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pimientos-especiales · 6 years

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People often cite “My Immortal” as the worst Harry Potter fanfiction, possibly the worst fanfiction total, and it’s like, no. NO. I obviously haven’t read every HP fanfic, but “The Girl Who Lived/Rose Potter” series is the worst.

The idea isn’t terrible - what if Harry was a biological girl but everyone else was the same? I mean it’s interesting to consider - like, would Dudley and Draco pick on female Harry (I’ll just call her Rose to make it easier) as badly, or at all? Rose would spent more time with Hermione at the beginning of year 1 since they share a dorm, would they get to be friends sooner than in canon, or would it be harder for them to be friends? What about Ron? Would Ron be cool sitting with some random girl on the train to Hogwarts that first day? Would Rose and Ron be as good friends if they weren’t sharing a dorm? And then inevitably, romance would be an issue - would there be a love triangle with Ron, Rose, and Hermione? Would Rose fall for one of the other boys in school? Nobody? Assuming in this scenario everyone retains their apparent sexuality, Rose would therefore not fall for Ginny. How would Snape treat Rose, who still has her dad’s messy black hair but her mother’s eyes?

This series explores exactly none of that. Granted the series only got to like Goblet of Fire, I think, before it stopped being updated, so it didn’t address if Snape would’ve had some weird issue with a girl who looks like his dead love.

Instead, this Rose Potter turns into the Mary Sue to end all Sues. When she’s still roughing it in Muggle World, a teacher teaches her karate and she breaks Dudley’s arm. When she finds out about magic, she turns into Hermione and just absorbs all magic-related information, and then becomes brilliant at literally every subject. It’s possible she achieves this by sucking the life force out of Ron, because he turns into a dumb, jealous sap - even worse than in the books and movies.

She’s desired by like everybody, but ends up in a relationship with Cedric - reasonable - but also learns druid magic. I forget how, but she learns about how the druids have this really powerful ancient magic, and that Stonehenge is a decoy so people don’t look for the REAL Stonehenge. And also to truly tap into her new druid magic she has to be naked 24/7, but wears an amulet that makes it look like she’s wearing clothes. At one point she has to engage in a ritual with Cedric at REAL Stonehenge which involves them having sex. Also she ropes Ginny and I think Hermione and even Cedric into her crazy naked druidism. She just fucks off from school every now and then to go do druid things. Also she catches Hermione masturbating at one point and they get pretty handsy with each other, if I’m remembering right (the first part definitely happened, anyway).

Also Rose is a super student and decides to take ALL the classes. We’re treated to in-depth scenes of her taking Ancient Runes and Arithmancy, which in the story are, respectively, using ancient runes to unlock super powerful spells, and using algebra problems to unlock super powerful spells. Now those classes get a small mention in the books, so I forgive people for not knowing exactly what either is, but it IS clear that at least Runes isn’t like that. The Ancient Runes class seems to be more of a foreign language class. There’s power in the runes, but you don’t unlock super spells but writing runes on stuff in canon. And Arithmancy isn’t making spells by solving for x. It’s a more reliable form of divination that involves the power of numbers. You can equate to real life numerology, where it’s like if your name is Alan you have a name score of whatever, which means this and that about your personality and destiny.

The author has this increasingly uncomfortable fixation on nudity. Like I said, this didn’t go past the fourth book, IIRC, which means he’s lovingly describing nude 11-14 year old girls. So that’s weird. (Actually I think the more advanced nudity started when Rose was 13... that’s slightly better than 11)

Also the author flatout plagiarized big chunks of the books, just changing Harry to Rose and “he” to “her”, except sometimes he’d miss some instances.

So, to sum up, this fanfiction is a big missed opportunity, nonsensical, possibly pedophilic, and plagiarized. “My Immortal” does have sex in it, but it’s hilariously under-described. It’s not great by any means, but it’s not infuriatingly stupid or creepy the way “The Girl Who Lived” is. My Immortal makes me laugh, the Rose Potter series made me incredibly angry.

Now, I’ll have to get around for searching for an actually good fanfiction that explores if Harry had been a girl, but everything else - series of events, characters’ personalities, sexes, and sexualities - remained the same. Because the fact is that people treat girls differently from guys, and like I said, I’d wonder how Snape would treat a girl who looks half like his old dead love. I mean Draco was a shit to Hermione so I don’t imagine female!Harry would get much different treatment from him, but would Petunia treat her differently? Would Dudley? Would Ron and Hermione? I mean I’d also guess that female!Harry would be just as annoyed with Hermione being a know-it-all as canon!Harry is.

#also in the original yahoo group for that fanfiction #the author would just include random nude photos of women for each chapter #obviously adult women thankfully #but very irrelevant anyway #also the way he described the 13 year old's body was like... what 13 year old looks like that

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rosyredlipstick · 6 years

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merlin fic rec list - starter pack

@trueloveorsomething told me she’s never really read a merlin fic and my heart, that is still stuck in the blissful ignorance of november 2012, couldn’t accept that. I promptly told her I would make her a starter pack of some of my favorites and completely forgot about it until she reminded me like, an hour ago. So sorry bout that. Rina puts up with so much of my shit and deserves a nice fic rec list considering I call drunk call her at 4am and she still answers.

