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#look how discomforted joel looks :( it’s practically washed over his face
scootkiddo · 1 year
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thinking about how joel was wringing his hands here. the amount of visible discomfort he felt when maria was offering hot showers, warm clothes, houses to stay in- something he was supposed to be able to offer to ellie
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he was dwelling in such denial over his fear of being an insufficient caretaker and guardian to the point of feeling physical stiffness in his body and over his face. to the point of claiming that they had been “doing just fine” because his mind couldn’t comprehend the antithesis of such. jackson was the physical embodiment of what he longed to give ellie- real comfort and security- and he struggled with this reality hammering into his head of just how self-sufficient this community was as opposed to him. he was responsible for ellie. he was meant to provide the best for her. and here was someone else who had procured and provided the necessities joel hadn’t come close to replicating
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cloudfiveclub · 5 years
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ahh it’s finally here sorry for the wait anon!
there’s also one more zabdiel request and erick request sitting in my ask box and i am trying my best to get to it but it also depends if my brain will cooperate with me 😣 i promise to get to them eventually though 😅
enjoy this xx
Replacement [Zabdiel De Jesus]
Zabdiel's name fell from your lips like a broken record as your orgasm washed over you. Your thighs quivered as he filled your cunt, both your juices mixing together. He let out a loud groan as he emptied himself inside you, before pulling out slowly to let you savour the feeling of his cock sliding through your walls for the last time that afternoon. You shivered at the feeling of oversensitivity, but let out a tiny and satisfied whimper.
He immediately collapsed beside you in a huff, laughing despite his shortness of breath. "Good as always, amor," he chuckled. Both of you sat up against the pillows and he took the opportunity to wrap his arm around your shoulder, and you let him. But you couldn't stop the feeling of discomfort and guilt from returning.
"Do you want to have dinner tonight, amor? There's a new place at the pier. Some seafood stuff, I think," he suggested. You smiled superficially, breathing out deeply as you sat up further. You lent forward to reach across the bed to grab your bra, which had been carelessly tossed to the corner of the mattress during your activities.
"Uh, I have plans tonight actually," you told him hesitantly as you moved away to reclothe yourself.  Zabdiel frowned when you said that, sitting up as he watched you walk around the room to grab your various articles of clothing. He wasn't going to lie to himself, he was disappointed. It had started off as a casual thing and both of you had agreed that it wasn't anything exclusive. It was just sex and you guys were just best friends. Just something to preoccupy yourselves with and in short, just for fun and for the heck of it.
But as time went by, the physical intimacy with you turned into a craving for emotional intimacy. Zabdiel knew he liked you. A lot. And he could only hope you felt the same way. You liked kissing him during sex, which was different compared to his previous sexual partners. You actually didn't mind when he slowed down the pace to make love to you rather than go hard and rough. He hoped this were tell tale signs you liked him back, but right now he was too much of a wuss to tell you.
"Oh," was all he could respond with. He tried hiding his disappointment, but a slight whine was evident in his voice. "What are you doing?" he asked.
"Uh, dinner. And I'm going to the carnival after that, I think," you mumbled as you pulled your shirt over your head. You grabbed your phone off Zabdiel's dresser and cracked a smile at the lockscreen, seeing that the recent messages were from Joel.
hey there, can i pick you up at 6? :)    3:56pm you can pick a later timing if you want   3:59pm or earlier, i don't mind  3:59pm
You bit back a dumb smile as you read his texts. You could practically feel his nervousness through your screen; he was too cute.
"Uh, with who?" Zabdiel questioned further, frowning as he tried his best not to sound too jealous. He didn't want to pry too much either.
You froze up momentarily when he said that. God, you couldn't tell him it was his bandmate. You didn't know if he would flip his shit. You couldn't tell him you were going on a date with his best friend just after having sex with him. You bit your lips, preoccupying yourself with putting on the rest of your clothes as you stumbled over your words.
"It's... uh... I-It's someone. This guy... he.... uh, you-you don't r-really, um, know him," you mumbled unsurely. "Just some friend. Just a dinner."
He frowned, squinting his eyes at your vague answer and you nervously looked at him, awaiting his response. Eventually, he sighed and shrugged his shoulders, reaching over to the bedside table to grab his phone.
"Alright. Have fun," he stated simply. There was a slight edge to his tone, and his response was too snappy for your liking. You worried if you had upset him, but he seemed to have busied himself with his phone, so you grabbed your things, leaving the matter aside, and left him after saying goodbye.
-
"Ta-da!"
Joel shoved a whole box of pizza in front of you, and you couldn't help the giggle that escaped your lips. He hopped onto the couch next to you, immediately sinking in dangerously at how bouncy and soft it was. He snuggled up to your side and placed the pizza box down on the table in front the both of you, opening it up and grabbing a slice.
He held it up to you, opening his mouth to get you to do the same. You laughed, mimicking his actions and you let him feed you the slice, taking a bite and catching as much of the stray cheese strands as you could with your mouth and fingers. As you shoved the food into your mouth, you phone went off. You checked it, but your heart dropped slightly when you saw who it was from.
Princesa, you free now?   9:41pm Can I come over? ;)   9:41pm
You swallowed the food in your mouth, sneaking a cautious glance at Joel. Fortunately, he was too preoccupied with devouring the pizza and flipping through the shows on netflix to pay you too much attention at the moment. You typed Zabdiel back a quick reply, saying you were too busy and that you couldn't do tonight. The last thing you wanted was for him to find out about you and Joel. No, the both of you weren't exclusive. Yet, at least. You were hoping Joel would ask you to be his girlfriend soon. You really liked him.
