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puckmanhq · 5 years

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HOW THE FUCK DID THIS HAPPEN?: part one of two

WHO: Noah Puckerman & @berrytobias ( feat. @alipucks )

WHAT: surprise hangout

WHERE: Toby and Aliyah's place

WHEN: June 28, 2019 @ 1:00 am-ish - June 28, 2019 @ 8:30 am

WHY: Puck needed to not be at home or on ihq property so he opts to surprise visit his sister at her place.

WARNINGS: excessive drinking and non descriptive nudity

ABOUT 1:00 AM ON JUNE 28, 2019

Well, shit. Puck thought as his sister walked off to her room, her middle fingers the last thing he saw before she completely disappeared. "Fucking charming." Ha, I got the last word. Less than a second later the sound of an opening door before, "Fucking dumbass." One final door close and now it was painfully quiet. Puck started bouncing his knee, looking around like he'd never seen the inside of an apartment before. See, now he was just chillin' in the room with Tobias and honestly, he'd never really hung out with him, even though he was technically family, as Joey's uncle. Guess they just didn't have the much in common. Probably should have got the fuck up and taken his tipsy ass home but he really couldn't be bothered. So instead he looked over at Toby, "Beer or tequila?" He asked as he poured himself a shot, ready to pour another.

“Fuckin’ traitor,” Tobias mumbled. How could Aliyah leave him right now? They weren’t even halfway through their movie. It’s not like it was-- Tobias checked his phone. “Shit,” he exhaled gently. “It’s later than I thought it was.” Which, if that was the case, why the hell did Aliyah let Puck inside in the first place? Tobias rubbed his eyes, still red from the makeshift hotbox in the bathroom earlier, and dismissed his own question with a shrug. Nope. Practical thought just didn’t exist when it was past midnight and you were still high as fuck. Tobias slowly turned his head towards Puck, interest finally piqued by his presence and the classical conditioning of the promise of alcohol. “Well, shit. If you’re pouring, then whatever cost the most.”

"Tequila it fucking is then." Pouring a second shot he handed it to his unlikely drunking buddy and riased his own glass. "To whatever the fuck this night's gonna be." Clinking his glass against Toby's, Puck did the classic frat boy table touch before throwing it back. Feeling the familiar burn, he chased it with a swig of beer before pouring himself another one. Already feeling the temperature rising which caused him to pull at the collar of his tank before leaning forward to place his beer on the coffee table. Looking at the screen he couldn't even remeber what they were watching. "Dude, you look high enough to hear colors right now." He said as he took off his hat, because really was it 78 degress in here? "And what the fuck is this movie?" He asked handing the younger man another shot.

With an exaggerated wince, teeth bared and all, Tobias placed the glass down. His technique was amateur, greedy even. But thankfully he didn’t have to smell and savor the damn thing. He just had to throw it back and accept that clear liquor was a foul ass invention. He drew a line with his eyes from the bottle to his empty drink, and gave Puck his best DJ Khaled impression. “Another one.” Condensation was already pooling around the base of their shot glasses, and the coasters they should have been using were sitting in a neat pile off to the side. Tobias exhaled warmly, shrugging off his signature denim jacket, before running a hand through his hair. Toby and Aliyah’s AC had been fucked for about a week now. The superintendent was taking his sweet ass time (as usual) in fixing it. Tobias hit at his sternum with a weak fist to break up the burn. “Oh, that?” He pointed at the screen. “It’s that one movie where that dude’s chest gets caved in and bites this other guy’s hands off?” Tobias started giggling. “It’s real great when you’re high,” he sang. “A classic.” Tobias’ cat, Mercutio weaved around Puck’s legs, purring happily. “He likes dudes,” Tobias spoke earnestly, before snatching up the bottle of tequila from the coffee table. “I’m pretty sure he’s gay.” He took a gulp. Or two. Or three. “It’s so fucking hot. Are you hot?” Toby handed the bottle back over to Puck. “I’m hot as hell.” He wiped at his forehead with his arm. “You can stay and roast but--” he pulled his shirt over his head “--I’m not trying to die in my own apartment.”

Raising an eyebrow at the description of the movie they'd been watching, Puck shouldn't have been surprised. Aliyah was definitely into some weird shit and somehow she was pulling that off in a cool way and honestly Puck had never been more proud of a sibling. Looking at Toby, he assessed him, trying to decide if he was cool or not. On the one hand he quoted DJ Khaled and couldn't take a shot of tequila with looking like someone was feeding him fire. On the other hand, he quoted DJ Khaled and took a shot like he was eating fire. So, unclear where he was on the Noah Puckerman dopeometer. "You and my sister really found each other." Standing up for no apparent reason just to immediately sit back down, it was definitely approaching 'fuck it' levels of intoxicated, which is where any potential impulse control peace-ed the absolute fuck out. Looking down at the cat, Puck smirked, "Don't blame 'im, I'm fucking hot. Good taste, bro." And then he tried to bro fist the cat and Puck could swear he could hear the thank god you're pretty coming from the little dude. Hearing that it wasn't just him burning the fuck up made him want to facetime his brothers just to flip them off, because fuck you guys clothes are dumb when you're drunk. Standing up, and this time with purpose, Puck pulled out his phone because obviously his magic mike ass needed music for this moment. Turning up his phone after picking Hot In Here by Nelly, he removed his tank in a very aesthetically pleasing and manly way. Alright, so what really happened was, his drunk ass picked Metro Station's Shake It and as he went to take off his tank with one hand it got stuck and ripped and he just kind of through it to the ground and then he winked like a jackass. "Gotta give 'em a show." But who the fuck was he talking to? Oh, right, the gay cat, naturally.

