too alike. and it’s hard to apologize and express the love that you feel.

halfway “ignored” by his mother, he’s spent his entire life trying to gain the attention and love of everyone around him. he definitely tries to shift his personality to be the person u want him to be--- but can only really settle on pretentious intellectual + wild child

so ig what i’m trying to say is that ... he’s the duality of man if both dualities were the WORST and most pretentious

mostly, what’s happened is that the people who like him really like him. and the people who don’t-- he refuses to spend the time of day on.

+ like ! i guess the best way to describe him is bright, glittering, hard to look at directly.

he wants u to want him.

but he doesn’t want u to know him

classics n econ bc honestly, he wants to be a professor like his mom and teach classics or theatre BUT he refuses to admit it so he’s getting a double major in econ and telling himself he’s gonna be like a politician or lawyer or some other slick shit

he... ............... would make a good politician probably. 

but still. 

he rattles off a list of dream roles he wants to play. hamlet. coriolanus. oedipus. caesar. creon. gatsby. some are leads, some aren’t. but most of all-- “they’re tragedies,” you say, “you really like tragedies that much?”

he laughs glibly. “no--” he says, “god, of course not. but they’re the only things i can play. look, i know what i look like. i know what you think of me. deep down, you want nothing more than to see me suffer. on stage, you can.”

“and off-stage?“ you ask tentatively. his eyes flash green, his lips press together almost imperceptibly,  “oh come on. look at me. no one’s ever going to deny me of what i want.“

it’s a lie, of course. but it’s a good one. and it’s one that he goes to sleep telling himself.

pls i beg u!! yes, he’s terrible, but, deep down, i think he wants to be good. i think he wants to be soft. but the only time he ever got his mother’s attention was when he was doing something wrong and it’s made his perception of how love is supposed to be— skewed.

he definitely FEELS like an old soul, but he also probably has a very active thirst instagram using oscar wilde and margaret atwood quotes as captions

i hate him dearly pls

IMMA ADD MORE WANTED CONNECTIONS

people who have studied under/knows his mom -- ur too close. everytime he sees u he flinches. he’ll walk in during ur consultation with his mother and the two of them will stiffly update each other on their day and ur like god dang what a weird ass relationship. alternately, he’ll sit outside his mother’s office while ur doing consults. and u can’t help but wonder... god... what kind of mom, would make her child wait.

friends/enemies/etc. from childhood --- he grew up near the university has always been around town

wld die for a childhood crush on him or from him, but likely from him bc that’s cute af

a childhood friend that has always been his ride-or-die, even though they’ve definitely grown apart bc elijah has a fear of Emotional Intimacy!! but u knew him once and u know... there’s a real boy behind that layer of pretense.

step/half-siblings !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! --- his mom might have remarried! his bio dad maybe is lurking out there with another family! who knows!

a tormentor --- for anyone who knows the ambrose family, its’ not hard to see that the relationship btwn mom + son is strained. and like-- that’s something eli is always gonna be sensitive abt. ur chara knows that eli isn’t the hard shell he pretends to be. he’s just a soft boi longing for approval + that scares tf out of eli

people who eli hates -- mostly softs who remind him of his own failure to become completely unfeeling

rlly pretentious friends

unpretentious not friends

party friends

litcherally anything

neighbors

one night stands

fwbs

exes (elijah is tentatively pan, but objectively hates labels)

i live for apartment plots so pls hit me up if ur chara lives in noland

20 questions

tagged by @gertstarlight

1. what do you prefer to be called name wise? delaney

2. when’s your birthday? july 12 (which is also julius caesar’s birthday!!! give it up for the dictators who r gonna be killed by their friends 🤩)

3. where do you live? illinois 😌 (the packers suck)

4. three things you’re doing rn? uhhh right now i’m eating lunch, answering this, and thinking abt how i should be doing my hw but i’m not 🥴

5. four fandoms that piqued your interest? stargirl, riverdale, tbh, and lot

6. how has the pandemic been treating you? ugh it’s just boring and i miss my friends :( other than that everything’s been p chill

