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#look . if you look at older lloyd the sand is stuck to him
withdenim · 11 months
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How sad to watch him grow
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rosiehunterwolf · 3 years
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There's Sand Everywhere!
(quick shoutout to @fires-of-ninjago for the title idea and inspiration for this- you remember that ask game where people suggested titles for fics and you had to come up with a story to go along with it? Well, he sent in this title, and I came up with this, and liked it so much that I screenshotted it and- here we are!)
Prompts: Summer and Heist
Word Count: 7,922
Characters: The whole gang (including Pixal) :)
Timeline: Between seasons 12 and 13
Trigger Warnings: none (holy shit that's never happened before-)
Summary: It was just supposed to be a day off. A simple beach day. But when your family consists of six ninja and a samurai, including a nindroid convinced he’s a detective, his reluctant sidekick, an aquaphobe, a girl who can command the sea, an unassuming teen who seems to attract every animal he crosses paths with, and a bunch of argumentative idiots, nothing is ever that easy.
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“We,” Kai proclaimed, surveying the room, “Need a day off.”
Lloyd shrieked at the fire ninja’s sudden outburst, falling out of his chair. Jay broke into snickers, and Lloyd shot him a glare.
“Kai,” Zane sighed, “get off the table.”
Kai stuck his tongue out at the nindroid, but hopped down, anyway. “Look at you guys!” Kai waved his hands at the group for emphasis. Papers fluttered to the ground where Lloyd had knocked them in his fall, Jay and Nya were sitting on the ground, surrounded by stacks of books tall enough to be mistaken for some kind of fort, Pixal was gathering some of the papers that had gone everywhere, while Cole and Zane had only just paused in their task of boxing up and carrying crates to the far side of the room. “Filing documents and organizing? Boooring.”
“Tasks which you’ve been a big help with, by the way,” Lloyd grumbled, as Cole offered him a hand and pulled him to his feet. He turned back to the desk, shuffling papers off of the keyboard of his laptop, the screen filled with lines of script and dozens of files that made Kai's brain hurt just to look at.
Nya pushed her reading glasses up her nose. “Jay and I technically aren’t working. We chose to do this of our own free will.”
Kai rolled his eyes at her. “What kind of psychopaths read for fun?”
Jay kicked his leg out, aiming for Kai’s ankle, but Cole quickly stepped between them, stopping the conflict before it could escalate into anything worse.
“We’re not reading them, we’re sorting them in order from most potentially useful to least so. They’re mechanics and engineering books. You never know when they might come in handy in a pinch.”
“Oh, because that’s so much more interesting. If you guys wanna spend all your free time geeking out, fine, what do I care. But what about the rest of you? C’mon, Lloydster. You don’t really wanna spend your entire day doing this,” he gestured at the laptop and paper-strewn desk- “do you?”
“It’s not about whether or not I want to. This stuff is important, Kai.”
“Lloyd’s right,” Zane agreed. “With all the crazy missions we’ve been on lately, we’ve neglected all our paperwork, and taking care of the Monastery.”
“It’s because we’ve been gone so long that we need a break!” Kai argued. “We just got done saving the entire city from an evil video game AI! If that’s not worth celebrating, I don’t know what is.”
“Technically,” Nya remarked, not even glancing up from the book she was skimming, “That was Jay who did that.”
Kai spluttered, ignoring the smug look on Jay’s face. “Okay, yeah, but we helped! And what about Aspheera? Or the Never Realm? That was all of us. And we didn’t have time to properly recuperate from that before we got launched right into Prime Empire!”
Pixal’s brow furrowed. “Y’know, he has a point…”
A frown flitted across Zane’s face. “I suppose we have been working for a long time…”
“That’s what I’ve been saying! Come on, let’s do something fun.”
“Not video games,” Cole groaned. “Jay and I spent the last three days playing a Lava Zombies tournament, and I’m all gamed-out.”
“No, let’s actually go somewhere. Like the-”
“The library!” Jay pitched.
“Or the museum!” Zane suggested.
“No!” Kai snapped. “Man, you guys are so lame. I meant somewhere fun. We should go to-”
“The beach!” Nya cried suddenly, standing up so quickly that she sent a pile of books toppling over. “Brilliant idea, Kai!”
“Wait, no,” he yelped. “That’s not what I was going to-”
But no one heard him. They were already scrambling to their feet, murmuring excitedly to one another.
“Guys, wait!” he cried. “Why would you want to go to the beach? It’s all sandy, and wet, and-”
“Don’t worry, Kai,” Nya giggled, “we won’t let the ocean hurt you.”
“That’s not-” he felt himself turning red as the others laughed. “That’s not what I meant! I just thought… wouldn’t laser tag or something be a lot more fun?”
The others glanced at each other, uncertain. Zane stepped forward. “Let’s take a vote. All in favor of laser tag, raise your hands.”
Kai lifted his hand, but no one else did. He scowled at them.
“And all in favor of the beach?”
Six hands went up.
“Seems like we have a clear winner. Let’s get going, shall we?”
---
“Do you have the towels?”
“All here!”
“What about the sunscreen?”
“Hold on- Jay, did you grab the sunscreen?”
“What?”
Lloyd cupped his hands around his mouth, yelling louder. “Did you grab the sunscreen?”
“Oh yeah, it’s here! Wait, do you have my-”
“Your what?” Lloyd called, walking over to him, passing Pixal and Zane as they came out of the kitchen. The female nindroid sighed.
“Can’t anything get done around here without everyone making such a racket?”
“Nope,” Nya elbowed her playfully. “When you’ve been with these idiots as long as I have, you get used to it.”
Pixal’s eyes widened. “I can’t imagine ever being used to all this.”
Nya smiled. “Did I mention I’m slightly deaf?”
“We finished making the picnic,” Zane told her, holding out the basket he was carrying. “Is everyone ready to go?”
Nya eyed the guys, who were running around the Monastery, barely avoiding tripping over one another. “‘Ready’ is an overstatement.”
“Hold your horses, we’re almost done,” Cole grunted, heaving the large beach bag over to them. “Have a little faith in us, Nya.”
Nya put her hand on her hip, waiting- and a second later, there was a crashing sound followed by an angry chorus of yells from Kai, Lloyd, and Jay.
Cole grimaced, rubbing the back of his head. “Okay, maybe you’re right to not have any faith in us.”
---
After an intense, fifteen-minute argument about what mode of transportation they would take, they ended up deciding on the city bus, and finally, finally got out the door. The bus ride went off without a hitch, for once, (except for a brief panic about not having the proper change for the bus fare, but luckily Zane had a few extra dollars on him), and before Nya knew it, they were staking out an area on Ninjago City beach. She was beginning to think this could actually work out.
Maybe.
“Check out my abs, dude.”
“They’re the same as last time.”
“Are not! I’m way more shredded than last time we went swimming.”
“Okay, that’s just a straight-up lie. I saw you sneak that extra piece of pie last night.”
“You better not be disrespecting my muscles, Flat Stanley.”
“Hey! I’m way more muscly than I used to be.”
“Are you kidding? We call you ‘green bean’ for a reason, and it’s not just because you’re the green ninja. You’re a twig!”
“I’m a twig? Have you seen Jay?”
“Hey, don’t rope me into this, green machine, and, for your information, I weigh a whole fifteen pounds more than you!”
“Yeah, well, you’re also two years older than me!”
“I think the lesson we need to learn here is that neither of you have abs anywhere near as pronounced as mine-”
Zane sighed, rolling his eyes. “Here, guys,” he held out a pouch to the group, “this is a waterproof pouch, you can store all your valuables in here.”
They quickly filled the pouch with phones, watches, and wallets. However, as Lloyd pulled back, he tripped over Jay’s foot, and half the guys collapsed into a pile, groaning.