SO HERE’S A REC LIST THAT IS VERY LATE AND TOO LONG ILY AND I HOPE THESE BEAUTIFUL MERTHUR FICS SOMEHOW CONVEY THAT

For Your Information by reni_days (ao3 no longer available)

Summary:

Merlin sighs. "After your...announcement," he explains, "your father decided he needed a bit more information. Which is apparently where I come in. I'm sort of like his gay tutor, it's hard to explain."

Okay so this was one of my all-time favorite merlin fics because I HAVE NEVER READ A BETTER UTHER!! WHO IS TRYING TO LOVE & UNDERSTAND HIS SON!!! But recently the fic was taken off ao3 and I was desolate for numerous days UNTIL I REALIZED that the author had still left up the original livejournal post from 2012. Wow. flashbacks. Anyways, this is def in my top five I adore it.

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A New Low by Rosie_Rues // @rosierues

Summary:

Written for this prompt at kinkme_merlin, which asked for diabetic!Merlin stuck in a lift with Arthur. It grew from there.

God. GOD. secretly caring Arthur Pendragon is LITERALLY MY SHIT. The dialogue & character interactions are SO FUNNY and I swear I laugh on every read through (which is often tbh). FLUFF!

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A Modern Manservant by Mamalazzer

Summary:

A modern magical comedy very loosely based on Ugly Betty. Publishing king Uther Pendragon has had enough of his playboy son seducing every female assistant he has ever had so he hires Merlin, a man he is sure Arthur will never sleep with. Merlin would be more insulted by this fact if he wasn’t so busy trying to juggle his duties, save Arthur's skin from ruthless fashionistas and keep his magic a secret at the same time. Expect appearances by oil-lathered knights, the occasional mad druid, a perverted Will and a mental caretaker who lives in the basement and keeps harping on about coins and destiny.

I honestly think about this fic constantly. I’ve been meaning to reread it for like, a month and my time has finally come. An Ao3 legend. Wow. I’m in awe of this fic. I love it so much. Please Read, I’m Begging.

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Dying to Return by StormDancer // @hurricanedancer

Summary:

When they try to hang him, he floats.

They put him on the pyre at dawn.

He doesn’t burn.

Canon-divergence is one of my fav tags and this fic does it SO WELL! Also BAMF!Merlin bc OF COURSE and again, this fic just shows their relationship and Arthur’s inner struggles/thoughts so well as he deals with this ~~~mysterious~~~ mage. Wow. You’ll be screaming the whole time.

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The Weight of Words by Waldorph // @waldorph

Summary:

Arthur knows how to use words just as well as Merlin, and he knows about the magic.

One of the best character studies I’ve ever read. Also done by a fic legend, and it SHOWS. I never know how much i craved the tag “Smart!Arthur” bUT I DID! Also Morgana is my favorite. She needs more love.

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How to Untrain Your Dragon by Teumessian

Summary:

Merlin has many secrets but Arthur sees more than anyone knows. This is the story of a prince and a dragon. A canon changeling!verse AU, deviating around season 2.

In case you haven’t been able to tell, I’m a bITCH for magic revealed fic. And I seriously loooove when Arthur already knows. Wow. Plus this is a great twist with the changeling AU. Check it out!!!

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Emrys Ascending by tricksterity

Summary:

In the depths of the Crystal of Neahtid, Merlin sees the resurrection of Lord Voldemort, an event that will tip the balance of the world so far out that only he has the power to intervene and set it right, or stop it from ever happening. For that, he'll have to pose as a student and attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

The only problem is, he's been chosen instead of Cedric Diggory as a Triwizard Champion, and there's a recently reborn Arthur Pendragon in Gryffindor House.

*lays out cards on table* you want some character development? Some of that good BAMF Merlin shit? Some of that reincarnation? Magic revealed? 100k+? A HOGWARTS AU? Have I got the SHIT FOR YOU! Pls scream about this fic w me.

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Keep the Magic Secret by orphan_account

Summary:

For the prompt: Someone tells Arthur about the legends of Emrys, an all-powerful warlock whose destiny is to protect Arthur and his kingdom and help bring about an age of peace. He is told that Emrys is someone close to him, and has hidden his identity and trials over the years to protect himself and make sure he can continue on at Arthur's side. When Arthur asks who it is, the person turns to Arthur and shrewdly asks: "Arthur, who do you want it to be?" ... Arthur's mind automatically goes to Merlin.

ASDGL;DKLD WOW. I ADORE how the author wrote Arthur’s mindset, and the plot is so well done and fleshed out I’m totally obsessed. Wow. Such an intense slow burn I’m sure a small village went up in flames. Wow. Also, I love Gwen with my whole heart and this fic treats her RIGHT w/out ignoring her whole canon storyline. Great work!!!