Tobias’ laughter slipped past his teeth and fingers. “Dude, I can totally see why you get so much play. You’re amazing,” he slurred. Tobias’ giggles died down, but the ache in his cheeks remained as the room tilted. “I can almost see why Lucky slept with you.” Toby squinted. “Where are my glasses?” He patted over his face. Sheer force of will would definitely make his vision clearer. “Do you ever think that, like, your eyes are so blue because you’re sad?” Toby cradled his head in his hands,hoping his over-saturated sponge of a brain wouldn’t leak out of his ears. Every blink was heavy, every movement slowed-down to an unbearable rate. “Fuuuuuuuuck. That weed was too strong.” Sweat slid down his back. “I have no idea how--” Tobias undid his belt ”--Aliyah is sleeping through this. I’m about to off myself.”

"Almost?” Puck said momentarily alert. “I’m the most fuckable.” As if to prove himself, he removed his pants, swearing feet weren’t usually this fucking difficult to get through a damn pant hole.Now, he was just standing there in his stripey boxer briefs vaguely gesturing at himself to accentuate his point. Honestly, at this point sounds were muffled and everything sounded kind of far away, maybe that’s why he was hyper focused on the younger man’s mouth. Not that he was secretly a master at lip reading, but when you’res drunk you’re pretty convinced you’re the master of everything. Picking up his phone again he pulled up his camera and started recording before standing stupidly close to Toby and making the camera lens face them, because there was no fucking way he was capable of remembering the invention of the fucking front facing function. Throwing his free arm around the taller man’s shoulders, he pulled him in close before tuning his face toward him. “You ever seen what happens when Ali gets serenaded?” He asked pausing for a moment letting a drunken smile creep on his face and he handed Toby his phone. “I think we oughta find out.” Honestly everything that happened next was..... something that never needs to see the light of day.

8:30 AM ON JUNE 28, 2019

Tobias whined, refusing to open his eyes. “Why are there such things as hangovers,” he spoke groggily. His cheek was stuck to warm skin, a slow heartbeat making a tender home inside his ear. He was too comfortable to move, but Mercutio’s timid cries were annoying as fuck. “And why does my mouth taste like literal ass?” Finally lifting up, Puck’s heavy arm slid from around his form. Toby’s eyes widened. “Oh no.” Suddenly launching himself into space seemed like the best out, but then he spotted Aliyah, standing smugly in front of the couch. “I… this isn’t what it looks like.” His voice was thick with sleep (and hopefully nothing else). “Pretty sure there’s a valid explanation for...” Tobias examined the crime scene. His and Puck’s clothes were strewn about the floor and the entire bottle of Tequila from last night was empty. He wiped the drool he left on Puck’s chest, nausea bubbling in the pit of his stomach. No matter what Toby said, he didn’t know what happened, and that meant there was a lingering possibility that Puck’s dick had been in or around his mouth. Or worse. “Please don’t tell anyone, Al.”

ALIYAH: Pulling a mess of curls back into a messy bun, Aliyah had been staring at the rather amusing sight of a blanket covered, naked, hardcore cuddling Puck and Toby. "Oh that's totally on what the fuck, bingo." She said to herself as she got her phone out to take about 15 different pictures. Seriously contemplating posting a couple on insta. Making a mental note to create the WTF?! bingo card for real, Aliyah watched as her best friend stirred to life. As he looked at her, she raised an eyebrow, listening to his pleas and getting way too much of a power trip out of it. "You know I don't talk to people." Grabbing her thermos of espresso she bent down to flick Puck's nose until he opened his eyes. "I'm going to work." Then she was gone.

PUCK: Smacking the hand away from his face, he slowly opened his eyes, and all he could really see was a combat boots moving further away. Shit, the IHQ pride games or whatever is today. He thought to himself, not even noticing the second body lying with him, he sat up ready to get up before he finally realized there was a whole ass person on him and out of instinct he caught them around the waist. Just like that he could feel them breathing, his sight was clearing up and soon the dark head of hair and skinny frame were starting to form a face in his mind. "Fuck." Moving Toby off of him, he stood up, some discomfort in the Puckzilla region. Looking down he noticed all the clothes strewn everywhere and the cause of his dickcomfort (if you will). "Why's there a sock on my dick?" Adjusting it he looked for his underwear. "Why the fuck is it so scratchy?"

#ihq:discord #a. discord #discord. tobias berry #p. tobias berry

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oneunicornaway · 6 years

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Hey! I was supposed to do a thing but my class got cancelled and I still have to do the thing but my sense of responsibility is tied to facing people so instead I wrote another thing, as in... a Penumbra fanfic thing. It’s like, entirely self-indulgent so it’s not really well written but I decided to get over my hang-ups about posting things so here it is anyway.