But you were still slightly guilty. You were still sneaking around with Zabdiel behind his back; his best friend and bandmate. And you still needed to find a way to break your arrangement off with Zabdiel. You anxiously gnawed on your nail as you re-read Zabdiel's two latest messages over and over again. You knew he was going to push though, you had never once said no to him when he asked you for sex. He always found a way to get you to do anything for him willingly, especially when it came to fucking. But lately, you had been trying your best to put off your shagging sessions more and more, and you knew he was becoming suspicious.
But this was a date; and you couldn't let him come over to your house now. Especially not with Joel snuggling with you on your sofa.
"Do you want Thor? Or... The Avengers?" Joel asked, bringing you out of your deep ponder. You gave him a stressed smile, trying your best to cover up your jitters as you set your phone down for a second.
"Thor. I haven't watched that in a while," you told him. You wiggled around a little, bringing yourself closer to him and letting him wrap his arm around you. Your phone went off again, and you discreetly checked it away from him. Just as you predicted, Zabdiel had asked you again, followed by a string of messages saying that he missed you and he needed you badly. All in lewd descriptions, though.
Your face burned, and you gazed up at Joel cautiously to make sure he wasn't looking before you messaged Zabdiel back to try and tell him you really couldn't do tonight. But you stopped short and almost screamed when you saw his last text.
I'm coming over.   9:53pm
You gasped a little too loudly at that, which gained Joel's attention. He turned to you in concern. "What? What's wrong?" He questioned, looking you up and down in assumption that he had done something. You shook your head as you stared at him with wide eyes.
"Uh- nothing, no. Muscle twitch. It was a shock," you fibbed quickly as you placed your phone down on the table. "Let's just watch the movie."
You ignored his suspicious look and faced the television to avoid any further questioning, and thank god, he followed along. But you could barely focus on the movie, and Joel's comforting arm did nothing to ease your nerves. You knew your doorbell was going to ring anytime soon, and you were already formulating a plan to kick Zabdiel out before he saw Joel or vice versa.
But the time passed by all too quickly, and only ten minutes later, your doorbell rang and your heart stopped short. Joel frowned and turned towards the door. "Who's that? Did we order more food? I thought everything was here..."
You plastered on a nervous smile, wriggling out from his arms and hopping over the back of the couch. "Nah, probably my neighbour asking me where her cat went again. Crazy, haha," you lied, almost breathless from how nervous you were. You could tell Joel didn't really believe you but he let it go, nodding unsurely and facing the screen again to continue the movie.
You scampered over to the door, yanking it open and coming face to face with your friend. Before he had a chance to say anything, you pushed him out, barreling out the door with him and shutting the door behind you.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" you hissed, causing the cheeky grin from his face to be slapped away. He narrowed his eyes at you, staring at frosted window on your door as if he could see what was going on inside.
"Are you actually busy?" He asked gruffily without answering your question. You scoffed in disbelief when he said that.
"Yes," you replied. "And I can't do anything right now." You breathed in deeply, screwing your eyes shut and rubbing your temples. Zabdiel frowned, and before you could stop him, he hopped over to your window. Which you had left wide open and void of curtains.
He peeped in, moving around to see the inside of your house, and you hurried after him to block his vision. But he had seen Joel at that point, and he whipped his head round to face you.
He was clearly confused, but you could see him jumping to all sorts of conclusions in his mind. "Joel? What's he doing there?" He demanded. You opened you mouth to respond to him, but he cut you off before you could say anything. "Are you guys on a date? Is that why you can't hang out with me?"
"Hang out? We both know you just wanted to come over so I could suck you dick," you spat harshly, voice still low to make sure Joel couldn't hear from the inside.
Zabdiel's jaw clenched and he widened his eyes at you. "Are you seeing him?"
You swallowed as you stared at him defiantly. "You don't control my life," you hissed, totally avoiding his question. Truth be told, you didn't know if you could even tell him the truth. You knew he might feel betrayed if you told him you'd been sneaking around with his best friend. Worse, he might feel bad towards Joel. 
Zabdiel stared you down and you recoiled back slowly, and it shocked you to actually see him so mad. "You like him," he said shortly. It wasn't a question; it was a statement. And you realised your dodgy answers had basically just confirmed it for him. You couldn't deny anything further. 
"So what if i do?" you asked, voice going slightly higher as you became more nervous. He scoffed incredulously, mirroring your actions of folding his arms. He brought his gaze away from you, and glared angrily at your window, which you knew was just indirectly aimed at Joel even though they couldn't see each other. 
"Oh come on? You aren't jealous that I might be sleeping with him too, are you? But no, I am not sleeping with him. Joel is actually really nice," you told him, ending off your sentence with a huff. But just like that, a lightbulb went off in your head. Suddenly all the times he chose to go slow and intimate in bed, all the lunch and dinner dates he liked inviting you to, all the possessiveness and short answers he gave you whenever you talked about another guy made sense. He was jealous, alright, but not for the reason you thought. 
"You like me," you concluded, pretty much in disbelief yourself. He avoided your eyes, keeping them trained on your open window, which only meant confirmation for you that you were right. 
You took a deep breath, closing your eyes for a second. "I'm sorry, Zab, but we need to break this off. I really like Joel and I don't want to ruin anything with him," you told him sombrely. "We'll talk about this another day. I have a date."
You didn't bother catching Zabdiel's reaction. 
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