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All’s Well That Ends Well by StormDancer // @hurricanedancer

Summary:

Merlin spent the week and a half that Arthur was gone splitting his time between crafting careful explanations that never ended up explaining the important things, the things that would make Arthur listen, and making half-baked plans to escape to Ealdor. He found a number of fire-proofing spells that would have no effect if they decided to cut his head off, and figured out how to adapt an invulnerability spell he had been trying to find a way to cast on Arthur without him noticing so that it would protect him from being decapitated, but it would have no effect on anything but metal. Despite all his frantic searching, he did not find a teleportation spell, because that would have been too simple and if there was one thing Merlin had learned in his years at Camelot, it was that nothing was ever simple.

A classic magic revealed fic that handles emotion - both Merlin & Arthur’s - extremely well. I’m a big fan of this author, so check out their other works if you’re interested!

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Strike of Lightning by helloearthlings

Summary:

Uther's commandment was very simple: If there should come a day when Arthur met his soulmate, he would drive a sword through their chest and kill them on sight.

EVERY fandom has their own soulmarks fic AND THIS IS MERLIN’S WOW! I love it. I adore it. I’d frame it and put it above my bed if it wasn’t 4k words.

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1609, 5280, 63360 by Sham

Summary:

When they were young, Arthur had gone running. Morgana discovered that early into her tenure at the Pendragons; shortly after the car crash, when she was swathed in a bed with silk sheets with the memory of Uther standing awkwardly in her doorway, old face creased with the vestiges of grief and uncomfortable concern for the fragile girl in his house.

I haven’t read this one yet - it’s next on my to-read list! - but it seriously looks SO GOOD and once again I LOVE MORGANA and plus there seems to be a somewhat sympathic Uther in this which, once again, I would die for.

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Fathom Me Out by supercalvin // @supercalvin

Summary:

After ten years, Arthur thinks he has Merlin all figured out. But as he watches Merlin, he finds out that he has more questions than answers. The longer he thinks about it, the more uneasy he feels. So he pushes it aside. Except, he can no longer ignore the questions he has about Merlin.

Not your everyday reveal!fic.

Great character study & development and I loooove how the author writes their relationship. Also, it’s not required, but the prequel to this fic is also very very good and I highly rec it! Check it out here - Laundry’s Hard Work.

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It’s Nice to Finally Tweet You by Pendragons Dragonlord // @pseudoauthor

Summary:

Merlin's eyes scan the headline.

Arthur Pendragon reveals mark in attempt to find the one.

"I pity the guy who's unfortunate enough to get him as a soul mate.”

In which Arthur is a famous celebrity, Merlin is a beloved teacher, and they break Twitter once. Well, twice. Okay so it's a whole bunch of times actually but it's not their fault. Really it's not.

Read that description and try not to explode over your excitement for this fic. Really, I dare you. It’s such a good balance of fluff, plot, and soulmarks. Also, Merlin is a schoolteacher and if that doesn’t sell you on it I have nothing else to offer.

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Until You Do (I’ll Bring You Tea and Honey) by TheAvalonian

Summary:

Modern AU: Everyone keeps assuming that Merlin and Arthur are together, so as a joke, they start pretending it's true. And then, suddenly, it is.

A story of giant teddy bears, meddling sisters, nonexistent homoerotic subtext (or is it?), and accidentally falling in love.

So much fluff you’ll get a toothache. The best Friends to Lovers fic I’ve ever read ever in my life. Wow. WOW. This tops the cake not only with a cherry but like, a hundred dollar bill (iDK WHAT'S BETTER THAN A CHERRY JUST DO W IT) READ THE FLUFF.

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License to Thrill by lady_ragenll // @theladyragnell

Summary:

Merlin's employees bet him the recipe for the most addictive cocoa in the world that he can't find out what the hot blond who comes into his chocolate shop does for a living within the month. He ends up getting far more than he bargained for.

This was such a joy to read like, all the dialogue? Is SO GOOD. Also, I love Merlin so much in this fic wow. Omg. I’m in love with this fic and we’re getting married this weekend.

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Not In This Land Alone by torakowalski

Summary:

Modern AU. When Merlin Emrys gets a summer job at Buckingham Palace, he doesn't expect to even meet King Arthur, let alone become involved in protecting him from a plot to overthrow the monarchy.

I’m finishing off this list with a Merlin fandom CLASSIC. Admittedly, it took me a while to get around to reading this but by the time I was a few paragraphs in I was instantly wondered WHY bc it’s SO GOOD AND I WAS MISSING OUT SO MUCH. So much drama I was thriving. The plot? Perfection. Wow.

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Okay I think that’s a decent start for a starter pack - Rina & everyone else who reads this, I hope y’all enjoy! Remember to kudus & review for any fics you enjoyed!!! Also I found like, seven new merlin fics I somehow haven’t read yet soooooooooo another list may be on the way soon omg.

#merlin #merthur #arthur pendragon #morgana #fic rec list #fic recs #trueloveorsomething #FOR RINA #rina tag

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