(clem if you wanna read it its spoiler free, except for the presence of one character you havent been introduced to yet <3)

Please enjoy my Ben is alive AU born from procrastination:

Ben opens the door slowly, looking blearily at him.

“Juno? Are you okay?”

Warmth and guilt surge inside of Juno, battling for dominance. He feels bad for contributing to the dark circles developing under his brother’s eyes, but he can’t help but feel incredibly grateful for the way Ben steps aside, silently inviting him.

“What time is it?” Mumbles Ben, as he puts water to boil.

“’Round two I think.” Seeing Ben so tired reminds him of the hell of a day he just had, and suddenly, he feels like he might use some sleep; or a blackout, Juno Steel isn’t choosy.

“I didn’t know you were coming by.”

It’s not sarcastic or even accusatory, because Ben is too good at not pushing on his buttons, but Juno feels guilty anyway.

“You left me a message and then didn’t respond when I called you back… I was worried.” It’s a weak-ass excuse, especially for disturbing Ben’s well-deserved sleep, and Juno knows it.

His brother doesn’t comment on it though. Just places a mug full of fuming tea of front of Juno and sits across from him.

“Sorry about that. I probably didn’t hear the com’ ringing.”

It probably makes sense that Juno would be a fuck up, considering Benzaiten got all of the qualities to be a perfect human being. That’s why Juno doesn’t complain about the beverage not being coffee and sips at his scalding hot tea.

“Juno.” Says Ben suddenly “What are those?”

“What?” Juno follows his brother’s look and notices the blood smeared on his hand. “Oh that? It’s nothing.” He’s mumbling guiltily and that, Ben doesn’t let pass.

“Like hell it’s nothing.” Ben groans and gets up. “Come on. We’re bandaging it.”

“What? No it’s okay, really.”

“My house, my rules.”

Ben’s tone is unflinching, and Juno knows he won’t win this argument, so he follows him in the bathroom. The overhead light is violent for his dark-adjusted eyes.

“Did you get into a fight? Take your shirt off too.”

“Come on, Ben, I’m fine…”

“Take. That Damn. Shirt. Off.”

Juno sighs, but doesn’t protest further and unbutton his shirt while his brother roots around his expansive first aid kit.

“Who was this time, the Kanagawas?” Ben asks as he wipes Juno’s hand with sanitizer. It stings but Juno deserves it and besides, he’s used to it.

Juno makes a non-committal sound as he watches Ben work. When he’s finishes with cleaning the cut on his hand, he examines Juno’s torso and tuts disapprovingly when he sees the collection of bruises his brother is sporting. But there’s no cuts to clean so he comes back to Juno’s hand, beginning to bandage his knuckles.

Ben is pointedly looking at his work when he asks, in a small voice.

“It wasn’t anyone from the HCPD, was it?”

Juno grimaces and looks away, even though Ben isn’t currently looking at him.

“No, it wasn’t.”

“I’m serious Juno! If it was Diamond or some of their goons…”

“It was just some dudes, okay? They wanted to mug me or something I guess.”

Ben deflates at that but tightens the bandage around Juno’s hand more strongly than is strictly necessary.

Juno sighs.

“Don’t worry about me, okay?”

Ben looks back defiantly.

“Of course I worry! You…”

He’s interrupted by the bathroom door opening.

“Hey babe, everything okay?”

Mick looks even more sleepy than Ben does. His voice is quiet and rough with sleep, and looking at him makes Juno wants to find his own bed and never leave.

“Hey Jay.” Mick mumbles, while passing a tender hand through Ben’s hair. “Got into a fight again? You okay?”

“I’m fine.” He responds, looking pointedly at Ben, who makes a face at him but doesn’t protest.

“Cool. I’m gonna set up the couch.” He plants a kiss on top of Ben’s curls and disappear.

Ben’s gaze lingers fondly after him for an instant, and it takes a bit of effort for Juno not to feel left out.

It’s not that he’s jealous of Ben, exactly. Mick is a great friend, but he’s also kind of a dumbass, and to be completely honest, much too sweet for Juno’s taste. As experience has proven many times, he prefers people that are violent and bad for him. Besides, even if he was interested in Mick, the poor bastard doesn’t deserve to be saddled with Juno’s disastrous parody of a functional human being. So Juno isn’t jealous, but he would be lying if he said he didn’t sometimes envy the relation Mick and Ben had together. And sometimes, it feels as though the trust and love they manage to share is just another proof that Juno well never manage to be as good as his brother.

Ben hands him a tube of gel.

“And this time, use it.” He’s saying. “That way, when you get into another fight, those first bruises will have healed, got it?”

What Juno mumbles could probably be interpreted as an agreement, so Ben doesn’t push. When they come back to the living room, Mick has deployed the couch so it now looks like a queen sized bed. Juno knows from experience than protesting against his brother’s hospitality won’t get him anywhere so he doesn’t comment, and picks up his cup of tea. It’s still pleasantly hot, and Juno wouldn’t know how to tell those two how much he’s grateful to have them both in his life right now.