7. a song you can’t stop listening to right now? last night i couldn’t get “all star” by smash mouth out of my head but now i wanna listen to “supercut” by lorde on repeat so we’ll see how that goes for my mental health 😌✌️

8. recommend a movie? i haven’t seen a movie in forever bc i have zero attention span...... ig if u binged all of tbh it could b like a rlly long movie or smth?? (which i would recommend bc i am forcing everyone ik to watch it 😀)

9. how old are you? 16

10. school, university, occupation and other? i’m in hs and i have no job bc school and covid

11. do you prefer heat or cold? heat..... but maybe i’m biased bc i’m freezing rn

12. name one fact that others may not know abt you: when i was younger i knew the gist of goldilocks so i recited the story to my family the best i remembered it while pretending that i was reading out of the book lol

13. are u shy? yeah at first but when i get to know ppl/i’m around my friends i’m obnoxious as hell

14. preferred pronouns: she/her

15. biggest pet peeves? when ppl find out that i have arachnophobia and then feel the need to like “cure” me of it or some shit by forcing me to be around spiders???, ppl who pronounce “tour” like “too-ur” instead of “tore”, ppl who pronounce/spell my name wrong on purpose, honestly there r probably so many more but i can’t remember any

16. what’s ur favourite ‘dere’ type? idk what this is and i will not b looking it up

17. rate ur life from 1 to 10. 1 being crappy and 10 being the best it could be: hmm.... 6.5 

18. what’s ur main blog? @boldbisexual

19. list ur blogs and their purposes: this one is my stargirl one, @incorrectchoniberonicaswangs is my riverdale one, @stevenswesley is my tbh one, @lotsofgays is my lot one, @ambrosespellpan is my caos one, @hournitenation is the hournite discord out of context one

20. is there something ppl need to know abt u before becoming friends? hmmm..... well i mean i do call my friends hoes a lot (in a loving way i swear), if i’m bored i WILL start fights just to spice things up, and i feel uncomfortable talking abt my actual problems unless i can mask my feelings abt them w humor 🤪

iwwv anon and PHEW OK. I def did not expect that essay and now I feel bad cause I KNOW my thots r not gonna be articulate or right. nonetheless! i think Oliver does qualify as an unreliable narrator cause hes. very oblivious but not like... Richard papen (who is a whole ass clown don't get me started on tsh) but not like addy from dare me(I will support till the day I die that dare me is da like I WILL die on this hill) who sees what she wants to see. 1/?

i think he just... thinks that his friends r diff ppl than they actually r? that doesnt rly make sense but yea. what I mean is that everything the characters do is coated in that empathetic view Oliver has which is usually wrong? so we don't get an objective look into the characters. meredith is my girl like I love the hot popular girl trope deconstruction but at the end of the book she's not at a great place like she's w someone that doesn't love her like she needs to be loved... 2/

I guess the most probable ending is that James never meets Oliver again and that everyone is kinda stuck on what happened but that's soo sad and I really don't want to think abt it. ngl iwwv wasn't like my fave book ever and I really don't understand why people are so obsessed with dark academia sometimes but what i rly liked abt the book is that despite how fucked up everyone is and how toxic they r to each other they do at heart care abt one another...3/

like I rly liked that esp cause at that point the only other da book (other than dare me!) that I had read was tsh and godd every character is so fuckinh annoying and they all hate each other. i was super confused by it till I saw someone saying that it's satire and I felt my mind explode. I feel like this is so long but I didnt rly properly answer all you wrote sorry! I think its a pretty good book tho it has some crazy quotes like hold awn Im gonna look at the highlighted stuff on my copy.. 4/

Were you in love with him?” “Yes,” [...]Yes, I was.” It’s not the whole truth. The whole truth is, I’m in love with him still. LIKEEE PHEWW OK OK OK. WE OUT HERE. that line literally made me go crazy. I'm so sorry for any spelling mistakes or like general mistakes I made here English isn't my first language, it's 1am and I wrote this in the notes app w/o looking it over. so like.. NOT a professional review lemme tell you. 5/5

 Ahh im so sorry I did not see this before I yeeted for a month!!!

