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bookshelfdreams · 7 years

Video

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German actor and comedian Max Gierman impersonating Donald Drumpf. (Translation/transcript under the cut, although I think you don’t really need to speak german to understand it)

*applause*

Drumpf: He’s ugly.

Moderator Christian Ehring: Hehehe. Mr Trump, Mr .... Mr Trump, let’s, eh, let’s start the conversation there. Over there.

Drumpf: Ok, ok, make America -

Ehring: Donald Trump, ladies and gentlemen, lots of cheers and jubilation. We even had it in our script: wait for applause. Also, please welcome Kirstin Wahnke, she is the only german-born member of Trump’s team, and is kind enough to translate for us today.

*applause*

Drumpf: Thank you, thank you. Very nice, very nice. Thank you for having me on your show. It’s a great honour. It really is. And by the way: I love your first name. Christian. It’s beautiful. If it was Muslim I wouldn’t be here.

Wahnke: Thank you for having me, I like your first name.

Drumpf: She’s cute right?? I wanna grab her by the pussy.

Wahnke: Isn’t she cute? Like a ..... kitten.

Ehring: Mr Trump, you here in Europe - I’m almost surprised, I was under the impression you don’t hold european values in high regards.

Wahnke: What do you think about the european values?

Drumpf: Don’t get me wrong, to be honest with you, I think the europeans are .... motherfuckers. Tell him.

Wahnke: One of the greatest european values has to be .... the love for your mothers?

Drumpf: It’s true.

Ehring: Will you meet with Angela Merkel, in Germany?

Drumpf: I don’t think so.

Wahnke: Of course.

Drumpf: It’s a disaster. Her politics are a total mess.

Wahnke: To me, her politics are like a holy mass. Mr Ehring, please, you have to believe us, not all Americans are like that. We just want to apologize for the many scandals of the past months. (to Drumpf) Isn’t that right?

Drumpf: What are you talking about? What does it mean “Entschuldigen”?

Ehring: “To apologize”.

Drumpf: Apologize, ok. And what does that mean?

Ehring: Mr Trump, er, there is resistance forming in America as well. Enormous protests at your inauguration, many Americans do not like you.

Wahnke: Some americans don’t seem to like you.

Drumpf: YOU’RE WROOONG. You’re absolutely wrong, ok. (to Ehring) And you too, by the way. Ok, look, don’t get me wrong, believe it or not, but I have 10 billions of americans by my side. It’s true.

Wahnke: I have more than 10 billion americans by my side.

Ehring: 10 BILLION? How can that be?

Wahnke: Oh, it adds up. 10 billion from his secretary of finance, 5 billion from his secretary of economy and 6 billion from his secretary of education.

Ehring: Oh. Well then. That’s interesting too, by the way, the cabinet has come under criticism as well. In Germany people are very critical: conflicts of interest, shady entwinements, and your closeness to Russia are viewed critically in Germany. Are you a president approved by Putin?

Wahnke: Did Putin get you into the white house?

Drumpf: Stupid question. Next.

Wahnke: A very justified question.

Ehring: Does Putin have any compromising, intimate knowledge about you? Does he know anything?

Wahnke: Does Putin have any secret information about you?

Drumpf: Ok, let me tell you something. These are total fake news, ok. There is no tape of any peepee-party with prostitutes in Moscow. It’s a huge misunderstanding. It’s just a tape of my wedding night with Melania.

Wahnke: Let’s be honest, if he had to step back because of a sex scandal, we shouldn’t have bothered electing him in the first place, right?

Ehring: *laughing* Right.

Drumpf: Does she translate correctly?

Ehring: Yeah, she translates absolutely correctly, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

*laughter and applause*

Drumpf: Do you hear that? I like them.

Ehring: Mr Trump, what are your plans for your first 100 days in office?

Wahnke: What are your plans for your first 100 days?

Drumpf: That’s very easy. Look. The first thing on monday morning, I’m gonna stop Obamacare. Wahnke: But - but what do americans - I mean - What else does america have to fight diseases? Drumpf: Pump guns????? Wahnke: Oh my God. Drumpf: I will create millions of new jobs. Wahnke: I will create millions of new jobs. Ehring: How’s that even possible? Wahnke: Well I think he included his blowjobs. Drumpf: She’s still fucking cute, right? Wahnke: “She” studied 5 languages and is the only one in his team of 700 idiots who ever learned something. Drumpf: And she loves me too! Wahnke: Do I look like a zookeeper? Mr Ehring, I need political asylum in Germany, please. Ehring: Ms Wahnke, I dont know what can be done on such short notice, I’m sor- Drumpf: I will fight ISIS. I will destroy them. And by the way I will not accept a theory of “climate change” because it’s nonsense, right? Wahnke: Sorry, would it be a problem if I stop translating this crap and just say blablabla? Ehring: No, go ahead. Drumpf: Let me tell you something, I’m gonna be the greatest president God ever created. In fact, God is a good friend of mine, he is a great guy, he really is, I love him, he’s fantastic, just like me. Ok. Wahnke: Blablabla blabla blabla. Drumpf: I think now she translates correctly. Ehring: Yes she does. Thank you very much Donald Trump and Kirstin Wahnke!

#german stuff #lord toupet #inauguration #were all gonna die lol #extra3

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