“I should get back to sleep.” Says Ben. “I’ve got miss Swampson’s case to work over tomorrow.”

The icy grip of guilt takes hold of Juno’s belly. He knows he shouldn’t have come. He always messes…

“Juno, don’t.” Ben interrupts his train of thought with a cutting tone and a glare. “By the way, tomorrow, if you’ve got the time, I’ll need your help to track down someone in old town. Would that be okay?”

“Oh. Uh. Sure.”

“Great.” He plants a quick kiss to Mick’s cheek. “You can beat him unconscious if he refuses to go to sleep.”

“Hey!” Juno protests but it’s half-hearted at best, and Mick chuckles as Ben disappears into their bedroom.

“So…How are things?” It’s nice, imprecise, perfect for Juno to shrug off or ignore. Sometimes he forgets just how nice Mick is.

“Not worse than usual.” He responds. It’s not even a lie, it’s just that Juno’s usual sucks. Mick seems to pick up on it, too, if the grimace he makes is anything to go by.

“Any reason you were out at two in the morning? That you want to talk about?”

Juno doesn’t. It’s mostly easier to talk to Mick about those things, because, contrary to Ben, they’re both fucks up who can’t hold onto a job, but easier never means easy.

Mick sighs, but doesn’t push, and takes a sip of his drink.

“I got hired to coach a hockey little league.”

Juno squints at him.

“How?”

Mick chuckles instead of taking offense.

“One of Ben’s client: he didn’t have anyone so when he heard I needed a job he couldn’t find anything too bad with me.”

Juno snorts at that.

“They win any game yet?”

“No. But we’re having a lot of fun! I think this one’s a winner!”

Juno smiles but doesn’t say anything. If it was anyone else, he would happily believe that his friend had secured a job for a while, but with Mick there’s no telling what might happen. Sometimes Juno can’t help but wonder how his best friend is still alive.

“That’s a good thing too, cause Ben’s job is kind of crazy these days.” Mick sighs.

Juno squints.

“Please don’t tell me he hasn’t taken any free case again.”

“He didn’t!” Mick protests. “Well, just the one, and okay it took him a while, but mostly I think he feels… I don’t know.”

Mick is a terrible liar, but Juno isn’t about to call him out on it. They both know Ben loved being a cop. Loved the idea of helping people and standing up for the poor and the helpless. But Juno had had to go and ruin it. Of course, he knows it’s not entirely his fault and that the HCPD isn’t blameless and well, helps the mafia as much as it does the needy, he’s had this conversation with Ben enough time to recognize it. But it doesn’t change the fact that Ben loved the job, and that because of Juno he is now stuck doing a job he feels wholly inadequate for.

“Juno… I think he wants to ask you to help him.”

Juno snorts.

“Of course he doesn’t, I’ll just manage to fuck it up for him.”

“That’s not true!” Mick protests, even though they both know it is. “I’m sure you can help him help other people: you’re good at investigating! And… and… you’re better at him in fight and stuff!”

“I’m also better at making enemies and fucking up things he loves by bringing him all of my troubles. How do you know that won’t happen again?”

Mick deflates a bit at that.

“Juno… you know it’s not your fault…”

“Let’s not talk about that.”

Juno’s tone is dry as the Martian desert, and Mick stops arguing. He just pouts and bring his cup of tea to his face.

They let a few minutes go by, sipping tea and listening to the distant noise of the city. Mick is the one to interrupt it.

“It’s just… I’m worried about him, ya know?”

He knows. He’s worried too. Always. And the fact that Ben seems to constantly manage better than him has never changed that. But it’s just that Juno has never known how to make thing better. Somehow, everything he touches seems to turn to vinegar, so he won’t blow another thing up for his brother.

“You should go to sleep, Mick.”

Mick looks at him and sighs.

“Right.” He gets up and collects both their empty mugs, putting them in the sink. As he passes Juno, he pats his hair gently. “You should too, or you know Ben will knock you out for real.”

Juno hums, and Mick doesn’t insist. In seconds, he’s out of the room.

If you want to comment stuff or point out mistakes or ask questions (maybe?), pls feel free to send me a message or stuff.

Also for some reason I know have a lot of ideas about this AU so uh... this might become a thing

#tpp #the penumbra podcast #my writing #benzaiten steel #juno steel #mick mercury #junoverse fanfic #i feel like there should be more tag but idk what #:x #ben is alive au

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spectreblanc · 6 years

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Why Episode Ignis SUCKS!

So, here I am.

Episode Ignis is morally corrupt AND bad for the gaming industry. I'm serious. This kind of catering to the fans could seriously ruin the gaming industry if it isn't ruined already.

I wasn't originally going to say anything about what I thought of Episode Ignis, and I'm aware that this will probably earn me a steady stream of hate on this blog, but I don't care because I really hate the way Tabata just keeps vomiting out whatever he THINKS we want to see. And when said "vomit" comes in the form of some VERY disturbing themes- not only within the narrative, but in story-telling itself- that's when I just gotta say something.

None of this is fan theories or trying to figure out what's really happened or trying to fill in plot holes. It's clear both endings have plot holes. This blog is just WHAT'S WRONG WITH EPISODE IGNIS AND WHY I HATED IT. And why, in my opinion, it didn't fix anything.

