Hi Julia! I'll be starting graduate school soon, and I'm going to do the research for my master thesis under supervision of a scientist that is quite experienced in his field, so I want to make the most of the it. Any tips or advice? I'm kind of introverted and this kind of interaction just doesn't come naturally to me. Thanks! Have a nice day

hello hello!

congrats on starting grad school!

I’m an introvert myself so i totally understand what you mean! and i just wanna say that being an introvert--in any setting--is not a detrimental thing. we have a lot to offer to the world by being who we are!

so here are my tips for making the most out of your mentor interactions:

You can choose to adopt a different persona for interactions with your mentor, aka “fake it till you make it” or, even better “fake it till you become it”. For example, introvert!Julia isn’t fond of making phone calls (aren’t we all haha), but gradstudent!Julia will make all the phone calls she needs to find out details about a reagent because her experiment depends on it. Basically, gradstudent!Julia has no time to be shy, because she’s gotta do what she’s gotta do! So pull out your inner Superman to your shier Clark Kent and do what you have to do to save the world and succeed in grad school and in your career. You may find, as I did, that you’ll slowly feel more comfortable in social situations, and things will become more natural as you practice more and more. 

Start by just being polite. I find that’s the most minimal interaction I can have with someone that still comes off as positive. Greet them when you see them with a “hello how are you?”, listen intently when they’re talking, thank them for taking the time to show you stuff, etc. I don’t need to be my mentor’s best friend; I just need to be courteous and willing to learn. 

Ask questions. This is where your grad student persona could take over. Don’t understand something, even if it’s an acronym? Ask! I promise you that you won’t be bothering them. Mentors are there to teach, and honestly there’s nothing more exciting to scientists than to be asked something they’re an expert in :) Plus, asking questions will show that you’re invested in the research/field and willing to learn, which are good impressions to have. Additionally, this is the best way to take advantage of their years of experience. Ask for their advice on everything from experimental design to career options! That’s truly how you’ll “make the most of it”. 

Schedule regular 1-on-1 meetings. Not only is this a staple for labs, but the more private setting (ie away from the hustle and bustle of the other people in lab) may give your introverted self a more comfortable environment. Like having coffee with one friend vs going to a party, yeah? I like to have an outline of what I want to discuss before the meeting to ease any anxiety, and it has the added bonus of appearing extremely organized and on top of things!

Keep in touch once you graduate. I looooove to hear from the undergrads I’ve mentored throughout the years, even if it’s just a quick email telling me that they got into their dream med school. Add your mentor on LinkedIn and keep in contact! They’re an excellent person to write you letters of rec for future jobs, refer you to said jobs, etc. 

Lastly, take care of yourself. We introverts need our recharge time, so if things start to feel too overwhelming, take a break. Maybe walk around campus a bit, or put in headphones and organize your notes, or do data analysis from home. There’s nothing worse than burnout, and being burned out from too much social interaction is definitely a thing for us.

I hope that helps a bit, at least to get you started. And as I said, things will get easier with time and practice. You got this

#personal

I can definitively say that I have gotten an adequate amount of sleep for a change. I went out on Black Friday downtown to get my third shot of the Pfizer vaccine. Possibly just in time for David Bowie's Omikron virus or whatever is floating around. I felt more fatigued than usual so I napped a lot. I had enough leftovers from the Turkey breast I cooked to nurse myself back to health. I should have taken it out of the oven sooner. Like around 157F. But I have a digital thermometer for next time I decide to eat a five pound Turkey by myself. Ironically or not so much, I used to have issues with eating back in junior high. I was reminded of this just recently playing Magic Arena against a screen name called "IBEATANEREXIA." (It's spelled anorexia and yes, I was down to ninety pounds at one point and yes, you can check the last stream for proof.) Sort of how I stopped drinking alcohol and maybe was reminded by a service contract offer on LinkedIn for technical writing about alcohol abuse. An assignment I still have yet to see any check for and have since deemed as yet another possible catfish. For the record, it seems like I only have representatives from Xiaomi's newly formed EV division stalking my page and no real leads since. It's a great excuse to write about the things you've conquered. Debt might be another one. I know you aren't supposed to talk about that at thanksgiving dinner along with religion or politics. We obviously don't talk about the things Tim has conquered over the years either. The only thing I really register is that I have beat a virus and pandemic by getting vaccinated. It destroyed my life completely back in July of 2020. Way before I succumbed to too much alcohol, a bad diet or human rights work that gets totally ignored on my resume. People around here don't register that I've been a victim to a ton of shit. Have I conquered a lifetime of acne through dermatology and now should be ridiculed for it every time I go to pick up my medication from CVS? It happens. People around here know way too much about me historically but don't really know me in the present. They want so badly to get under my skin to remake me into something more compatible with the mediocrity here. Like a bunch of mini drill sergeants for the United States Army. Maybe so I don't make them feel bad from being so awesome. I'm sure writing about it doesn't help me. But I've always thought the narrative provides an element of context from the source. The source being me. The one everybody seems to want to teach some lesson to. To compare themselves to. Who is the bigger victim? Anorexia, Alcoholism, Reduction of Force from Covid-19, Forgotten C-List electronic musician, sexually harassed minor, and you know the list can go on. Now I'm just an Ethereum miner who writes from the cuff on a blog that nobody wants to recognize is run by a human being other than my audience. If I'm a victim of anything it's the fucking internet and the people who abuse the privacy and dignity of those who use it. And how do I deal with it? I don't fuck with any of it. Including the past that I've left behind that people want to rub salt into the wounds of years later. "You are just like us! Quit hiding your deeeeeeeemons!"