Oooh okay first of all dare me as a DA… I’ve only watched the show but like yeah I see the Elements for sure.

Also yeah I can understand what you mean abt Oliver being an unreliable narrator now… Ig my view of unreliable was more like they are purposefully twisting the truth or omitting facts or just literally don’t know shit but I get how personal bias can make the narrator unreliable. I do think the assertion that Oliver thinks his friends are different than they actually are makes sense. He sees James in a very positive light and though I like James a lot and think he is better than, like, Richard, he definitely has darker moments and manipulates Oliver at times (again I’d like to think it’s not the most nefarious thing in the world but like him just being shitty bc he’s in a dark place and he one, wants to do anything he can so Oliver doesn’t figure out he fought Richard so Oliver still thinks of him the same way/bc he knows Oliver would do something stupid like get himself arrested for James; and two, is very jealous that Oliver is with Meredith after Richard dies and has sort of a somewhat positive outcome from Richard’s death versus James being riddled with guilt and anger). And yeah, the probable ending is they never meet but I refuse to acknowledge that so LGNRG. Also that line makes me go CRAZZZZZZZZZZY!!! There are so many great lines, both using Shakespeare and on their own and its like okay give me a moment im going bonkers…

Personally, I haven’t read that many dark academia novels yet (bc for some reason i can barely finish a book rn sigh) but the concept interests me. I think what’s compelling is the setting/atmosphere of like ~mysterious college vibes~, and the idea of a sort of niche, obsessive bond and pursuit of knowledge with a tight knit group of friends (and the like inherent homoeroticism in every single DA elrngenrg). Like Dead Poet’s Society (the film I haven’t read the book) isn’t Dark in the same way most other dark academia is by like, obsession and death and manipulation (though of course there are dark elements with Neil’s storyline), but I think the other building blocks of academia are present there in a more wholesome way and you can see why people are drawn to that idea. As for the more Dark aspects I think it’s interesting to analyze things like group psyche, obsession, manipulation, etc, like what went wrong for everything to take such a dark turn???

