#making a list of our 284 little pet shops (all flea market buys obv) sorted by type of animals into families in which everyone had names | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

talaricula · 2 years

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i don't have an official diagnosis or anything but it's funny how having a physical disability can blind everyone to the possibility that you may be neurodivergent

like i am missing an eye and have less-than-excellent vision and everyone jumped to that as an explanation for things that, in hindsight, are very common symptoms of autism, whether or not i have enough of them to qualify as Actually Autistic

I'm not sensitive to bright lights but i used to get physically sick (nauseous to the point of throwing up sometimes) at every single party i went to/every time (admittedly v few) i went out, and now i recognise that it was DEFINITELY severe sensory overload from crowds+loud music+flashing/strobing lights, but when I talked about it to parents and doctors they went "idk? maybe the fact that you only have one eye means you can't process strobing lights and it makes you motion sick?"

i started walking on tiptoes from the moment i started walking, which i've now learned is like A Blatant Sign your child may have The Autimsm, but doctors told my parents it was prob bc i had v bad vision as a toddler (which was true, i was almost blind) and couldn't see adults' faces well so walked on tiptoes to be closer to their face to see them more clearly

i have (and have always had) v noticeable facial tics (blinking, scrunching up my eyes, grimacing intensely when concentrating) and ppl were just like ah yes prob a low vision/prosthetic discomfort problem when i had v good glasses and the most comfortable prosthetic available

i'm very, very, very uncomfortable in crowds (too much pressing too many different sources of noise not enough space to breathe no easy way to get out) and it hit me like a truck when i went back into "the world" after my year in hospital and it took me years to stop defaulting to "oh it's prob bc i have mobility issues now and feel uncomfortable being less fast and mobile in crowds than i used to be or bc i have been made uncomfy by my experience of being in a wheelchair in crowds (which, tbf, crowds suck to wheelchair users)" (when, cf above, crowds + sensory overload used to make me throw up)

idk it's just amusing to notice this kind of stuff

#this brought oon by yesterday's photosensitivity post #bc tbh i'm still not sure if the need for LIGHT EVERYWHERE is only low vision #(it's def that for the most part esp as my contrast vision is diminishing a lot lately)#or maybe also undersensitivity to light? idk #anyway i also had the Obvious Funny Symptoms as a child #the Special Interests ofc (persisting to this day rather obviously)#i got SO engrossed in books that my mum could stand 1m away from me and yell my name several times and i wouldn't notice #(let alone notice that they were already all seated at the dinner table)#playing lego was Building And Organising the perfect home first before we could even think about bringing out the lego dolls #playing barbies or dress-up was Organising A Ball (writing invitations with matching ink and stamps - picking outfits - making a program)#playing little pet shop was (and i kid you not! this is sincere!)#making a list of our 284 little pet shops (all flea market buys obv) sorted by type of animals into families in which everyone had names #picked according to a common theme (the dogs were animorphs character for example and the bunnies all had F names)#including a short description of each little doll next to their name #and then setting all of their houses and families up in the Exact Same Order every time in a giant circle in the barn #yes my sister threatened to murder me several times #i did do a lot of Imaginative Play tho apparently thatis a symptom of Non-Autism #i do have a lot of those too #like excessive talking and excessive eye-contact and being v sociable #which is holding me back from trying to get an official diagnosis

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