If people could read, you know? How many fucking years have I typed here. I have literally made a field manual for the algorithms that tend to the history of time and space here in the net. I don't know how you could not understand just what makes me tick. And yet, people think it's my thing to be ignored, judged, and made to feel how it feels to be a victim. Like I'm supposed to cry uncle. I don't know anything other than how to survive in this mess. And it just keeps getting messier. I am of the mentality that you can't hide from anything. It's one big catwalk when I walk out the door every morning. Autumn Winter '22 of the streetwear fashion showcase slash thunder dome brawl. People don't communicate out here unless it's a game of chicken or aesthetic sparring match. You don't have an identity unless you can fit into a group. And most people out here group up by their weaknesses and not their strengths. People have a problem with recognizing strength. It puts them in a position of weakness at times. Every time I walk out my door it's a fucking Seinfeld show with no ending. I play a role for people and have to tiptoe around pure psychosis. It's mentally draining and aggravating at the same time. The only progress it seems I have is by putting the money I have to work in the right places. All this at a time of batshit volatility and instability. Somehow I can pay my bills just the same. But I live in a shithole with cracked floors and neighbors who can't seem to understand that I may have a point in being a little tired of this "we're all in this together shit." I'm tired of explaining the obvious. And yet there's people out here that read this that are going through the same emotions if not worse. Why don't I just cry uncle? Why don't I admit the problem is me? That I can't find a way to belong to a bunch of people hiding their shame and attacking me through projection. That I can't be the punching bag for a bunch of people who can't train to fight the real enemy. I see that enemy up close and personal every day. I don't walk around with a body guard. I don't have the luxury of feeling bad when the guy on the opposite end of the train platform flicks me off and smiles. I somehow deserve all of this because I'm privileged. I've left years worth of privileged information in the form of journaled writing that explains otherwise. I face my demons every day. They are other selfish human beings on the street. I'm not the kind of person who really enjoys surrounding myself with bad shit. I'm a little angel.

You'd think in America we could respect the fact that people turn out differently because of free will. I'm sure I could have wallowed in all of this a little worse. I can't seem to get anywhere other than staking my ETH on the second layer. Nobody talks to me unless it's to hint in an eerie fashion that they already know too much about me. My old job network pretends my life is going fine and never reaches out. The people who live around me are always up in your face expecting that you'll open up. But it feels vampiric. Like they're just waiting for an in to manipulate things again. The cat situation was not normal. How many situations have I written about that are just not normal? I guess that makes me the normal one. And how much of that do I have to prove to understand that nobody wants to embellish normality? You survive all this foul shit and maintain your aura of a good person and get nothing for it. You get persecuted. You get people using it as excuse to knock you down. To manipulate weaker people to fuck with your entire public facing life until you give into your demons. Knock you out of the running. Keep you from succeeding. Bury you in obscurity and constantly haze you and joke about it. These people out here are shit for what they've done to me. This I already know. It's why I'm alone on thanksgiving cooking a five pound turkey for myself and reminiscing of when I was anorexic. I wonder if my neighbors have their ear pressed up against the wall waiting for me to relapse. To relish in how Mr. Perfect has failed. Is this how people see me out here? Do you really want me to tell you how much damage I've survived compared to you? I have been broken in ways that would kill a normal person. Why do you think I talked about Daul Kim on this blog so much? I like everyone else has been faced with depression from all this horror in life. I struggle with it just the same. I have never come so close to ending it all. And there's cases in point that keep me from doing that like an angel over my shoulder. People who succumbed to society poking at our wounds. Questioning our freedom and identities. No more of this shit I say. Fuck all you people out there bullying us in your well meaning and fucked up way. Leave people alone. Deal with your own shit. Get off my dick. Get off my friend's backs. Look yourself in the mirror and own your demons. I have nothing to forgive when it comes to my debt to this piece of shit social experiment of a country called America. I owe your culturally bassackwards country nothing. America for the record, you owe me a fucking apology. <3 Tim