 But, like everything else, it really has to be done well or else its just like okay….… I’ve tried to read TSH twice and I may try again but from the 100+ ish pages I read I totally get what you mean. IWWV is so interesting to me bc the characters are all very compelling and multifaceted and I like that they are a close friendship, we come in after 4 years of them spending all the time together and to me that is apparent. Like you said, we can see fissures and problems especially as the novel continues but there is care there between them. That also makes the decision to let Richard die much more interesting and sinister imo, as well as how all of them interact with each other after he dies, and how the roles of the group change without their “leader” so to speak. Also, maybe it’s just bc I like Shakespeare, but I think the academia part of IWWV is so much more accessible compared to TSH. Like I don’t know every Shakespeare play or anything so I didn’t understand every nuance or was like immediately like oh this is from Cymbeline or whatever the fuck, but you could understand the gist of things and it made sense that they spoke in Shakespeare lines bc that’s all they’ve been doing for four years and also theatre kids are Like That. Their pretention also provided any Layers to the story, like the parallels between the characters they play and their own arcs, how some of the lines echoed their own thots, foreshadowed, or they were able to say things through Shakespeare (I’m thinking of like, Oliver realized he loved James during Romeo and Juliet, the foreshadowing that James was going to ruin Richard’s life and that he dislikes Meredith/Richard when he quotes Mercutio at the start “A plague o’ both your houses”, the exchange Oliver and James had onstage and had that kiss during King Lear before Oliver was arrested,etc.) (Also I think the structure of some of the dialogue being formatted like a play really helped make it feel more realistic and immersive). Versus TSH which is just so pedantic and dense and hard to follow at times im like I get they are smart but what??? And maybe that’s part of the satire aspect (or maybe im dumb) but like donna I read TGF I know you are pretentious and info dump abt random obscure shit anyways so erglknerg. Like to me there was a Point to all of the academic Shakespeare stuff in IWWV and it was the soul of the book, and M.L. Rio made it very interesting—like the way that the directors reimagined the plays and had Julius Caesar be like a modern political play, the cool mirror shit in King Lear, the Macbeth and Romeo and Juliet performances where they did them at events and interacted with their environments (which were one of my favorite parts of the books bc I just think that concept is so interesting), etc. For TSH the shit they did literally just felt like “okay look at them they’re smart see you can’t even keep up!” like okay… I felt lost a lot and only like snapped into reality whenever Henry (?) was like oh… murder….. and even then I was like idk what this dude is saying but like he’s being darksided LMAO. And I also agree that it’s just like… Richard being thrown in the middle of this group could lend itself to some cool ideas but its hard to believe that he fits into the friendship group and hes just like hell yeah I love Greek so much and lets go kill this guy other than like okay ur gay and stupid and just want to impress Henry or whatever his name was (which he was but I digress). It’s just not as impactful to me as this close friend group falling apart. Ik TSH fans might be angry if they see this (and of course I haven’t finished the book so my perception may be warped but I also kno many ppl felt that way u did) bc I’ve seen ppl say IWWV is just like TSH but “lackluster” or whatever and while I can see some parallels (mostly b/w Richard and Henry and Alexander and Francis), I really think M.L. Rio expanded upon common DA tropes and the interesting parts of TSH but made it her own and interesting and oh yeah there are actually multiple compelling female characters and LGBT characters (and no incest)!!!

Caesar

Sexuality Headcanon: Bi :>Gender Headcanon: I didn't think abt enough? I'd like to Think nb m sorry for being weird A ship I have with said character: probably Joseph. Or me I lova him A BROTP I have with said character: Joseph. Or maybe Lisa Lisa and Suzi A NOTP I have with said character: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Stroheim?A random headcanon: he has freckles , he has curly hair (I think that's automatic lol ) and he has dimples .I don't rlly have much to say here . Maybe yes he doesn't like most bugs but he thinks beetles , butterflies and moths are cool? (Just giving him smth I have lol)General Opinion over said character: I like him alot . My friend said that I'm more like him than Joseph BC I'm more serious. And I thought wow that's funny that's another thing we have in common ig. I rlly like his looks and I think he's awesome . I lova him

I wish i was mr happy.

here a story for you - i can't see anything because i got drunk and didn't properly close my contact case then i kicked them on the floor while i was sleeping...now I'm blind as fuck because i have only 1 contact left and don't want to wear just one... i asked my mom to send some like a week ago but she didn't so I'm going to be blind until tuesday afternoon....btw  being blind is not fun because what I've learned is that when you can't see you have one less distraction for your thoughts -  laid in bed all day with thoughts of suicide and refused to leave so i didn't hurt myself. eventually it passed as i took a shower and cried for a little

Monday night i had a dream that emma was bragging to me about her next boyfriend and my response was “HA HA tbh i don give a fuck and they shouldn't either (i was pointing at josh and hand)” bc she was bragging about how her life is set and all planned out now and i was like tbh they should be just as disappointed in you as i am for planning out your life because thats not happiness i was like spontaneity  is happiness - and thats not who you are you are spontaneous not this future planner girl - and then she got up and ran to me started crying and hitting me and hugging me and she was like i wanna be with you and i started crying and i was like no i can't do that right now

i woke up sobbing and soaked in sweat

TUESDAY i had a dream that i was on the side of this road in this own wish grass field with my mom and grandma and suddenly josh smith showed up and i distinctly remember him wearing a white shirt with horizontal orange stripes one inch thick and all the trees around me had n leaves and i went to climb one so i could pee off of it and my mom climbed up and pushed me off and i woke up.

i had a second dream that night that was at a are sremmurd concert except it wasn't at a large venue it was some basement looking type place and it was some random artist that was complete trash i went to this board that had facts about the show and i saw that the show was put on by this guy who was famous in history for his tragedies  - so i think the show was suppose to emulate some trash event in history but it as modern day rap and it was god awful.

