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#maria's wasted gay haircut
brightnote · 10 months
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Maria Hill & Nick Fury’s text messages post blip up to the start of Secret Invasion
Maria Hill: Emergency could use you 
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Maria Hill: Uhm London is under attack? People are saying we are in London? Do you know anything about this?
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Maria Hill: ugh the Falcon and Winter Solider just randomly released a Nazi from prison so that’s happening I guess.
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Maria Hill:  also uhm Wanda Maximoff trapped a whole town in an energy force and made herself and the town live in never ending cycle of a broadcast television series.... it is kind of becoming a thing... 
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Maria Hill: Rip in the time space continuum.. ? Are you getting that up there? Seems like a big deal…
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Maria Hill: So.. the multiverse is spilling into our universe are you worried about this or…? 
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Maria Hill: Talos says sup from Moscow
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Fury: Come pick me up
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amysgiantbees · 5 years
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Avengers: Endgame Spoilers
Much like Avengers Infinity War, my feelings on this film can most succinctly be put that overall I found it average to infuriating but there were some truly wonderful parts in between that I’ll always enjoy. I’ll come to this later but here are some notes on my feelings on Avengers Endgame...
THE GOOD
Wanda and Captain Marvel (but I still needed more of them)
Wanda and Captain Marvel fighting Thanos
Steve wielding Mjölnir
Valkyrie on a pegasus
King Valkyrie
Carol’s haircut
Rhodney and Nebula bonding!
Nebula and Tony playing paper football!
Pepper fighting in an iron suit
Sam is Captain America! (He better be Cap in the films, not just this new show, I know the MCU has a history of keeping the TV shows and films separate but please not in this case!)
THE BAD
Bruce dabs. I just can’t.
Clint’s hair and tattoos
Thanos’ ecofascism being justified by the narrative in certain ways like with Cap’s look on the bright side about the environment line.
The time travel plotholes. I do not understand time travel at all in this, feel free to explain if you do. Also, Thanos not having knowledge of anyone due to time travel really took a lot of impact out of the climax for me. My biggest issue with the time travel logic in this though is how can Nebula kill her past self? 
The limited time given to emotional character arcs is a real issue for me. For a movie that goes on for so long, I felt like more attention would be given to this and less to action. Like having characters that had rivalries with members of Thano’s Children never confronting against them again.
Thor never mentions Loki. He never grieves him. He was meant to actually legitimately be dead in this one so it would have been nice if not only there was more emotion and time spent on the scene with his mother but if he said goodbye to Loki during it too. Or told Freya to check in on Loki for him, make sure to tell him he loves him form him. I know she is destined to die but if they’d come earlier in the day and let there be time to do all of this it would have been more emotionally satisfying I think at least.
I HATE fatsuits. The fat jokes and the jokes at the expense of Thor’s panic attacks and mental health are REVOLTING. It’s just sad and frustrating that they decided to throw out all of Thor’s character development from Ragnorok for a few cheap laughs. His fat suit doesn’t even look real. It doesn’t match his neck and face and he doesn’t move right. Shockingly enough you move easier when it’s your own skin. This article and the author sum up my thoughts on all of this really well: https://medium.com/@kivabay/the-centr-of-controversy-cba6f23c692e. Also, Bay has a really great quote unrelated to Thor but also sums up another issue I have with the film and I just want to highlight it here, “ I also couldn’t help but view the movie with the knowledge we pick up on the internet about who is leaving the MCU, making the character deaths feel melodramatically goofy and like executive-level calculations.“
Also, somewhat silly critique but doesn’t Thor need special Asgardian beer to get drunk not “mortal” beer in a can. Damn, Thor was just poorly thought through. And I could almost find him fighting against Thanos with zero weight loss aspiring if the whole idea of Chris Hemsworth portraying him and every other way he was handled wasn’t disgustingly terrible. Fat Thor as an idea is amazing. I’d love to see him portrayed as such in the comics as long as he’s treated with respect. 
They can’t just have the film be cathartically separate and contained they have to hint at more film’s with the “Where’s Gamora” mystery ready to go and Thor joining the Guardians. They have been advertising Homecoming for months and have the next few years of movies already planned, people aren’t under any illusions that there won’t be sequels. Just let it be self-contained. Especially since it’s already so long. 