I've compiled my reasons into one little...big blog. Divided into chapters for organization.

(I'm not borrowing anybody's opinions or theories, btw. I wrote this blog before I even knew anyone had similar fan reactions to mine about the alternate ending.)

The date I started writing this in One Note was Dec 14, in case anyone is interested. No? Okay.

So buckle up, and don't say I didn't warn you...

HEAVY SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

CHAPTERS:

1. IGNIS IS OUT OF CHARACTER 2. IGNIS IS A SELFISH PRICK 3. IGNIS TAKES OVER EVERONE ELSE'S ROLE 4. THE ORIGINAL STORY'S BUILD-UP AND CLIMAX IS GROSSLY OFFSET 5. WHY THE ORIGINAL STORY IS BETTER 6. COMPARING FFXV'S STORY TO OTHER GREAT EPICS 7. BAD MORAL/MESSAGE 8. THIS ENDING IS NOT CANON 9. PURE FANSERVICE 10. LINGERING QUESTIONS 11. OTHER THINGS I PERSONALLY DIDN'T LIKE 12. IN CONCLUSION

Okay, saying episode Ig sucks is kind of shameless clickbait, I admit. The episode proper was actually great and I really enjoyed it. It was compelling, exciting and answered enough questions. The alternate ending part... Not so much.

Keep in mind that most of my criticism is directed toward the Alternate Ending, and from a story-teller's vantage point, but there is a bit directed toward the main episode as well. And this is just STORY criticism. The gameplay elements of Episode Ignis and the visuals and music were great. No complaints there.

So, let's get started!

1. IGNIS IS OUT OF CHARACTER

We're all familiar with the bespectacled, level-headed, pensive advisor that is Ignis Scientia. With his cool logical methods, he is the one the bros- and most importantly Noct- rely on as their anchor. The voice of reason in the medley of chaotic situations which they often find themselves. But, watch out! Throw a magic ring and a prophetic vision into the mix, and he becomes a one-man recipeh for disaster, who's ready to literally burn the world! See what I mean:

-Ignis doesn't use any of the cool decision-making skills we've come to expect from him in the main game. He's all raw emotion and flights of fancy now.

-He's never shown signs of obsessive protectiveness over Noct before. He cares, yes, but one little vision makes him completely lose his ability to examine the situation and think clearly. This is a direct contradiction to everything we've previously learned about his personality!

-The creators of episode Ignis also based the alternate ending on the comradeship that was built up in the story parts that THEY CUT OFF. The close bonds that the bros come to forage during the later parts of the game never happen, thus making their actions (and especially IGNIS'S actions) unrealistic. Remember, all that's happened to the bros at this point is a few hours on the road trip in the regalia, they've captured a few summons, collected a few weapons... Nothing has really happened. No death, no vision loss, Ignis and the others act like the story proper has already taken place.

2. IGNIS IS A SELFISH PRICK

The alternate ending seems innocent enough. Ardyn threatens to kill Ignis, and he has little choice but to put on the ring and defend himself. But it's what Ignis says first that is highly disturbing. Ignis's words are at best emotionally compromised-- at worst, EVIL. Let's listen in on some quotes:

-"This world means nothing to me. Do with it as you wish!" (To Ardyn) (TO ARDYN!!!!)

-"A world without him isn't worth saving!" ??? What about Prompto and Gladio? What about Iris, Cindy, Cid and Aranea, you BLATHERING BOBBY-SOCK??? ...Actually they never make nice with Aranea if this happens, do they... Huh.

-"I refuse to let Noctis sacrifice himself!" Again, "I refuse to do this." "I refuse to do that." Ignis isn't thinking about what is really best for Noct and the others. He's thinking about himself and what he wants or doesn't want. Isn't that Noct's choice? Did you ask him? Ig only wants it to go HIS way. Like, Dude, just because your bud might die, you'll let the world burn? That's not your choice!

And I'm sorry, this isn't self sacrificing or beautiful. It's DANGEROUS for Ignis to be thinking this way, much less get praised for it. He's willing to throw away everything everyone has sacrificed up until that point. Regis, Luna, Nyx, EVERYBODY. Ignis didn't 'rebel against fate'. He acted selfishly without consulting any of his friends, and only by the good grace of Tabata did it work.

-Ignis doesn't believe in Noctis. Regis and Luna both believed in him, but Ignis sees one vision and freaks the hell out. He is like: "No, I will make all these decisions for Noct. I will not allow him to decide if he wants to go through with it. I'll risk burning the world down instead." Whatever happened to "Stand by Me"?

-after he learns of Noct's potential death, Ignis tries to make Noctis discontinue his journey. Even though he knows now that Noct is the only one who has the power to save the world! And just as Noct is beginning to realize how important it is! Just on the heels of Luna's death! He's only thinking that he doesn't want Noct to die because he's SELFISH.

-Ignis treads dangerously close to the same path as Ardyn in the alternate ending and it's NOT RIGHT that he can do the same thing, yet have a better result. Selfishness ALWAYS leads to harming those we wish to protect most.