“Jay! Get your foot out of my face!”
“Right after you get your elbow out of my ribs!”
Nya turned away from them, shaking her head. Glancing at Pixal, she asked, “Wanna help me get set up?”
The nindroid nodded, and they pulled the large picnic blanket out of the bag, unfolding it to lay it across the sand.
“Lloyd Montgomery Garmadon,” Kai cried, “You get back here right this instant!”
Nya looked up from the blanket to see Kai running through the sand after Lloyd, his feet sinking into the sand with each step, making it difficult for him to retain his balance. He waved a bottle of sunscreen at the green ninja. “It’s sunny out today! And you know how easily you burn!”
“No way!” Lloyd whined. “You always make me stay out of the water for at least twenty minutes to let it set, and it’s way too hot for me to wait that long! I wanna go swimming now.”
Kai lunged for him, and Lloyd yelped, barely dodging out of the way.
“Over here, Lloyd!” Jay cried, already wading into the shallows of the ocean. “He won’t follow you into the water!”
Lloyd hurried after him, splashing up water as he went, accidentally splattering Kai and causing the red ninja to flinch back with a yelp. Sure enough, he froze at the water’s edge, glaring at Jay and Lloyd, where they stood, only about ten feet away, laughing at him.
Zane rubbed a hand over his face, sighing. “They’re both going to get skin cancer, aren’t they?”
“At the very least, they’re going to be bright red tomatoes,” Cole laughed. “Oh, it’s going to be a blast when they take showers.”
Zane stared at him, horrified. “Please don’t let Jay do that again. He had the worst blisters, last time-”
Cole held up his hands. “It was a joke, Zane! A joke!”
Zane narrowed his eyes and didn’t reply.
Nya laughed, grabbing Pixal’s hand. “Come on. Wanna go bodyboarding with me?”
Pixal glanced at her. “I don’t know how.”
“That’s fine.” Nya stepped on the board, flipping it up into her hand and handing it to Pixal, before grabbing a second one for herself. “I can teach you!”
“Thanks, Nya.”
As they walked down towards the shore, they passed Kai and Cole, who had finally managed to get Jay and Lloyd out of the water. Cole had his arms locked around Jay, preventing him from running away as Kai slathered sunscreen across his face. Lloyd was sitting in the sand beside him, pouting, his face already smeared in white.
Nya grinned at him. “Can you guys handle yourselves for twenty minutes if Pix and I go out bodyboarding?”
Lloyd stuck his tongue out at her, and Kai rolled his eyes. “We’ll be fine, Nya. I think you’re forgetting we save the city on a regular basis? We’re perfectly capable.”
Nya put a hand near Pixal’s ear, whispering loudly into it. “Betcha anything the beach will be on fire by the time we get back.”
The two ran off, giggling at the sight of Kai’s smoldering glare, before he could set them on fire.
---
To Kai’s credit, he did not set the beach on fire, or anything, for that matter, but when Nya and Pixal returned, they found him and Cole shoveling sand onto Zane, who was chest-deep by this point.
“Zane!” Pixal exclaimed. “Are you alright?”
“When Kai told me he had something fun to show me, this wasn’t quite what I had imagined.”
“Aww, come on Zane!” Kai grinned. “I’m having a great time.”
Pixal shook her head, and stepped forward, grabbing Zane’s hand and pulling him up, sending sand cascading down everywhere. Cole and Kai groaned.
“Aww, come on, Pix, that took forever!” Cole muttered.
“Yeah, we were gonna shape it into a mermaid tail. Don’t you know how funny that would’ve been?”
“Humor is subjective.” Zane rubbed at his wrists. “Augh, now I’m going to have sand in my gears for weeks.” Shooting a glare at Kai, he added, “I’ll remember this the next time you ditch your swimming lessons.”
“Hey!” Kai yelped. “That’s totally different! Sand is warm, and solid, and most importantly, not dangerous!”
“You could suffocate,” Zane pointed out.
Kai scowled. “You’re a nindroid, you wouldn’t have suffocated.”
“You’re related to an elemental master of water. You won’t drown.”
“Being related to a master of water and being a master of water are two very different things! I control fire, not water, I can’t do anything to protect myself.”
Cole rolled his eyes. “You’re so lame. Remind me again why we brought our friend with aquaphobia to the beach?”
“Technically,” Zane said, raising a finger, “the word you’re looking for is thalassophobia. Kai doesn’t fear water in general, only large bodies, such as-”
“It was his idea,” Nya interrupted. “If it weren’t for him, we’d still be at the Monastery, filing papers.”
“I never suggested the beach!” Kai snapped. “That was your idea!”
“Yeah, well, your suggestions were lame. The beach was the obvious choice.”
“Hey,” Pixal interjected, suddenly realizing they were missing a couple of people. “Where are Jay and Lloyd?”
Cole sighed, pointing up towards their stuff, where Jay and Lloyd were struggling with a large, yellow duck inflatable that was very much not inflated at the moment. Jay had his lips around the mouthpiece, his face red.
“Blow harder, Jay,” Lloyd insisted, hovering by his side. “You’re hardly doing anything!”
Jay pulled his head back, breathing out heavily as the redness faded from his cheeks. “I’d like to see you do better! You’d probably pass out after a minute.”
“Would not!” Lloyd snatched the floaty away from him, blowing hard into the mouthpiece, putting even less air into the floaty than Jay had. His face reddened as he huffed desperately, although he still wasn’t making much progress. After a few moments, Jay pulled it away from him.
“Okay, that’s enough. I don’t want you to actually pass out.”
Lloyd glared at him, panting. “I wasn’t… going to… pass out.”
Jay sighed, grabbing the inflatable and staring at what looked to be the eyes and a very flat, crumpled-looking beak. “At this rate, we’re never going to get Mr. Quackington blown up.”
Lloyd’s nose wrinkled. “Mr. Quackington?”
Jay blinked at him. “Yeah, that’s his name.”
“No, it’s not! His name is Mr. Waddles!”
“Mr. Waddles? What kind of juvenile name is that?”
“Oh, like Mr. Quackington is any better!”
“It is! It’s loads better!”
“Nuh-uh.”
“Is so!”
“It’s not!” Lloyd snapped, green energy sparking between his fingers. Jay glanced down at them thoughtfully. “Hey, what if…”
Lloyd was evidently catching on to Jay’s train of thought, his eyes lighting up. “We can use my powers to inflate Mr. Waddles!”
Jay narrowed his eyes. “Quackington.”
Lloyd bared his teeth, the small fangs glinting. “Waddles.”
Jay sighed. “Okay, whatever. We can use your powers to inflate Mr. Waddles.”
Lloyd grinned widely, whether about the promise of getting his inflated duck or having won the name debate with Jay, Pixal couldn’t tell. He held up a hand and formed a basketball-sized sphere of green energy. Jay’s eyes widened, and he held the mouthpiece up to the energy. Lloyd channeled it inside, watching with glee as the duck puffed up, the yellow plastic slowly tinging green, making the duck look like he was about to be sick.
Zane took a step forward, holding his hand out. “Lloyd, wait-”
There was a sharp snapping noise as the floaty popped, and Lloyd and Jay cried out in horror as the yellow pieces of plastic fluttered to the ground. Lloyd fell to his knees, gripping the busted plastic and wailing, and Jay landed next to him, crying, “No! Mr. Waddles, you were so young!”
“I can’t believe he’s really gone,” Lloyd sniffed. “He was my best friend in the whole world.”
Kai threw up his hands. “Great. You spend the last several years of your life looking out for him only to get replaced by his inflatable plastic duck.”
“Oookay,” Nya said, walking over to Jay and Lloyd and ushering them towards the picnic blanket. “Someone’s obviously been out in the sun too long. Go sit under the umbrella and let’s have something to eat.”