WEDNESDAY i had a dream that i ate this caesar salad then i couldn't stop spying out lettuce from my mouth....kinda like  how a clown pulls scarves out continuously, i just kept pulling out mouthful sizes of lettuce it was extremely weird, I've never had a dream like it before

this week started off decent but then went downhill tbh.. when I'm not actively doing something to distract me i literally just sit and  my own head until i tilt off the face of the planet. i hate how much i think about dying and death in general i just can't escape the thoughts. there are multiple times a day or a week that i feel so numb and i just want to hurt myself just so i can feel something physically not really sure if it makes a lot of sense but its like an addictive feeling t me...its like a craving like cigarettes like i want to hurt myself so badly sometimes i just want to see myself bleed.

its really sad when i think aboutt it

when you think thoughts in your head i feel like generally its your own voice that you hear your thoughts in and u are consciously generating these thoughts.... sometimes when i get low i hear a voice in my head that ins my own and like it just appears and I'm not really sure if its just there or if I'm generating it..because when i catch it finally it goes away...but whatever it tells me is usually horrible and downs the fuck out of me and tilts me and makes me feel so small.

6 days into taking prozac one or two weeks to go.....havent really been eating - nothing new i have noticed tho that when you're skinny and don't need a lot to fill up you save so much money on food. i bought 2 chippotl bowls and i got 4 meals out of it.

i think that I'm going to try harder to stay away. maybe less snapchat stories - and less soundcloud reposting of songs because like my ex can hate me but for her to actually move soon i feel like i need to just become a memory to her and maybe thats not for e to say but i feel like she wants to move on from me and doesn't like me and even though its the exact opposite of what i want ill try to give her that.

its actually so annoying to type when you can't even see the letters of the keys when ur mac sits 18 inches from your face. i have to pull the laptop super close to my face if i think i made a mistake so i can correct it. even though i literally laid in bed all day i still kinda feel tired...im also trying to get 8 hours of sleep a night bc my mom said it'll make me feel better -  well that and I'm not really trynna have many episodes of forgetting 30 minutes of my life by zoning out into a sleep or day dream.

i had so many thoughts during the week for this moment where i sit down and type it all back to myself but now that I'm sitting ere I'm just kind of drawing a blank.

lief is just crazy for me right now.... its just such a weight on my back and its crushing me and suffocating me and drowning me

when i get down i feel like I'm a completely different person.. when I'm up or even bc I'm never really up killing myself makes zero sense to me...but when I'm really low i feel like its the only thing that makes sense like it is my destiny. 

i laid in bed and watch batman and youtube and listened to hella music toady it was pretty relaxing ig guess except not rule because i was role low and had a ton of anxiety until i started watching batman after i took a hot shower.

my whole family on my dads side is actually in NC right now... they drove thru the city I'm in to go on vacation to the beach...wouldve loved to go to the beach with the little ones but i guess they didn't feel like picking me up or thought i was busy or something, maybe didn't have the room idk.

loose rocks gotta fall its part of the climb...i am a few peoples loose rock and i understand  that as much sense as it doesn't make i can still see where it does. but i need to start my own climb. the thing that gets me is that i feel like if I'm a loose rock to someones life they are a loose rock to mine bc thats not the people i want in my life but i do understand....idk ?fate? ?trial?

that whole paragraph probably didn't even make sene I'm  not rule sure how to convey it and i can't even see what I'm saying so whatever...

oh shit i almost forgot that i watched so many fucking space views today it was crazy dude space is wild and we probably live in a snow globe also the earth is flat.

i hope this week is better than the last. i really do

“every breathe that i inhaled felt like i was trying to push 150 pounds with the movement of my lungs” -cam meekins