-I CAN'T BELIEVE THE LUCII FOUND HIM WORTHY OF THEIR POWER WHEN HE JUST DECLARED HE WOULD LET ARDYN BURN THE WORLD DOWN! Sense made: 0%

3. IGNIS TAKES OVER EVERONE ELSE'S ROLE

Say hello to you new protagonist everybody! Ignis Scientia effectively usurps the lead position from Noctis. (And everybody else's positions too.) Watch this:

-Ignis takes over Noct's role of the game's protagonist/hero.

-Ignis takes over Gladio's role as Noct's guardian. He says something like: "I swore an oath to protect him!" No, Ignis. That's Gladio's job. You are a cook, remember? Now be a good boy and come up with a new recipeh for us.

-Ignis takes over Prompto's role as Ardyn's hostage in Gralea.

-Ardyn reveals his true identity to Ignis (a complete stranger) and Noctis never finds out??? Idk.

-Ignis takes over Ardyn’s role as the guy who’s gonna burn the world.

-Ignis takes everyone's role for himself except his own, which was to be the pensive, intelligent and dependable advisor. He totally takes leave of his brain!

4. THE ORIGINAL STORY'S BUILD-UP AND CLIMAX IS GROSSLY OFFSET

-The train ride to Gralea, Noctis coming to terms with Luna's death, finding the strength to wear the ring-- all this character development and story arcs NEVER HAPPEN! Noct just decides on the spot that he's gonna hop right into the crystal and... That's basically it. No doubts or fears or hesitation like he had in the original story. Nope, we skip all the development and cut right to the chase. The previous build-up made him a human, relatable and interesting character. It made us stand up and cheer for Noct. Now, just the sight of Ignis messed up on the ground and BOOM! Skip straight to the ending. Character development and struggles be damned! Such an immediate decision as Noct makes is not only highly unrelated to his character, but doesn't even make for a good story. I don't know how people say it does.

-Everything becomes too easy. Luna's death and Iggy's vision loss stirs up some serious turbulence that the bros have to work out before they continue their journey. All this is skipped in the alternate ending.

-Ignis's vision loss becomes just a tease.

-There's no penalty for using the ring's ultimate power to banish Ardyn for good. Noctis's survival doesn't make any sense. It's kinda easy to defy fate when there's no consequences for any of your actions, eh? Seriously, there's no consequences to putting on the ring and summoning the Knights of the Round to defeat Ardyn and restore light. This is wildly out of whack with every way the ring's magic has worked until this point. (That is: draining life force in exchange for magic.)

-Noctis doesn't die defeating Ardyn now? Just because Ig used the ring on him ten years ago, doesn't mean he's still weakened all this time later. And if it does, then we should just do this all the time. There's no good explanation for this that I've seen.

-And why would Ardyn still go through with his plan. I mean, you can't exact revenge on your own bloodline and the crystal if you're not strong enough to at least take him down with you, Ard.

-Luna and Noctis's "love story" (big fan) is stepped all over. Not that it was well written to begin with, but now her death has no effect on Noctis or anything that comes after. I guess Tabata's no good with commitment to relationships.

-Ignis trying to "change fate" is like saying every other character didn't try to figure out EVERY possible way to save Noctis. Do you think Luna wouldn't have tried to find a way to save her only friend? DO YOU THINK REGIS WOULDN'T HAVE TRIED TO FIND A WAY TO SAVE HIS OWN SON?? No, they were basically stuck-up bigots who were willing to sacrifice Noct because it was convenient. Yep. Not buying it. I mean, Ravus looked for years for another way for Luna to fulfill her calling without spending life force (even selling his own soul in the process) and couldn't do it, and suddenly Iggy just snaps his fingers and BOOM! "I've come up with a new way to fix everything!" Imma call bogus on that one.

-Now the Genesis artwork makes no sense, because Noct never had a blind companion.

-Luna's t- t-...tr...TRUE feelings for Noct are never disclosed via Gentiana/Shiva.

-Ardyn is now on the losing end for the bulk of the game. Horrible dramatization!

-The world of darkness now has reduced meaning because everyone now knows Noct is gonna be back and kick Ardyn's backside in a bit.

5. WHY THE ORIGINAL STORY IS BETTER

I say "story" and not "ending" because it's pretty obvious how much of a change there is to the story, depending on which ending you choose.

So, there's a generally accepted fan theory that Noctis never had a choice in his destiny and was basically funnelled down the path to complete it by the prophecy and/or the Astrals and/or the Knights of the Round. Not going to name any names, of course, but there's this thing that the FFXV fandom says: "Noctis never had a choice but to sacrifice himself. That he was the slave of the prophecy and the Astrals were using him." That he was a victim of circumstance. That it "wasn't fair". Like somehow the prophecy and Astrals were forcing Noct to kill himself.

I've never seen any real evidence to support this. On the contrary, no one is forcing Noctis to do this. The prophecy's not something you can rebel against. A prophecy is just a foretelling of something that is to come. It doesn't force anybody to do anything. In fact, it's only fair that Noctis know what's coming if he chooses to go through with his destiny. A last chance to turn and run from it if he so wishes. In fact, it would be unfair if he had no warning whatsoever.

