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bastionkeeper · 6 years

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1) Taako pulls off some sweet flips with Carey and Killian, so much so it becomes a regular thing, one day it's going great but Taako ends up with a super broken arm (like breaks in three different places) he's not in pain but he's on enough painkillers to make an elephant high. Kravitz of course comes to the hospital after Killian calls apologizing. Taako looks at Kravitz, sniffling and just asks "are you my husband????? These nice ladies said he was coming." Kravitz just smiles and corrects

2) him. "I'm your fiancé love." Taako just smiles and spends probably twenty minutes just holding Kravitz's hand while asking Kravitz if he likes ferrets and Mongeese. Killian is apologizing so much "he's on the really REALLY good shit, he's gonna be like this for at least the rest of the day. It was the only way they could get him to hold still for the stitches and X-rays and shit." Taako tries to shush everyone when they try to curse "there's a little tiny baby human nearby, I know it."

3) of corse that baby is Angus, who brought some crackers from the cafeteria. "See! It's the tiny human who likes to read!!!!" Killian has to direct Taako's hug to Kravitz. Taako doesn't mind, he's hugging a handsome guy, a handsome guy who's apparently his husband to be!!!!! Taako just kinda doesn't stop hugging Kravitz, mostly because he's tired and mostly because Kravitz is holding his arm so it doesn't hurt. "I love you, you know that?" Taako just tells everyone how much he loves Kravitz.

4) Taako finally sleeps and he can go home when he's not loopy anymore. Lup films all of it. -Bunny

I had to drabble this, under the cut

Taako usually steered clear of any physical exertion, preferring to trick others into doing the heavy lifting for him. Then again, he was a dexterous motherfucker, and Team Sweet Flips was loving it. Who was he to deny his fans?

It had started with just some gymnastic exercises, they met up in the mornings and flipped around or flipped off depending on the mood. Then they’d hit breakfast and Taako had to admit he was enjoying those workout endorphins.

But then Taako mentioned his experience with surfing and one thing lead to another until they were taking the cannon down to the beach.

Somehow, here in his comfort zone, this was when he wiped out and smashed his arm to bits on a rock.

A string of very colorful elven curses and one orb back up to the base later, Kravitz and Lup were called out of work as “emergency contacts”.

“Hey uh...” Carey was pacing nervously in front of the room where they had Taako, her tail whipping about like an angry cat’s. “We...we uh didn’t mean to break your boy!”

“I’m pretty sure he broke himself,” Lup snorted.

“Please don’t drag us to hell,” Carey practically whimpered.

“They’re not gonna drag you to hell, hun,” Killian joined the group, handing her wife a coffee and taking a sip from her own.

“Well...not yet...” Lup said with a wink and a devilish grin.

Normally Kravitz would join in on the teasing (it was a popular misconception that Kravtiz struggled to keep Lup and Barry in line, when truly it was Barry that had to stop Kravitz and Lup from having bets to see who could scare the piss out of the bounty first) but he was worried about Taako.

He knew Taako had been in worse situations of course, had worse injuries, maybe it was just jitters from being recently engaged. Maybe he was afraid that now that he had something good it could be taken away from him?

“C’mon space cadet.” Lup wrapped an arm around Kravitz’s shoulder and pulled him into Taako’s room.

“You’re gonna get a kick out of this, Lup,” Killian chortled. “He’s high as a fucking kite. He’s high as Avi on fantasy 420. He’s higher than the base!”

Indeed, Taako was on a cocktail of painkillers and sedatives. The former to deal with the three way break, the latter to get the elf to sit still long enough for anyone to do anything about it without cussing out and casting spells on the doctors.

“He almost got a magic missile off before they jabbed him in the arm,” Carey said, taking a seat in the corner of the room.

“What. The fuck. Is that.”

“Taako, it’s me, Carey,” Carey groaned, rolling her eyes. Kravitz took it from her reaction that this had been going on awhile.

“Pssst. Killian. Please tell me you see the lizard too,” Taako pleaded with the orc woman.

“Nope, I don’t see anything,” Killian replied.

“Fuck, I’m dying,” Taako groaned, laying back in the bed. Then Kravitz caught his eye and he gasped, his eyes going wide.

“Who is that?” he asked. “Hey, hey, Killian move.” Taako weakly tried to push the beefcake that was Killian out of the way.