“Good idea,” Zane agreed. “I’m sure we’re all getting hungry. Jay, could you grab the picnic basket? It’s right behind you.”
The lightning ninja grabbed the basket, peering inside briefly as he carried it towards them. “I hope you brought the Pringles. I could really go for some of those right now- augh!”
Before anyone could stop him, Jay was falling to the ground, the basket flying out of his hands and landing sideways in the sand.
“Jay!” Kai cried. “Look what you’ve done to our picnic!”
“Hey! That was totally your fault! Why did you leave your shoes right in the middle of the sand, perfectly positioned for someone to trip over?”
“Why were you clumsy enough to get in the way of my shoes?”
“Guys, guys, it’s okay,” Zane assured. Walking over, he carefully lifted the basket out of the sand. “I’m sure it’s still salvageable.”
“Yeah, but now all our food is going to taste like sand,” Lloyd moaned.
“Lloyd, the food barely touched the sand,” Nya pointed out.
“Doesn’t matter. Every time you go to the beach, if the food gets even remotely close to the sand, it always gets sand in it. Every time. It’s one of the great mysteries of the universe.”
“Well, I think you’ll survive,” she said, passing Lloyd a sandwich and a bag of pretzels. Lloyd took them, but narrowed his eyes.
“Brings a whole new meaning to the word ‘sandwich.’”
“Just eat your food, mister.”
Lloyd shot her a glare, but grudgingly obliged. As Pixal bit into her own sandwich, she realized Lloyd was right, she could feel granules of sand between her teeth as she chewed.
“Hey… at least it adds a little crunch, right?” Cole grinned.
Kai grimaced. “Next time, I elect we don’t let Jay anywhere near the picnic basket.”
Jay chucked a grape at him, but Kai turned at the last second, catching it in his mouth. “Ha!” His gleeful expression faded as he caught sight of something behind Jay. “Um, Lloyd, you have someone you wanna introduce us to?”
The group turned to see a seagull had approached them, tilting its head where it stood only a couple feet away from Lloyd. The green ninja was staring at the bird with wide eyes, an awed expression on his face.
“Lloyd,” Nya sighed, “please don’t tell me you fed it.”
“He’s not an it,” Lloyd snapped. “His name is Scully.”
“Great.” Nya rubbed her hands over her face. “We’re already into name territory.”
“Scully?” Kai’s nose wrinkled. “Isn’t that the name of the seagull from The Little Mermaid?”
“No, that’s Scuttle,” Lloyd sniffed. “They’re completely different.”
“Lloyd,” Pixal scolded, reaching for Lloyd’s wrist just as he tossed another chunk of his sandwich at the seagull, “Feeding wildlife is not a good idea, it can be dangerous-”
Lloyd shrieked suddenly as the bird launched itself at Lloyd’s face. He scrambled to his feet, screaming, and Kai lunged forward, pushing the others out of the way. “Move, move!”
“Get it off me, get it off me!” Lloyd shrieked as the bird’s wings flapped in his face, sending feathers everywhere.
“Blast it with your powers!” Kai called, looking worried but keeping a respectable distance.
“I can’t! He’s on my face!”
“Well, I can’t do it, I’ll set you on fire! Nya, you do it!”
“I’m trying, I’m trying,” the water ninja spat through gritted teeth, globes of water already forming in her hands. “I just need to get a clear shot! For the love of… Lloyd, stop moving so much!”
Lloyd hardly seemed to hear her. “He’s going to claw my eyes out,” he wailed, batting weakly at the creature.
“Nya!”
Nya quickly thrust her hands forward, sending a large ball of water at Lloyd’s head, drenching him and the seagull. The bird squawked angrily, falling to the ground.
“Oh my gosh, are you okay?” Nya and Kai darted over to him, Nya taking his face in her hands as Kai peered over her shoulder. A small red scratch stretched across his left cheek, but apart from that, he appeared unharmed, just frazzled.
“Dude!” Kai cried. “You just got attacked. By a seagull!”
“It owned you!”
Lloyd shot Jay a glare. “Did not.”
“You should have seen your face!” Jay laughed. “Oh wait, you couldn’t- there was a bird in the way!”
Lloyd crossed his arms. “I’d like to remind you how you reacted that time when my uncle set that berserk chicken on us.”
“The chicken had lightning powers. Hardly comparable to a simple seafowl, bud.”
“Ugh, I hope this doesn’t get infected,” Nya muttered, running her finger along the scratch. “We should probably get you checked for rabies when we get home.”
“Nya, I’m fine,” Lloyd groaned, pushing her off. “A seagull isn’t going to give me rabies.”
Nya shrugged. “With your luck, I can never be sure.”
“This is why you don’t give food to wild animals, Lloyd, it makes them bolder-”
“Watch out, Lloyd!” Jay shrieked suddenly, and they whipped around to see the seagull had caught its second wind, squawking as it charged at Lloyd.
Lloyd shrieked, taking off down the beach with the seagull in pursuit. Nya sighed, putting a hand on her head. Kai grinned, walking over to her and putting a hand on her shoulder. “Do you think he’ll learn his lesson?”
“No,” Nya said without hesitation. “Absolutely not. That’s the sad part.”
“Hey,” Cole said, pointing a finger down the beach. “The volleyball court’s just opened up. You guys wanna play?”
“Sure. Tell Lloyd he can join us when he gets that seagull taken care of.”
Nya glanced towards the green ninja, who was currently lobbing balls of energy at the bird and missing by an embarrassingly wide berth. “Looks like it could be a while.”
---
“Great job, team!” Nya cheered, high-fiving Pixal and shooting a grin at Cole. “Although, if I’m being honest, the rest of you didn’t put up much of a competition.”
“Hey, don’t look at me!” Kai snapped. “I was carrying the team! Jay, Lloyd, were you planning on helping me anytime soon?”
“I was trying!” Jay insisted. “But you kept getting in my way!”
“Because every time I let you get the ball, you dropped it!”
“Hey! I never said I was good at volleyball, okay? Why are you attacking me, Lloyd sucked too!”
“It’s not like I ever had time to fit in volleyball practice between all my green ninja training! It wasn’t exactly a top priority!” “Are you telling me you’ve never played before?” Kai spluttered.
“I’ve played!” Lloyd insisted. “Uh… once or twice.”
Kai facepalmed. “Why did I let you come on my team?”
Lloyd grinned widely. “‘Cause you love me.”
Cole elbowed him. “It’s because he lost the coin toss and Nya got to pick first.”
“Hey!” Jay yelped. “Are you telling me you would have picked me last?”
“After I saw you play, yeah,” Cole snorted.
“I’m still not convinced on some of those calls, Zane,” Kai said, walking over to the nindriod. “I don’t think that one play near the third point was a foul.”
“Hey, the ref’s call is law,” Nya smirked. “Stop trying to cheat your way to victory, Kai.”
“I’m not cheating! Zane’s girlfriend is on your team! He’s obviously biased!”
“I’m a nindriod, Kai. I cannot be biased.”
“Stop being a sore loser, Kai.” Behind her, a wave swelled up. She raised her hand- then pointed it forward at Kai.
Her brother shrieked as the seawater drenched him.
“Nya! What’d you do that for?”
“You deserved it, with all the whining you were doing. Besides, you looked hot. I was just doing you a favor.”
“It’s alright,” Lloyd laughed. “You can share my towel, don’t worry.” As he handed Kai the towel, the fire ninja eyed it shrewdly.
“It’s got ducks on it. Of course it does.”
“Hey, you want the towel or not?”
“No, I’m taking the towel.” Kai wrapped the towel around himself, shivering, unfurling the ducks for all to see. Cole snickered, and Kai shot him a glare.