The magic of the ring is what kills Noct. We know that the more magic one uses, the more life force is drained (see KG and ep Ig). Like simple Physics: what goes up must come down. He who uses the magic must sacrifice life force. That's what magic runs on. (like king Regis ages more quickly as he uses magic to keep up the new wall) It's nobody's fault. As the only one with the power to use as much magic needed to defeat Ardyn, (even the Astrals can't) Noctis has a choice to make. Surrender his life force to kill Ardyn, or give up and run. THAT is Noct's choice.

And he makes conscious decisions to sacrifice himself many times throughout the story. This is what makes our heroes and heroines worth looking up to. Putting aside their own desires and doing the best for everyone.

"I think I can do it... I won't let you down!" He tells Luna.

Still, Noctis had many chances to run. He could have turned from his responsibility and turned back. But he knew his Dad and Luna and the bros and the WORLD was counting on him. By the time he emerges from the crystal we see his resolve. He's made his decision and he'll see it through. Because only HE can. Only the chosen. By the ending campfire scene and when he takes Prompto's photo as a keepsake, it's clear he'd made his choice. And the bros RESPECT IT. They STAND BY HIM. There's none of this second-guessing stuff or making decisions for Noct.

As for being a victim of circumstance, aren't all heroes?

Ardyn, for one. Here we have an example of a man who could have been a hero, but his jealousy of his brother led him to do things that led him to hurting those he once swore to help. Noctis didn't let this responsibility drag him into the depths of despair and spite like Ardyn did.

The important thing is that Noctis makes the right choice. If he didn't, he would have ended up like poor, corrupted, jealous Ardyn.

As I said before, Ignis treads dangerously close to the same path as Ardyn in the alternate ending, and it's NOT RIGHT that he can do the same thing, yet achieve a better result. Selfishness ALWAYS leads to harming those we wish to protect most.

A direct corruption of morals.

6. COMPARING FFXV'S STORY TO OTHER GREAT EPICS

Seems like a good time to reference Lord of the Rings, since it's obvious Final Fantasy gets a lot of inspiration from there:

For example: It was never Frodo's choice to inherit Sauron's ring of power, but as the story progresses, he learns to accept his burden, because he understands that if he can't destroy it, then no one will. Even as it becomes abundantly clear that it will cost him his life. It's the doubt and fear that Frodo overcomes that makes him a true hero. He's faced with a situation no one would choose, but isn't that how all heroes are made? In the end he chooses to do what's right.

Likewise Noctis: As the chosen King of light, Noctis finds himself in a situation no one would choose. But it's how he handles it-- forces on in spite of everything -- because he knows it has to be done. And like Frodo, he finds himself the only one who has the means to do it. And he does it because it's the RIGHT thing.

And that's the ONLY kind of hero worth looking up to.

Other elements of the two stories match up too, like four protagonists set out on a journey, one with a very special mission, although they all will have to sacrifice part of themselves to see it through.

Speaking of which, let's take a look at the similarities between the theme songs:

In Dreams, by Howard Shore:

When the cold of winter comes, Starless night will cover day, In the veiling of the sun , We will walk in bitter rain, But in dreams, I can hear your name, And in dreams, We will meet again,

And now Stand by Me, by Ben E. King:

When the night has come, And the land is dark, And the moon is the only light we'll see, No, I won't be afraid, Oh, I won't be afraid, Just as long as you stand, Stand by me,

As you can see, both songs tell of the world being enveloped in darkness, but the bravery of the heroes spurs them on to complete their task with the help of their friends, because the world and all good things in the world DEPEND ON IT.

And, yes it's nice if there's an easy way out. A quick way to escape hardship and possible death. And in real life this even happens a lot, but those are the stories you never hear about because there's no sacrifice, effort and determination in them. For instance, if the Great eagles were to grab the ring of power, fly over to Mt. Doom and plop it in the lava, that wouldn't be a real story worth listening to.

Likewise, if Iggy were to put on the ring of the Lucii FOR Noctis, and defeat Ardyn halfway through the game, pretty much skipping the journey and the evolution of the characters, then that wouldn't be a good story, would it?

Why do you think you're so heart broken when Noctis finally does decide to sacrifice himself? Because, you got to know him and his friends throughout their journey. Their struggles. You felt like you were actually there through the ups and downs, observing all their actions. Taking part even. Through their hardship you learned to LOVE these characters and care about the choices they make.

That's how it should be. That's what makes every good story GREAT.

Look around. All your favourite stories follow the same pattern. It's not something we can dispense with to make ourselves feel better. It's OUR responsibility not to.

Okay, that got a lot deeper a lot faster than it had to, but you have to see, that Noct's sacrifice is in no way unfair or bogus. It's HIS choice.

7. BAD MORAL/MESSAGE

-So, the message the alternate ending portrays is basically: "Just act irrationally and irresponsibly on your own whims and desires. Without consulting your friends and the people who's decision this REALLY is. Things will come up aces ;)"

-Throw out your rational-thinking self-sacrificing heroes boys and girls, because here's one hot-head who NONE of the rules apply to!

