#looooove knowing how much pain and suffering she's wishing upon me without knowing it
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#i looooooove crying into my mother's lap and not being able to tell her what's wrong when she tries to comfort me#because if i tell she'd be the first to want me dead <3#i looooove having to listen to her spout the most vitriolic homophobic hate speech and nod and laugh#looooove knowing how much pain and suffering she's wishing upon me without knowing it#love knowing that not only would my dad wish me dead but he'd probably do it himself if he knew i've dated a girl#love not having a support system or a single support person except them and having to play along so i dont lose that!#i'm going to take a nap and not think about this and when i wake up we'll be a happy family again <3#happy pride everyone#homophobia tw
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