“Should we pack up, then?”
Zane nodded. “If we want to be back in time for dinner, probably.”
The team trudged back to their blanket, wet and sandy, but chatting amiably. They had nearly packed up all their things when Lloyd cried out suddenly.
“Where’s my wallet?”
Zane frowned. “Didn’t you put it in the valuables pouch?”
“I thought I did, but…” he paused. “Oh, wait. I tripped over Jay. I must’ve forgotten to put it in after that.”
“Well, then, it’s gotta be around here somewhere. What color is it, Lloyd?”
“What do you think? Green.”
They spent a good ten minutes searching through their entire bag and the surrounding sand, to no avail. It quickly became clear that if Lloyd’s wallet had ever fallen around here in the first place, it wasn’t here now.
Kai shrugged. “Oh well. It’s not that big of a deal. You don’t have any cards, and I don’t think you were carrying any of the cash. We can get you a new one.”
“No, but I had the things in there!”
Cole frowned. “The things?”
“You know.” Lloyd lowered his voice. “The things. That the mayor gave us?”
“What?!” Jay yelped. “Those were in there?” “You lost them?” Kai cried. “Lloyd, how could you?”
“It’s not like I did it on purpose!” Kai groaned, rubbing his face. “We should’ve never trusted you with them. Or at least split them up, so they weren’t all together.”
“I still do not understand.” Pixal frowned. “What are these things that are so important?”
“They’re a top-secret gift from the mayor,” Jay whispered. “We’re not supposed to tell anyone we have them. Not that telling anyone now would matter anyway, because we don’t have them anymore.”
“It’s not my fault!” Lloyd insisted. “It’s that stupid seagull’s, he’s the one who distracted me-” Lloyd paused, his eyes widening. “That’s it! The seagull must’ve swiped my wallet when it was chasing me!”
“Looks like we have a lead,” Kai growled.
“Wait a minute, does anyone else hear that mysterious music-”
“Oh no,” Pixal muttered, putting a hand on her forehead. “Zane, please don’t tell me you’re going to do this again.”
“It seemed that, after only a few weeks, it was time for me to crack yet another case.” The odd, deep voice rang out, and they turned to see Zane slipping on a fedora.
“Where did that even come from,” Pixal despaired. “I’m positive you didn’t bring that with you. Positive.”
“Again, I was to be accompanied by my trusty assistant, but this time, my highly trained ninja associates would also be coming along, all determined to reclaim what someone had stolen in the heist.”
Jay glanced between Pixal and Zane. “What is happening right now? Am I supposed to know what’s happening?”
Pixal shook her head. “It’s a long story. Just go with it.”
Zane tipped his hat down. “Already, we were off with a very promising lead. I suspected the culprit to be the feathered fiend that had been spotted lurking around at the scene of the crime only an hour prior.”
Kai snorted, placing a hand on Jay’s shoulder. “Oh, this is gold! Did you mess with his voice again, Jay?”
“No, I didn’t touch him! Pixal, you didn’t…”
She shook her head. “Believe me, I wouldn’t do this if you paid me. It was all him.”
Jay grinned. “What do we do next… detective Zane?” He and Kai simultaneously burst into laughter, leaning against each other for support.
Zane side-eyed them. “The primary suspect was as clear as a black bear in a snowstorm, yet the whereabouts of the creature were still unknown. It had vanished into thin air, without leaving so much as a trace in its stead.”
“Hey,” Lloyd said suddenly, leaning down to pick something up off of the sand, “What about this?”
“It appeared to be part of the plumage of a species of avian native to these shores. Could it belong to the specimen we were looking for?”
Kai plucked the feather from Lloyd’s fingers, examining it. “The feather was white with a dark tip, definitely having originated from a seagull- although the spiked, disturbed edges implied that this was from no ordinary gull- it was from one who had recently been in a fight.”
Jay grinned. “It seemed like we had hit the jackpot. Already, we were one step closer to tracking down this culprit.”
Pixal groaned. “Don’t you two start, too. It was bad enough with just Zane.”
Nya grimaced. “Yeah, this is already getting annoying.”
“How is a feather going to tell us where the seagull is now?” Cole asked.
“I could sense the wind was blowing in from the northwest,” Zane narrated. “If we wanted to find the culprit of the caper, we would have to walk upwind, hopefully leading us to the source of the feather.”
“Alright,” Pixal sighed, “let’s get this over with.”
“And so,” Zane grinned, “The Great Gull Caper began.”
The team trudged up the beach for about twenty minutes, to no avail. They passed many other beachgoers, pointing and staring as the ninja passed, but no seagulls were in sight.
“Are you sure about this, Zane?” Pixal asked.
“The feathered suspect had gained an hour’s head start in its escape from the scene, meaning we would have to hasten our pace if we ever hoped to catch up.”
“Oh, I am not walking an hour just to find this thing. Are we sure it’s that important?”
“Yes!” the guys yelped in unison.
“It’s a very important gift from the mayor! It would be rude to lose it,” Jay said. “We have to get it back!”
“Couldn’t you just ask for another… whatever they are?”
“No! They’re one of a kind!” “Well, can we at least hurry this up? Frankly, I’m getting quite tired of Zane’s shenanigans.”
Zane grinned at her. “Although she voiced her disapproval, my assistant knew the efficiency of my methods, as they had gotten us out of a pinch the last time things had been amok.”
“First of all, I was the one who successfully found Dyer last time. You just ended up getting caught.”
“Perhaps, but you used my techniques.”
Pixal huffed. “Second, I don’t appreciate that you keep calling me your assistant. If anything, we’re partners!”
Zane adjusted his fedora. “So it was a promotion she was after, eh? Well, if my assistant could prove her worth by properly complying with my techniques in this case, she may find herself with a loftier position in the future.”
Pixal sighed. “Whatever. Let’s just find the stupid bird, and go.”
The group trekked after Zane again, and Pixal wondered how long they would be here, when Zane suddenly stopped, causing half of the gang to crash into him.
“What?” Jay yelped. “What’s wrong? Why’d we stop?”
Zane pointed near his feet. “It seemed like the culprit had been careless enough to leave behind tracks in the sand.”
Pixal peered over his shoulder. Sure enough, the tracks of some avian species left a trail in the sand- and after consulting her database, it appeared to match the foot of a seagull.
“We’re getting closer!” Cole said. “It has to be around here somewhere.”
Nya’s eyes went wide, and she pointed towards something in the distance. “Look!”
Down the beach, a large group of seagulls was flocking around a half-eaten pretzel, flapping their wings and squawking as they tried to push past each other.
“It could be any of them,” Lloyd despaired. “How are we going to know which one was the one who stole my wallet?”
Jay smirked. “There’s only one way to find out.”
Lloyd eyed him nervously. “How?”
“One seagull, in particular, has come to associate you with food. One seagull has been known to chase you down.”
“Oh,” Lloyd paled, taking a step back and waving his hands. “Oh, no, I do not like where this is heading…”
“Come on, Lloyd, do it for the team,” Cole pleaded.
“You are the one who lost them in the first place,” Kai agreed. “It’s only fair.”
Lloyd groaned. “Why do I let you bully me into these things?”
“Go on,” Nya gave him a gentle shove. “We don’t have all day!”
Sticking his tongue out at her, Lloyd stepped forward, towards the seagulls. Several of them looked his way, a few flapping their wings anxiously and squawking in warning. Lloyd stopped, swallowing.
“Um. Hey. I don’t suppose any of you have seen a green wallet around here?”
Jay rolled his eyes. “They can’t understand you. Get closer!”
“Okay! I’m going, jeez-” he broke off with a yelp as a seagull darted in front of him, nearly tripping him as he stepped on its tail.