Just personal taste thing here but the “Avengers Assemble” bit was too cheesy and the ruin of the Avengers mansion was a boring background for the battle.
Dr. Strange was wasted stopping that tsunami. Did they need that? It was such a boring use for him in the battle. This battle had so many heroes but it felt like it really used their powers significantly less creatively together than any other battle previously. 
Why weren't Fury, Carol and Maria all standing together at Tony’s funeral with their arms around each other like everyone else? It was really strange and took some of the emotion out of the scene, they’re close to each other. It could have been such a beautiful moment and tied the whole Captain Marvel “Where’s Fury?” scene together if they had them beside each other with her smiling sadly at him or leaning against him. They’re friends and it would be nice to see Fury further fleshed out and more three dimensional. 
I don’t mind that Loki is dead but it does make me retroactively annoyed that “You... will never be... a god” was seriously his last line. He had nothing nice to say to his brother before he dies? So he really did die trying to use a knife on someone who can take on the Hulk. I hope that at least in his show that’s coming soon he’s genderqueer and given the opportunity to properly show off his magic. I feel like his magic has never been displayed properly or used in particularly interesting ways so far.
I would have rewritten the scene where Banner and Rocket look for Thor. Banner, Thor and Valkyrie’s interactions are stale and strange. It would have been better (so as not to erase all of his character development) if he was still dealing with his PTSD or the loss of his people poorly but was at least trying to help the Asgardians. But then show Valkyrie having to help him and being the clearly stronger leader due to being able to deal with this grief better after having experience working through grief from losing her Valkyries. She could also be helping him with his alcoholism instead of judging him since she has been there! It would have shown her mentor abilities and kingly traits. You could still have him join the Guardians in the end but now he’s just less negligent. Then he isn’t passing a burden for convenience but because he recognizes Valkyrie was there for his people when he couldn’t be and is the better, more loved leader. Instead of what should be a great moment for Valkyrie that she’s shown as earnt and is deserving of it just seems like Thor was like “Well it turns out ruling was too hard for me I’m going to f*ck off to space now look after them for me.” Still, love that she gets to be king. 
Did I mishear her name or is Clint’s daughter not called Kate? Why aren’t we getting Kate Bishop? I know she isn’t Clint’s daughter in the comics but they’ve changed people’s backstories before and after seeing Clint training with a young girl in the trailer I was just really excited for her. I love her character in the comics, but maybe she has a name change here? 
Also, why does Clint go overseas to fight people? I’m sure there are more than enough bad people in America for him to fight for YEARS. There are Neo-Nazis for F*CKS SAKE. It just seems racist to imply he’d have to look in places predominantly occupied by POC to find bad people. Also, that Sword scene was strange. It felt really unnatural and fake like it belonged in a completely different movie. 
Also, little nitpick but I just found it to be a weird moment when that kid Ant-Man talks to didn’t say “What do you mean?” or “How do you not know?” I get not wanting to talk about the snap but how could he not be mildly curious or confused as to how someone seems to be ignorant to the biggest tragedy in world history.
Also, I really would have loved if the final battle had more consequences. More deaths and injuries. I think it would have been more realistic and added more to it. I especially really would have loved it if they had shown Clint getting injured in such a way that his hearing was permanently damaged. It would be nice to finally have him have that important comic book trait. 
Also, that scene where Joe Russo, a straight man, plays a gay man is bullshit. Let us have gay superheroes. That is such a pathetic attempt at representation. Make Loki Genderfluid, make Carol a wLw, Give Okoye and Valkyrie a girlfriend or acknowledge they’re wLw. 
Furthermore, I understand that the shot of all the women at the final battle was probably foreshadowing A-Team but I don’t think the creators realised that, One: it makes it look like they’re trying to hide that they killed the only original female member of the Avengers while giving all the men satisfying endings. Two: that there are A LOT fewer women than men but also that there’s enough of them that more of them really should have been featured before then and had more time spent on them. Just so many women yet so few films focussed on them. Furthermore, for those people who don’t know about A-Team it also just feels like a moment of pandering.  