-Heroes are made by the great deeds they do, and the obstacles they overcome. I guess heroes don't overcome their struggles anymore. They just go berserk and look for the quickest, easiest way out. And yay! They find it! What d'ya know. ;p

-The theme of Final Fantasy is not necessarily to "rebel against fate, or the powers that be". The theme of Final Fantasy has always been to overcome your obstacles, push forward and to do WHAT'S RIGHT, no matter the circumstance. No matter what the cost. Even if it's your own life. That's what's always been important about the Final Fantasy games I'VE played. That's the message I've always taken away from not only the Final Fantasy stories, but all great adventures in general. That's the true message to be learned.

8. THE ALTERNATE ENDING IS NOT CANON

-People have noted already that the ending is called "Possibilities" therefore indicating that you can take it or leave it. Like something that might have happened if Ignis had taken Ardyn up on his deal to come to Gralea.

-You can only play the alternate ending if you ALREADY played the first one, which leads one to believe that that's how the game is supposed to be played.

-You're seriously gonna make me invest in a DLC to get the "Canon" ending? (A whole year after the game came out?)

-Square Enix has even confirmed that the ending is not canon, but rather a 'possibility'.

9. PURE FANSERVICE

-Just because fans bugged hard enough for an easy way out. A blatant suck-up! At a time when fan service is butchering the industry! Calling this disaster "canon" is giving Tabata an easy way out of his responsibility. A responsibility to do it right the FIRST time, not just patch all your mistakes later. (If you can call this "patching") We paid for the GAME, not fan service.

-We all wish for that perfect ending where nobody dies and everything turns up roses, but at the cost of proper development, REAL heroic sacrifices and grievances and battle scars, I say NO.

10. LINGERING QUESTIONS AND PLOT HOLES

-So, remember that part when Noctis is lying there on the ground, and Ignis is lying there too and Ardyn offers to take Ignis to Gralea to lure Noctis to the crystal...? The key words were: Noctis is just lying there... Yep.

-What's up with those visions? Luna sending them? There's no way she would send those to him, because why? He's a random stranger who will just freak out and burn down the world if he sees them. It seems only to set up the alternate ending. And that makes me really mad. There's no way Luna would give Ignis the idea to turn from his path. Not after how strongly she and Regis and everybody believed in Noct. There's NO reason Ignis needs to know this. UGH!

-Why does the ring hurt when Ig puts it on? It didn't hurt Nyx.

-Ardyn reveals his true identity to Ignis (a complete stranger) and Noctis never finds out??? Idk.

-Why does Ardyn taunt Ignis (a total stranger) into thinking he's going to kill Noct? What purpose does that serve?

-Why was Ardyn shocked to see the ring in the alternate ending, but in the main episode he wasn't worried?

-Why could Noctis command the crystal so easily in the alternate ending, when it was ignoring him in the main game?

-What happened to the Niflhiem Empire? Did Ardyn still kill Iedolas?

-Why doesn't Ardyn kill Ravus/turn him into a demon? So much for wiping out the bloodline of the oracle. :p

-How come in the original story, Ravus is fooled by Ardyn disguising himself (as Noct),and Ardyn then kills him, but in ep Iggy, he sees right through the fake Gladio?

-And to top it all off, Iggy walks up to Noct at the end and mouths "Your Majesty", which is already starting to spark theories that that was ARDYN! Personally, I don't buy into the theory, but why the tease?????

11. OTHER THINGS I PERSONALLY DIDN'T LIKE

-It was short. Come on, we waited until December for and hour and a half of gameplay? Episode Prompto was way longer and fuller. (And raised a lot less questions...)

-All fangirl squealing aside, Iggy's outfit changes were kinda lame.

-All that money spent on an alternative ending when the main game is starving for patches...?

-Throughout the episode proper, we get dumb clips that intentionally set up the alternate ending. Like those visions and Ravus not dying/turning into a demon. They don't even serve a purpose into the main story.

-The blatant disregard for commitment to a story.

-The voice acting was a bit off in parts. Like, sometimes Iggy is just standing there screaming. Lol

-Ignis didn't come up with ONE new recipe!

12. IN CONCLUSION

-Tabata is spineless!

-Ahem, sorry. So yeah. Everything in this new ending is pretty messed up. The first one had it's issues, but this one to me is 10,000,000,000,872.5 times worse. It's hollow, with no backbone, and plays out like a cheesy fan fic I would pass up on AO3.

-Look, I love sweety, fluffy, nonsensical endings and happily ever afters and shippy ships too, but if Tabata sees the rate at which we're lapping up this sugar and rainbow vomit, he'll wonder why he should even waste time developing fleshed out characters with real struggles and cohesive stories, and we'll be stuck in this cheap fan service HELL forever! And that's disrespectful to true story tellers and well established character arcs everywhere! Disrespectful to the name of Final Fantasy!

-So yeah. That's all I wanted to say. I'll say no more on why I hate the alternate ending, because I know a lot of people liked it. I just wanted my friends to know why I'm won't be hopping up on this alternate ending train any time soon. ^^

Thanks for reading. Stay epic, you guys!

#Episode Ignis #spoilers #ignis scientia #final fantasy xv #ffxv #Spectre Writes

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