The seagull shrieked, and, in a flurry of feathers, the flock broke into a frenzied panic. Lloyd’s eyes widened, and he cried out, running away and frantically ducking swooping seagulls.
He darted behind Kai as a last nervy seagull hopped after him. Kai held up a fist, which burst into flame, scaring the bird off. Kai glanced back at Lloyd, amusement sparkling in his dark eyes. “You okay, bud?”
Lloyd glared. “Don’t look at me like that. These birds are vicious!”
“Look!” Pixal pointed at a gull that had remained behind. With the others out of the way, she could see the small, green wallet between its beak.
“That’s the one!” Cole cried. “After it!”
For ninja, the group was embarrassingly unstealthy as they clamored after the bird, shooting elemental powers at it and screaming as they narrowly avoided each other’s blasts, so that by the time the seagull reached the water, the beach was a mess of crystalized sand, crevices in the ground, and various burn marks from fire, lightning, and energy.
“It’s a seagull!” Nya cried. “We’ve faced giant snakes, lords of darkness, elemental masters, Oni, more criminals and gangsters than I can count, and an evil video game AI, yet we can’t catch one measly seagull? It shouldn’t be this hard, you guys!”
“It’s getting away,” Jay cried, pointing at the bird, who had finally taken flight and was heading out over the ocean.
“No!” Lloyd moaned. “Now we’re never going to get it back!”
“Not on my watch,” Nya growled, racing past them towards the docks. “Come on!” “Oh no,” Kai groaned. “Nya Smith, whatever you are thinking, stop it right now, because I’m not doing it.” “Come on, Kai,” Lloyd insisted, grabbing his wrist and yanking him along. “We have to hurry!”
They raced after Nya, who was running down the dock towards a man who was examining the boats. Kai followed them more slowly, taking careful steps.
“Sir, we need to use a boat, right away! We’ll pay for it, we promise!”
The man shook his head. “Sorry, ma’am, but these are all private boats. The only one we have is that one,” he pointed to a small, worn-looking fishing boat, “and the motor’s broken, so it’s of no use to anyone.”
“It doesn’t matter, I can take care of that. Everyone, get in!”
“W-wait,” the man stuttered, looking flustered.
“We’ll bring it right back, I promise! Now, come on, we don’t have much time!”
“No!” Kai insisted, as everyone else piled in. “Nuh-uh. No way. Not in a million years. You are not bringing me out into the middle of the ocean in a tiny, crowded boat with a busted engine!”
“You don’t need an engine when you’ve got me!” Nya raised her hand, and the water swirled under the boat, rocking it slightly. “Now, come on, we don’t have time for this!” “Y’know what.” Kai took a couple of steps back from the boat. “I’m good. I’ll stay here. You guys have fun finding the wallet. I’ll cheer you on from the beach. The dry, dry beach.”
“Nope.” Cole reached forward, grabbing him by the arm and pulling him in. “This is your gift we’re saving, too. If you want to get part of it, you’re coming with.”
“Finally!” Nya huffed. The water rippled beneath them, and suddenly, it was propelling their boat, and they were off.
“Where’s the bird?” Nya asked. “Does anyone see it?” “Over there!” Cole pointed slightly towards their left, where the seagull was gliding away with surprising speed. Getting into the boat had slowed them down, and it had gotten a large head start.
Nya gritted her teeth. “Hold on.”
“Don’t go faster!” Kai yelped from where he huddled near the middle of the boat, protectively sandwiched between Lloyd and Cole. “If you tip this boat, I will never forgive you.”
“I know what I’m doing,” Nya growled, although the boat slowed slightly as they continued.
“Our team continued to chase the thief, determined to put an end to the Great Gull Caper and put the culprit to justice. Even when our path took us across the raging waters of the ocean, with nothing but a rusty, broken old boat, and deep, swirling waters around us, filled with the dark abyss and the creatures that lurked there…”
“You mean like sharks?” Lloyd perked, peering over the edge. “Did you see any? I wanna see one!”
“Nope,” Kai yelped, pulling himself into a ball as he sat down on the floor of the boat. “Nopety nope nope nope. I’m done. I’m outta here.”
“The prospect of sharks was a dire one, but one we were willing to take. We would get that wallet back, no matter the cost- even if it meant competition from this fierce predator of the sea.”
Kai screamed into his hands. “Just end me now!”
“What Zane means to say,” Pixal said, elbowing Zane sharply, “is that sharks are actually very off-put by the taste of human flesh, and do not go after humans on purpose.”
Kai stared at her. “Oh joy, now a shark can devour my flesh by accident, what a relief.”
“Do not worry, Kai,” she told him. “There is only one estimated death by shark per year in the greater Ninjago City area.”
“Knowing my luck,” Kai grumbled, “I’ll be that one.”
“Did anyone bring their phone with?” Lloyd asked. “I wanna get a good picture when the sharks come for Kai.”
“I call dibs on his katana,” Jay exclaimed. “Y’know, the super flashy one with the flaming dragon carved into the handle?”
Lloyd wrinkled his nose at him. “Why would you want a fire dragon on your katana? You’re the lightning ninja!”
“Hey, just because my element is lightning, doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate a super dope fire design when I see one-”
“Guys,” Cole sighed, pushing his way between the two arguing boys. “No one is getting eaten. We’re perfectly safe here, on this boat.”
“Cole’s right,” Pixal agreed. “The sharks around this area are smaller, reef dwellers, and won’t come after us. They may, however, come after our seagull friend if he gets too close to the water.”
Kai made a noise in the back of his throat, and Cole scowled at her. “Thanks for the help, Pix.”
“Nya,” Jay whined, “the seagull’s getting further away! We have to go faster!”
“Don’t!” Pixal cried. “This boat has not been manufactured to withstand a lot of weight. With seven people, especially when two of them are titanium, going too fast would be sure to capsize us.”
“I told you I should’ve stayed behind on the shore,” Kai wailed.
Lloyd leaned further over the edge, raising a hand to his forehead to keep the glare off of his face as he peered intently into the water. “Is… is that a shark?”
Kai stared at him. “Shut up. You’re just baiting.”
Lloyd shook his head, his eyes lighting up in a way that was not reassuring in the slightest. “I’m not! It’s a shark! It’s a real, live shark! I’ve never seen one this close before! Except at like, an aquarium!”
Kai closed his eyes, rocking himself gently. “You’re lying. You stupid liar, I hate you.”
Cole peered over, following Lloyd’s gaze, and promptly bit his lip. “You have got to be kidding me.”
“This is a dumb prank, you guys!” Kai was half-yelling by this point.
“Stop being so loud,” Lloyd hissed. “You’ll scare it!”
Kai blinked at him. “I’ll scare it?”
Lloyd crossed his arms. “A scared shark is an aggressive shark.”
Kai’s mouth snapped shut.
“I can’t believe this,” Cole muttered. “Did we really not bring any weapons?”
“No!” Lloyd yelped. “Cole, you wouldn’t!”
“I would if it kept us from being eaten.”
“For the last time, sharks don’t eat humans!”
Cole ignored him. “Well? Did we?”
Nya snorted. “Why would we bring weapons to the beach?”
“Hey, with how often this city gets attacked, I wouldn’t be surprised.”
Nya rolled her eyes. “It was supposed to be our day off.”
“It’s fine,” Pixal reported, keeping a careful eye on the shark. “It’s swimming away now. As long as we leave it alone, we’re safe.”
Kai frowned. “Looks like the gull isn’t so convinced, though.”
Pixal glanced up. Sure enough, the seagull was eyeing the shark nervously, pumping its wings as it flew higher and higher above the surface of the water.
“Do something!” Jay shrieked. “If we don’t stop it now, it’s going to get away for good!”