“Hello, dear,” Kravitz chuckled, sitting on the edge of the bed and taking the hand that wasn’t in a cast.

Taako shot Lup a look, and put a hand aside his mouth as if that would make the conversation private. “Hey, Lulu, check out the hottie. I think he’s into me.”

Lup had to cover her mouth to keep from giggling.

“Oh, I’m definitely into you,” Kravitz grinned. “The Taako? From tv? Most certainly.”

“What?” Taako gasped again. “No fucking way, but you’re so cool! And and uh...you’re so pretty! You wouldn’t go out with me.”

“I’m engaged to you, dear.” By now the entire room was trying to hold in laughter as Taako, slumper over and bleary eyed, blushed bright red and smiled wide.

“YOU’RE FUCKING WITH ME,” he yelled.

“I’m really not,” Kravitz giggled. “Look, see the ring?”

“Who proposed?” Taako asked.

“You did.”

“And you said yes?”

“I did.”

Suddenly, fat tears started to well up in Taako’s eyes. Kravitz grew concerned for a moment, but then he noticed that Taako was still smiling.

“Oh my god I’m so lucky,” Taako sobbed, wiping the tears away slowly and having some trouble of it since his hand and arm were encased in a cast. “Oh man, I’m so fucking lucky, Lup I’m gonna marry the most gorgeous man.”

“Hey, Taako, do you remember that fifteen gold you owe me by any chance?” Lup asked.

“Okay, you’re trying to take adva-...adv...advantage of me because I’m stoned,” Taako said, pointing an accusing finger at Lup. “Well my FUTURE HUSBAND will protect me.” He grabbed Kravitz’s hand and lay it down with a thud on his chest. “Oh my god my fiance is so pretty.”

Lup couldn’t hold in the laughter anymore, she was gripping at her sides crying from laughter.

“Ohmygod, Lup, shut up!” Taako hushed. “You’re too loud for the baby!”

There was silence in the room for a second as everyone exchanged looks.

“...what baby, Taako?” Lup asked.

“My baby!” Taako said, exasperated. “You know...what’s...what’s his face...my baby!”

Lup and Kravitz shared a worried look. They both knew that Taako was tight-lipped about his secrets and especially about the ten years he’d spent away from Lup. That plus the scrambled memory he’d got from the voidfish digging in his brain led to several awkward dinners where he would let slip something about his past and then refuse to elaborate when pressed.

Was this one of these moments?

“Sir, please, you should calm down!” Angus entered the room with a small tray of crackers and a glass of water. “You might hurt yourself.”

“SEE!” Taako said triumphantly. “My baby!”

“He’s been calling me that all day,” Angus said apologetically, adjusting his glasses. “He’s very confused.”

Taako leaned out of the bed and grabbed Angus in a hug from behind. “You guys, look how tall he is now. He’s smart and he goes to college and I’m so proud of him.” Taako started weeping into Angus’s hair.

Angus at least had the decency to hide how pleased he was.

“This is the best day of my life,” Lup cackled.

Taako was cleared to leave well before the drugs wore off, so Kravitz took him home. It was a bit of a struggle as Taako kept trying to make out with him, and then bursting into happy tears about how Kravitz was wearing his ring. He did finally manage to get Taako to his old room in the reclaimers dormitories, and wrangled him into bed.

“God...everything is moving, Krav make it stop moving,” Taako moaned, pressing a pillow over his face.

Kravitz chuckled quietly and joined Taako in the bed, pulling the elf up to lay against his chest.

“Make it...you can, you always make me safe,” Taako muttered, clearly drifting off. “I hope I make you feel safe...I’m gonna be the best husband ever...I’m gonna make you breakfast every day...no, twice a day everyday...and I’m gonna let you wear my clothes and I’m gonna have so much sex with you.”

“Taako...”

“Soooooo much sex. And I’m gonna always be nice to you, and I’m gonna get you tickets to music stuff...and I’m gonna...M’gonna...”

Kravitz was wearing the biggest smile when Taako finally fell asleep in his arms.

#taakitz #taako #taz #taz balance #the adventure zone #the adventure zone balance #kravitz #lup #carey #killian #angus mcdonald #blatantbalderdash #bunny #Anonymous

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