Look, Black Widow has never been one of my favorite characters but she deserved better. As soon as she was proclaimed infertile in Age of Ultron it was a death sentence because what use is a woman who can’t reproduce. She didn’t even get a funeral. Clint should have died. The snap forced Natasha to fully commit to her found family and lead the Avengers for years. The snap sent Clint into a debatably racist murder rampage. Natasha did something good after the snap it gave her more purpose. Clint’s purpose was to bring his family back and he could still do that by sacrificing himself. It’s honestly far more satisfying to see Natasha get her happy ending than Clint because Clint’s ending is just far too similar to his story in Age of Ultron. It is just hilariously underwhelming when everyone else has an emotional ending just to have Clint’s be a regurgitated version of him retiring with his family in Ultron. Also, Natasha dying for guilt over some vague bad that’s she’s done in her past that we know nothing about is so unsatisfying. This video I feel also sums up a lot of my feelings on this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A81p1N2gnNY&t=649s. Also from a monetary standpoint, not that Disney needs more money, but there’s way more demand for Black Widow films than Hawkeye. Just why Hawkeye, no one gives a sh*t.
More so I’m not against Tony using the gauntlet but I think it got in the way of Nebula having a fully satisfying conclusion to her arc. At least one woman should have had a satisfying, fully realised arc. It would have been great if Nebula got to finally kill Thanos but honestly, I wouldn’t be as mad at it if she hadn’t got wrongfully blamed for doing it by Thanos or had her arc conclude in an otherwise satisfying way. She gets abused further by Thanos for something she never did and never gets an opportunity to even just face him and confront him about ANYTHING. 
Also, Vision is barely mentioned in the film. Which wouldn’t be so frustrating if he wasn’t the reason why an ENTIRE ARMY of predominantly black people was sacrificed in Infinity War. They had to save him because they all apparently cared so much about him but can’t remember to mention him more than once afterward. 
I really hate that they were so scared of spoilers that they didn’t let all of the actors read their scripts ahead of time and cut out massive chunks of their scripts and didn’t tell them who they were playing against. I would rather spoilers than poor acting that ruins the timelessness of a film. This is meant to be epic! 
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brightnote · 9 months
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All of the great Maria Hill moments in Secret Invasion
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this bestie hug scene 
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this scene where she realizes her demise is imminent because she just saw agent ross die turn into a skrull in front of her and knows she’s gonna be a goner no matter what but also the hair. 
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this scene where she gets to explain the plot of the episode to the audience so we understand what is going on and why we should care while rocking this v-neck and gay stud earrings.
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additional v-neck appreciation
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this scene where she grabbed her arm and rocked the v-neck again and also has A+ hair.
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this scene where we got a great shot of this hair again
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this scene where she ate one piece of barely popped popcorn, confirming to us that she is a human and not a robot i guess also Nick lmao you can’t make popcorn just for yourself dude. also i just noticed that this is an extension of Maria’s red/white & blue color scheme here! 
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this quick shot where she is smiling at Nick getting out of the SUV aka her house I assume since she is basically always getting in or out of SUVS???
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this scene where she gets to leave her SUV house because she noticed a short person and was immediately like a short person in a tv show? that’s SUS! 
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this scene where she walked outside, i loved this, she looks great outside walking, i would love more scenes where Maria walks outside alive.
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this shot where her hair was fucking perfect 
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this last moment of perfect hair before G’iah fucking wrecks it
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this moment when she was like, how dare you be a short person, you better not mess up my hair in this poorly lit tunnel we are about to have a hairography fight in!!! 
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this moment where she legit held her own for a moment in a poorly lit tunnel that was not that way just to hide stunt doubles against G’iah in this hairography fight... (Also apparently, just being a skrull G’iah has super strength so it’s amazing that Maria Hill didn’t die in this encounter, also why wouldn’t G’iah just kill her, she’s about to be fine with killing 2000 people in a bombing?) NGL I made fun of this scene a lot the camera work is horrible and it’s so awkward and it makes no sense. 
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this scene where she sat the gayest way possible in A RUSSIAN DIVE BAR
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then this scene where she changed to her only other article of clothing, a second gray hoodie like a mom in a 2012 yogurt commercial.
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and finally, when Nick brought back those infrared glasses from space that he just happened to have like he knew they were gonna need them ahead of time and then acting like they are essential for some reason to this very dumb and terrible plan. But NGL they did look gay and cute as hell. 
I refuse to look at any screen caps further into Operation Glasses 
(( Also, I was just thinking about how even if she did survive being shot that dirty bomb radiation would have gotten her, right? Also, why did the dirty bombs not affect real Fury? Surprise another plot hole. ))
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