“Lloyd!” Nya cried. “Is your wallet waterproof?”
“What?”
“Just answer the question!” “Yes! Yes, it is!”
Nya gritted her teeth. “Hold on, everyone!”
Suddenly, a vast wave rose out of the water, looming over the seagull.
Kai’s eyes widened. “Nya, be careful, you’ll hit us too-”
But it was already too late, the wave crashing down, downing the seagull, and soaking them in saltwater. The team cried out, and Kai screamed, throwing his arms over his head in a futile attempt to protect himself. As they all tried to lurch away from the spray, the boat rocked precariously, and, for a horrifying moment, they were suspended there, on the point between balance and capsize.
And then that moment was over, and they were all falling into the ocean.
Pixal’s world immediately dimmed as she plunged into the water, quietness enveloping her like a blanket. For a moment, she was too shocked to do anything, until a foot thrashed past her face, snapping her out of her trance as she swam towards the surface.
A couple of feet before she reached it, a metal hand snatched her wrist and pulled her the rest of the way up.
“Pixal!” Zane cried, his detective voice dropped. “Are you alright?”
“I’m fine. What about everyone else? Are we all here?”
Zane nodded his head behind her, and she turned to see the others all within a couple of feet. Cole had his hands on the now upside-down boat, trying to use his strength to push it over, but it was hard for him to get a good grip and stay afloat at the same time. Just behind him, Jay was spitting out a mouthful of seawater, sending ripples across the surface of the ocean as he treaded water. Lloyd was doing the same a couple of feet away, only the green ninja was struggling a lot more because of the arms wrapped tightly around his neck.
“Don’t let me go, Lloyd!” Kai yelped, although the feat would’ve been impossible even if Lloyd had wanted to- the fire ninja was clinging to him like a barnacle. “I can’t swim!”
Lloyd sighed. “I know that, Kai. It’s the only reason I’m letting you hold on to me like this.”
“I can’t believe this happened,” Kai cried. “We’re going to die out here. This is the worst day off ever.”
“Hey!” Lloyd snapped. “It’s not my fault this happened!”
Nya shot them all a sharp glare from where she was drifting alongside the boat. She didn’t even bother to tread water like the rest of them, instead using her powers to keep herself afloat. “It was going to work until you guys made such a big fuss about getting a little wet and tipped the boat.”
Cole sighed. “We’re not going to die. As soon as I get this right side up again, we’ll climb up and get out of here. Can you give me a hand, Zane?”
As the nindriod moved to help him, Kai suddenly went rigid.
“Lloyd,” he whispered.
“What, Kai?”
“Something just bumped my foot.”
“It’s probably just seaweed, Kai,” Lloyd sighed, looking down- and promptly froze.
“No one. Move.”
Jay squeezed his eyes shut. “Oh no, oh gosh, don’t tell me that’s what I think it is, this is not happening-”
“Jay, shut up,” Nya whispered, her face pale as she watched the dark shape lurking below them in the water.
“Everyone, stay calm,” Pixal murmured. “Don’t make any sudden movements and try to look it in the eyes.”
“Please, the last thing I’m gonna do is look at it,” Kai breathed, burying his face in Lloyd’s hair.
After a moment, the shark slowly swam past, losing interest.
“It doesn’t care about us,” Zane realized. “It wants the seagull.”
Several yards away, the gull was floating on the water, still trying to shake off the moisture from Nya’s wave. Suddenly realizing the danger it was in, the bird raised its wings- and launched itself into the air, just as fierce jaws snapped against empty air where the seagull had been less than a second ago.
Kai’s fingers dug tighter into Lloyd’s shoulders, and Pixal caught Jay biting his lip as he swallowed back a scream, but, its prey lost, the shark was already swimming away.
“Gotcha,” Nya murmured, reaching a hand out and snatching up the wallet, which the seagull had dropped in all the commotion, before it could sink to the bottom of the ocean.
“Okay. That’s great. We got it. Now can we get out of here?” Kai pleaded.
After a minute, they finally got the boat flipped over, and Cole hauled himself aboard before helping to lift the others. Ten minutes later, they were all safely out of the water and on their way back to the dock, and Pixal had never felt more relieved by the fact.
“So,” Jay asked, as the boat glided through the water, leaning closer to Nya. “Did they survive all that?”
“Let’s see,” Nya murmured, opening up Lloyd’s wallet. Pixal leaned forward, anxious to see what all the fuss had been about.
“Yes!” Jay cried, pulling out seven slips of paper. “They’re all here!”
“Wait.” Pixal snatched one from his hand, quickly scanning it. “A summer pass for free all-you-can-eat ice cream from the Dairy Dragon?”
“Yup,” Jay smiled, passing them out to the others. “The mayor gave them to us as a gift after we saved the city from Prime Empire. That’s what we were going to do today, after the beach, actually.”
“You’re telling me,” Pixal deadpanned. “That we just risked our lives. For free ice cream.”
“Free ice cream is free ice cream, Pix.”
“You’ll understand once you’ve tried their butter pecan,” Nya told her. “It’s to die for.”
“Butter pecan?” Jay spluttered. “No way, the Ninjapolitan is best.”
“You heathen, chocolate fudge is obviously the best flavor-”
“What are you guys talking about, mint chocolate chip is superior!”
“You just like it because it’s green.”
“Do not!”
“Do so!” Nya sighed, putting her head in her hands. “Here we go again.”
“Calm down, all of you,” Pixal said. “You can get whatever flavor of ice cream you want. Just do me a favor and try not to end up capsizing us in the middle of the ocean this time.”
Jay hummed. “No promises.”
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DinoFic chapter 2: Earl’s nostalgia
Earl is a cute baby chicken
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At four o'clock in the morning, as Earl expected, the alarm went off. It was an old model, a gray plastic clock radio with big buttons, made for small to medium-sized dinosaurs like him. Earl wasn't going to get a new one any time soon, because the sizes had changed over the years, and the frets too small for his very long maniraptoran hands - or gripping, raptorial hands, as the name implied. Earl one’s were big, his three fingers very long, almost ridiculously so, and covered with short dark black and orange feathers.
With a slap, precise and coordinated over the years, he hit the right button to turn off that abomination of a song that had started from the clock radio.
Earl struggled up from his nest, circular and comfy with padded raised edges but perhaps a little small for him, stretching the tail he had accidentally slept on and was now all stiff and tingling. He had slept terribly, and barely, to be honest.
Yes, he was also a crepuscular being and much preferred to live the cool and windy night than the hot and suffocating day, but it had already happened that he had, on the contrary, slept with the moon and worked with the sun high in the sky.
But now it wasn't a question of working to indulge in some dangerous whim in a dark alley in Djadochta. Earl had cleaned himself up. He didn't lead that life anymore. He no longer injected that crap between the now missing feathers of his inner arm.
No, Earl was a new dinosaur, he did a decent job- he checked reservations and appointments at Steven’s clinic, his childhood friend and employer and psychologist. Earl was sort of a computer genius, his long fingers were useful for typing quickly on the keyboard, not just for turning off old clock radios, and he had a good memory and a fast mind, even if taking decisions were not his strongest trait- at all.
Earl yawned, still tired from having a restless sleep that night. The month that had passed since Lloyd had proposed (but more imposed) to accompany him to Hell Creek had passed with Earl doing continuous overtime at work, working all night and even all day at Steven's computer, and Steven, who was a kind halszkaraptor,always ready to help others and especially Earl, he had even agreed to raise his salary for that month.
Earl barely pulled back the dark curtains of the long thin window in his bedroom, revealing a fiery red sky, and a shy white dot just above the buildings on the horizon, surrounded by a pale lilac halo. He thought that the sun - when it was not a boiling ball of fire in the sky - was beautiful, and that nature was trying to give him a positive impression of the day, compared to the night. There were no such beauties in the dark and bleak night sky!
This brought a smile to Earl's beak, and he decided to wash up, then have a quick breakfast and ask Steven or Morgan, Steven's twin brother and currently unemployed -and apparently unwilling to find a job- to take him to the airport in their new car. Earl had no car or driver's license, both of which frightened him too much. He hated exams and hated driving, the feeling of wielding a deadly tincan that could destroy lives at every slightest mistake, made his feathers stand on the back of his neck with horror.
Shaking off these ugly thoughts brought by the anxiety of having to make an intercontinental flight of several hours aboard an even bigger metal box, of flying over an entire ocean without having any chance to change his fate in case something happened something unexpected, Earl took off his nightgown, struggling to pull it off from the very long thin neck, and being careful not to snag the collar neither in his crest nor in his beak, both orange like his hands and feet and the skin under the black feathers.
He entered the square box that was his shower, perhaps a bit small for a two and a half meter long and two meters tall theropod like him, closed the glass around that cubicle and turned on the shower above his head, which emitted the usual intermittent jet hot of water, uneven due to the somewhat old pipes. Earl puffed all his feathers and started shaking off the water, spraying the puffy feathers separated from each other with the liquid bath spray that all feathered dinosaurs use, because it was virtually impossible to clean up properly with solid soaps, or with bottled liquids like the lucky ones covered in scales did.
After a final shrug of feathers, Earl got out of the shower, heading into the kitchen with his paws still soaked in water. The floor was cold and slippery under his paws, but it was spotless - Earl hated dirt. He reminded him of a past he totally wanted to forget about passing out in dark and dirty alleys.
Earl felt his stomach upside down -the thought of the change, of the plane trip, of seeing his brother again after so many years, of having to get away from Djadoctha- but he decided to eat something anyway. He didn't feel like throwing up on a plane, and making that trip sure was going to be even worse hell. He perched on the stool at the dining table and smeared quince marmalade on a millet toast, biting it with his strong, big beak, sharp enough not to shatter the toast into a thousand pieces with a bite. He didn't feel like cleaning now that he had to leave.
He checked the cellphone he had left to recharge on the counter in the kitchen that night, a bit small for a dinosaur of his size and kind of old but functional, and read the pending messages his brother Brendan had left him that night.
"Okay, at three in the afternoon I'll be at the airport." a message said.
"I missed you, I can't wait to see you. May the Basalt Goddess protect you." Instead he recited the other, which Earl read more slowly, and reread a couple of times.
Earl had missed his brother too, all those years. Brendan didn't know about the substance problems Earl had had in those years, or maybe he had guessed something, who knows. Brendan had always been a receptive and alert type, who understood too many things for his own good- for him and his peace of mind always scarrede.
Who knows if he would have made him worry his brother. Who knows if Brendan would still be happy to meet Earl, if he knew what the citipati had been up to in those years.
Earl sighed, putting his phone down after checking the watch on the wall. Half past four, time to get ready, because his plane would leave at quarter past five in the morning.
After putting on his usual tight leather jacket full of studs, leather pants always so tight that the tail barely managed to get out of the hole on the back, a scarf (always black) to protect the too long neck from the weather that he was afraid to find in Hell Creek and a (black) hat behind the crest on his beak, Earl gazed between his long clawed fingers at the new boots he had bought just the day before. His brother and Lloyd and Steven had advised him to buy a pair of shoes for Hell Creek, its roads often wet and cold, covered with more or less bumpy asphalt, and there was no soft sand blown by the desert wind to cover the hard road surface.
He slipped them on quickly, fingers trembling as he did so. He was so scared… he squinted, prayed to the Basalt Goddess for that trip to go well. He was not a particularly religious type -no divinity had helped him in the worst moments of his life- but now he would have clung to everything to feel less bad.
Lifted the gym bag where he left it the night before, next to the entrance door of his apartment, in which he had put all the stuff he needed for that almost month of travel - at the thought that everything that was worth to him could fit in one single bag, Earl became a bit sadder for his situation, his pathetic life.
He checked several times that everything in his tiny, pathetic apartment was off and not in danger and walked out of it, a feeling of a bite in the mouth of his stomach and a desire to curl into a corner and abandon this crazy idea of ​​an adventure in the distant Laramidia, separated from Asia by a vast ocean over which he was supposed to fly.
In the hall, however, two small figures were waiting for him.
"So, are you ready?" asked one of the two nearly identical halszkaraptors. They were Steven, his employer, and Morgan, his twin brother. They were both half the size of Lloyd, more or less- but still more than twice the size of Professor Arthur. Small semi-aquatic dromeosaurids, Steven - with black feathers and shorter and fluffier than his brother and his big blue eyes - was kinder, loving and always willing to help, and in fact he was a psychologist. The older twin- or so he thought himself, Morgan, had long blond feathers and sharper blue eyes and a look as merciless as his personality. They had both been classmates of Brendan, Earl's older brother, and were now his neighbors. The twins rarely separated - where there was one, there was almost certainly the other too. Morgan was perhaps the most independent, but always oppressive on poor Steven's shoulders - and, in a way, Earl's too.
Steven greeted them both, smiling softly at Earl with his many tiny, dreadful teeth. "Good luck! And get some souvenirs, so then we can put them in the studio! Oh, and say hello to Bren, please! " Steven chirped, almost happier and more excited about Earl's trip than Earl himself.
Morgan twisted the small cigarette in his webbed fingers, staring at Earl with that usual stalactite-like stare, cold and hanging right on the citipati's neck, ready to fall and pierce it. “Steven works now, I'll take you to the airport. Hell Creek is a distant and dangerous place, are you sure you want to go there alone?"
"I'm not alone, there's Lloyd with me..." Earl peeped, tightly clutching the shoulder strap of the bag. A claw of his got stuck in the fabric of the shoulder strap, fraying it a little.
"Ah, Lloyd, sure, you can trust him." growled Morgan, with a grimace of anger that had formed on his beautiful face, the very shiny golden feathers that had risen around his neck. "If I could, I would come too. To say hello to Brendan and to protect you. And protect Brendan too. He has always been so sweet and naive, always ready to help others..."
Morgan looked up at Earl, at least a meter taller than him. “…Well, you two brothers look alike, from this point of view. Except that Brendan is brave, you are not so much."
Unfortunately, Morgan didn’t mince words, and Earl had made a callus on his rude way of speaking, but he assumed that talking to dromaeosaurids was like that. And male dromaeosaurs were renowned for being calmer and kinder than females, matriarchs of families and those who, yes, lay eggs but left them to hatch to males. All the maniraptorans did this, as Earl and his brother Brendan were also raised by their kind father with dark feathers and sweet eyes.
Morgan reached out with his short arm towards the door handle of his car, not luxury but big enough for a small dinosaur like him - which was barely a meter tall. A car big enough for Earl to be able to slip into the passenger seat, crushing his neck against his chest and his elbows tight against his body.
"Everything’s good?" Morgan asked, a cushion under his ass so he could see out the windshield, even though the theropod cars barely had what could be called a seat. Morgan didn't like being small. His personality was bigger than any sauropod. Earl chirped in affirmation, grateful to the halszkaraptor for chauffeuring him to Barun Goyot airport, as Earl had no driver's license or car.
“Not just for the car. I mean... with everything, yeah. " Morgan continued, starting the car. Its long, thin clawed paws pressed hard on the pedals, the small claw on the first toe producing a nervous clicking every time he braked and accelerated. "With the plane, with seeing Brendan again after.. after all that has happened, with leaving Djadochta..."
Earl smiled at him as the halszkaraptor turned for a moment to look him in the eye. "Wasn’t Steven the psychologist of the two twins?"
Morgan laughed aloud, his voice melodious and clear. Morgan was considered particularly attractive for the maniraptoran standards - where feminine traits such as light colored feathers and sharp claws were considered highly sought after physical traits. And, of course, Earl didn't even have one of them
Earl hadn't given Morgan any answer yet, and he knew he was demanding one. He sighed. "I'm afraid. Yes I am. But I want to do it. "
"And you are right.” chirped Morgan, a sincere -and strangely unaggressive- smile on his face.
Djadochta's streets were wide, one-way and multiple lanes by car size, and as usual the small and medium-sized car lane was the busiest. The temptation to pass in the car lane of megatheropods or sauropods was great, but the fear of being crushed by the enormous wheels of their cars was even more. Better stuck in traffic than crushed under dozens and dozens of tons of cars and giant dinosaurs.
Morgan stopped the car in the parking lot behind the airport, where the roar of the engines of the departing planes almost drowned out their voices. Earl craned his neck out of the window, watching with childish curiosity a large airplane pass right above Morgan's car, many meters above them.
Earl re-entered the vehicle with his neck, looking at Morgan, who all of a sudden looked tiny, fragile, a chick with golden feathers and blue eyes full of apprehension.
“I don't believe in God, but… Sometimes, it's a comfort. A bond." he said, stretching a pendant of dark, black, heavy stone between Earl's big claws. It was a votive object of the main deity of Asia, the Black Goddess of Basalt, who was said to have destroyed the world in an ocean of lava to reconstruct it purer. In Hell Creek, as in all of Laramidia and also Appalachia and Hudsonia (the three westernmost continents), from what Brendan had said every now and then, they did not believe in the Basalt Goddess but in a luminous God who descended from heaven. A distant place with a foreign and unknown god.
"Remember that, here, we will miss you." Morgan told him, reaching out to smack him a kiss between the puffed black feathers on Earl's face, who didn't know what to say - the words got stuck and lost in the sinuous curves of his long neck before reaching his confused, frightened and embarrassed brain.
Morgan's reassuring tone sprouted a seed of hope in Earl's heart, under all those layers of metal band t-shirts and steel chains and the studded leather jacket. He gripped the pendant of cold black stone in his fingers.
He hadn't left yet, and he was already missing home.
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Michael After Midnight - The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water
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SpongeBob SquarePants is one of the best and most influential comedy cartoons ever, filled with great jokes, lovable characters, and just a really silly, quirky sense of fun. In 2004, our little spongy friend got his own feature-length film… and it kicked ass! It may be the best cartoon-to-film adaptation ever made, and features everything from an epic Goofy Goober rock song to David goddamn Hassellhoff shooting SpongeBob and Patrick to Bikini Bottom with his mighty pecs. It’s a work of comedic genius.
...But then the show started going downhill. Stephen Hillenburg left, and the show started losing a bit of the charm. Season 4 was alright, but after that most fans agree it was a really mixed bag. Not to say that there weren’t any episodes that could stand up there with the classics - “Sing a Song of Patrick,” “Not Normal,” “Sand Castles in the Sand,” and “It’s a SpongeBob Christmas!” come to mind, among many others – but the bad stuff got so bad and the boring stuff got so boring that people started to get tired of SpongeBob. Characters had their worst traits cranked to 11 in some of the worst flanderization ever seen, leading to infamous episodes like “One Coarse Meal” or “Pet Sitter Pat,” and overall things just didn’t feel as good as often. I mean, the first three seasons had duds, but there were a hell of a lot of duds after the movie, or at least duds that were so bad they stuck out.
Then, in 2015, a miracle happened: SpongeBob got a second movie, and not only that, but Hillenburg came back. Expectations were high, even with all the CGI shown in the trailers, so how did it turn out?
Pretty damn well, actually.
The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water is an absolute breath of fresh air, a delightful and fun experience that fits right in among the funniest stuff SpongeBob has produced. As the first movie marked the point where SpongeBob started to get a bit less fun, this movie – if word of the newer seasons is any indication – is where a u-turn was done and we started heading right back to FUN again.
And you can’t have FUN without fire to burn down the whole town, uranium bombs, and no survivors, w- Oh, wait, no, that isn’t right. To have fun you need an actual story to carry the jokes, so here’s the story for this film: SpongeBob is having the typical day working at the Krusty Krab, selling Krabby Patties and whatnot when, as is the norm, Plankton attacks. In the ensuing scuffle, SpongeBob and Plankton fight over the formula… which magically disappears out of their hands. Mr. Krabs and the rest of the town are about to persecute Plankton for this, as now there can be no more Krabby Patties because Krabs won’t allow his employees to memorize the secret formula. SpongeBob, realizing Plankton is not at fault for once, escapes with him, and the two team up to concoct a plan to find the formula and end the post-apocalyptic Mad Max wasteland Bikini Bottom has become without Krabby patties. Can they succeed?
The most notable thing here is that the characters are basically all back to their personalities from the first three seasons and first movie. SpongeBob’s voice has been toned down and he genuinely has his heart in the right place the whole time, meaning it’s easy to see him as a lovably doofy hero; Patrick’s idiocy seems far less malevolent and rooted in something that somewhat makes sense here, making him more entertaining; and Mr. Krabs is cheap and greedy, but he still steps up to the plate to help out and while he does have some dickish moments, again, they are rooted in something that actually makes a little sense and not just malevolence for the sake of it. This sequel also fixes an issue with the first one: Sandy and Squidward’s lack of screentime. The two had minimal roles in the first film, but here, they actually play a major part in the finale. It’s nice to see all the main characters get in on the action, and boy is there a lot more action in this movie! The final twenty minutes is basically a homage to modern superhero films, and it is as delightfully goofy as you can imagine
Speaking of that, those final twenty minutes made up a brunt of the advertising, which is odd, seeing as the CGI bits are really only a small chunk of the film; most of the film is traditionally animated, and thank goodness for that; it’s so nice to see a good traditionally animated film in this day and age. Be it the 2D or CGI animation though, the movie looks absolutely gorgeous, something most evident in the wonderfully trippy time travel sequences and in the new character Bubbles the dolphin, a parody of Uatu the Watcher animated with stop motion and voiced by Matt Berry, who you may recognize as George the volcano from the Volvic commercials (Bubbles is a highlight of the film, by the by).
There’s not much else to say here, really; I can tell you the film is wicked funny, but I can’t really explain the jokes because if you haven’t seen the film it diminishes their impact. Let me just say, though, that this movie feels like it would fit right in with the comedy stylings of earlier episodes, with plenty of witty humor, silly sight gags, crazy faces, and more. The ONLY thing I took a bit of an issue with is the seagulls and their poop jokes, but even then there wasn’t TOO much of that. And while not really bad, the movie’s ending being interrupted by a, no joke, Epic Rap Battles of History rap battle between Bubbles and the seagulls, was really fucking weird even by the standards of this movie and the show it’s based on. Nice to see Peter and Lloyd getting work in a big movie like this though (they even cameo in the climax)!
This movie surprised me with how good it is. I don’t think it’s as good as the first film, but it has plenty of merits, plenty of laughs, and plenty of memorable scenes, making it a damn good movie in its own right. This movie is a breath of fresh air for animated films, and if nothing else, it helps me sleep a bit easier at night knowing Nickelodeon seems to be finally pulling itself out of the rut and setting right what once went wrong. The fact that two years after this film comes out they’ve get new critically acclaimed shows like The Loud House, the long-awaited conclusion to Hey Arnold! coming out, a Rocko’s Modern Life and Invader Zim movie on the way, and all sorts of other plans for their older cartoons… Nickelodeon is back on track. Leave it to SpongeBob to save Nickelodeon.
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